Chapter 10   Clean Up on Aisle Six Six Six

The characters of the Southern Vampire Mysteries belong to Miss Charlaine Harris. No infringement on my part is intended. The characters on True Blood belong to Mr. Alan Ball. No infringement on my part is intended.

I have no BETA, editor, or other such charming person. All mistakes are my own.


This story is rated M.


“The new magister,” Salome stood, pointed an accusing finger at Compton. “He was the one that not only brought us the charges about your…” she hesitated, “about your Mrs., Sheriff. But now he wants to question her as well,” she said sitting down and pushed her chair up against Roman, putting part of his body in front of hers. “He did this because his Queen commanded him to do so. The Authority has not nor has it ever had an interest in you or yours, Sheriff,” she stressed his title. “We are more than happy with the work that you have accomplished and how well you manage your area.”

Sophie-Anne’s mouth dropped open. “You bitch!” she screeched. “You lying, cheating whore! The Romans should have crucified you right along with all the other rabble. Who did you go down on to escape having your tongue cut out? Was it your father?”

“Self righteous bitch!” Salome screeched back. “I am a dancer! An artist!”

“Magister,” Roman stood. “Bring order to this chaos!”

“You piece of were shit,” Salome screamed, her attention now on Compton.   Standing and throwing her chair, then the table, she picked up Andrew with him in his chair and tossed that as well. “You brought this into our house! You…”

Nan waded in and grabbed Salome by the shoulders and threw her against the wall. “Shut the fuck up,” she said righting her clothes. “It is done. And yes, Compton was the fuck-up that Sophie-Anne used,” her eyes cut to the queen. “But we cannot go back. Only forward. Obviously Eric used all of us to get to this point and time. “

Andrew picked himself up out of the wreckage and picking up a wooden table leg, threw it like a spear at Eric.

Reaching out his hand, Eric caught it and then was holding Andrew by the neck, dangling his feet in the air.

With a slam, Andrew’s body hit the floor and then the impromptu stake the vampire child had thought to use on Eric was in his heart and his body exploded. “Seen and not heard,” Eric said standing, his eyes now resting on Sophie-Annde “Now I believe we were discussing who wanted to speak to my Mrs.”

“Well yes,” Bill stepped up. “Yes, that is why we are here. See,” he said turning to face where The Authority now sat, minus the table, “order from chaos.   Please remember this when it is time to pick a permanent Magister.”

“Oh God,” the moaning began out in the audience, “why do you sound like a woman?”

Pamela was snickering out loud and talking about how she could sniff out silver. His child was a piece of work. But she was his.   Righting himself, he brushed off goo. That was the nice thing about leather. Could be wiped down.   The linen shirt was a goner, though. Chainmail, just dunk it in water, wipe it off, and hang it to dry. Not like he had not done that before.

“Bill, as the new Magister, bring out Lilith,” Eric said.

“But…” he shrugged, “Salome has said that she is not in attendance at this moment.”

“How can she not be?” Eric asked. “She is blood in a container. Haul her ass on out here. I was asked to ante up five mil to help build her new chamber. I want to see her.”

That started the onlookers talking, again. Various amounts were being talked out loud. “Only five?” Russell sputtered. “Why, Talbot and I were asked for fifteen million, apiece!”

The crowd got ugly and started shouting.

“Bring your best manners forward,” Bill said as he stepped though the crowd. “We are in the presence of Lilith,” he kept saying as he walked through the onlookers.”

“Fuck that!” someone tripped him and someone else kicked him while he was down.

“How much does a glass decanter cost?” was yelled. “Fuck, even a crystal one?”

“But…” Bill began and then he was picked up and tossed against a wall.

Roman stood up, shouting for order. “We’ll go and get her, to show the faithful and the faithless that Lilith is present in her house.”

“Better count heads to see who goes missing,” Vlad said in an overly loud voice.

“Glad I am not in a back room somewhere,” Cedric called out. “Tendin’ to Authority business and about to get drained for my efforts.”

“Fuck, send out the slaves,” Rosalyn muttered to Roman as they stood. “Give’m something to snack on and maybe our asses will come out of this in one piece.”

Kibwe snorted. “You think you are going to appease this crowd? Northman has been working this plan all along. Just waiting for us to be stupid enough so he could invite himself and his friends in.”

“Kibwe,” Salome held out her hand. “Come with us. We have a bolt hole,” she mouthed.

Kibwe had survived many reign of terrors and he thought he recognized one brewing out on the floor this minute. They had already collected nearly a hundred million from those present tonight. Research did take some money. His bank account had been just a tad low as well. “I thought the donations were suppose to be kept secret?”

Roman just rolled his eyes. “They were, until tonight’s little happy gathering that you just insisted that we have. A great way to get rid of San Diego, you boasted. And now, perhaps the rest of us as well. Northman is a spiteful bastard. This way.”

In Roman’s office, he moved back a tapestry, pressed on a section and the wall, opened. Salome was through, the Kibwe. Roman was right behind him with a blade and removed his head. “Quick,” he said as he pushed Kiwbe’s body into the small empty pool that was behind the wall and then it went to goo. “Dump the flowers from the vase, grab that cup and we will fill it with his blood and put this ashtray on top. Just invert it, Salome. See, now it fits. A sacred vessel and its covering. Quick, check for blood spatter. You look good,” he nodded. “How about me.”

“Yes,” she said as her mind was attempting to construct her next web of lies. “We both look good. Now, back in we go.”

“Hm-m-m-m,” Siggy watched as they walked back in. “Kibwe seems to be missing.”

“Oh,” Ian chuckled, “I think he is present, just without his body.”

“Kneel before Lilith,” Bill said as he venerated the blood of his god.

The crowd seemed to be a bit remiss. One or two kneeled and others snickered. The murmurings from the convicts’ area held everyone’s attention.

“Do you smell this?” Salome held the crystal vase up high. “Do you smell the blood of our god, the first vampire? Who dares to question? All of you, kneel before your god.”

“Not my god,” they all heard Eric’s Mrs. say. “Just looks like a vase with blood in it and is that an ash tray they have placed on top of that?   Really? Why is there an ash tray in the vampires secret hideout?”

“Because, lover, they entertain humans that smoke,” Eric replied.

“Oh,” was all she said as she saw those vampires that had kneeled, rise and look around, like maybe no one had noticed their act of foolishness.

“I dare to question,” Eric said as he stood up.   Quiet reigned over the room.

“May I approach?” he asked.

“Of course,” Roman smiled, thinking his time had come. So Northman would be the one to end him.

“Child, come with me please,” he held out his hand and Pamela stood. “Bring your…” he paused, “purse,” he shook his head when she lifted what he thought could pass as a piece of luggage.

“Bring over that sofa table,” Eric said with a nod of his head toward the back of the room. When it was in place, he said, “The blood of Lilith, please. Just place it here.

Child,” he smiled. “Your witch burning kit is needed.”

“Oh,” she nodded.   “It is at the bottom. Wait one. My foldable entrenching tool,” she patted it fondly as she set it down. “His name is Smitty. First time I used it was on Smitty. You just never know when someone is gonna need buryin’. Especially if no gators are around. Hm-m-m,” she regarded the garrote, “a stealthly piece of business if you don’t mind the tap dance they can do if you are not quick, enough. Silver spray, hair spray, perfume,” she pulled it all out. “Oh, here we go.   Lighter fluid and matches. Sure to get any witches attention.”

Picking up the vase, with a quick wrist action, the blood was spread out on the top of the table. Equally as quick, Eric dispensed the lighter fluid and poof, went the match.

“For a god, she burns nicely,” Ian observed, as fangs snicked down all over the room.

“We needed the money for research,” Roman said, his voice quiet.  “We have been talking with the breathers in charge. Since they now know that we exist, I am sure they are developing weapons to defeat us. Just as we have silver bullets and hollow points with liquid silver, I am sure the breathers will develop these as well. Along with others.”

“Who,” Eric asked, “pulled the trigger on William the Conqueror? I know what you infected him with. It came out of a laboratory in China. “I I want to know whose idea it was?”

“It was Kibwe,” Rosalyn said, standing. “It was his idea.”

“I doubt that,” Eric smiled. “I have plenty of video of you in South West Texas. There to watch your little experiment.”

Rosalyn’s head flew across the room. “I know she did not act alone. When I find out who helped her, their head shall be just as detached from their body.”

Salome was maintaining. She thought she was doing very nicely. Calm and relaxed. Itching to get to her chambers and call upon her dark lord. If she made a mad dash and spread-eagled herself in the middle of the pentagram, who would be able to touch her?

“I know my death is imminent,” she said out to the crowd. “Because a sacrifice will be needed to pacify you.  Willingly, I offer myself.  If you would just allow me to dance, one more time…” she bowed her head and held out her hands in supplication.

Eric shrugged and sat down. The room became quiet.   She had defeated so many men with the swish of a veil and the promise of more. These vampires were no different. Poor Siggy, he was never going to get what she owed him. She would meet the sun before she turned over one penny to him.

Standing, she unbuttoned her jacket and tossed it aside. Then she began unbuttoning her blouse and then she ran!

Her door slammed shut then she removed the carpet and threw herself upon the floor. Frantically she was embracing the painting of the goat-headed god that was going to save her for himself.

The door opened and in walked Eric. “What have we here?” he chuckled. “Why Salome are you trying to fuck the painting of that goat?”

“Yes,” she said as she humped the floor faster. “He will appear and you shall be just an unpleasant memory.”

“Siggy,” Eric shook his head, “are you sure you want her?”

“Yes, she owes me a night of passion and money. That was the bet.”

“Well,” Eric said picking her up off the floor and threw her against the wall.   There were good, solid, crunching sounds. For her own safety and to keep her from further humiliation…Eric looked at the floor at what she thought to summon, just an ugly fucker…he locked her into the silver chains that she had attached to one wall while she screeched and bled. “She will be here waiting for you when you are ready to…to…” Eric shrugged.

“Oh,” Siggy shook all over, “she is not for me,” he grinned. “There is a vampire colony of monks.”

“You mean the old order of Saint Sebastian?” Eric asked. “They are still around?”

“Yes,” he nodded. “In Russia. Once a year they forsake their vows. So she will dance for them and be welcomed, there. If she pleases them, they will pay me the money that she owes me. Of course, they bring the final death to her if she tries to escape, The Da’vid will see to it that her money becomes mine.”

“Nice,” Eric said as they withdrew from the room and left the screaming of obscenities and very rude and vulgar acts behind closed doors.

Bill was watching Sookie. With Eric’s bitch of a child sitting next to her, and her being surrounded and all by vampires that were more than a thousand years old, he thought maybe now was not the best time to drag her ass down here to be questioned.

But then, she was the reason they were here. And just look at the death and destruction that had been brought about because of her! And the chaos! Why, there was a smashed wood conference table. A lovely thing! And some very nice smashed office chairs. He had actually sat in one. They were real nice with lumbar support and everything. They probably bought them at Target and not Wal Mart. Which he thought was a waste of money. But still, a nice chair. And dead bodies and Salome in the back doing only god knows what with Siggy and Eric. He heard she liked multiples.

This madness of killin’ and wanton destruction and hump-like-a-rabbit sex had to stop! After all he was now magister! Satan’s workshop had to be prevented. He was William T. Compton and he talked to God!

“I call this meeting to order,” he said with his best command voice.

“Bill,” Eric said re-entering the room. “I agree with you. We have wasted enough time. What is it that you want to know?”

“Why,” Bill took a step back. “Is this some type of trick? One of your Viking feints so that you can continue this path of madness?”

“Ask your questions, Bill, now or never.”

“Well, if Sookie will just come…”

“No,” Eric replied. “Mrs. Northman,” Eric glared, “shall sit in my lap and she will answer your questions from there.”

“But,” he drew himself up, “I am the magister…”

“Shut the fuck up Bill,” Roman said. “Please,” he smiled at Eric then Sookie.   “Whenever you are ready.”

The gallery became quiet.

Nan could still hear the ticking of the clock. Now there were little worms crawling around on her wearing a three-piece business suit with a nametag that said. Hello My Name is The True Death. Brushing them off, she concentrated on what was going on around her.   Ian and Cedric were watching her. Their eyes glowed like the fires she had set that night. What the fuck had she been thinking when she torched their manor? She could still hear the screaming peasants and smell them as they burned. It was Yuletide and snowing and she remembered that night being bitterly cold and knowing that who ever she could not kill with fire, the cold would take them. But she really liked the fire the best.

“It was meant to be a joke,” she shouted out loud from the visual of her past and then realized that everyone was looking at her. “Calling Mrs. Northman here,” she sat up and squared her shoulders. “Bill is such a fucking fuckup, who thought he would actually be able to pull this off?”

“The Magister’s office is no laughing matter,” Bill said as he turned to Nan. “We keep the peace and prevent chaos and see to it that evil does not take hold in our good works.”

Everyone in the room could hear Eric snickering. “Leaving in 5,4, 3,…”

“Well yes,” Bill turned his attention to Sookie. “If I might begin?

What is your name?” he asked.

“Sookie Stackhouse Northman,” she responded.

“And your relationship to Eric the Viking,” he asked.

“I am his blessed to continue,” she replied.

There was no noise and all eyes were on Eric and Sookie.

“So,” Bill smiled. “You are some type of Supe?”

“That is correct,” she smiled.

“And you cannot be glamoured?”

“Correct,” she responded.

“And you can hear people’s thoughts?”

“Humans only, not vampire or other supes. Like weres for instance. They sound like a lot of static on your radio.”

“And other members of your family?” he asked.

“I cannot speak for them. Although, Eric tells me my brother can be glamoured and that my cousin Hadley Savoy, Sophie-Anne’s pet,” she rolled her eyes, “can not be. But Hadley does not hear humans’ thoughts.”

“And how does this make you a Supe?” Bill asked. “Perhaps you are just a gifted human.”

“I am descended from a blood born vampire,” she replied.

“Oh were shit,” was murmured by one or two.

Bill was at a loss for words.

Nan was about to have a screaming fit! Blood born with the blue fire that would send her into a burning oblivion! This was the stuff of her nightmares!

“Eric is as well. Together we complete the circuit that your mythos talks about. Act and Acy’yed.”

“You are an abomination!” Bill screeched as he lunged for her. He was the Magister! He was suppose to have those powers, not her! Nan thought that Bill had such a good idea she did likewise.

From Sookie’s body came blue flames that converged on both of them. They were left with their skinned burned off, gasping and floundering like a fish out of water, or a vampire without a place to go to ground. “I am Eric’s warrior,” she said regarding the rest of the room. “That was nothing. I protect him by day, he protects his family by night and he is far more powerful than me. Try us and meet the true death.”

“We are done here.” Eric said. “Those are your questions answered. Ian and Cedric, Siggy, I believe those two on the floor belong to you,” Eric nodded with his head. “Siggy, Salome is wrapped in silver in her quarters waiting for you.”

“Thank you Eric,” the three bowed to him and went off to claim their prizes.

Roman was standing, surveying the room. There were plenty of vampires that had questions. He was one of them. Walking over to Eric he said, “What happens now?”

Eric shrugged. “We are going home. Anyone thinks to threaten me or my all encompassing family, I will know. And their final death will come at my hands.”

“But what am I to do?” Roman asked.

“Pick a better council, for starters,” Eric replied. “Don’t you have any friends?”

“Friends,” and Eric could tell it was a foreign tasting word that left a bitter aftertaste in Roman’s mouth.

Eric regarded him with a shake of his head. “You wanted this, so continue to work your contacts.   Bring vampire out into the open. But keep in mind, the humans that know about us know what happened to William. We are not to be trusted, ever. And this blight will be on us for the rest of our days.”

“Eric,” Talbot waved and came over, “your Mrs. is so charming. The two of you will be all the rage in vampire circles for the next hundred years or so. I want details. Blood born? How do you know? At times, I swear I can hear what Russell is thinking. And there were one or two here tonight that I know were infringing on my psyche as well. Is there a test I can take or some type of written exam?”

Talbot raised his left right hand to his mouth and tapped his tooth with his thumbnail.

“Nice cufflinks,” Eric smiled. “I do believe that is the eye teeth of a red hirsch.” (deer)

“Oh,” he smiled. “I don’t know. How charming that you know. Russell had them make for me. He says I am the reason he smiles.”

“Yes,” Eric nodded. “I can see how that is possible, except those cufflinks belonged to William the Conqueror.”

“What?” Talbot screeched. “He took these off a finally dead body! He gave me grave robbed goods! Russell,” his bellowing and crying filled the room, “how could you?”

“Yes Russell,” Eric’s eyes lit up with lightning, “how could you?”

Russell was standing there and then there was just a poof of smoke.

“Cheap bastard,” Talbot was crying. “Fucking cheap bastard. Why is it all the good ones are taken?” he whimpered. “I deserve to be loved. I am a good person in my heart. I am faithful and can be faithful to only one man,” he sobbed as he sat down on the floor and his tears made a bloody mess. “I am over eight-hundred years old,” he sobbed. “Who is going to want to look at me and my fat ass? Who is going to want Russell’s cheap left overs, why, he gave me grave robbed goods,” he sobbed out. “My heart is broken. His love was never mine. He loved his money more than me!”

All looked over at Samuel who was busy with his phone. With a nod to Eric, he went back to imputing numbers.

“This is just some fucked up bat shit crazies,” Sookie said as they gathered up their belongings, some with bodies tossed over their shoulders, and hearing the doors unlock headed out the door and onto the elevator.
Eric started singing. *”Tonight I’m gonna call my friends were gon’ go out and have some fun.

Vlad kicked in, *”Way to be all surprised let’s do somethin’ we never done,” as he shook Salome around.

*Make some new memories and make the rules up as it comes,” Cedric and Ian sang, as Cedric slammed Nan onto the floor.

*”And it aint over until the mornin’ sun,” Siggy chimed in as he slammed Compton’s head against the side of the elevator, making a nice crunching sound.

*Tonight I’m goin’ downtown, I’m goin’ downtown

I’m goin’ down d-down d-down downtown

I’m gettin down,” they all sang as they went up the elevator and out into the night.

* Tonight Downtown     Aloe Blacc

Dear Readers,

I am thinking that the epilogue is the next chapter. I need to finish this up so I can get back to my dragon story.

Justice will be handed out (Compton is going to have a close encounter with Miss Juliet, Siggy’s  vampire cat) and I think perhaps I see love on the horizon for Talbot. Not just  the cheap-assed grave robbing kind that Russell handed out….lol…

I am sure there is an abundance of mistakes…oy vey…

But thanks for sticking with me and reading!