The characters of the Southern Vampire Mysteries belong to Miss Charlaine Harris. No infringement on my part is intended. The characters on True Blood belong to Mr. Alan Ball. No infringement on my part is intended.
I have no BETA, editor, or other such charming person. All mistakes are my own.
This story is rated M.
The Diplomatic Pouch Chapter 7—Day 5
When Sookie came out of the bathroom, he said, “I’m going to shower but I am not yet ready for bed. Let’s go get my laptop.”
When they entered the living room, Sookie reached and put her hand on his arm. “There is someone outside,” she said. “They are over by the shed. Wait, now they are moving out into the woods.”
“Human or other?” he asked.
“Other,” she replied.
“They still there?” he asked.
“No,” she replied. “they are moving out to the woods. I am gonna’ load my rifle and shotgun. Get the shells from under the coffee table.”
“Perfect,” he replied as he got out them out and put them on the table and started re-loading.
“You ready?” she observed as he picked up the bottle and her rifle.
“Yes,” he replied. “Let’s go take a look.”
“You think those gators are still out there?” she sounded wistful.
“Hard to say. I did not tell them to stick around.”
“I was just hopin’ maybe they were under the front porch,” she smiled. “But when the guys come to pour the concrete in the mornin’, Rosco and Bosco might hold up the work site just a bit.”
“Just a bit,” Eric grinned.
There was screaming coming from the woods! A male!
They each had a weapon and ran out the door and onto the porch.
The woods had gone quiet except for the wild thrashing coming from the underbrush and then he screamed at the top of his lungs.
“Give me back my shoe, you spawn of Satan,” was yelled, followed by some reptilian roaring and you could hear running through the underbrush.
Eric and Sookie looked at each other. “Compton,” the word left their mouths at the same time.
“Just what the fuck?” Eric asked as the woods became quiet.
“His family used to own a home across the cemetery. He was a traitor and the locals burned them out. Guess he finally came back around. They don’t own the land anymore. His daddy sold that from afar to a businessman in Shreveport and now it is unclaimed. A lot of back taxes are owed. About one-hundred and fifty years worth.”
“Well I guess Bosco and Rosco did not go far,” Eric chuckled.
“As much as I like them being up here,” Sookie sighed, “we need to go tell them to return to the swamp. Do you think we should drive them?”
“We could,” Eric shrugged. “It would go a lot faster for them. They did not seem to mind riding in the back of the Caddy. Let’s go round them up and take them home.”
“You, you don’t think they bit him do you? And if they did would they have vampire strength?”
“I’ll sniff for blood before we get too close. If they are crusin’ with vamp blood, they will make a nice pair of shoes because nothing in the wild needs that.”
Both of them carryin’ their weapon, it did not take long for them to find the place of the scuffle.
“I don’t smell blood,” Eric said and then trilled a note that made Sookie scratch at her ears.
Not much longer and two gators appeared. Both of them chomping on a new chew toy.
“Time to go home,” Eric said to them. “You have had your fun. Let’s go.”
By the light of the moon, they made their way back to Sookie’s yard. Handing Sookie the rifle, he popped the trunk. “In you go, Bosco,” he said as he heaved him into the back. “Rosco my friend, you have down a good night’s work. Enjoy the shoe,” he said as he hefted him in next. Closing the trunk Eric wiped his hands on his jeans. “We are a go for launch. Let’s get them back.”
“I don’t normally see this,” she said as she watched things flit in front of the headlights and the marsh give off a slight glow. “I just go to work and come home. I stay out of the lowlands after dark. Don’t do much time here during the day, either.
Most nights,” she was admiring the sky, “the moon has already set. It has a ring around it tonight. That is real nice.”
“For the past thousand years, the only thing I could count on was the dark. It has always been there to greet me when I rise and to see me off to my rest.”
“Did…did you mind?” she asked, turning her body to get a better look at him.
“It was all I had,” he replied. “I did not mean that to sound flippant. But when I lay on that pyre, my friends waiting for me to die; I was offered life and I took it.
If you mean, had I known what it would truly be like, would I have done things differently?”
She could see him shrug. “When you are young, you think you will go on forever. Then I was given the chance to go on forever. And here I am, a thousand years later.
What would you have done, Miss Stackhouse?” he asked.
“Figured somethin’ else out,” she shrugged.
Eric laughed gently. “Sometimes it is just not that easy.”
“I know,” she smiled and then became very serious, “but it should be. Don’t you think? I mean, hey world, I don’t like Plan A or B, show me Plan C.”
“It should be so easy,” he replied.
“Well yes,” she looked at him. “It should be. Our turn is up ahead. Slow down, the curve is a big one.”
Eric turned into the lowlands and stopped. Popping the trunk, he pulled each gator out. “Head on back,” he said as he put each one into the water. Sookie waved to them and called, “Thanks!”
Silently they slid in and started to swim. Turning, they admired the two standing on higher ground.
“Cute couple,” Rosco said to Bosco and winked at them.
“Adorable,” Bosco smiled at them. “Glad we were able to help out.” With a splash of their tales they disappeared under water and started for home.
“That was good” Sookie said as she slid in on Eric’s side of the car. “They did good, we did good, all around it was just good.”
“I agree,” Eric replied. “It was indeed a brilliant idea,” he grinned. “Capture the thief in the act and build your reputation as a bad ass. You are an exceptional bad ass Miss Stackhouse.”
“Well yes,” she replied. “But my gran always said don’t break your arm pattin’ yourself on the back.”
“Yes,” King Eric chimed in. “Break your arm doing something else…and I am referring to…”
It was The Whack was heard throughout the car. There was a low moan of pain coming from Eric’s crotch.
Sookie grinned despite herself. “King Eric, if you were rattlin’ some chains along with that groanin’, you’d be all set. It is past midnight so it is Halloween. Haulin’ gators back to their home is not the trick-or-treatin’ I had in mind. However, listenin’ to a vampire’s penis scream has got to count for somethin’ on the Halloween scale.”
“Don’t worry,” Eric smiled, “the Great Pumpkin shall not forget you.”
“You know the Great Pumpkin?” she asked, surprise in her voice.
“Personally,” Eric replied.
“Oh stop it,” she reached over and pinched him. When she got no response she added, “You better squeal like that hurt.”
“Ow-w-w-w-w,” Eric chuckled and rubbed his arm.
“That’s better,” she said sitting back up. “So you watch more than just the news.”
“Miss Stackhouse, I watch whatever affects humans. The Charlie Brown specials were very popular back in the day. If I wanted to pass myself off as human, I had to understand the conversations going on around me. One good thing I can say about the vampires coming out. I do not give one fuck about what is popular on TV. How most of that idiotic, not fit to wipe your ass with no writing skills came to be on TV is beyond me. Plus, no acting required. Reality TV, gag, putrid and cheap at it worst. And it trends the humans that watch it. This world is turning into a very scary place filled with minds that now emulate trash and take to heart whatever is currently trending. Were shit could be trending…” he gagged, “and there would be postings of it around the world.”
Sookie nodded. “Yes, I know what you mean. I never watched TV so when folks would ask me if I had seen such and such, I would just shake my head and say I don’t have a TV. I read. They would look at me like I was crazier than usual. But Lafayette would invite me over when his momma was having a good day and we would watch the Charlie Brown specials.
And I have people want to stop me at work, mind you, and show me their dog doing tricks on Facebook…” she rolled her eyes. “Their brains are six-second sound bites. Could not string a complex sentence together if their life depended on it.”
“Hear! Hear!” Eric answered with enthusiasm.
“Is, is he okay?” she nodded her head sorta, kinda, toward his crotch.
“Just ignore the occasional moans of pain from King Eric. He is an attention hog. I have seen him weep tears just so the lady would feel sorry for him. Do not fall for his tricks. He is a charming rascal, but a rascal nonetheless.”
They exchanged pleasant conversation on the ride back. Pulling in, before Eric could kill the lights Sookie was leaning forward and for a better look and then she was yelling! “That rat bastard! That lower than Were shit ass wipe! Would you look at what he has done to my base work! Drove his truck through it!” The tears were starting to form, frantically she wiped at them.
“Drive me over to Jason’s. I am going to drag his ass out and beat him to death with the stock of my shotgun! If that skank is there, I am dragging her ass back to her husband and with my gun up her ass, she is gonna’ tell him just exactly what she has been doin’.”
“No, he is not worth going to jail for…or having a guilty conscience about, which I am sure you would later. Your time will come and it will be glorious!” He assured her. “And the skank, well, skanks always end badly,” he nodded and from King Eric she heard, “Amen.”
“How…how do you know that?” she wiped her eyes, again.
“Because dragon’s can see the future and I can see you giving him his comeuppance. We dragons, we also sleep with one eye open, just in case, you know, there is nudity.”
“Amen,” King Eric replied, again his voice dripping sincerity.
“Really?” She sniffled as he helped her out of the car and then smiled at him.
“Really,” he smiled at her. “Let’s walk up and take a closer look. It appears that he just drove down the middle. That’ s a plus. Tomorrow night I will hire guards with rifles to sit out here and keep trespassers off your freshly poured cement. Shoot to kill I think you said was how your land was posted.”
“Damn straight,” she hissed followed by a big yawn. “That fuckin’’ no good Jason,” she kicked at the ground.
“I need to sleep,” she mumbled as she looked around her yard, peering into the dark corners. “And I don’t see anythin’ else out of place.
I’m good on the couch and I need another shower. I’ve got forest stuff on me and maybe gator slobber.”
“Can do,” Eric smiled at her. “In we go then bed time.”
While she was in the shower he took off his jeans and shirt and put on another pair and a sweater. He was now dressed all in black. He hated being in the back part of the house where he did not have a command view of the killing field. As soon as she stepped out he grabbed her pillows and blankets and followed her into the living room.
“Snuggle in,” he smiled at her when she lay down and he covered her up.
“What’s up?” she asked watching him as he turned off the lights and checked the bullets in both weapons.
“I am wondering just what the fuck Compton was doing around here. Checking out his old neighborhood, maybe. Looking for a human to glamour and then feed, probably. His ass is going to be spread all over your new driveway if he comes back this way again.”
“What are you going to do while I sleep?” she asked. “Do you need me to keep you company?”
“No,” his voice brought her comfort in the dark. “I have this. I am going to work on my laptop. I have turned the lighted keyboard off and the screen is dark to anyone else but me. You get some sleep.”
“Wake me if you need anything,” she said.
“Sleep,” was all he said as he turned on his Mac. Waiting for it fire up he smiled. “Need anything? Why Miss Stackhouse, only your luscious lips while I find release inside your body.”
“Hey Eric,” King Eric whispered. “Are we really going to try sunrise full tilt?”
“Yes,” he responded. “Why, are you nervous? You have been oddly quiet.”
“No, not nervous. Not even anxious. I have just been reminiscing, remembering old times. And I have been just a bit nostalgic. I realized that with this possible, daywalking; you know what I have missed the most? Skinny-dipping in the sunlight.”
“You should have said something, old friend.”
“Would not have done me any good. There was just nothing to be done for it. And it certainly was not your fault.” There was a slight pause. “It wasn’t was it?” he asked. “You weren’t you know, giving Godric that come on look of yours.”
“No,” Eric shook his head. “I was dying when Godric found me. Our only options at that point were death and then the lit pyre or life and live in the world of vampire. Sadly, there was no Plan C. Where we could have the best of both worlds.”
“Oh well, good call then. It is just that I am just not as impressive in the moonlight. I am looking forward to being called the sea monster of the deep, again. As we chase the lady about the pool, the sunlight reflecting off the water and you know, acting as a magnifier and actually enhancing my already bountiful size.”
“What’s so funny?” he asked.
“I had a romantic evening planned just for the two of us.”
“Oh-h-h-h-h-h,” King Eric stood at attention.
“That is now lost to the Were who does not wipe his ass so you can just relax. We are standing guard and I am more than pissed that I cannot actively track Compton without giving myself away.”
“So, we are listening to stealthy,” King Eric said.
“Yes. And if her brother comes back around here, I think one bullet through the brain just about should do it.”
“An excellent plan,” King Eric nodded in agreement.
“Good I am glad to see you have not gone soft on me.”
They both snorted with laughter.
“What are you working on?” he asked peeking out and looking at the screen.
“I am writing up my observations for Samuel about this series of storms and their impact. You know how he likes first hand accounts. He will ferret his way through this and find the next investment opportunity.”
“Will we ever get to see Brother Samuel again?” his voice held sorrow when he asked.
“When Berlin is burned to the ground,” Eric replied. “Until then, it is not safe.”
“But we can make it safe,” King Eric stated, looking up at Eric, “at least for her.”
“We will for Miss Stackhouse, to the best of our ability,” he smiled at his friend.
“Hey, hit us with a snort of the blue agave,” King Eric smiled.
“No singing,” Eric warned. “She needs to sleep,” he said as he unscrewed the cap and tilting it to his lips, had a stiff hit of the Gator’s Finest.
Eric was deep in the throes of listening to the news out of China. He took his headphones off and tuned his ears to the sounds of the dark. There were stealthy noises coming from the woods that made him snort. What a racket was being made! There was a human trying to be sly and sneaky. All those leaves on the forest floor and so many idiots. This cocksucker knew nothing about being covert. Time to teach him a lesson. He felt his fangs snick down. Eric closed his laptop and went to the window. With all that foot noise crunching on the leaves, there was no way in hell it was a Supernatural.
Picking up the rifle, he quietly opened the door and then the screen. Yes, at the far end of the new drive, there stood the dumbest creature that ever walked the face of the planet. Putting the rifle to his shoulder and carefully aiming, he put a bullet in the middle of the cellphone that was being held above his head and acting as a light.
There was the sound of shattering glass, the screaming, the swearing, the running in circles! Ah-h-h-h this reminded him of the last time he was in Paris.
Sookie sat up with a start and came over to him.
“Who is it?” she asked. “That swearin’ sounded like Jason.”
“Very possibly that was our culprit,” he grinned. “Just one thing more to add to your reputation. His cell in no more. With any type of luck, shrapnel from the phone got him as well.”
Sookie leaned past him and peered out. Off in the distance, they both heard the rumble of a truck start. “He probably has Hoyt drivin’ him. I hope not, but that sounds like the rumble of Hoyt’s truck. He put a glasspack on it. What a dumb shit. You can recognize him anywhere.
Probably won’t get back to sleep, now. What time is it?”
“Five,” Eric said listening.
The moon was getting ready to set and it was streaming onto the porch making all kinds of things visible.
“Your fangs are down,” she took a step closer and peered up at him.
“The thrill of the hunt and all that,” he replied, as he was still scanning the area. “Brings out the predator.”
Placing her hand on his arm she said. “You…you really have not had anything to eat since Lafayette offered you his wrist. You doin’ okay?”
“With the new dark, before we go to the bar, I will need to make a run to the service station for a willing donor. So let’s schedule that into our timetable,” he replied as he closed the screen and then the wood door.
Taking the rifle from him, Sookie set it down. “I am available,” she said pulling him down onto the couch.
“Really,” he leaned back from her, “thank you for offering, but not necessary.”
“Yes, it is,” she replied. “This is a hardship on both of us. I know that. And at times…well…,” she grinned, “okay, all the time I like to have my way. But this is clearly a bigger burden on you then it is on me. But I only ask one thing. Please shift to Eric. I need to disconnect E. E. from the Supernatural world. I can’t really do that if he is drinkin’ from my arm.”
- E. was gone and there sat Eric.
“Is it gonna’ hurt?” she asked, watching him.
“I will be very gentle. I will lick your skin first. When I do that, my saliva creates an area that my fangs will recognize as me and when they come in contact with your wrist, my fangs will glide in easily. It will feel like a small pinprick. Then there will be the pressure of my mouth sucking out your blood. When I am done, I will heal the wounds.”
“What happens if you don’t lick my skin?”
“Several things. It depends on my approach. I can still offer a gentle bite, but you will feel it. They will not glide as easily through your skin.
If I am not gentle, then my fangs act as any predator’s would. They want to inflict maximum damage. They want to rip and tear. That is what they are designed to do.”
“Oh,” was all she said. “Okay, I ‘m ready. Go ahead,” she said holding out her arm.
It was dark. She was female. He was hungry. For food and for sex. Carefully and oh so gently he would proceed. The least twitch from her and the seduction would begin. He was not here to seduce her, he screamed at himself. She was not his type and he had to make it through twenty-five more days. The past five had gone fairly quickly. Plus, there was the day walking aspect yet to be explored.
Carefully he placed his hand on the back of her hand and rubbing his fingers gently back and forth on her, he pulled her wrist up to his mouth.
Placing his lips on her delicate skin, he could smell the blood pulsing in the veins that flowed through her wrist, up her arm, down her leg…back up her leg through her heart…
His nose could smell her body wash, the sunshine on her skin, the flowers she had brushed past sitting by the front door. The blood that thundered through her called to him. When his tongue made contact, the taste of her was clean and refreshing. Her skin seemed to melt in his mouth as he lazily rolled his tongue back and forth…back and forth…until his tongue started to thrust against her. She took a deep breath and then he bit. The blood exploded into his mouth. Clean, my gawd, she was clean! And refreshing! Three pulls, four…five…s…i…x…
Everything slowed down as he licked her wrist and felt his eyes roll up into the back of his head.
“You better squeal like you enjoyed that,” she laughed.
“E-e-e-e-e-!” he said in a high-pitched voice as he sat up. Pricking his finger, he rubbed it over the two wounds.
“Hey, just like you said. I barely felt that at all,” she grinned.
“You don’t eat any processed food, do you?” he said as he reluctantly released her hand.
“Not really,” she replied. “I save a lot of money by raisin’ and cookin’ my own. Now that winter is getting ready to move in, I’ll have to buy my meat and vegetables in town. But I only buy fresh and a lot of it is grown here in the South. So it does not stray to far from home.”
“Yes,” he nodded, “you taste very clean. Very refreshing. Humans tasted like that up until the Industrial Revolution. Then the smokestacks spit out poison and contaminated everything. And when the water is polluted, it taints everything it touches.”
“You purists notice the difference, huh,” she smiled.
“Yes,” he nodded his head to her, “we do. Now, sunrise is still a couple of hours off. You need to sleep. I will work and we’ll see if anyone else wants to come out and play.”
Sookie lay down and covered up, pulling the blanket up to her ears. Eric had done something very exquisite to her wrist. She was not fully aware that he was feeding from her until he pulled back.
“Are you always so nice? To those that you feed from?” her voice sounded small and far away as her eyes wanted to close.
“If I pay for blood, I am not. The donors know that it is only a meal and are paid accordingly. I do not take the time to prep their skin. If I am with a lover or a friend like Lafayette offers, then yes, I do.”
Something that sounded like an “O” left her mouth and then the sound of her regular breathing filled the night.
“Mo fo’n Eric!” King Eric peeked out. “Can we keep her?”
“No,” Eric chuckled, “I fear not. I do not think she is the type to be kept. She has a date with her own destiny and I…well, eventually we will be back in the dating business. Twenty-five days and counting.”
Eric took out his phone and sent a text to the construction company details of what had happened. Before the cement could be poured, there would have to be some modifications. “And,” Eric included, “I will need armed guards here tonight. It is Halloween and I would hate for any mischief to happen to the freshly poured drive.”
Standing at the door screen door, the sun was filtering through the trees, the colors of autumn swirling on the slight breeze like a Degas painting.
The workmen were on their way. He could hear the trucks as they turned off the highway. Moments later, they pulled in and everyone got out to assess the damage.
Mr. Bailey came to the door.
“Charge me,” Eric nodded toward the driveway, “whatever to get this put back the way it needs to be. I still want the cement poured today.”
“Who?” Chuck Bailey asked, disdain in his voice.
“We think her brother. He came back later to probably take a picture for his media stream. When he held his phone up as a light, Sookie put a bullet through the screen.”
“Damn,” he chuckled. “That lady has some very serious weaponry skills.”
“No kidding,” E. E. grinned. “Makes for great copy.”
“What?” the contractor asked, confusion on his face.
“For the story I am writing, this will help to flesh out my main character.”
“Oh,” he nodded in understanding.
Eric did not grin. Good, word had passed. Author and most assuredly that he was gay.
“Also, I am not kidding about the guards for tonight.”
“I will ask around and have some names for you by the end of the day.”
“Thank you. I would like to meet them. I am sure Miss Stackhouse would as well. Ten men, if you can, divided into two shifts. I will pay them one hundred, apiece. She has to work tonight and we need to be there before dark. Sam Merlotte will leave his place open tonight until the last drunk stumbles out. We do not want to come home and find all your hard work undone.”
“If only five volunteer, you willing to pay them two hundred apiece? Chuck asked.
“Yes,” Eric answered. “But I want no sleeping or nodding off.”
“I will preach it,” he answered as he turned to go back to the driveway.
“Shithead family,” Chuck mumbled, shaking his head as he went down the steps. “Damn, don’t I know a thing or two about no-good brothers. My little five-thousand dollar cement mixer I loaned him. He took it home and got pissed off at me when he called and wanted framing boards. When I told him no, he mixed the cement and then turned the mixer off. Well, I learned a five-thousand dollar lesson that day. And I keep that mixer full of set cement right next to the office door so that when I go in every morning I am reminded what a fuck-head and liar he is. And just what fuck-heads and liars are capable of.
Good,” he was watching his crews double-time it. “They have the compactors going. We’ll get this fixed, pour the concrete and shoot any fucker who tries to mess with it, tonight.”
Eric stood for a moment at the door. Once more, he could not fully embrace the sunrise. Just damn and oh well….
…but the sun lit up the clouds that were lingering to a brilliant red and it looked like the sky was on fire!
The light cleared the treetops and as it filtered through the leaves; he could not remember such a vibrant shades of color! Reds, purples, orange…like a kaleidoscope of color!
Closing the door, he walked back to his chair and stood for a moment admiring the sleeping woman. “They don’t come any tougher,” he said with admiration in his voice. “Or probably shorter,” he grinned.
Picking up his laptop, he took another drink from his bottle and sitting down, went back to retell the nights adventures as his psycho heroine came to life on the page.
Swamp gas danced on the heavy, humid air. Everyone could do with a break from the heat and the unrelenting sun. Those things that lived in the swamp were no exception.
And there, blessed relief…was it the roll of thunder with the promise of rain?
No…and they all grinned!
Hearing the chug, chug, chug of the small engine….they all knew…it was her car! The night became still and all the predators waited silently for the auto to come to a stop. The big cats had found comfy spots in the lower limbs. The little missy loved kitties and always admired their golden eyes and long, white fangs and left special kitty yummies just for them.
Yuletide had been her last visit and she had come bearing gift baskets of food! Her gators, Rosco and Bosco always looked forward to her social calls. She brought the very best treats. They could smell the blood tonight as she pulled up…
…and the gunpowder… Neither gator cared for the taste of the residue left behind when she killed in such a fashion, but it was becoming an acquired taste.
“I bet she got him right between the eyes,” Bosco said to his brother.
“Naw,” Rosco shook his head, making the tall grass rattle like bones in the wind. “Through the heart. So what’s the bet?”
“Standard bet,” Bosco smiled as he started crawling toward the car. “Winner gets the soft tissue, loser can have the boney bits that are left.”
“Evenin’ fellas, how are my guys tonight?” she called out in joy, getting out of the car. “Brought your favorite. This one is still breathin’.”
At noon the cement mixer showed up, right along with Miss Sookie opening her eyes.
“How we doin’?” she asked.
“Driveway in going in now,” he replied. “We’ll have guards for tonight. Just to make sure no ass wipe drives through it by mistake.”
“Thanks,” she smiled as she stood and stretched. “I could do with a potty break and some food. Damn, I feel like I could sleep ten more hours.”
Grinning, he held out his hand to help her up. “Let’s go take care of business. Bathroom and something to eat. I understand about the importance of sleeping during the day. I am somewhat of an expert. I’ll wake you when it is time to leave.
And costumes should be arriving this afternoon. I think the UPS truck will be able to get by.”
“But I was going as Glenda the Good Witch…” her voice trailed off.
“Oh, you still are…” he assured her.
“And you?” she asked as he sat down next to her.
“Well Dorothy, of course,” he grinned. “And Toto, too.”
It was a good day. Lots of hard work and they got the job done. That was a fucking nice looking drive! Chuck was sitting on the steps, drinking the last of his coffee, waiting for night to fall and his men to return. Ten had decided that they could all use the hundred. The wives had agreed. They would pass out the candy and told the men folk to bring home the cash.
Miss Stackhouse had met all of them, shook hands and said, “Thanks for taking care of my unwholesome business for me. I really do appreciate it.”
He cut everyone loose early to go home, grab something to eat and come back with the long rifle of their choice. “I smell any alcohol,” he had threatened, “and you are fired.”
They all nodded in understanding. They had spent the morning correcting the mistake; he rolled his eyes, yes mistake with asshole intent that was perpetrated on her driveway. He told Mr. E. E. that he would not charge them for the redo. All the men heard him say that and realized this morning that re-packing that driveway, they were working for free! And they were pissed! Which was good. No one should feel commonplace about this and that point was made!
Concrete truck came and went and the drive looked really nice after they worked their magic. As soon as the cement was covered, they all took off.
Except for those that kept their rifle in their truck. Lou and Evan were out back. George and Lincoln each had a side of the house. He had the front. No good brothers did all kinds of shit and it did not have to happen under the cover of dark. “Oh good, here comes Jordy now. Damn, I can smell the fried chicken from here.
Dinner has arrived,” he said into his radio and got up to meet the truck.
Sookie was in her bathroom with her costume box and Eric heard, “I thought you said I was going as Glenda the Good Witch?” He could hear the questions in her voice as she stuck her head out and fussed with her blouse.
“I did,” Eric smiled, “but then I thought it would be so much cuter if we both went as Dorothy. You know, sisters.”
“But this is a bar, not Sunday school.”
“Miss Stackhouse, no one in Baton Rouge knows your face. They would remember your bosom, however. Best just to leave the girls covered up. And do you have a bra that makes you look smaller?”
Thoughtful she ran mentally through her undies drawer. “Sort of. When I play baseball, I have a sports bra. It pulls me in a lot more.”
“Let’s try for that one,” he said. “Safer that way.”
“You really think they would recognize my bosom?” she asked as she came out and started going through her bra drawer.
Holding up his phone it became obvious. “This just in from Lafayette.”
There was a photograph of her bared breast area. No face…just breasts. With the caption, “Do you recognize these? If so, contact either Baton Rouge or Berlin.”
“That sucks,” she sighed.
“Yes,” he nodded. “Apparently the hunt for me is in full swing. They want to believe that I died in the blast…but there is a saying in the supernatural world when something good happens…you have the luck of The Viking. They are referencing me.”
“Okay, no girls on display until this is over and they need to be smaller. And to keep us all safe, tonight I am Dorothy. Oh!” she grinned when Eric pulled the ruby slippers from the box. “How did you find them in tennis shoes?”
“Lafayette has numerous resources.
And here are mine, the real shoe, of course, in a size 13.
We don’t need a lot of make up, because the costume carries the night.”
They both got dressed with the bathroom door closed between them.
When Sookie walked out, he was adjusting his wig.
“I need some help with this,” she said, sitting down on the bed.
“Wig cap first,” he said, pulling up her ponytail and securing it in a bun behind her head with a scrunchy. “Next, a bit of a comb, hairspray, then wig cap. Bobby pin times four; two front and two back. Spray again then on goes the wig. The wig also comes with a mesh liner. Bobby pin it front and back to the wig cap and waa-la!”
“You are really good at this,” she laughed. “Done it once or twice have you?”
“Too many times to count,” he replied, no humor in his voice.
Some bad memories, there she thought. You could see it on his face, if only for a moment. “I’m ready and you need to eat,” she said, offering him her wrist.
His face said no.
Arching an eyebrow at him all she said was “Don’t,” as she shook her head in an exaggerated no. “There will lots of drunks there tonight and women wearing very skimpy costumes. Daisy Dukes is very popular around here. Tonight ass-crack and cleave will align and the stars will sing and so shall begin a new year. There will be nude heavenly bodies out in the bushes or maybe on top of a car doing the nasty before and after. I know you have perfect control but there will also be fights and blood. No blood lust, please.”
“Thank you,” was all he said as he sat down beside and taking her wrist, licked the veins until he could feel her heart beating in time to his strokes. Then he bit.
“You had better squeal like you enjoyed that,” she said. She had meant that to be funny. That had sounded pretty serious.
“Eeee-eekkkk!” came out, sounding like a fan-girl.
When he healed her wounds, she got up, not making eye contact. “I’m gonna make a pb&j so my stomach does not rumble nor will I want to feed on popcorn. Sam will have mountains of the stuff tonight on all the tables.” She got as far as the door, hit a wall and bounced back into the room.
“Forget something?” he asked and she could tell he felt better. That was probably because he was trying to muffle his laugher.
“No, I am just standing here facing out and waiting on you,” she chuckled. “Hurry it up,” she turned back and looked at him. That was perhaps a mistake. He was grinning at her. Damn he looked adorable! Even as E. E. dressed as Dorothy! “I need a sandwich and then off to work and you had better not be laughing at me.”
“I am far too polite,” he snorted as he walked toward her. Taking her hand, they swung their arms in unison until they reached the kitchen.
Sookie had a snack, grabbed her purse and declared herself ready.
Opening the door, they both went out. Chuck just stood and stared with his mouth open for a few moments before he realized just what it was he was doing!
“Good night,” E.E. and Sookie both called as they went down the steps and out to the auto. Opening the driver’s door, she slid in then he got in and they were gone.
“He makes a good lookin’ woman,” Sammy said. “I’ll never think of The Wizard of Oz the same way, again.” There were grunts of agreement all around as Chuck’s crew ate the fried chicken and assorted sides. They enjoyed washing it all down with their cold Dr. Peppers and then, as the sun kissed the horizon, they were at their stations, with five resting in the back of their trucks. All of them were thinking about the two Dorthorys that had left here and were just as cute as they wanted to be! Hell yes, they came to their door yelling Trick or Treat, they could have the entire bowl!
Sookie watched him intently on the drive over. He was very comfortable in his disguise. Like wearing a girly outfit with his hair in pigtails happened everyday of his life. Before arriving at Sam’s Sookie giggled and remarked, “Damn, you make a good lookin’ woman!”
“Thank you,” he replied. “I have never done Dorothy before. I’ll have to keep this in my repertoire. I like the pigtails. As a rule, I prefer a woman who can wear a ponytail. That carries a classic, chic look. But these I will have to remember.
I can see Merlotte’s flashing neon sign. And we have arrived.”
As they pulled into the parking lot, Miss Stackhouse was very correct, he observed. There was some nudity being displayed and the sun was not yet down.
Very carefully he was checking out the surroundings. “It’s Halloween, from the way you talked, I thought the outside would be merry with pumpkins and cornstalks.”
“Can’t trust the drunks,” she replied. “Watch out for those two,” as Adam and Eve went playfully by. “Sam tired it the first year he was here. Someone put the pumpkins under the corn stalks to see how long it would take them to catch fire. You know, alcohol, dumb asses and betting was involved. Since then, pumpkins on the inside only. Because it only takes one drunk idiot to spoil it for everyone.”
More cars pulled in behind them.
“Would you just look at this place!” she remarked as they got out of the car. “It is hoppin’ already! I’ll clock in and then the routine starts.”
It was All Hallow’s Eve and Eric was on high alert! He eyed his surroundings carefully. He had yet to have a peaceful one. As a rule, he liked to stay home. But sometimes, that bitch called Fate had other plans.
Clouds were moving around. Crows were calling. Eric was noting that the parking lot was indeed somewhat full for so early in the evening.
As they made their way to the door, he could feel eyes on them and he did not think they were friendly. Walking through the bar and going to the back, Sookie clocked in and they went to work.
Then the sun went down and things went to Were shit…
Sookie was busy…which meant E.E. was busy dodging people as well as she delivered drinks, food and refilled popcorn bowls.
It was nine-thirty and Sookie turned to E. E. and said, “Do you see that older gentleman sitting at the bar?”
“Yes,” he nodded.
“That is old man Taylor. He’s been in the grave for six months. We need to find Sam and get Eddy.”
Sam stood staring at old man Taylor. “Eddy…awwww Eddy is not here…” he said, his eyes riveted on the…the….the…
“Is he a ghost?” Sookie whispered. “Lou has served him his second beer. He paid in cash.”
“Well,” Sam was thoughtful, “as long as they have money. And they don’t seem to be botherin’…” his voice trailed off. “That’s Sheriff Buck…he used to come in here all the time at the end of his ten o’clock shift…been dead for…six years…” he said as the man pushed up to the bar and ordered a beer. “And sure enough, it is ten,” he said looking at his watch.
“Who else was a regular that is now dead?” she asked. “What about that Luke guy, you know the one who crashed his Harley?”
“Eleven-thirty,” Sam replied.
“What happens at midnight, the bewitching hour?” E.E. asked.
“Don’t know,” Sam said, his voice in a whisper. “I am calling Eddy. There was a priest willin’ to sit down with him for a few minutes, tonight. Those few minutes are now over.”
It was coming on midnight and Chuck’s crew was out front, getting ready to change shifts. “Evenin’” the old woman’s voice called.
Turning to the front porch, the light just came on and there stood a woman, the top half of her body through the wood door.
“You all waitin’ on Sookie?” she asked. “I’m her gran, Adele. I like the improvements she has made since I have been gone. It is nice to come home to such grand salutations!” she beamed as she threw both hands up in the air. “It is all just lovely. I been watchin’ a little TV. My goodness! Cable! You all need anythin’ while you are waitin? You want some tea? I can do either hot or cold.”
“No thank you ma’am,” Chuck stammered.
At that time they all heard the truck roar its way around the corner and onto Hummingbird Lane.
Chuck yelled. “Two to a position.”
“Shoot for the heart,” Adele called out as they scrambled to set up and got ready to blow out his tires.
“Shoot for the heart,” they all heard the old woman yelling as the truck spun around before managing to get to the driveway, gravel flying and the headlights went out and the truck kept coming.
A few more thirsty dead had joined the bar crowd. And the closer they came to midnight, the more agitated they became.
Sam had chased some humans away from a table and when Eddy came in, he was ready for him.
Sam had his priest by the elbow and escorted him to the table. “Our dead, the closer we are to twelve, the more unhappy they seem.”
Eddy nodded and set up his altar. When he lit the candles, he began reciting The Healing of the Sick and then he went into Last Rights, sprinkling his oil and water in each direction.
When he had finished, all the spooks stood up, paid their bill and walking past Eddy, nodded to him and walked through the wall.
“Fuck,” Sam whispered.
At that time, Sookie’s phone went off. Listening, she nodded a couple of times and finally said, “I’ll be right there.
Sam, I gotta go. Seems Gran came home, tonight, along with the truck from Hell. I am gonna’ borrow Eddy for a while. He’ll be back. I probably will not. At least, not tonight.”
“We got this,” Sam heaved out a big sigh. “Some Halloween, but it is now midnight. Welcome to All Saints Day. I think I am gonna throw these fuckers out and call it a night,” he said as he opened the door and walked with them out to their car.
“Hey, get a room,” he yelled more than once as they crossed the parking lot.
“See you tomorrow night,” she grinned and then climbed in with E. E. getting in next and closing the door as Eddy got in the back.
“I hope so,” he said as he watched the car drive off.
“Fuck,” he sighed.
“We are,” came voices from the bushes.
“Loren, Cathy, I know that’s you. Get a fuckin’ room!” he yelled as he went back inside.
Pulling up into the yard, as soon as Eric opened his door, she could smell the gunpowder. And it was still hanging in the air. There were ten men sitting on the porch, rifles resting across their laps. As they approached, from the looks of them, they had crossed the valley of the shadow of death.
“You got a bottle of something?” Chuck asked as they approached.
“Yes, tequila,” Sookie nodded. “We’ll be right back. This is Priest Eddy,” she said indicating the small man behind her. “He is gonna set up shop and say a few blessings and sprinkle some oil and water and put things back to rights. ‘Cause if Gran was here, something was sure enough not right.
- E., where is an unopened bottle?” she asked as they mounted the steps.
“Bedroom,” he replied, “I will show you.”
When they came back out, Eddy had his candles going and was once more reciting a healing blessing for the sick and then Last Rights as he oiled her front door.
“Back door next,” the small priest replied as he went down the steps.
Sookie and E. E. sat down on the porch next to them. Opening the bottle, Sookie took a drink and passed it to E. E. then he took a drink and passed it on to Chuck. And on down the line it went.
When everyone had a drink, the bottle was passed back to Sookie and it made another round.
“Whenever you are ready,” Sookie said.
“Well,” Chuck said thoughtfully, “it was a quiet evening. And we were all congratulating ourselves on some easy money. Plus, we didn’t have to be home to pass out the candy.
At around, I don’t know, eleven-thirty or there abouts, a nice, older, attractive lady, kinds leaned out through your wood door and said how nice everything looked inside and how much she enjoyed the new TV and cable.”
“That’s right,” those that had seen her, nodded.
“She said her name was Adele and that she was your gran and did we need anything. Hot tea, cold tea. She was happy to get it for us. Said it was nice to come home to such grand salutations,” Sookie finished right along with Chuck.
He stared at Sookie. “Yes, that it was she said,” he reached for the bottle and had another drink.
“Then, we hear the truck roaring out on the main road and turning onto your street, gravel flying. We start to scatter to our positions and she starts yelling ‘shoot for the heart, shoot for the heart.’
We can all see that he is headed for the new driveway so we start putting bullets into his tires and the front of his truck, thinking we were gonna hit somethin’ vital and at least slow him down.
He slams on his breaks and he starts to cut through the yard and he is headin’ straight for us. We keep firing and he tears through the yard and we can hear him spinning around in the backyard and then he comes back around and is trying to line up on the driveway and we let go with another round of bullets and at this time, Miss Adele she walks out into the melee and yells ‘aim for his heart, aim for his heart’ so we start shooting at the driver.
We know we are making contact because he starts yelling, ‘Fuck one got me, fuck, another one got me. Fuck! That one came close” as he roared past laughing like some kinda demon out of Hell.
Well,” he took another swig from the bottle, “he is heading for the driveway again and turns on his hi-beams. Miss Adele, she is standing there with a shotgun in her hands and she let’s go….kaaaaa—–powwwwwwwww! God Himself heard it all the way to Heaven. And he screams and is cussin’ and I swear he raises a beer bottle in a salute to the old girl as he swerves and is back on Hummingbird Lane with gravel flying and he is yelling, ‘that old woman is a damn fine shot! Shit, almost got me!’ as he is laughing and yelling obscenities. And…and hanging off his closed tail gate, were ghosts of all shapes and sizes, just flapping like your Friday laundry in the breeze.”
“As I live and breathe,” Jordy said. “They are hanging with both hands on for dear life and flapping around,” he made the movement with his hands. “Pass the bottle.”
E.E. took out his checkbook. “Gentlemen, there were ghosts at the bar tonight as well. Eddy did a fine job of putting them to rest. I am writing each of you a check for five thousand dollars.”
“I am so sorry,” Sookie was apologizing all over herself. “I had no idea.
And…and did Gran look okay?” she asked.
“Yes ma’am,” Chuck nodded. “Very much a lady and knew her way around that shotgun.”
Eddy came back to the front of the house. Walking over to them the priest asked, “Do you want me to bless your trucks?’
“Yes please, and maybe some oil for each of us, as well,” Chuck said and they all stood. “We will stand with our truck, ‘cause we are a team.”
E.E. stood and handed each a check. “Just fill in your name,” was all he said.
“Much appreciated,” they all shook E. E.’s hand then Sookie’s as they pocketed the check.
“Miss Sookie,” Chuck pointed toward the drive, “rain is moving in in a couple of hours. I’ll be out in a few days to remove the burlap. Don’t you worry none, the cement can now hold its own. Even if the devil himself was to come rollin’ through.”
“Thank you, once again,” she shook his hand and sat down as he and his crew walked off.
“It’s Eddy’s show from here on out,” E. E. said. “Let’s sit for a few moments, listen to the good words and have another drink of the Gator’s Finest.”
When the last truck left, Eddy walked over to them.
“Thanks for blessin’ their truck,” Sookie smiled at him. “That means a lot to these guys.”
“I don’t think they were Catholic,” Eddy smiled, “but they liked it just the same. Me too.”
“You did good tonight, thanks,” Sookie shook his hand. “Do you want us to take you back to the bar?”
“No, I am going to walk and think on things,” he replied.
“A blessed All Saint’s Day to you and yours,” Sookie said.
“And to you as well,” he said with a bow of his head. Then he was gone, vamp sped.
As they sat on the steps, Eric broke into laughter.
“What?” Sookie elbowed him in the ribs.
“That is so going in the book,” he chuckled. “I would have loved to have seen those ghosts hanging on as the truck fishtailed his way down the road.
“You are out quiet a bit of money,” she sighed.
“Miss Stackhouse, this is great copy. Best seller great copy. Seriously, you can’t make this shit up.”
Sookie nodded. “Do you…” her voice hesitated, “do you think that was Jason?”
“Probably, possibly,” he shrugged.
“How…?” she asked. “How did he escape the bullets?”
“Drugs, vampire blood, dragon blood, Kevlar, the list is endless. Or perhaps a combination of things chased down with vast quantities of alcohol. It could be a one time deal on maybe he is an addict or just damn lucky,” he shrugged. “Hard to say without actually sampling his blood.”
“And the ghosts hangin’ off the back? And Gran,” she felt the tears start. “Gran was here, I wish I could have seen her.”
Putting his arm around her he pulled her in close. “Maybe she stopped by to say hello and ended up defending your home.”
“She always did want cable,” Sookie said through her tears.
“Let’s go inside,” he said as they started up the steps. “It has been a day and a night.”
When Sookie got out her key, they both noted that his arm was still around her.
Opening the door, she stepped in with him right behind her.
“Looks the same,” she said as she turned on the lights. “Except,” she grinned, “TV is still on,” she laughed. “Well, I am glad she finally got to watch cable,” she chuckled through her tears. Picking up the remote she held it next to her heart and bawled.
She was wrapped in a blanket and in his arms as he carried her to the bedroom. “Sleep,” he said to her as he held her next to him. “It is just fine, go to sleep. I am right here, you rest now.”