The characters of the Southern Vampire Mysteries belong to Miss Charlaine Harris. No infringement on my part is intended. The characters on True Blood belong to Mr. Alan Ball. No infringement on my part is intended.
I have no BETA, editor, or other such charming person. All mistakes are my own.
This story is rated M.
The Diplomatic Pouch Chapter 23–Epilogue
Since returning home to the land of the two blue moons, Sookie had lived in a tent out on a field of battle. She was hoping to spare the castle where she had grown up bloodstains and damage.
This is where her parents had lived their happily ever after and maybe, just maybe she might get to as well. Or at least part-time. “Like Persephone,” she smiled. “Maybe half the time here and half the time at the old farmhouse…I think the babies would like Earth. We don’t have blueberries here and those are one of my favorites.”
It was pleasant here in the shade. There had been no skirmishes since the rising of the two blue moons and she was grateful for that…and also saddened. That she had to war at all and that there were those who would still slit her throat if given a chance. Would poison her and not look back. Only forward to their reign.
The quiet was intoxicating. Listening to the brook babble with the rocks in their own language brought her comfort. She had missed the small sounds of living in her own land. Earth was noisy, loud, and overbearing as the reverberations of the planet came crashing in around you. The lightning on Earth would never be able to sneak up on you. It announced itself with a vim and vigor that literally could make you hair stand on end!
The same was true of the rain. It took her years to acclimate to the sound of it hitting the tin roof. Gran had found it very soothing. “No me so much,” she sighed. It reminded her of rocks being thrown onto a steel sheet…the sound crashing in her mind even after the rain had stopped.
Today the flowers were pushing up and blooming. Their song and dance brought a smile to her heart. So many things about her world she had missed. And she had believed that she would die on Earth, return to the light and never experience them again.
Then along came Eric. Bigger than life with an ego to match! He was an ass…an arrogant ass! Bigger than just about anything…and when he linked to her with the lasso, planet earth became quieter and less insane and it felt more like home. “Home,” she felt the sob overtake her! “Home,” she breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth. “Home is a good place to be…except that I am not truly home…Eric…” she smiled. “My Eric, my husband, my king, my children’s father,” her grin got bigger as she patted her tummy.
Eric and his magic…no one had seen magic like that…ever! He carried in him an entire chain of dragon’s magic…reaching back to the beginning of time…it was unthinkable the amount of power he carried inside of himself….and so did his children.
And that was how she had defeated those who had warred against her. With the twins’ magic adding to her own, she was unstoppable! Even she was impressed but she was not surprised.
She had seen raw power in pregnant females. They became more as the child they carried progressed. But she was just at the beginning of her gestation cycle. The twins had taken root after the official I do. Signing the paperwork had set her hormones in motion. Mounting Eric in that chamber had done the rest of it. Pregnant! Her body aching for the gift of life that he could give to her! Her womb snatching his essence and pushing it into her egg! The implantation had been instantaneous!
She could sense them at that moment and their children were glorious!
Thinking of her husband she put her feet in the clear, cool, stream that flowed around her. Wiggling her toes against the rocks, they laughed in glee while she tickled them. “Eric,” she grinned. On a good day the babies’ daddy could kill you just because…and on a bad day…she shuddered and the fish, sensing her dismay, darted away.
Dragons were fierce and smart. But none had ever been born with the Berserker rage and the uncanny intelligence that Eric possessed. It was eerie watching him in her house, knowing how things were going to play out. She realized that was partly because of know you enemy. He was a warrior first and foremost. But he also had the strange way of just knowing…things, stuff, and just maybe her heart. Maybe that was the dragon in him. Or maybe that was just one more mysterious thing about him that they would have fun figuring out…
…because there were lots of fun things about him…yes, sex with The Viking was a top five on that list…she felt her toes curl and her breast begin to leak as she thought about him. Her insides clinched and she moaned as she lightly ran her fingertips across a nipple. Her mind wanted to roam and think of more pleasant things, things in their past. Things in their future!
But first of all, you had to find that fucking off switch. He had to be finishing up with Godric and the Negotiator work and Eric was probably not the happiest person in either realm, either.
She knew she was not. This being without him was…well…those fae who thought she should not be queen went into the light as a sizzling blue light special. No wonder when a dragon’s mate died, the dragon did not live on for much longer but followed them. “I miss him,” she sighed as she watched the Sookie Hawk land in the top of a tree and feed its young. “My heart aches from missing him,” as she ran her finger along the top of the water. “Damn him and his business first then pleasure, mantra!” she then kicked the water and it splashed everywhere. “Just as things were heating up between us, well no Sookie, not now. Look, we have to utterly destroy this bad guy,” she moaned in his voice. “Bastard,” she kicked the water, again. “He was always right, of course,” she sighed.
Looking around her, she knew this was why she was here. She had to put the place of her beginning back into good order so that her life would be in good order. “To each comes a season and it is my season to set this kingdom to rights. I would negotiate if I could with these dumber than Were shit bastards, but no one seems interested in that,” her voice got louder and more pensive. “No, not these ass hole. They seem to prefer fireballs, swords and throwing knives. How can we kill her today? Did anyone try tossing that exploding fireball at her?” Her response was always violent, meeting terror with terror. “I hate warring with my kin with all of my being,” she said to the flutter-by that perched on her nose. “But at times this world is violent and I have to war to retain the peace.”
“Yes my Queen,” the purple and pink flutter-by responded and placed a drop of dew on Sookie’s nose.
“Thanks,” she grinned. The dark was fading. Hearing the song of the sun, she stretched out with her mind, listening to her world waking up.
The sun cleared the horizon and standing, she stretched and welcomed a new day and accepted all of what she was. She was a bad ass and she knew it. That was a part of herself that she knew she had passed to her children. Which pleased her. Because to rule here, you had better have steel in your blood.
The twins would be tough, but once they got a whiff of their daddy…just stand back! When she and Eric passed back into the light, she would never have to worry for her children. They would know how to fight…and win.
“Time to take it on inside and greet the angry villagers,” she smiled. “They have not had a ruler in residence and they like doing for themselves. And I like them doing for themselves. But they cannot enslave others. Nope, nada, nyet. Momma has come home and she is packing some serious heat times three.”
It was a pleasant walk in the early morning warmth of the silver rays of light. She had missed this, that silver sparkle to everything and not casting a shadow in its light. That you could stroll along, truly by yourself without your shadow to stop and chat with those that lived on the ground.
The sunbeams would not turn golden until the life-giving light had completely cleared the horizon and their planet woke up. And the chatter of her world started. “It is like our entire domain is on caffeine,” she mused as the silver light began to fade. Walking along the stone path, the yellow light now walked along with her and all called out good morning to her as she approached her home. “Home,” she smiled as she admired the stone looming structure and its fancy iron work.
Trying the castle main door, it was locked. All the windows were shuttered. There was smoke coming from one chimney. Not wood smoke. Smelled like they were burning cloth.
Her vocabulary from Earth kicked in. “Are you fucking kidding me?” she said with a shake of her head as she pushed on the door and it opened. “You cannot keep the rightful ruler from their home and you had better not be burning my clothes,” she said out loud as she heard things scurrying away into the darkness.
It was dark, as inside the pit of hell dark. But she now came with a perk! She could see in the dark! Who had put up curtains? And rearranged the furniture? Really, like she could not smell that the bench that sat against the wall on the right had been moved to the wall on the left? She rolled her eyes and then maybe rolled them again for the twins. “Oh, so now there is a fucking off switch,” she smiled as she pushed out with her lightning and all the candles and torches came to life and pausing she sniffed…”Who the hell is drinking a macchiato with pumpkin spice?
Don’t do it,” she said out loud, rolling her eyes again. “Do not be that fucking dumber than Were shit piece of white trash…”
There was a snicker from the shadows…then another…
She could hear Eric and his “situational awareness” discussion. Her mate was always the warrior…there was just no excuse for the stupidity that these wanna be’s were showing.
Shaking her head in disgust and with a hint of showmanship, she wound up the pitch and she tossed a ball of blue lightning up onto the mezzanine that overlooked the main floor. “Stay,” she said as she held the perfect snapshot before her eyes of about fifteen of her cousins standing there with all manner of deadly looking devices. “I swear, this is the most I have rolled my eyes since I have been back and I thought three days ago set the record when Felder wanted to negotiate a truce and then tried to kill me with poisoned ink.”
The blue lightning reached out from the ball.
“Take them home,” she said with authority as she watched them begin to burn and paper floated on the breeze from the door that was still standing open. “Into the ball,” she said waving her hand about. “And collect them all. Do not pass Go and do not collect two hundred dollars. Lower than Were shit relatives,” she with disgust as she walked to the massive fireplace on the opposite end of the room. “Were shit,” she kicked at the head on one of her now dead relatives. “They are burning my clothes!”
Shaking her head at the fire, her gaze shifted. Above the fire was a portrait of her parents.
“I miss you,” she said as the tears rolled down her cheeks. “I do not have the grace to do this. I am finding that I can bitch-slap my way through the kingdom, but I do not have the statesmanship, Poppa,” she wept. “I do not have the soft touch, Momma.”
“Yes our Queen you do,” said the multitude of voices.
There were fae of all shapes and sizes standing and flying, filling the room.
“Take the throne,” began a voice. “Take the throne,” the chant caught on and it was carried on the wind, throughout the land.
Sookie smiled at them and removing her cape, her chain mail glistened in the light of the sunbeams that also kneeled before her.
Climbing up the steps to the throne, she sat down and the cheering began!
Raising her hand, the room became quiet. “It is good to be home,” she said as she wept. “So very good to be home.”
After much congratulations and swearing fealty, drinking horns were raised in numerous toasts to her long life.
“Thank you,” she said as the last of those present shouted their good wishes for her. “But I do believe our king is on his way. You may all want to stand back for this. He is not going to be pleased, no, not pleased at all.”
“What was that?” several shouted as a shock wave went through the Fae and the castle as well! The sky darkened and the roaring of the wind filled everyone’s ears but yet not a breeze stirred!
A blast of hot air shot through the building leaving all gasping and most flattened against the floor or a wall! The sunlight reappeared and filled the room but that lasted for only mere seconds. Something loomed overhead, blocking the light and the darkness crept downward as a dragon war cry not heard since the beginning of time sounded from the sky!
The House of ‘all’x’Sowilo once more danced in the crystal violet sky of the Fae! A long-lost son had returned home with all of his family’s magic in his possession and he was pissed! That was evident by the way the purple clouds, which no one had ever seen before, pushed in and out and silver lined tornadoes touched down hither, thither, and yon!
The ground trembled when the dragon landed and with each stomp of his foot he proceeded forward as all those inside the castle quavered as well! What horrible monster was this loosed upon their land? Were they all going to die and end up as vaporous slaves of this soulless beast that terrorized their home world?
From the dragon was a mighty push of will and the massive wooden doors were blown to shards as the dragon’s head came snaking in, those hypnotic blue eyes taking in everything. When that gaze settled on Sookie, she felt her body heat up with want! Woof and gr-r-r-r and…and…! Damn…looked like Daddy had brought it all on home with him! The dragon’s head pushed all out-of-the-way as it twisted its way forward. When it reached the throne, the head came up and was face to face with her. The long teeth dripping poison as a low rumble that was vibrating in the neck knocked all off their feet.
“I love you,” she smiled at Eric and running her hands over his face, she placed a kiss on his snout. Ouch…it was a wee bit hot to the touch as steam and smoke came in small puffs out of his nostrils! “I have missed you. Your children have missed you as well,” as her smile dissolved and tears of joy began to run down her cheeks.
“My Queen…” the head gave a bow and then drew back to the door.
With a royal dragon roar, the castle broke into two pieces and with another battle cry, the back half of the castle, where HRM Sookie sat, was pushed out and away!
Sookie was doing her best not to smile. That smile would just not go over very well. Not with her subjects who feared for their lives…and perhaps rightly so! And especially not in front of Eric who would not see any humor in this at all! Because she had left him on Earth while she and the children left to go to war! And if it was one thing Eric liked, well, that was a fight! Great big ones that went on for days!
So instead of laughing at her present situation she got creative and did the next best thing! The two halves of her home were now about one hundred feet apart. Wiggling her fingers, just a bit, grass and flowers shot up and the beginning of a lovely garden was in the making!
Which was most excellent, because there was a dragon riding the thermals and screaming his discontent and from the looks of things, he was coming in for a landing in five-four-three-two-one…!
Arriving in the field was the largest, angriest, incensed 80 tons of fire-breathing dragon that the land of fae had witnessed! “He is not going to fit in the field,” Sookie shook her head in wonder. “Not enough space between the two buildings to get him all in here!”
As he set down there was another roar and as he began walking towards her the dragon fell away and here came her Viking, in leather breeches and chain mail, carrying the biggest sword she had seen anywhere!
Those that thought to stand between him and her were pushed aside. “Get the fuck out of my way!” he roared.
The small ones that thought to attack him were tossed…and Sookie could not tell just exactly where in the woods they landed. Those Eric’s size pulled their swords and started for him. A tremendous roar left his mouth and the blades they were carrying shattered and fell as dust to the ground. One or two thought to approach him without a weapon! With his force of will, he pushed them up into the sky and held them there. Once he had passed, they fell to the ground with a resounding thud!
All shuddered and crept about and watched as he stormed by. His robe flowing behind him as he approached her, his sword screaming of death and victory!
“My King,” she said standing and stepped down onto the grass. When he stood before her, she kneeled and said, “I am so glad you have come home to us. I believe everyone here knows who you are,” she said with a straight face.
Sookie said nothing, just pulled him down for a kiss.
Eric extended his hand and helping her up was silent as he looked at her. Intently as if searching for the smallest thing that said she did not love him.
Raising her hand to his lips he kissed it. Taking a step forward he raised his arm and plunged his sword into what was the king’s throne. Picking her up, he sat down on her throne with her in his lap.
At that time, several feet from them, there was a horrible clatter as a buffet filled with food and eating finery, a table, eight chairs and a hutch settled onto the field.
“I brought breakfast,” he said smugly as he kissed her hand again.
“Blueberry muffins?” she asked with hope in her voice.
“I believe so,” he replied. “Lafayette had us for breakfast and when I left, apparently I brought his dining room furniture with me.”
“I smell pancakes,” she sighed. “I love pancakes and bacon.”
“I know my Queen,” he kissed her hand again, “might I fix you a plate?”
“Oh!” her eyes lit up. “Yes, please, if you would be so kind.”
“A picnic perhaps?” he said as he stood and put her feet on the ground.
“That would be lovely,” she said as she tiptoed up and kissed him.
“My lady,” he said placing her on the ground and with a bow, he moved over to the food and began fixing her a salver to appease her hunger.
Some miles away, there were three that were madly hanging onto each other as they came spinning in on the back of a tornado. With a thunk and a thud, they were on the ground.
“What are we doing here?” Samuel asked looking around at the trees in the forest. The tree trunks were all a color of blue he did not recognize as belonging on a tree. And the foliage was the color of a deep purple. Lovely, but certainly not like anything on Earth.
“We were pulled in by the vortex,” O.I. responded. “Was there something of yours on the table Brother Samuel?” the king of the dragons asked.
“My calendar,” he said. “I had it out and was making notations for next week…
Lafayette, you obviously followed through because your dinning room furniture was pulled through,” Samuel said looking around.
“Yes,” he nodded. “So, my little man’s, where are we exactly?”
“The Forest of the Mismanaged. You see those trees. They are prisoners. That blue gives it away. These are the mo fo’ers that thought to do wrong and was caught doin’ it.”
“Good to know,” Lafayette nodded. “Now, how do we gets from here to where Eric and Sookie are?”
“That would be the castle. We can walk or we can fly.”
“How far?” Lafayette asked as he watched what had to be a butterfly come up and look him over.
“Bought a day by walkin’ a minute or two by flyin’.”
Lafayette looked over at Samuel. “You want to walk? Might be our best ever opportunity to get a good look around.”
“I could do that,” Samuel replied. “You get tired and I can carry you. O.I., if you would please sir. Lead on!”
The King of the Dragons had a moment. “Thirsty and hungry work, walkin’,” he said as a matter-of-fact. “Did not eat much breakfast. Was lookin’ forward to just grazin’ this mornin’. All mornin’. A taste here and a nibble there.”
Taking a delicate sniff, he sighed deeply. “Our breakfast is sittin’ with our king and queen. He’ll feed her and then they will excuse themselves and those sittin’ there watchin’ their comin’s and goin’s will be invitin’ themselves to the table.
Once they get ahold of the Gator’s Finest…will be all over but the cryin’. That would be us three boohooin’ and starvin’ and be blinded by lack of food and drink.”
“Those smoked salmon crepes…” Samuel moaned and looked a mite bit peckish.
Lafayette’s stomach growled. “Was lookin’ forward to that orange scone with some warm vanilla sauce on top, split open with some orange butter in the center.”
“M-m-m-m-m,” they all three breathed out.
“Get us there, my little man’s,” Lafayette said as O.I. morphed to bigger and his La La fineness and Samuel jumped on board and soared into the now light pink sky; heading for food, frolicking and fighting!
Sookie sat in front of Eric as he fed her from the plate he had prepared. Being a very good husband and daddy-to-be he had selected for her a little bit of everything and she was enjoying every bite…they had just finished off the scrambled egg bake and he was starting on the chocolate/pumpkin low-fat muffin when Salvado, the dumber-then-Were-shit mayor of his village, stepped forward.
A large, booming troll voice called out. “I challenge you, you large, unimpressive, slug skinned, tallish ugly oaf to a duel for the love of our Queen.”
Eric looked over at the male, if you could call the foppish dressed three toed…“Troll?” Eric asked.
“I am so and represent me and mine,” he said with pride.
“Count it down,” Eric replied.
“What?” the troll replied.
“Three, two, one…death to the oaf and the Queen goes to the victor.”
“Oh, well yes,” he stood taller and raised his club. With a sneer he began, “Three, two…” and then he leaped at Eric.
“Cheater!” Sookie said with a shake of her head.
While Salvado was still in the air Eric blew flame from his mouth and a pile of ash fell on the field.
“How about that?” Eric grinned, “no dragon required.”
At that time a…a…Eric took a better look…what resembled to be a herd of wildebeest dressed in top hats and spats came charging in from the left.
“Really,” he said with a sad shake of his head. Pulling his sword from the middle of the king’s throne he waded out into the crowd. Their horns and hoofs were razor-sharp. But they were not as sharp as his sword nor were the as fast as their king. Those that could see their folly and run away, did. The others turned to glitter when they died from his sword.
There was an outcry for justice from one sect of the small flying fae! Eric watched them approach as they took on a formation. Turning his sword to the flat side, he used it as like a bat and knocked them into the woods as well.
When he turned around to make his way back, he could see O.I. Lafayette and Samuel fixing themselves a plate.
“I understand about Lafayette,” he said as he approached, “but my brother how did…?”
“My appointment book,” Samuel grinned and picked it up off the table and put it in his breast pocket. “How goes the war and oh say…what is that charging up behind you?”
“Looks like a giant pocket watch,” Lafayette said as he tasted the shrimp grits, looked skyward and said, “Thank you,” and put another spoonful on his plate.
“Mo’ fo’n,” Eric hissed.
O.I. grinned. “That’s the dragon in you!” he said with pride.
Eric rolled his eyes, Sookie was not for sure if it was because of O.I.’s remark or the fact that he was being attacked by Time. “This scone is lovely,” she breathed out as her beloved walked out onto the field of battle, picked up the troll’s club and with a mighty leap forward he hit the watch dead in the center! The glass cracked, there was a death gasp rattle from the time-piece as Time blew apart at the seam and springs went everywhere!
“Any-fucking-one-else!” he bellowed out into the crowd. “No, then get the fuck gone!” he roared and pushed the crowd back with his will, farther.
Sookie smiled at him and patted her lap. Eric walked over to her and lay down on the grass and with grace and ease. Patting her lap again, he lay his head down there.
“I have to apologize for the way I handled my leaving,” she said gently, as she ran her fingers across his face and then straightened out his hair. “But when you arrived here, I needed everyone to know who you are…” her smiled got bigger. “And,” traced his lips with her index finger. “And I needed you to come storming in with full Berserker rage. I wanted them to know just how mean and horrible you can be.”
He started to speak but she put a finger over his lips. “Eric, when I was a child, my parents were kind,” she said slowly. “Which did not stand me in good stead whenever I would venture far from the castle. I became a moving target,” she said softly. “And I did not want our children to live with that type of fear lingering in the back of their minds. I wanted the realm to know if you raise the tiniest thought of mischief toward our children, your life is forfeit at that moment. I needed them…” her smile dissolved and there were tears in her eyes. “I needed them to see you and what you can be.”
Eric nodded as he traced her face with his fingers. “I understand,” he nodded. “Truly, I do. Who else… he asked rising up out of her lap and glaring at the fae that had crept back up, “do I need to kill?”
“We love stories,” she smiled at him. “All of us. Wars have been known to pause if someone started to recount the comings and goings of the old ones.”
“Our Queen is correct our King,” a little thumb-sized niblet of a fae hopped up and fluttered her wings in front of Eric’s nose. “Most assuredly,” she nodded in happy agreement. “Stories!” she shouted with gusto as the call was taken up and passed throughout the kingdom.
“I am,” he said, his eyes level with the niblet, “looking for some sweet alone time with my beloved. We need no stories or bystanders at this time.”
“No stories!” and you could hear the shock and dismay in their voices.
“And there are no bystanders here my King,” she said proudly. “We are all fae,” she said with a sure nod of her head and all those around clapped their hands and whistled in agreement.
“No bystanders, just fae, no bystanders just fae,” they chanted and danced about!
At that moment Eric happened to catch a glimpse of Samuel out of the corner of his eye, who was laughing his ass off and Eric thought just maybe he was pointing that finger at him!
“Eric,” Sookie said sweetly, “invite them to the picnic. Otherwise, they will never leave. They are curious as to how all that got here and of course, they want to hear the story.”
“Please,” Eric said, bowing at the waist and pointing with his hand toward the table. “Please join us as we picnic.”
A great rousing cheer went up as lines formed and the small niblets fluttered here and there and helped to pass out tidbits to those farther back in the lines.
Eric got back down on the ground and placing his head back in Sookie’s lap, she began to tell him about her parents and growing up in the castle and how she always looked forward to the rising of the two blue moons. “My mother would tell me that there was a moon for myself and one for my husband and that there would be one for each of our children,” Sookie felt the tears forming again as Eric nuzzled her tummy and kissed her there.
Turning his face up to hers, there were several niblets in her hair, each one weeping along with their queen. Looking down his body, there were all kinds perched there, as well.
“Such a lovely story,” King Eric whispered through his sobs.
“Ah-h-h-h-h-h!” was screamed. “He speaks!”
“Please,” Eric said shaking his head, “that is only King Eric.”
“Of course he speaks,” Sookie grinned. “The first time I heard him speak I knew that our king was dragon in his bones. And a descendent of Rand’all’x’Sowilo. For there are stories to the blue moons and back about how his penis did talk and make decrees and bargains with the Horde of the Forgers.”
“You are making that up,” Eric said as King Eric was shouting and congratulating himself from coming from a long line of kings!
“No,” Sookie said with a shake of her head. “All true.”
“Tis true, our king,” all those round about and close to him said with gusto as the words of the tried and true King Eric were repeated out into the crowd. “He is just as his magnificent ancestor was before him!”
“Do not,” Eric said to his crotch as he could feel his penis trying to peek out. “I will whack you,” he hissed.
The fae drew back in horror!
“See what I must endure,” King Eric sorrowed. “Do you see? Clearly I have come home to my own kind and all I get is whacked. If one of you would be so kind as to,” and his voice got louder and testier, “find my knife, I would gut the big oaf!”
“That reminds me of the time,” Samuel began, “we were in Paris. And King Eric saved our lives because he had his knife and he gutted the one that threatened us. In the confusion, we made our escape. If you would like I could begin at the beginning.”
“Oh-h-h-h-h-h-h-h,” the excitement went through the crowd, “a story about our king!” Samuel winked at Eric. They were all enthralled with the telling of one of the most embarrassing nights of Eric’s life.
“Once upon a time,” the Jewish vampire began, “there was a very good Jewish boy by the name of Brother Samuel. That is me,” he said with a grand bow.
“Now, this story takes place in Paris, which is a city that sits on a river. And this city had a secret council of witches,” he whispered as he shivered and looked about. “These are males and females who walk a dark path and wish to harm all, the flesh that you wear and the ground where you walk!”
“Witches…!” they all breathed out and cuddled up closer to each other.
As the darkness fell, Samuel continued to tell his stories about their king and how he came to be…
And Eric, being no one’s fool, silently thanked Samuel and he and Sookie made good their escape.
They were lying quietly on the bed. Eric had placed kisses all over her body while she had wept and told him about the twins. “Tell me more,” he said as he kissed the soles of her feet.
“They both look like their father,” she smiled as he moved up and began kissing her neck and collar bones. “And have your personality as well. Larger than life,” she smiled at him as he licked the tears from her face.
“I have something for us,” he said as he reached under the bed and drew out the box. “The lasso is inside. Are you willing?”
“Of course,” she kissed him.
Pricking his finger with his fang, he placed his bloodied digit upon the box. “For a thousand years,” he said, with a shy smile, his voice earnest and sincere.
Sookie pricked her finger as well and said as she touched the pad on the box, “and a thousand more…”
They both felt the lasso slid into place around their wrists.
“Until death do us part,” Sookie whispered.
“Not even then,” Eric kissed her. “Not even death will be able to keep us apart. I will follow you wherever you go. And if I have to fight my way into the light to be with you, I will do so,” he wept as he looked into her eyes. “You will not leave me, ever again.”
“I will not,” she nodded in agreement. “And at the end of our days, when the light is there to welcome us…if there is a struggle to get you into the light,” she smiled at him, “I will just put you in the Diplomatic Pouch and carry you in myself.”
Eric rolled over onto his back and rolled her onto the top of him. “I will not be parted from you. Do to me what you must…” he said to her.
“Well then,” she grinned, as she slid onto him and clinched her vaginal muscles. “I think I shall just start in this position.”
The loving was slow and sweet. Countless orgasms later, she was snuggled up next to him while he continued to run his fingers through her hair. Rest would come when it would. He was not going to rush into the deepening that was calling to him. As he lay there, he practiced what Sookie had told him. If he just kept to the fringes of his consciousness, he could see the twins. And in his heart he wept at the innocence and the joy that would be his to hold and to love.
There were now campfires that dotted the landscape as Brother Samuel finished the story about Paris. There was much cheering and calling for badges of heroism to be bestowed upon him!
Lafayette sniffed the wind and then sniffed, again. “Popcorn?” he asked.
“Yes,” O.I. nodded. “Corn was brought in by dragons ages ago. Planted and nourished. Most have their own small stand. That is a special treat for story nights. We is up next my big man. Get ready. We will have our corn all hot and tasty and buttered in a minute or two after we has finished our tale. I will go next so that you mays enjoy your corn!”
With a flutter and a grand bow, O.I. sat down upon the story telling rock.
“King of the Dragons,” the whisper went through the crowd and there was great applause! Rising with a grand and flourishing bow, O.I began his story with, “Our great and good Queen Sookie, she said to her great and magnificent king of the dragons on the day of the Umbrage of the Crown, you remembers that day…” he said his voice low and threatening. They all nodded yes, their eyes fierce and frowns on their faces. “She says, my great and mighty king of the dragons. All here has gone to Were shit and it is times for me to bring to justice the mo’ fo’n bad guys!” he shouted with gusto as all those in the crowd stood and howled and banged their popcorn pans on the ground.
“We remember the day of the Umbrage of the Crown,” they all cried their discontent.
“And rightly so. A day in infamy,” he hissed. “Here is what happened,” he smiled a big toothy smile and began his story at the beginning with their queen as a foundling…
…her life in Bon Temps…
…and then her pounding on HRM’s Eric’s car in a city by the name of Rouge of the Baton while their King Eric did not know his destiny and hurried and tried not to dally in her company and be captured by her charms.
“Not captured by her charms…” was twittered and laughed and everyone nudged everyone else thinking how foolish their king had been to think that!
As the story proceed, there were gasps and howling and many rent the night air with their loud and exploding farts of dismay!
O.I. was fluttering in the air, the smoke from his snout shrouding him in mystery. “So there I was, we had kicked all the bad ass in Berlin. Our Queen had popped out to come home to wage war and I, fearless and steadfast am left to explain to our king just what is what…I was terrified! Yes, O.I. king of the dragons had fear eating at my soul,” O.I.’s voice filled the night sky. “I am not ashamed to say fear ate my gizzard! Our king, you saw him…,” and all nodded their heads and shook, looking over their shoulders. “Yes…you saw him as he sent those that challenged him to explain their mo fo’n Were shit to the light.
So there I was, left to do our queen’s bidding. I steadied myself and told him how our Queen had returned to her home world to do battle and that he might have a hard time getting just one of his very large feet in the door.” O.I. gulped and shivered and all others did the same.
“What happened next?” a goblin asked. “Did he murder you? Did he murder you twice? You are looking a bit murdered, O.I.”
“No he did not,” O.I. said with authority. “And he did not, no I say, he did not like what I had to say and he grabbed me by the neck and he said he was going to snap my in two with his bare hands…” a shudder went through the crowd. “I spoke truths to him,” he said placing his claws over his hearts. “And our king saw the wisdom in my words and I am lucky to still be walking the realm of the blue moons….for you have seen his strength and terror…certainly he could have ended me with merely a breath.”
“Oh-h-h-h-h-h!” they all exhaled out in horror.
“Yes,” O.I. nodded sagely. “Our king is dragon in his bones, does not matter on which side of the vortex he stands. And his magic goes all the way back to his ancestor the first, Rand, who found hope and happiness in the Realm of the Cold Moon. Married to his love and begat and begat…” he said thoughtfully. “This caused the dragon and the women’s magic to marry and be practiced by the women of his tribe and this magic was gifted to our king by his grandmother. And our king is mighty and powerful in all ways.”
“Oh-h-h-h-h,” they all looked a bit confused. “O.I,” a banshee cried out, “why would a female do such a thing? Give this woman’s gift to a male?”
O.I. leaned into the crowd and in a conspiratorial voice whispered. “On the human side, our King is descended from kings. His grandmother held the magic for all those women before her, gifted to them by Rand. King Eric’s father did greatly annoy and anger this sacred and blessed woman and to extract her revenge, before she passed into the light, she gifted the magic to her grandson in whom she knew it would grow and be nourished and would become more than even she could envision.”
O.I. looked around. Good, if Eric’s rage had not been enough, he had made believers out of the rest of them. There was nothing but big…round…eyes staring back at him! Some with trembling lips! Which was excellent. Because O.I. knew what he hoped none of them doubted. You fuck around with what was Eric’s and you were meeting the light!
Eric was sleeping and he felt something tickling his ear. Waking, looking around, their bedroom was covered in fae. They were covered in fae! You could not walk without stepping on a fae! Placing his finger next to his ear, he could feel it. There was a niblet tucked in and sleeping there.
There was a quiet conversation coming down from around…he sat up and looked down. King Eric was moving around under the covers and was engaged in conversation with several niblets.
“No,” he said, trying to be quiet and not wake Sookie.
“No!” King Eric sputtered. “No! Push those covers off me and let us have this conversation face-to-face!”
“No,” Eric lifted the covers and spoke to his penis. “No one is going to be chatting you up.”
“Mind in the gutter!” was hissed back. “We are married! I was getting the history of our ancestor, Rand. Apparently his penis could talk as well.”
“No,” Eric replied shaking his head. “I will not have folk coming up and speaking to my crotch. I will not. Keep in mind I can cut you off and grow another!”
“Lower than Were shit,” King Eric hissed back. “You threaten me and I will gut you in your sleep!”
Eric arched an eyebrow at him.
“Oh come on,” King Eric whined. “Please, you big oaf. These are my people! Everyone talks here! I would not have to depend on you for conversation.”
Fae were waking and paying attention to the tête-à-tête. “Leave,” Eric said his eyes not leaving his penis. “All of you. Time to go.” He could not hear any feet scurrying away. Looking up, sad eyes looked back at him.
“Get…the…fuck…out…” he snarled quietly.
“Depart and we shall be down shortly,” King Eric sighed. “The big oaf does not take long…I am pleased though that he can last long enough to please our queen…”
Eric pulled a knife from his gear on the floor and pushed back the covers. Grabbing King Eric by the root, King Eric, at that moment figured since Sookie was pregnant and she seemed to favor his hands and Tongue, his life just might be at risk! “I have done bullshitted my way into serious Were shit,” he moaned. Time to put on his game face! When he started screaming bloody murder, Sookie sat straight up.
“What the fuck!” she screeched along with the piercing wail coming from King Eric as she looked around their room and saw fae jostling each other for a better view. Then she looked over at Eric who had the knife poised in mid-air.
“Take it back,” Eric said.
“Of course, Eric,” King Eric was sobbing. “Of course I was telling lies. I am a bullshitter! This is what I do! You are a magnificent lover. Truly,” he blubbered. “You are the best lover any could ask for, truly. The boys and I, we are proud to be the Northman Triad,” he sobbed as he put cheer into his voice. “I have been so happy to be your boon companion…you know that…we are boon companions…please… I am begging. I have finally come home and my people listen to my stories and laugh at my jokes, actually laugh at my jokes…and please…please…” he sobbed.
“Spare him my king,” Sookie staid Eric’s hand with hers. “Please. He is over come by the excitement…and his bullshit is just the best.”
“Yes,” King Eric sobbed, “over come.” He paused for a moment. Did Sookie just say she liked his bullshit? Oh-h-h-h-h, time to ponder that later. “I am just so happy to be here…home at last,” he sniffled. “Here with my friends…” his voice trailed off. “And my boon companions…” his voice was low and sad, “…perhaps never to see you or Lefty or Righty again. Shall I pass into the light? I do not know or will I be left to rot,” his sobbing started again. “Alone for all of eternity while…” his boo-hooing started in earnest. “…so sad and so alone. To know one minute of home and to be…” wails of grief came from him.
Eric slammed the knife into the bedside table. “Get out,” he said to no one and just that fast, they were all gone. “You as well,” he tapped the one in his ear.
“Yes my king,” was buzzed as the niblet flew away.
“Sh-h-h-h,” Sookie smiled at her beloved as she placed her hand in his. “Listen. The story is spreading,” she grinned, “and getting grander in the telling.”
“Is that O.I.?” Eric asked. “Talking about King Eric pleading for his life? He was not even in here?”
“I believe,” Sookie pulled him in for a kiss. “Everyone knows who you are,” she chuckled.
“Hm-m-m-m,” he replied as he pulled a niblet out of her hair. “Be gone,” he said as he flicked it with his index finger and thumb.
“Yes my king,” was squeaked.
“Wait one,” Eric leaned in closer. “Is that…is that a salt-cellar spoon than has been fashioned into a belt?”
“Yes, my King!” she smiled hugely and bowed. “His La La fineness is such a great and wonderful story-teller, with much kindness and love in his heart he gave his permission that we could take the things that followed you through the vortex and fashion for ourselves possessions of beauty. We have also buried a few of his plates to see if they would grow. And a few elegant pieces of crystal stemware. We have scattered throughout the land the things of his magnificence. As long as something of his is here, O.I. will be able to bring him back to us. And we have very good hiding places.” Her grin got bigger and a pair of long, sharp, nasty looking fangs dropped down. “No troll shall find where his things are secreted! They think to add them to their horde. I think not!”
“And will Samuel be able to return?” he asked.
Giggling she batted her eyelashes. “We took his watch and taking it apart, there are now many springs and cogs of the wheel that are hidden as well,” she sang in a sweet pure tone. There was a burst of glittery fairy dust and in a twirl and a swirl, she was gone!
Carefully Eric looked around. “You think that’s it?” he asked. “The last of our guests?”
“I believe so,” she smiled.
“Is it always like this?” he asked.
“Not like this,” she smiled and rubbed her nose against his. “It has not been like this for an age and a bit. When my grandfather was king, he ruled with a fierce hand and the realm was quiet and the good folks felt free to come and go. To express themselves and their love. To see the love grandfather had for my grandmother. They wanted to share in those moments with them. To see him spin her around the floor and listen to her laugh while she placed kisses all over his face. To watch them dance on the beams of the two blue moons. The folk believed in their love. And that love gave our people the best feeling of all…to feel safe,” she said gently. “They feel safe,” she felt the tears roll down her cheeks. “Because of you…they feel safe.”
Eric held her while she sobbed, his face pressed into her hair.
“Myself as well,” King Eric was crying again. “I know you would never hurt me. That all was a ruse. I know at times I get…get…get…” he was weeping.
Eric took a deep breath and smiled. “…get your bullshit going.”
“Well yes,” he smiled. “And apparently our wife, she likes my bullshit.”
“Do not push it,” Eric warned.
King Eric nodded in agreement. “Please Eric, I need to hear the words. Tell me all is forgiven. You scared me. And well…when I get scared…you know…sometimes…I hide.”
“We are boon companions, King Eric,” Eric said gently. “You have been with me since the beginning. Steadfast and true…but your mouth has gotten us both into trouble more than once. And we are married now. We can never give Queen Sookie a moment’s doubt about our heart and our love.”
“I would never, Eric. I would never,” his voice was sincere. “You know this. She is ours and I would never offer encouragement elsewhere. But…but…” there was hesitation. “I might insult you, though…”
Eric chuckled. Good. They were back to…well, being Eric and King Eric.
There was no need for him to look up. He could hear the rustling of their wings and the sound of the wooden shoes going clip-clop on the floor. The niblet had settled back into his ear and was sobbing. Raising his head, they were all crying.
Smiling at them he said, “Perhaps what we need is some dancing.”
They all sniffled and wiped their eyes and nodding their heads they went downstairs to what would from this day forward be called the Chamber of Joyful Dances.
“My Queen,” he said standing and offering her his hand. He was dressed in elegant attire that flowed onto him.
“My King,” she replied, taking his hand as her clothes flowed onto her as well.
“Would you grace me with a dance?” he asked as he led her on his arm down the stairs.
“Of course,” she smiled. When they reached the floor, she was wrapped up in his arms and they were waltzing around the dance floor.
“You’re barefoot,” he grinned.
“I know,” she nodded. “This Cinderella knows exactly where her shoes were left,” she smiled as he spun her around, dipped her and they were back to the beat of 1-2-3, 1-2-3.
“And where is that? Under the bed?” he wiggled his eyebrows.
“No,” she laughed. “You may not remember but I was barefoot in Berlin. I left my shoes, along with my fears, inside the Diplomatic Pouch.”
Adele Stackhouse stood in the darkness that had just settled over the graveyard. Father Eddy had said good words over Darlin’ Stackhouse. The young lady stood there beside her.
All he had said over Jason’s casket was, “We have only a limited amount of time. Make each day stand for something, or you will fall for anything.”
Adele could only nod in agreement.
“Darlin’, you ready to go home,” she asked the young woman who stood beside her and glowed with good health and a clearness to her eyes.
“Yes Gran,” she smiled. “Has Jason gone on?” she asked.
“Oh yes,” Adele nodded.
“Will we be meeting up with him?” the newest Stackhouse asked.
“No,” Adele shook her head. “No we will not.
So, let’s go along. Leave these humans to say their final good-byes because we have sure enough said ours.”
Taking Darlin’ Stackhouse by the hand, they turned and walked into the light.
It had been a good beginning to the dark. The mourners were here to say their final good-byes and place flowers where they might. There were stars in the night sky that kept him company while the priest filled in Jason’s grave. “Such a waste,” Eddy sighed as he patted the last shovel of dirt into place. “Rest well,” Father Eddy said out into the cemetery.
Sookie and Eric stepped out of the shadows.
“Thank you,” she wiped at her eyes. “Father Eddy, that was lovely.”
“Miss Sookie,” he smiled, “I am just doing my job. And I could find no words of comfort about Jason’s passing. I could only state what I knew to be truth.
“You think Jason made it into Heaven?” she asked.
“Sadly, no. And the reason I say that is because Hoyt saw Adele and Jason’s spirit when Jason died. Jason wanted to come with her and she shook her head no. Hoyt said he saw hands and things reach up out of the ground and pull Jason downward.”
“So he is shovelin’ coal in hell, huh?”
“I believe this to be so,” Eddy nodded.
“Well all right then. That sounds fair,” she sighed.
“You back for good?” he asked.
“Well, for a while,” she smiled. “Eric has a bit of work to do and well…” she paused, “we’ll just see.”
“Most good. I will keep that to myself. Just let folks figure it out on their own. Goodnight,” he bowed and then vamp speed he was gone.
“Did you see her?” Eric asked. “Gran?”
“Yes,” Sookie replied as Eric put his arm around her.
“Your Gran looked well,” he kissed her on top of the head. “And Darlin’, she could indeed be a Stackhouse.”
“Looked enough like us,” Sookie took a deep breath of the pine scented air.
“What are we doing here Sookie?” he asked.
“We are spending the night in that lovely bedroom. And we are hitting the off switch. Just you and me and baby makes…well four…but for now…just us.”
“I like it,” he said as he pulled her in closer and they enjoyed the peaceful walk.
“Why are the lights on in the house?” she asked as they stopped and watched for activity.
“I smell popcorn,” Eric said shaking his head. “No, no and no.”
“Oh come on!” she stamped her foot. “We have hit the off switch. As in I want to get off!”
Eric chuckled. “I can call up a plane. We can go anywhere. I have my passport and,” he fondly touched his breast pocket, “a diplomatic pouch.”
“Would you take me to Sweden?” she asked. “Or to the Arctic Circle?”
Wiggling his eyebrows, poof, they were gone!
O.I. pulled back the curtain in the living room and looked out. “Tinker,” he called out. “You sure upon sure you heard the king say they were coming here?”
“Yes,” the niblet replied as she floated on a piece of popcorn.
The house was rocking! There was some music on and nice things to drink and soon their king and queen would be here!
There was a knock at the door. When Lafayette opened it, Wildie flew in. “I was tucked into the king’s pocket. They are going to someplace called Sweden or the Arctic Circle!”
“The hunt is on,” was called out in glee as all the fae popped out taking their drink and popcorn with them.
Eric opened the back door to the farmhouse and they both went in.
“Finally,” she sighed. “The off button! Last one into the bedroom..” and whoosh! They were gone.
Eric turned carried her across the threshold into her bedroom and then stopped. “No…no…no…” he hissed.
Pamela turned on the lights. “My maker, I have learned from you only the best in sneaking. Now, we have things to discuss. Pull up a chair and let us get started. Godric has questions and who the fuck knows where Lafayette got his happy ass off to but it needs to get back here. Because I am done dealing with the bullshit of the Lord Authority type. And the Lord Authority Judge type. And the Sheriff of Area 5 type. And lots of other blood types I have not had in an age because I am drinking bagged shit due to the fact I have no time to seduce anyone!” she growled.
“Be careful,” King Eric called out. “He is in a mood He was going to detach me. He had a knife at the ready! Our lady saved me from being removed from office.”
“No kidding?” Pam asked.
“No kidding,” Eric echoed. “I am going to have two children. Twins. A son and a daughter,” Eric hissed through his smile.
“Were shit…” Pam pushed past her lips. “That is not fair! I finally get to a point and time where I can have a life of my own…”
Eric stared at her. “What is your point? All I am hearing is nonsensical words.
“Well, my maker, of course,” Pam stood and bowed, “this can wait. This lovely room. Some sweet alone time. Of course, I will leave you two…” and vamp speed she was gone.
“Nice,” Sookie laughed as she eyed the settee. “Now I believe you said something about seducing me on that cute little couch!”
“Well then,” Eric smiled as he unbuttoned the top button of his jeans and tossed his jacket someplace onto the floor. Lying down he beckoned to her with his eyes. When she gasped and he could see the wet spots on the front of her dress, he knew he had made contact of the most delicious sort! And he was deeply and righteously moved as he thought about latching on and drinking his fill.
“I don’t believe we have met,” that low, smooth voice sighed. “Allow me to introduce myself,” he smiled lazily as he ran his hand up and down his chest. Stopping to pinch a nipple, he wet his lips and winked at her. “I am the Lord Authority Negotiator. It is my job to get you whatever…you…want.”
Licking his lower lip a small come hither smile appeared. “And I know what you want,” he wiggled his eyebrows as he held out his hand toward her.
“And,” Sookie said a bit breathlessly as she took a step forward. “Just what is it that I want?”
“Well,” Eric’s eyes traversed up and down her body, his eyes lingering on her lips..then moving up her body…to her other lips. Taking her outstretched hand, he pulled her down to him. “No jewels,” he kissed her neck, “not gold,” through the material he nuzzled her breasts, “not oil stocks or bearer bonds.”
She was moaning. Deep…guttural…! That was a good sign. He had not lost his charm. That was nice.
No,” he solemnly shook his head. “Not any of those things,” as he rubbed King Eric through his jeans.
“Damn,” Sookie breathed out as she saw the tip push out past the denim and was glistening. Then undoing the rest of the buttons, his hand lingered inside as he slowly rubbed the head of his penis and moaned. “You want to go for a ride…” he said slowly as his hips bucked up, and his hand slid down and lightly stroked her through her panties, “on my Diplomatic Couch…”
I had the idea of Sookie as a changeling and Eric as a dragon following her back to the land of the Fae. The big scene in my mind was Eric riding in on this vortex.
The original idea was to poke fun at a lot of fairy tales as the main characters meet Eric the dragon and either passed muster or did not.
With that idea in my head…well…you know how I am about short stories…apparently, I cannot write one. (Please, no snickering or head nodding!)
So, I wrote the back story and we ended up here. Not exactly as I thought but the characters are always in control.
Thanks for coming along with me! You guys rock!
Between now and Halloween and until whenever, I am editing an original work of fiction(I seem to remember taking a break from it to write this short story…snort) …and many thanks to all of you for believing in that dream for me!
However….I have in mind a Halloween short story! Yippee! I think this might be a real short story! (Please, let me live the dream!)
Between now and then I will be posting some photos and maybe a how-to…I am working on some witches to go out in the yard…woohoo! Will keep you posted with photos about that as I put them together…heads up….you are going to need some large, round, tomato cages…
Please know that I am deeply honored and humbled that you would take your time to stop by and read. There are millions of stories out there…many, many thanks for stopping here!
As always, thanks for reading!
Be blessed and be the blessing,