Chapter 25

The characters of the Southern Vampire Mysteries belong to Miss Charlaine Harris. No infringement on my part is intended. The characters on True Blood belong to Mr. Alan Ball. No infringement on my part is intended.

I have no BETA, editor, or other such charming person. All mistakes are my own.

This story is rated M

Joyeux Noël

Chapter 25

It was quiet in the house. Humans were trying to keep vamp hours. “Impossible,” the king of the dragons chuckled, “unless you sleep right along beside them.”

His big man had had a night as well. There was a lot of toasting to the bride and groom and lots of boo-hooin’ as Gran and His La La Fineness sat with a bottle of tequila between them after Eric and Sookie had retired. They toasted their baby girl while they told Scully stories about their Sookie. At times, he cried with pride and also with sorrow, knowing that he was responsible for the hardship she endured.

Gran and his big man had both petted and fussed over Scully and told him that to look at what he had wrought! Their Sookie was an upstanding citizen and had a full and loving heart and was kindness itself!

Somewhere before dawn, the Lord Scully and his Lady had stumbled off to bed. O.I. had tucked his La La in, threw more logs on the fire and then settled in front of the window to watch it snow. Before he was called back to this plane of existence, he had missed out on a lot. “But not much,” he sighed. “Good is still good and evil is still trying to devour good. What the fuck?” he rolled his eyes as he looked toward the heavens. “Glads I am back! Thanks for that!” his voice was very sincere as he then stood and saluted.

Breakfast was put out every morning and available at   eight. Earlier if you requested the time and what was desired. But O.I. liked the buffet that was set out every morning and he liked helping himself. He did not need anyone to serve his drink or fix him a plate. The pleasure was all his as he fixed for himself and a loved one.

As the clock struck the hour, he was downstairs, nodding and saying his hello’s as he fluttered in. Starting with a cup of hot chocolate with a splash of rum he sat in a chair, still watching out the window as he savored the many different tastes on his tongue. The snow was falling at a faster pace as the wind whipped around the chimney.

“Good day to be indoors, all warm and snuggly,” he smiled as he picked up the paper that had been put out with breakfast.

The U.K. Watchman seemed to be the paper that was read in this house. Ian had complained that the other national newspapers were oh-so-very bipartisan and he appreciated that the U.K.W. covered Supernatural events as well as human ones.

“Mo’ fo’n’” he laughed out loud. “Would you just admire the front page headlines!”

 Blizzard Conditions Next 12 Hours!

A White Christmas comes early to the British Isle as winds came howling down out of the Artic early this morning bring it with below freezing temperatures and an anticipatory 12 inches of snow!

“Oh and oh,” he chuckled. “Looks like we done and mades the front page. Who would have thought it?”

Queen Elizabeth the First Marries!

For those that saw Macbeth last night the question looms? Was it Queen Bess? We at the U.K.W. believe so! The ghost of Queen Elizabeth the First married last night during a production of Macbeth at the Globe Theatre. While sitting on the throne, Queen Elizabeth was known to call to court Shakespeare and his acting troupe. She very much enjoyed the plays of The Bard, Macbeth being one of her favorites.

So did she return last night to say her vows to Prince Erik of Sweden? Many think she did and that the Virgin Queen is virgin no longer.

“Oh…most good. Next up is the weather page, with maps and regions done in this pretty blue and links to the national weather sites. The headline governing over all this science says,

Frost King Brings Winter: Gorgeous blond reigns over 12” of snow in London as the front stalls over the capitol promising a white Christmas.”

O.I. merely shook his head. “So muches that can and can nots be explained. I am beginning to see why King Ian makes much of this paper. They embrace all fronts and lets the reader decide.”

Having another sip, he turned to the social page, About London, was the header with the social elite being seen escorted to and from parties held in grand ballrooms and Buckingham Palace.

“Mo’ fo’n’,” O.I. snorted. “We made that page as well”, he said as he began reading out loud in a falsetto voice.

A wedding five hundred years in the making,” he fluttered his eyelashes. “Queen Elizabeth the First picked Prince Erik of Sweden to be her mate. The handsome couple exchanged vows last night at the Globe Theatre with snow and a dragon and his rider in attendance on stage. Vows were exchanged as the handsome pair danced on diamonds of ice that paved the happy couple’s steps. The Bride wore the Ditchley portrait gown and her groom was dressed in his Viking finery. In their white and gold they ruled the night.”

O.I sat back in his chair and fluttered over and poured more rum into his hot chocolate. “I am beginin’ to wonders if I shoulds do a scrap-book for the bride and groom. Might make a fine weddin’ gift. Will have to have a chat with my big mans when he wakes. Gets us some scrap bookin’ materials and several more papers. This could be a fun thing to do with the bad weather.” Turning the page he was met with the headline, O’ to Tread the Boards. “Must be the theatre page,” he mused as he began to read the headline.

The (Snow) Globe: Macbeth—Witches, Dragons and a Wedding

The (Snow) Globe last night proudly presented Macbeth–complete with the full regalia of Witches, a fire-breathing dragon with a dragon rider and a royal wedding…

I thought I went to see the abridged version of Macbeth…instead I was treated to the Bard’s unabridged version of Macbeth and it was magnificent!

There have always been rumors that Shakespeare had written a version of a wedding into each play for the celebration of the marriage of Queen Elisabeth the First. When she did not marry, the pages were removed but not destroyed. Apparently Macbeth’s have been found and were incorporated into last night’s dazzling display of live theatre!

It was brilliant how the dragon and his rider mesmerized the audience with their heartfelt words and worldly sorrows beseeching the audience to be compassionate to one another.

The loving kindness when the Prince and HRM spoke of their love.

And Macbeth, never holding his head in shame as he knew the curse he had brought upon himself and owning it.

I had come to see Macbeth played out on the Globe’s stage. A seasoned cast giving us the tragic play as Shakespeare intended.

And indeed, we saw it as Old Willy wanted us to experience it!

The cast and the crew were exceptional!

The weather was an integral part of the show as well, setting the mood.

And as always, many, many, thanks to those in The Pit! You did all of us proud!”

O.I. was nodding his head in agreement. “Twas a fine show,” as he turned the page and there it was—“Lordys lordys, do wish my big mans was awake to dish the dirt with. Looks like I done found the good stuff on the gossip page!

 Titillating Rumors! Who was seen with Whom on the Town?” his voice was all aghast!

After last night…forget the rumors– it is true…Queen Bess did have the hots for the Crown Prince of Sweden. Did she interview him for the fill position? From the looks of things and from my angle I could see the bulge through his tunic that was dancing in his pants…! Hmmmm, me thinks maybe she did! She could have had her choice of any heir to the throne in the known world…but the ladies always side with the big blond with the Swedish accent. Prince of the Tall, Blond and Take me to Bed You Big Stud won the night and the maiden fair. Apparently being a 500 plus year old queen of England can have its perks!

Oh and looky….the cheat your fate page…,” he chuckled.

“Your Daily Horoscope—

The day in general for all signs—Today is a good day to stay in doors and bake cookies. Magic abounds and tis handy to have a small sweet about for the wee ones that are sure to be stirring as we get closer to Winter Solstice. And check to make sure your cat’s whiskers are clean. The dead roam during this season. Your cat can sense their vibration with their whiskers so keep the spider webs off and be at the ready with your camera for that all important selfie!

During this season it is always a blessed time for marriages so forget June and embrace the cold and the candlelight. When darkness falls and cold embraces all, tis little left to do but enjoy the pleasures of the flesh.”

Fluttering back over to the buffet, he just brought the rum back with him. There was no one in the room. Picking up the decanter, he held it to his lips and drank. “Lordy…that is what was needed. Now, moving on,” as he watched the snow blowing past the window for a moment and then turned the page.

I do like the advice column,” he said as he saw the header for that page. “Let us see just what help is need from Ask Anita.

Dear Anita,

I am in love with a royal.”

O.I. rolled his eyes and “tiched” under his breath. “Shocker! Don’t I knows what that is like. Poor souls thinkin’ they want what I has. They gots no idea the responsibility that goes with that kind of power. You don’t be livin’ your own life. You serve others. I don’t think this missy knows what that means.

This poor soul needs to be put on the path. Glads there is someone doin’ her this favor for free,” he said with an all-knowing frown.

I know it is fruitless,

“Yes,” he nodded “and yet here you are.”

And he does not know I exist but I have to tell someone that if it were possible I would stalk him. Yes, I admit it to the world. Stalk…him…and if given the opportunity I would kidnap him and make him my love slave to include drugging him if I had too.

“Mo’ fo’n’,” the king of the dragon’s whistled. “Desperate psycho much?”

It does not matter that he has been dead for over 500 years. This could be love!

Do you think I should invest in a Ouija board?


Do I Have a Ghost of a Chance?

“Okay Mistress Anita,” he continued to read, “do not let me down. Both barrels and a swift kick to the butt!”

Dear Ghost of a Chance,

You have the proverbial cliché of there not being one drop of ice water in Hell kinda chance. (And if there was just one drop…can you imagine the brawl?)

“Seen that brawl,” O.I. chuckled. “Ain’t pretty!”

We all saw the big blond Swede last night at Macbeth. We all saw him looking at his bride. Ghost or not, the guy is in love. The kind we all aspire to and dream about. Wish for, long for, hope for.

“Tis a fact,” O.I smiled thinking about Eric and Sookie. “Theirs is a love that will last through the ages.”

Until death do us part takes on a whole new meaning for those two.

“Tis a fact,” he wiped the tears from his eyes. “The King of the Frost and his Maiden of the Stars. Since time began, their love warmed us all!”

Be warned! Queen Bess sees you looking at her man with lust, it will be off with your head!I suspect the same could be said if you tried to contact him on the ethereal plain. Because once a queen, always a queen! I am sure QEI could arrange for…oh let’s see, falling houses…pianos, something large enough to flatten you when it fell out of the sky as you passed by! Just say good-bye to your ruby slippers and hello Hell!

Kindest regards and I have given your address along with your missive to the police,


“Why Mistress Anita, you sounds like a woman I would love to date! Clearly you are of the no bullshit persuasion,” he nodded in agreement. “Love those kind of women. They can get right in there next to my hearts tellin’ it like it is. No fluff, no flavor of you poor thing…just truths. Preach it,” he nodded. “Just because you want it does not mean it is yours for the takin’!

That was some ugly business. Time to move on.

Next we have…

From the Front Pew—Church News

Thousands attended mass this morning through out London in anticipation of the end of times. Apparently it just takes the rumor of one dragon appearing on stage with Macbeth to achieve what many archdioceses have not been able to accomplish—grow their number over the past decade.

Good people, there is no reason to panic! I have read Macbeth and there is no dragon!

Be blessed and be the blessing!

The Greater London Archdioceses Council

“Seriously,” he snorted and then moved on down to the next article.

The Greater Coven of London would like to invite The Dragon, the Dragon Rider, the King of the Frost and his lady, the Maiden of the Stars to worship with us every Wednesday night from nine to midnight. Visit our Greater Coven of London webpage at for sites of worship.

Blessed Be

“A bit better,” he nodded his head. *“There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, then are dreamt of in your philosophy.

Oh…the sports page,” he mused as he settled in to check the scores.

The London Quidditch team is recruiting for Chasers, Beaters, Keepers and Seekers. No experience with the game necessary. Being able to fly a broom and/or defy gravity a plus. Supernaturals, humans, dead royalty, and dragons welcome.

“Well just damn,” he grinned, “seems we are being recruited.

So much for the news,” he mused as he passed by the Want Ads—then he stopped, turned back to the Want Ads page and read:

Wanted: A dragon, any size. Familiar with the complete works of Shakespeare a plus but would be willing to tutor. Fire breathing a must. Salary negotiable.”

What the…?” O.I. arched an eyebrow then continued on to scan the page. Then the unspeakable caught his eye!


Hello tall, dark and drop-dead erotic! Why let your meat loaf? I have £ ££ £’s!

Very interested in dragon rider sex. Must prove bona fides and be able to show dragon upon request. Not adverse to a three-some. Dragon must provide condom.

Mo-o-o-o-o-o’ fo’n-n-n-n-n-n’,” O.I. whistled. “That is just some kinda nasty. Forget the decanter. Where is that bottle of tequila? I needs a lots of somethin’ to wash the taste of that nasty out of my mouth.”

 *William Shakespeare. Hamlet. 1601.

Dear Readers,

Shortest of the short. But I wanted to do the newspaper reporters look at the night before. (I started out as a journalism major. Sometimes I just cannot help myself.) This was just a small sampling of different perspectives as I am sure there is more. I did not even make the advertisements! That Ditchley Portrait dress has got to be for sale someplace!

And would they be so bold as to have an ad for dragon  steaks? Yikes!

But my time this week was limited…that RL thing. It was all good…it keeps you busy…just not busy writing!

I will be gone later this week through next week. I might not have anything to post next Monday. I will get a couple of days writing in before we depart the area and will go from there.

Up next is Gadford LaRue, Count of Auvergne-Rhone-Alpes’ party. Don’t you know his friends call his Gaddy. Eric calls him Gadfly…!

Should be interesting and maybe easy to write. His La La Fineness should be in full critique mode. I think I can just about guarantee that…go La La, go La La, go La La….!

As always, thanks for reading!

Be blessed and be the blessing,