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The Man I Want to Be…..

Chapter 3 The First Blood Exchange

The characters of the Southern Vampire Mysteries belong to Miss Charlaine Harris. No infringement on my part is intended. The characters on True Blood belong to Mr. Alan Ball. No infringement on my part is intended.

I have no BETA, editor, or other such charming person. All mistakes are my own.

 This story is rated M.

Something that resembled sanity reinserted itself into Sookie’s brain. “Vampire, orgasm…vampire…orgasm…vampire…my knees around his ears…vampire…okay, I need to stop thinking about that. That does not help me focus on the important things.

Focus on what I know. He has been in my house every night for the past week. He is, smart, funny, interesting, a good dancer and he can see my knees around his ears…

Holy shit…Gran, we talked about a lot of things, vampires and oral sex were two of those things not on that list.

And,” she said wrapping her arms around her knees, “honest. Very honest. I met him at the door, naked, wanting sex and blatantly wanting sex and he wants to talk to me first. Vampire, fangs, long legs and a great smile and he is honest.”

“He is gorgeous,” she heard Bad Sookie say. Turning to look at her right shoulder sat a very small replica of herself, licking her lips.

“Bad, bad Sookie,” she shook her head at her. “Get over here on my left shoulder and be the Good Sookie.”

When she turned her head to the left, there sat Good Girl Sookie. The one that cleaned her room and ate all her vegetables and shopped for Gran and made payments on time…

Good Girl Sookie patted her on the cheek. “Baby Girl,” she sighed, “you are the very best person you know how to be. It is time for you to make some very grown up decisions.”

“Make the good choices,” Bad Sookie yelled from her right shoulder. “DO HIM!”

“Hush now,” Good Girl Sookie said leaning over to look at Bad Girl and shaking her finger. “This is her decision to make. And yes, he has long legs, and that perfect chiseled face and a very nice smile.”

“And his hands,” Bad Sookie was jumping up and down on her shoulder, “did you see his hands! What he must be packin’ in his pants! We could know for sure!”

Sookie brushed the Bad Sookie off her shoulder and turned once more to the Good Sookie. “What do you think?”

“I’d do him,” Good Girl Sookie said with a sure shake of her head.

The water was still running in the sink as she sat staring at that dust bunny that was wiggling its eyebrows at her. “Bad, bad vampire queen looking for me because that drug using, money stealing Hadley could not keep her mouth shut. And Eric told me that…honest…he is just so fuckin’ honest. And even Good Sookie would do him. That’s a first.”

What was that? It sounded like an acoustic guitar? Getting up and shutting off the water, she could hear Eric playing the guitar and singing…as the words played on her heart…

*“…begging for another chance if there is any chance at all…”

Walking to the front door, she opened it and there he sat on the swing, looking up at her.

Opening the screen door, she slipped out and sat next to him. Raising his arm, she slid in next to him as he continued to play, her body now pushed up next to his, her arms around his chest.   When he finished, she looked up at his face and their lips met in a soft kiss.

What was looking back at her was not death and destruction. Nor was there slyness or contrivance. There was just Eric with his blue eyes that sparkled when they looked at her. The Eric she had spent the week with, Eric who she thought she would have sex with…was she destined to always be a virgin?

“No,” whispered Bad Girl. “No! Please! No!”

“Say it,” Good Sookie whispered to her. “Just tell him. Then you will know.”

“You warned me about Compton. He would be charming.   Soft spoken, a gentleman.   Would find my weakness and play on it. You always carry a guitar around in your trunk?”

“Good,” he nodded his head in approval.   “Smart, beautiful and you can piece things together on the run. Miss Stackhouse, we just might survive this.”

“We…” her voice trailed off.

He put the guitar against the wall. “We, you plus me, go team.”

“I don’t know just what that means, but I have to earn a living,” she began, “and I have responsibilities. And I don’t want to end up in New Orleans…” she shook her head, “because…because,” her voice broke,   “my junkie cousin can’t keep her fuckin’ mouth shut.

So please tell me, Eric, what does it mean to be yours?”

“In the vampire world, Sookie, those of the fang keep humans for food and sex and they call them pets. We provide for them. Keep them in style. They are a means of showcasing our wealth, status and good taste. Pets are glamoured when they are no longer of value and sent on their way. Or sometimes they are drained and tossed aside. Or passed around. It depends on the vampire.”

“Fuckin’ worse than I thought,” she shook her head, her voice quiet.

“There are also those vampires that are bonded to their human. They share blood; each other’s blood and there is a bond that forms between the two of them. Not unlike a maker and his child. But being bonded to a human, this is done for a reason. It has to be cleared with your royal. Paperwork and all that.”

“Do you have a child?” she asked. Her voice puzzled.

“I made a child. Her name is Pamela. She was a bit older than you when I turned her.   She guards my back and fusses at me when I run with pointed objects or bring the true death to someone who pisses me off. Because,” he smiled, “she feels that it is her job to kill those that piss me off.”

Sookie laughed. “She is devoted to you.”

“Yes,” he nodded “very much.”

“So what is that like? Having a vampire child?”

“There develops between the maker and child, a joining. I have never been bonded, so I cannot tell you exactly what that is like. But I believe it is like that of a maker and child. I can feel Pamela and when I allow it, she can feel me.”

“When you allow it?”

“Sookie, think on it like your telepathy. Only I can turn it on and off. I don’t hear voices, but I can, when I desire it, see through Pam’s eyes. And I do get her feelings and I can bombard Pam with mine if I am out of sorts. And she can do the same to me.   And I can track Pam because of my blood in her body. But I control how much or how little.”

Picking up her hand, he kissed it.

“We…we become what?” her voice was a low whisper, her eyes searching his. “Bonded? What is that?”

“And as my bonded, you are more than a pet. You are mine and I am yours. I provide everything for you. You are to be there when I rise so that I can feed and you are the last thing I see when I retire.

But that does not please me. And I know, Sookie, that it would not please you.   For us, something more.”

“Good, ‘cause I come with all kinds of issues, Eric, since I can hear humans. And the thoughts about me were not flatterin’. All the kids in school thought I was the most likely to flunk out. And there were those moms who thought I was most likely to end up an unwed mother. Then there were those town folks who thought I would end up in the state facility for the mentally insane.   I do not want any of this to be self-fulfilling prophecy.

Besides, my Gran was a lady. She raised me with a belief system and to respect, myself. That being said…you have another option?

“Sookie,” Eric said softly, “Kiss me.”

“Okay,” she smiled. “Would you mind if it was on the mouth?”

“You can not be glamoured, either,” he chuckled.


“Where I push my will at you and you do whatever I ask you to.”

“Oh…oh? Really?”

“Yes, Hadley cannot and neither can you. However Jason can.”

“Jason, my brother?” her voice was very unhappy.

“I will not lie to you Sookie,” Eric held her hand. “I have been checking. I need to know what New Orleans knows.”

“Fuckin’ Hadley!” Sookie spit. “Okay, got that out of my system, sorta.”

“I am going to have talk to a few folks, but I think this can be done. In our list of vampire bullshit rules, it says that Supernaturals are blessed to continue. You are more than human. Which makes you some sort of supe. And since you are a supe, you could be blessed to continue with me.”

“Blessed to continue?” She sat up straighter and was searching his eyes.

“Vampire has interrupted that to mean that we can marry another vampire but you can set the contract for an amount of time. Now, The Council might get a bit peevish about me marrying a human or even another supe, but we could certainly be blessed to continue.”

“So, if some one asked me, I can just tell them that you are Swedish and we had a blessed to continue service. I could tell them that it is your equivalent to being married and that I am not livin’ in sin.”

“Yes,” he countered. “That is something you could tell your friends.”

“Eric, do you have a belief system? And how old are you? And what happens when you no longer want me? And can I get pregnant? And would our baby have fangs?”

“Yes, I believe in a higher power. I am one thousand years old. Your life expectancy will continue on its normal path. My blood will push your age limit a bit. I hold my pledge. I pledge myself to you, I shall be your mate until your last breath. I cannot give you a baby so we will not have children.”

“You could not get a human pregnant? Right? But I am part supe.”

“Sookie,” he shook his head. “I am dead. Or the undead.”

“No,” she shook her head. “You are not. Everything about you says living human when I look at you. You have blood. You feed on blood. I can see the veins in your body.   Maybe the chambers of your heart are no longer elastic and therefore do not pump the blood through like when you were human, but your blood still passes through your heart where the electrical impulses push it on its way.

So, when you have sex, you have a discharge?”

“Yes,” he answered.

“So, your,” she shrugged, “essence, it is just not compatible with human, that does not mean it is not compatible with other supes. You have sex with other supes?”

“No, only humans. Not another vampire in centuries.”

“So you don’t know?” her voice held questions.

“Honestly, no I don’t. But you are going to have to accept in you heart and your brain that you will not have a child.”

“That’s fine, I was not planning on it anyway. If I had the money, I would have my tubes tied. I would not ever pass this to my child,” she said wiping her eyes. “I wish it had not been passed to me.”


“Sorry for that pity outburst,” she wiped her eyes, again.   “This past week, this has been the best one of my life. I looked forward every night to getting off from work and having you to talk, too. Somebody that gets my sense of humor and is smart and likes to read. That you actually read Anna Karenina. I like Tolstoy. Always have. All the Russian angst and passion for what most folks think is the mundane. He writes it very well. That was when I knew…you were the one. Some one that I would like to have sex with and there would be no awkwardness between us. Like now, no awkwardness…” her eyes searched his face. He was listening to her.

“Now, I met you at the door naked. Sex was not going to be an issue. I thought tonight I would know…I would know what that felt like.”

“You still can,” he said standing and taking her with him.

This to be blessed to continue…” she smiled at him. “Is there a ceremony or somethin’? Could I actually invite someone? Or must it be private?”

“Sookie,” he grinned and kissed her again. “I am vampire. There is always a ceremony. I think outside with one or two of your friends in attendance would be fine.”

“Is it anything like the marriage ceremony you had as Viking?”

Eric may have paused in mid-stride. “Viking…?” he smiled at her.

“Yes, you talked about the boats and sailing in the fjords. You are a thousand years old. You carry yourself with what Gran always called military bearing. A warrior of some type. I just made the jump to Viking.”

“Miss Stackhouse,” he grinned at her as he opened the door, “you are quick and then some.”

“Eric won’t you please come in and the bedroom is that way,” she pointed with her head. “What was that like? Being out on that boat? I have watched all the Viking documentaries and read all the books they have in the library. Not to mention countless romance novels about Vikings.”

“I was not a pirate so I was not always out raiding. I also had a farm. You cannot eat your raiding spoils so we planted oats, wheat, barely. We raised sheep, cows, pigs, chickens.”

“Yes,” she nodded, “I really enjoy seeing the replicas of those villages. Now, there is lots of speculation about how those boats were built. There are some replicas out there. How historically accurate are those?”

“Well,” he began, placing her on the bed. She leaned over and watched him as he unfastened his shoes. “Yes, we went up the tree and removed the limbs and then we would fell the tree. You need the entire tree because you had to split the wood along the grain.”

Sitting up, she turned him a bit so she could unfasten his shirt.   “You sound like you know something about that? You help build as well?”

“Yes,” he laughed. “If you went out on the boat, for whatever reason, you had knowledge of repair work.”

His laughter filled her bedroom. “There was one time, it was early in the season. But word had come to us of a new land baron where would now be London. So we took off. We went up the mouth of the Thames. And there sat a dragon boat, unguarded. It was like a gift from our gods. We said fuck it, pulled the boat out into the water, lashed it to ours and took off for home. It was twice the size of the one that we had. And it had a nice variety of goods in it as well.”

“There is no honor among thieves,” she hooted, “I can just see their faces. Coming back to their boat, their arms carrying off stuff, being chased and then Orlic bellowing, ‘What the fuck, who lost the boat?’”

“I did that one time,” Eric was laughing. “I was so drunk, I could not remember where I had docked. When I sobered up, I still could not remember.   I ended up walking home. When I got back to the village, my boat was there, tied up. Exactly where it was supposed to be.”

“Drunks. It is interesting that behavior has not changed. You took someone else’s boat out,” Sookie snickered, “thinkin’ it was yours. I don’t know how many times I have called a taxi for Mrs. Howard because she kept tryin’ to unlock Sam’s truck with her keys. She’d come back in wantin’ to know whose keys she had.”

“Yes,” he laughed. “Yes I did. It was never found and I never admitted to doing that.”

Eric took her hands and placed them on his belt. Her fingers felt like silk against his skin. The belt was undone, then the button then the zipper.

“Now, you have managed to surprise me,” she grinned. “You struck me as the type to go commando.”

“I want you to feel comfortable Sookie,” his voice was sincere.   “King Eric can be a bit much.”

“King Eric?” she smiled.

“Yes, he insists. I prefer to call him dick head but he takes an exception.”

“Oh my,” Sookie heard a voice coming from Eric’s pants. “I was not aware that we were entertaining, tonight. I would have brought flowers, flown you to Paris, lined your path with rose petals for one so fair and soft of voice so that your dainty feet would never touch the ground.”

Sookie’s eyes went to Eric’s face and he just rolled his eyes. “See. King Eric is a charmer and fancies himself a ladies man. Not one to be trusted.”

“Please, blessed one, do not listen to the bore that runs at the mouth.”

“Awww!” Sookie let out a squeak. “He…he…is peeking out the top…”

“So beautiful,” she heard sigh from the tip of Eric’s penis. “So splendid. So female. You, my most prized jewel, you surely cannot be meant for the likes of us.

Eric,” she heard hissed. “Please tell me that she is intended for us. I think I am in love. I can be faithful to one so fair of face and form and pure of heart. Have you written her love sonnets? Of course not,” he sputtered. “I am talking to the biggest idiot that ever walked the earth. I will handle this. You just go to sleep and do not interfere.”

Sookie was laughing and looking at Eric he just shrugged. “King Eric,” he mouthed and whispered and pointed to his crotch.

With a smile, she pulled off her hoodie and stood in front of Eric as his hands ran down her body to her jeans. Unfastening them, he pulled them off. Pulling her to him, with his hands on her ass, he placed his face in her crotch and inhaled.   With his teeth, he began taking little tiny nips through her panties.

Her hands were in his hair for balance. Then she felt his head move up her body, unfasten her bra and then he began to suckle on the left nipple and then the right.

Standing, he placed her on the bed, pulled off his pants and then was in bed beside her.

She could feel King Eric through his boxers.

“I know,” he began, “that this is not a decision that you make lightly. I know the excellence of the person that you are…that you are intended to be.

For tonight, if you wish, I can just worship your body. Spend with what remains of the dark, bringing you to one orgasm after another. Asking nothing in return for myself.”

“Mm-m-m-m,” her hands rand down his chest to cloth that was between her and the next part of her life. “Maybe you should go to sleep now and let King Eric take over.”

Eric pulled off the boxers and then her panties. “We have options,” he said nuzzling her breasts. “Just sex and you will not dream of me. You can allow me to feed from you after your orgasm and I will dream of you. Or you may drink from me as well and we can start the bonding process. I dream of you, you have some really nasty dreams about me. Or at least, that is how it works with humans. I don’t know about you, Sookie.”

“I thought we had to have clearance for that?” she said, her voice puzzled.

“Well…for those law-abiding, ass-kissing vampires, yes.”

“Oh,” she drew back and looked at him. “Are you a bad boy?”

“The original,” he smiled.

“Well just damn,” she laughed. “Okay, I don’t think I have a problem feeding you. I, I don’t know about drinking your blood. I like my meat done. Not hockey puck done but not bleeding.”

“Fair enough,” he smiled. “Now,” he pulled her in closer, his body pushing against hers, “I think we were kissing.”

Eric went carefully about her seduction. “Stay away from her thighs with your hands,” he reminded himself. Which was more than fine. Her kisses were hypnotic. He could not get enough as her tongue traced his gums, his lips, her mouth moving on top of his and sometimes captured by his.

Her breasts filled his hands. Her nipples were between his pointer and middle fingers, squeezing gently as he massaged her breasts.

Her hands roamed up and down his chest, his back, they were in his hair. When they moved back to his chest, he knew she was ready. King Eric was pushed into her leg and there was a confidence to her touch as she kneaded his flesh with her fingers until she made contact.

“Awww,” came out in a low moan. “Yes,” he murmured. “Sookie, yes, please.”

Placing her hands at his base, she pulled upwards, squeezing just the right amount with her hands.

“Yes,” he kept repeating as he listened to her moans.

“Mm-m,” he pushed out as he lifted her to his head. “Place your hands on the either the wall or the headboard and hang on,” he said to her as he pulled her down to his mouth.

Tasting her passion, it flowed willingly into his mouth. She ripened quickly. Her heat and swollen lips telling him that she was there.   With one more thrust of his tongue, her pelvis began the dance and the screaming began in earnest. He tightened his grip on her ass and held her in place. When she shuddered for the third time, he pulled her down into his arms.

He placed his hand at her entrance and her body, by instinct, pushed up against him.

“Please,” she murmured, “I ache inside. Please.”

Kissing her, he moved on top of her, his knees gently pushing her legs, apart. “You are wet, Sookie, and your body wants to be filled,” he whispered in her ear. “By me. It wants me inside of you. Yes, you pelvis is beginning to rock, wanting…” he licked her neck.

“Yes,” she whispered back. Her voice a moan. “Yes please.”

“Aw-w-w,” slid out of his mouth when he pushed into her. “M-m-m, so sweet,” he murmured in her ear. “You are so sweet. You taste like nectar, see,” his lips bent to hers. “That sweetness in my mouth, that is yours. You found your release, Sookie, on my mouth.”

“Eric please,” she whispered again, this time thrusting her pelvis forward.

There were several thrusts as he adjusted to her and she to him. “M-m-m, good fit,” he smiled and nuzzled her ear, his hips gently rocking back and forth. “Look at me Sookie,” he lifted his face to look into her eyes. “It is not too late. Do you want me to stop?”

“Madness burned through her eyes. “Stop?” she whimpered. “No, please no.”

“I am yours,” he latched onto her nipple and suckled until she was beating his back with her hands as his hips rocking faster. Shifting a bit, his penis was now riding on her clit as her moans became mangled. When her pelvis pushed out against him, it was time to claim her. As she rode the orgasm, he pushed through and spilled inside of her.

With her screams spilling out into the darkness, he found the vein in her throat and bit. His eyes rolled up into the back of his head as she filled him. Ancient memories flooded him. He could see Godric, his maker, and Godric’s maker and all of those of his line that had come before him. Something woke up in his blood and it absorbed all the magic that had belonged to those makers before him.

“Sookie,” his voice was desperate, “I need for you to feed, lover,” was all he could gasp out when he slit his skin above his heart.

Raising her head, she licked the wound.

“More, latch on,” his hands held her head in place as she began to actively feed. His mouth was back on her neck, his hands everywhere as they both swallowed in unison. In his mind he was howling as they shared the blood that was pumped through his heart and back into her!

Sookie opened her eyes, her mouth still attached to Eric, the blood flowing into her mouth beginning to slow down. Looking at her right shoulder she could see both Good Girl and Bad Girl Sookie, laid out, panting and gasping. “How we doin’?” she mouthed at her conscience.   Both raised their heads, with ridiculous grins on their faces. Bad Girl had her tongue hanging out of her head. Good Girl was chanting, “More, more, more!” From both she got a thumbs-up.

* The Man I Want to Be   Brett James & Tim Nichols 2009

Dear Readers,

If you do not mind the short chapters, I can post perhaps once or twice a week.  I am still working my dragon story.

As always, thanks for reading!