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She’s a Brick House   Chapter 5   Epilogue

 The characters of the Southern Vampire Mysteries belong to Miss Charlaine Harris. No infringement on my part is intended. The characters on True Blood belong to Mr. Alan Ball. No infringement on my part is intended.

I have no BETA, editor, or other such charming person. All mistakes are my own.

 This story is rated M.

 “Yes,” E. Witch looked up from her drunken haze, missing her magic the most at times like these. Love…fools!   “He really does love her. And she him,” she sighed as her head came up from the bar and with teary eyes watched the two do the dance of the forlorn. “He wants what he wants and she is so determined to have what she wants and who believes that love deserves a chance and a half?” she hiccupped.

In a land without fear,

In a land of the Were,

They wi­­­ll be scoffed and mocked and laughingly cheered.

At one time, I could get behind that,” tequila fumes wafted up from her mouth. Eyeing the flickering candle, she drew back a bit. That flame looked like it wanted to lean in just a bit more and set off the gases that were hovering around her. Burned at the bar instead of at the stake…she thought not as she repositioned herself.

“Damn, I loved being evil. I loved everything about it. But mostly I loved putting on blush with the pulled off wings of just hatched hundred year butterflies and picking my teeth with the beak of a baby humming-bird.” Sniffling, she was lost in the moment of her memories.   The thunder, the lightning, the storm that shook you to the bone and scared all things that dwelled inside her doors while she would ride the night and scream her discontent to the warring sky. “Damn, I’m maudlin,” she hiccupped. “Soon I’ll start crying over what was and I’ll get all self-pitying and over emotional and…” dabbing at her eyes, she started to weep. “Stop it,” she sighed as she put her finger into the shot glass and pulled out the last of the best drink she had ever licked past her lips. Once upon a time, she had been something to be feared, rocks thrown at, the evil eye sign a matter of pride to her when it was cast her way or painted on her door. Now she was just anyone’s drinking buddy. And apparently she drank today with one who was responsible as she watched Mrs. Pigg mop the floor and clean the bannister.

“Why me?” she sobbed as the belch moved from her belly and up her throat and into her mouth where she once more savored the magic elixir that had calmed her nerves and brought to the surface in bold letters the fact that she was fucked. “They should be lovers,” she thought as she listened to their voices echo with the thunder. “And if I still had my powers, I would deny them their love as they battled to overcome all the putrid gossip and untruths that would puddle before them. At each step, they would wake and know failure lurked in the cesspool of their relationship and that what they thought was tenderness was just a word used to judge a cut of meat. The Were and the oldest daughter,” she smiled, “they intrigue me. And perhaps, I have enough residual maliciousness left that I can still be malevolent!

What is needed here is a spell,

Evil pounding where their hearts do dwell.

Something to tell of their love and their might and their need.

But without all the spark and the fire in their hearts,

Corruption of the flesh vibrating out of the orgasm that bleeds!”

E.’s voice trailed off as she closed her eyes again and thought about the long walk home.

“I miss my broom,

I miss my spells,

I miss my magic lore.

I miss my strength,

I miss my mystical link,

I miss the millennia when evil was all that I wore…

There is a reason they call me E. Witch,” she sighed as her fog filled eyes opened part way and she burped an earlier round of tequila. “Evil…Evil…Evil…a name I deserved and it was worthy.

Barkeep…” she began and then sat up straighter, her eyes now focusing on what dazzled amongst the stains, wet spots, and maybe an ant or two that ran amuck on the top of the bar. “Well, would you just look at that,” she giggled as she pushed her finger through the glitter on the bar that pulsed with the beat of the lightning. Sparked with the roll of the thunder. Absorbed the pulse of all that sat in the room. “Someone lost their magic…and I found it!”

Picking up a straw, she put it in one nostril, closed the other off with her index finger and was up out of her seat and sniffing in the goodness of a scale’s weight of lost, uncut, one hundred percent pure recycled magic! Her toes grew longer as the magic started at her feet, moving upward as it lengthened her legs. Her vagina grew tight and exquisite as the goodness swirled there and then began its ascent toward her upper body! “Ack-k!” screeched out as her bosom inflated and then the sparkle was racing down her arms, lengthening her fingers and wrapping her wrists in chains and jewels and bracelets! Then the enchantment shot back up and out under her armpits and into her neck where she felt jewelry form around her neck as the sparkle then infused her face and tingled all the way out to the ends of her hair, which now hung down her back to the floor!  Damn! Was that a crown of some sort of the top of her head? What the fuck was she wearing? It was gossamer, spun starlight edged with the glow of the moon that dappled her proud, thrust out breasts and lily white throat; her skin was no longer coarse and brittle, peeling like cheap paint after the first winter’s freeze. Now it felt like silk so soft that had been washed in the tears of the Rain Fae, who was, she realized, working overtime tonight!

“Woo-hoo!” she pumped her arm in the air that shimmered with thousands of lights reflected from the jewels wrapped around her youthful, bare flesh. She was back in the biz!

Wait one…she shook herself all over as the tequila dissipated and was replaced by the nectar of honey suckle and the first morning’s dew. Just whose biz was she back in? “Not the evil biz”, that thought clawed its way past the visions of fields of strawberries ripe and heady in the summer sun and laughing waterfalls as she felt her rosy cheeks flush at the thought of the happiness that surround the two lovers who were now sitting on the settee by the fire.

“Oh dear,” the smile covered her lips while outwardly she sighed, her breath calming the air currents as the storm brokered the last of its discontent as starlight began to filter through the clouds, painting love knots and hearts as shadows on the ground.   Knowing that this was hers alone to correct, her path was clear. “Those two need a fairy godmother.”

“No,” Pam choked out, her eyes wide, her head shaking no! “No they don’t. Honestly Samuel,” she dabbed at her eyes. “Just leave them to their baser, bestial instincts.   Let him do her there on the floor in front of the fire…with the peanut gallery cheering them on and tossing coin for the entertainment.”

“Oh fuck and the lack there of,” Eric sighed.

“Knews it,” Lafayette nodded. “Seens glitters on a bar, befores.  Man said his name was Bud and paid us to keep its on the bar. ‘Members that, Tara and Miss Sooks? There was somes over the tops weirdest of the weirds that night.”

“That’s right,” Tara snapped her fingers. “Folks we did not know wearing LSU beanies with ear flaps pulled down and talking about fireflies; they kept showing up that night, ordering Bud Light’s and insisting we put a pinch of that glitter in their beer and wanting to know if fireflies were trainable. Then they would chalk their initials on the bar, leave a nice tip and be out the door.”

Everyone was thoughtful as they eyed the stack of fairy tales sitting on the table, thoughts buzzing around the room like hungry bees settling on honey.

“Huh…” Pamela was off somewhere inside of her head as Eric sat quietly reflecting on past events, as well. There had been one or two in his long life that were…well…something.

“Ahhh-h-h-hm-m-m-m,” Samuel cleared his throat. “As I was saying…”

“So much in love,” E. twined her hands together and a bouquet of flowers grew. “But they need a bit of an adjustment,” she felt the sorrow in her heart that felt like a million raging bees at the insults that would be leveled on them. Things like…”Do you think he likes the way she squeals suuuu-eeeee when she comes or does he do her just for the bacon?” That just would not do.

Standing, the glow that encompassed her spread out to the entire room, freezing everyone in place.

As she approached, she could see who it was they needed to be. “Greetings and salutations and many blessings on those who know that love crosses all barriers.”   Placing a hand on Can-Can’s and then Jacques’ face, she smiled at the lovers as their faces unfroze and then the rest of their body was once more theirs. “A Were wolf and a pig,” she rubbed her nose first with Can-Can’s and then the Were’s. “I am here to enhance your destiny. To make the ordinary, sublime. To create harmony and leave a reminder of who and what you are.

Jacque,” she spoke his name and the bells throughout the land began to chime, “for the two of you to truly be together and to work though life’s mysteries, I change your matrix and your fate. You shall wear the Were only on the night of the full moon. The rest of the nights, you shall be human.

My darling Miss Can-Can,” she smiled at her as star dust settled on the pig. “With your lover’s heart, you shall walk with him in his Wereness. You shall be pig on the night of the full moon and embrace human the rest of the nights.

When you carry his child, you shall remain as human until you give birth to this gift of life. What say you?” she queried to them both and was not disappointed on what was in their eyes.

“Yes,” Can-Can’s voice was full of wonder.

“Yes,” Jacques responded, his voice deep and full of happiness.

Standing, E. backed away from the couple as millions of lights streamed into the room and danced around the couple. As it was absorbed into their skin, the wolf and the pig fell away, and there sat the human lovers. He was the blond male to her blonde female. His strength of muscle and sinew to her curves and delicate features.

“You have much to discuss,” E. bowed her head to them as she floated on the river of light that now ran beneath her feet. “Be at peace and know bliss,” she blew them a kiss and with a wink and a smile she was gone.

“Lovely and oh so kissable,” Jacques nuzzled his face in her neck as he pulled her up onto his lap.

“I love you,” she sighed as she wrapped her arms around him and her mouth found his, hungry and claiming him for her own.

The lovers were lost in the eternal embrace of completeness as the night passed and the light brought them to a new day.

And Can-Can and Jacques lived happily ever after.

The End.

Samuel was very pleased as he opened his notebook.

“But he kissed her and there was frontal rubbing,” Pam pouted.

“As humans,” Samuel chuckled. “Not as Were wolf and pig. I was most specific.”

“Well just damn! Do you want cash, check or just deposited straight into your account,” Pam sighed as she checked out the million dollar each richer group and then frowned at her maker’s brother.

“Seriously?” Tara sat back in her chair.

“A bet is a bet is a bet,” Eric grinned. “Tara, you owe each of us fifty, which Samuel can take out of your account and put into ours if you don’t have the cash.”

“No,” she shook her head, “I don’t have two-fifty on me.   I can get you the cash at the ATM, if you want.

Or,” her eyes went to Samuel, “you don’t mind the transfer?”

“Even for that small amount I charge a bit, that would be five dollars each transaction to do so internally.”

“Okay,” she was still nodding her head. “That will teach me not to gamble. Paying that extra twenty-five dollars is a good lesson.”

“Samuel, if you would do the honors, for myself and Pamela, as well,” Eric bowed his head.

“Do you always bet on the outcome of these?” Tara asked.

“Not always,” Sookie smiled. “Tonight was a first with money but from the look on Eric’s face, very possibly not the last,” she laughed. “I think he wants a rematch.”


Dear Readers,

Well…Brother Samuel, I would never bet against him.

On a personal note, I am doing much better. Sorry to take so long on the update. An IV for the CAT scan infiltrated my arm (I have small, ropey veins that like to push needles out, which it did) and the contrast for the CAT blistered the underside of my right upper arm. Great…big…blisters. And some small and medium-sized ones as well…

The burned area has been healing but painful when anything would touch it. Makes for some comic and not so funny situations. Such as you really cannot have company when part of your upper body is nude and your deeply disgusting arm is perched above your head enjoying the fresh air. Trust me, nobody wants to see that… LOL…

Much, much better, today. Can actually wear a soft cotton t-shirt.

Sigh…healing is good. Bland diets suck…still…

As always thanks for reading and your well wishes. And mistakes, I am sure there is more than one or two. More of that “sigh” thing.