The characters of the Southern Vampire Mysteries belong to Miss Charlaine Harris. No infringement on my part is intended. The characters on True Blood belong to Mr. Alan Ball. No infringement on my part is intended.
I have no BETA, editor, or other such charming person. All mistakes are my own. This Story is rated M.
I know folks like to dream about what you think your life is going to be like when you get older. Tara Mae would talk about movin’ away from her mom and Lafayette would have grand dreams of goin’ to Tulane and bein’ a lawyer.
I had this small idea that I just wanted to graduate from high school. Honestly, I could not get past that. Then, at sixteen, I started workin’ for Sam and helpin’ Gran out with the bills and I thought that was good and besides, I did not dare dream that I would have someone to love and who would love me in return. Even as I grew older, I could not see or imagine that into my future. All I could see and was happy to have was my waitress job.
And it was not like I did not like variations in my day-to-day life, because I did. But that would be a trip to the thrift store is Shreveport and the thrill of findin’ somethin’ that was new to me!
My senior year I saved my tips that summer so I could go to Six Flags Over Texas with Tara and Lafayette to celebrate Tara and I graduatin’. Then I followed on by savin’ them for a year so I could go with them to Sea World.
Then vampires came out and I could make a little extra money actually checking out folks for Eric. Of course, since Bill was my manager, he took his cut of the money before taxes and expenses were taken out. He did not bother to tell me that I would be picken’ up travel, hotel, my meals and his bloodbags and a new fuckin’ suit for him every time we worked a job. What an asshole!
Dream bigger, Sookie, Eric used to tell me when we would work together. I remember one time getting so angry at him that I stomped my foot and told him I did not have enough money to dream bigger. That the nice suit and shoes I was wearin’ had belonged to someone else first. That my curlin’ iron and hot rollers I had bought at a garage sale. That my car was older than me and I would cry when it would break down because that was money I would have to earn by working double or triple shifts.
At that point Bill had piped up and said, ‘Sook-ahhhhh, bein’ needful and poor is good for you. Keeps you home and available if Sam should have extra hours for you to work.’
‘You cheap, fuckin’ asshole. You use my advance money to make sure you have your new suit for that job made to order,’ I snarled at Bill.
I have no idea what the conversation was that followed that pithy confession of what Compton thought of my life, because I got up and stormed out. But it was not long after that Bill wanted half of the interest that Eric gave me for a late payment and we got into it and he started callin’ me Northman’s whore and my time with Bill Compton was done.
You know, I think I started to dream big when I went and told Eric I was thankful for him. As much as I did not want to do that, it felt good to be honest. Not only with him, but with myself as well. I don’t know what the preacher is goin’ to put out this month, but I know I am going to face it, head on. And call this year a success because I was more than the challenge. I always have been, I just could not let myself believe it.
How things have changed…hallelujah! I believe, I believe, I believe!
So here I am sittin’ around the livin’ room after a wonderful meal where there was more toastin’ to Eric and I and now we are listenin’ to Eric’s dad tell stories about him when he was little. And I am here with my brother and Gran and three dragons hootin’ and hollarin’ and clappin’ our hands and wantin’ more! And my daddy-in-law is happy to oblige, and the stories get bigger as The Death is passed around.
Apparently Eric has always been larger than life. This ego of his has always been healthy and did not start when he was turned vampire or even declared a man. I think maybe it started before he was two and he picked up his father’s knife and killed a rat that tried to take a bite out of a baby puppy all the while yelling ‘Mine! Mine! Mine!’ until everyone came running and the rat was minced very fine, dog food.
Now there are warriors with healthy egos. If you will whack on a rat before you are two, you will do some serous whacking when you get older. The totem in Eric’s clan was the bear. So at the age of ten, as part of the manhood ceremony, Eric whacked on a bear.
‘The bear hide’, his dad said softly, ‘was what helped to keep his mother warm while the poison robbed her of her life.’
‘I am glad it brought her comfort,’ my Eric responded. ‘I would have killed and skinned all the fairy godmothers if that would have brought her any easement of her pain.’
I am beginning to see how all of this rolls into his badass reputation as a vampire. Dragons have perfect memories and untold strength of will and physical prowess. What they did to his mother he has never forgiven or forgotten. Being turned vampire just gave him a new set of friends for him to make believers out of.
But there is that romantic side to him. The charmer. The soft spoken dreamer. The man that I love and I believe that he loves me.
I am sitting here next to him and from time to time the fire flashes off Eric’s mother’s wedding band that now sits on my left hand, third finger.
His dad insisted that it now belonged to Eric’s bride and then Eric insisted that I wear it. Especially after we did, Repeat after me in Old Norse while standing out in the snow wrapped in a quilt made by my great-great grandmother. Eric then took both my hands, kneeled down in the snow and kissing my ring finger he slipped it on me and said, “I love you Mrs. Northman…”
I don’t know that I have yet to stop sniffling and sometimes just crying as I sit here next to him with his arms around me and I get to know him as a child and then a young man through his father’s and mother’s eyes.
It is obvious that his dad loves him and is very proud of him. Me too. I can see where his home trainin’ has translated into the man that I love. I figure this is what I have to look forward to…a home, a husband and children just like him raised with those values. Which happen to be my values as well. And maybe a war or two, I’m not real clear on that just yet. But will there be whacking…of some sort, I am sure…Compton comes to mind.
The night is deepening and comfort seems to be caressing everyone as glasses are emptied and the Chivas bottle is eyed. The purple and silver inside of it looks alive in the firelight. There is enough for everyone to have a taste to send them off to bed.
O.I. fondly patted the almost empty bottle as The Death was passed around one last time.
“His La La Fineness has a good point to make. These two needs to be legal in the state of Louisiana. They is allowing vamp marriages and I just happens to have the authorized tender at home to make this good for tax deductions with the IRS. Do you wants this done before New Orleans or afterwards?”
“Do you want a big wedding?” Eric asked her.
Sookie knew the answer to that as she smiled at him and shook her head no. “My family and friends are sitting right here. The only other folks I know work at Merlotte’s. I don’t know that they would take off work to come to my weddin’. Most could not afford to do so.
I don’t need fancy. I am happy to be the lawful Mrs. Northman right here in my family’s house. The exchange of vows out in the snow…” The tears fell as she continued, “That part has melted my heart into a little puddle. I was so touched that you had wanted the spirit of your mother to be in attendance as well. It was beautiful. Thank you for sharing that part of your life with me. And thank you for blessing your mother and asking her to watch over us”
Look at me,” she sobbed. “I am in tears. Great big, southern girl tears! How do you dare to dream this big?”
“I love you,” Eric said picking up her hand and kissing it. “O.I. if you would be so good as to see Lafayette home, we will have another ceremony and we shall be doubly blessed this fine winter’s evening.”
And that is how I became Sookie Norse Man and Sookie Northman all in one evenin’. In attendance was the snow comin’ down, my family, and the house of my family; and all those that have abide here, standing in attendance. Am I pregnant, yes I believe so, because I have never been able to see the dead, before. Totally new!
It’s a dragon thing, O.I. assures me. The baby is manifesting a dragon skill through me.
To which Lafayette and I both said, ‘What?’
‘So can you undragon me from seein’ the dead? His La La Fineness wants to know.’
Lafayette put on his coat and the two of them were out the door, talking bloodlines, distant cousins and steppin’ up and out so that you are counted and not taken off the roster. I have no idea what that was about as I just caught it as they were leaving.
“Dragons take their lineage very seriously,” ER-erikr said as he looked at Sookie’s puzzled face. “You don’t ever want to be dropped from their family roles, no matter how iffy a situation becomes. Because there is no going back. They may fight, war, and dragon poo your abode, but if you say you are not family, they are highly insulted and so you are no longer to abide as a dragon. You become a cast off. ”
“You think Lafayette has dragon blood?” Sookie asked as she poured herself another cup of hot chocolate.
Everyone in the room was nodding.
“Lafayette looks more like O.I. then he does any relative on his side of the family,” Gran said with a sure nod of her head. “We have been to their family reunions, Sookie. You remember his Aunt saying he must look like his daddy because he did not resemble any of them.”
“Oh yeah,” she nodded at remembering that moment. “That’s right. His momma has never talked about his dad. All she has said was that he was some blue’s singer out of Memphis.”
“Dragon’s can shape shift,” M.E. nodded as he helped himself to another piece of pie. “Take on any pleasing form that will get us laid. And we can wail the blues or whisper the softest of lullabies. Singing…we are born to it and we sound like starlight. Beautiful, clear, majestic notes that can shake the heavens or apparently, get a woman out of her undies.”
“Huh,” Sookie was thoughtful as the door once more opened and the snow swirled in along with a dragon and his rider.
“Good trip?” Gran asked.
“Good trip,” Lafayette nodded. “Gots what I needed. Now I just needs the signatures of the bride and groom, some witnesses, and I will push this to the courthouse once the roads clear or we get to New Orleans, which ever comes first.”
“New Orleans,” Eric made a face. “We’ll leave in the morning. Right now, we need be no where else but home.”
The house had gone to bed and Er-erikr and O.I. sat in front of the fire sipping the tequila bottle Lafayette had snagged before they left his house.
“I want all of his nights to be like this,” the king of the fae laid his head on the back of the couch. “Perfect days followed on by perfect nights.”
The older man’s and the dragon’s eyes cut to upstairs when they heard Eric panting Sookie’s name and then bellowing in a language they did not understand. Grinning, they raised their glasses in a salute.
When all that could be heard was the snow hitting the windows and the popping of the low ember sparks, Er-erikr looked over at his friend, tears in his eyes. “They poisoned her jewelry…”
“Yes my king,” his voice was sorrowful and distant. “They did. Those shitters on life, they knew that she only wore it when she bedded you. Depending on how they wrapped the poison in the spell, your sweat could have activated it, her increased heart rate, or maybe the orgasm itself. Or maybe just touching it caused it to slither out and into her…mo’ fo’n shitters on life. May they answer to The Light after they answer to me.”
On the kings face was loss and confusion. “Who in all the kingdom could write that spell? Would be capable? They would have to know human physiology, psychology…and they would have to know that she only wore the jewelry when we were intimate.” He could feel the anger starting to burn inside of him as Gretta lay in his arms gasping, begging him to hand her her knife so that she might end this…
He felt his heart lurch and the pain lift its head in sorrow. “How do you learn something like that?”
O.I. shrugged. “Women talk, my king. Perhaps she said something in passing to the shitter on life that murdered her. You know, the shitter saying, Our king is so stingy that he does not gift you with jewels. And our queen saying, He is very generous. I only wear them in his company. You could infer whatever you wanted from that and the shitter would know that it ended in sex.”
Reaching for the bottle, Er-erikr refilled his glass. “It would take more than one to work that spell. It would take a dozen different disciplines. And the godmothers are not known for their organizational skills.”
“You reigned for an age and an age before you married. Who is to say when this started?” O.I. shrugged, eyed the bottle then topped of his glass as well. “Perhaps it has been percolating long before you came to power. If you have the time, you lay out your plan and every couple hundred years or so, you advance another part of it. Does not matter who is the king or queen. When you get ready to strike, all is at the ready.”
“They could not know I would have only one child…” he choked on the words.
“Generational curse, my king,” O.I. said bluntly. “The jewelry would keep passing to the next in line until all the women were dead. If there were no heirs left, the scramble for the throne would get ugly in a hurry.”
“I don’t want to return,” he spoke only in a whisper. “O.I., can I just sit here and know the love of my family and not the hate of the kingdom? I just long to do nothing more than play with my grandchildren.”
“My king,” the small dragon fluttered over. “If you do not end this, no matter who steps up to be the next ruler, they will always be gunning for Eric and his family, fearful that they will avenge your death. Or claim to be the rightful ruler. Or that they shall want your personal wealth that they stole…and all the other harpy ugly that goes with those druggies and squatters and shitters on life. The Sookiehawk line will always be at risk if you do not end this. And there is so very much we do not know and still plenty of things we need to find out.”
“I know,” he sighed. “How well I know…” his thoughts were far away. “Is it wrong to love someone so much?” he asked the king of the dragons.
“Er-erikr,” O.I. patted him on the face. “Do you not know? Love is the greatest gift of all.
Now my king, the house has gone to bed and you cannot sit here in a drunken stupor. You cannot sit anywhere in a drunken stupor. I am escorting you home and patrolling fae for a while until you sober up. The house here will be more than fine.”
“Thank you my friend, let us be gone before I refuse to leave.”
The snow was flying past the windows in the penthouse. “Let us be gone before I refuse to leave,” Eric said ruefully as he adjusted the cufflinks. “I hate being here when we could be snuggled up on the couch at home.”
Sookie walked over to him and smoothed down his collar. “It will be over soon enough. And would you just look at this,” she smiled as she looked out the window, “the weather has followed us here. When do you think was the last time it snowed in New Orleans?”
“December 11, 2008. Fuck me running,” Eric rolled his eyes. “I was here during the holy days that year as well. Our queen suffers from what humans call NeoAnnophobia. Fear of the New Year.”
Sookie grinned. “Did you just make that up?”
“No,” he smiled back at her. “Because I would have said she fears she will always have shit for brains. That would be StercoreSerebellumphobia.”
Sookie was laughing so hard she sat down on the bed. “Let’s just go and get this over with,” Eric sighed. “There is the door. That would be Pamela. Get ready and watch her face when I say, Let me introduce you to my wife. Might as well get as much entertainment value out of the child as possible.”
“Married…” Pam kept repeating as she drove them to the queen’s residence in the Jeep. “And you are now dragon…” she would shake all over and even crossed herself.
“Child, you are not Catholic,” Eric hid his smile as he brought Sookie’s hand up for a kiss.
“I heard the Vatican was going to be welcoming vamps into the church rolls. This sounds like the end of times,” her voice was deadly serious. “It is not too late to have a fall back position. I might need one. It might be church…
…married,” she shook all over again. “And dragon…” her voice had a hint of hysteria. “And…and…daywalker…” she crossed herself again and in the merest whisper “eater of food…”
“Child,” Eric leaned forward. “Watch the road.”
“My maker,” Pam was all business as she swerved to miss the stuck Mini in front of them. “You really are all that. Nostradamus, I believe, and the lovely advice columnist Ann Landers talked about this. I see some type of fucked up zombie war in our future. I hope HRM gets zombiefied and I get to kill Sophie-Anne more than once. Good thing I have prepped the armory.”
When Eric and Sookie entered the building, they were met by armed guards who frisked both of them, looked through the bag and then started to leave with it.
“No,” was all Eric growled, his eyes fixed on them as he felt the power flow out from him and into them. “The bag walks with us.”
“The Queen will see you,” was all that was said as they walked down the hall to her throne room, the guards keeping the weapons fixed on them as the bag of jewels clunked along.
They were frisked again, as they stood outside the three hundred year old twenty foot oak doors. The velvet bag was eyed and before anything could be said, Eric spread a little more dragon glamour around and the bag walked in with them.
When the door opened, Eric walked in escorting Sookie on his arm. They stopped half way to the throne and Eric’s eyes swept the room. “My Queen?” he said with a raised eyebrow.
“She is detained,” Andre smiled. “Sheriff,” he smirked, “she will be detained for a while.”
Andre was sitting in a chair next to the throne. His face and fangs showing his anger and hate. “You have things for which to answer,” he smirked.
“Oh boy child that will never be king,” Eric responded, “I do not answer to you.”
“You…” he hissed as he started to stand.
“You know what you have done,” Compton stepped out from behind the throne. “You removed my child’s eyes and they have yet to grow back. And,” he took a menacing step forward, shaking his fist, “you staked me!” he growled in rage.
Eric rolled his eyes.
“Do not,” Compton yelled, “don’t you dare try and demean me! You have stolen what is mine and taken my human to add to your stable. You have disgraced this throne room by not allowing me to pay my taxes and have humiliated me for the last time. You humble yourself before our queen before she allows me to remove your head…that…that…” he took a few steps closer. “That seems to have color…flesh tones…” Bill looked confused. “And a beating heart?”
“What sort of were shit trickery is this?” Andre yelled.
“Ha!” Bill shook his fist at him. “You play me for the fool? You play our queen for the fool? You are a disgrace, your lies…”
One of the three hundred year old oak doors that had stood guard for that many centuries was, literally in the blink of an eye, splinters; and those splinters were now holding Bill pinned to the back wall, outlining his body, while he screamed in pain!
“What the fuck,” was hissed as Sophie-Anne entered the room and all stood and bowed. “Just what the fuck! Andre, can I not leave you alone to greet our guests. And by that I do mean our guests!” she yelled at him.
“He staked one of your loyal subjects, Bill Compton, left him for dead,” her child whimpered.
“First of all, your majesty, if I would have staked Compton,” Eric nodded toward the back wall, “he would have met the true death.”
Well just fuck…that was some nice work! Walking over to Bill, she admired the perfect outline of wooden splinters that held his body pinned. “Get him down,” she sighed, “then get someone in here to remove the outline of Bill’s body from my wall,” she hissed at Andre. “Or better yet,” she eyed the screaming Compton and then her pouting child, “leave the outline there. As a reminder that The Sheriff of Area Five has the bigger dick. But do a window treatment over it. I have humans in here from time-to-time, I cannot have their minds wandering with questions about that when they are here to do business with me.”
Andre was preening. “So I don’t have to call for house service? Good. That is so beneath me. That is Compton’s job…” his voice stopped in mid-sentence as she reached out and slapped him so hard he was on the floor.
“I want a window treatment. And Compton pulled down. See to it.”
“Seriously, your majesty,” Eric gave her a grand sweeping bow, “if I knew I was going to be treated in such an ill fashion, I would have gone to Paris and let Homer throw his shit at me. The King of Paris at least has good cause not to trust me. I am at a loss as to what I have done to offend you.”
“Good point Sheriff,” she grinned at him. “Homer will never trust you again but we were all vastly entertained that winter. Sadly at your expense,” she chuckled.
Shaking her head, she watched as Andrea was pulling out the splinters and re-sticking them in Bill. “I do apologize for their rude behavior. Andre, I spoil him. And Bill…you know how Bill gets. You fuck him once and he thinks he has somehow magically become king.
And in Bill’s defense, the telepath, she did work for Bill.
“Mrs. Northman,” Eric corrected her. “Sookie is my wife. And she worked for me. Bill was her manager as I did not have the time to follow her schedule. He has cheated her out of so much money I am filing a tax exemption through your tax officer.”
“What?” she sputtered.
“Yes,” Eric responded. “I should be getting a tax refund this year.”
“What?” her voice went up several octaves. “You can not claim a tax refund!”
Andre was indignant! “See,” he screeched as he grabbed Bill by the collar and yanked him down and threw him onto the floor. “Do you see! This is how he treats you! He thinks to do as he pleases without any regard to you my queen!”
“Well Were shit,” was all Sophie-Anne could think. It was easy to read the room. There were vampire smirks everywhere. Some were openly grinning. This had been a colossal mistake. As much as she wanted to scream at the top of her lungs, she would not. The Sheriff of Area Five was waiting to see what she would do. And he had options and she did not.
Bill had come to her with his sob story and Andre had convinced her to let them take a swing at The Viking. There were those present tonight that had backed Compton. Believing every word he said. He had inflamed the guards and they had sworn to avenge what Northman had perpetuated upon her kingdom. She had laughed at Bill but had secretly wanted Eric humiliated. Because…because…oh fuck…look at his face! The Sheriff of Area Five had had enough…he was going to inform the world of their arrangement.
“My Queen,” you could hear the disgust in his voice. “I call you that out of a courtesy to you and so these other cocksuckers would not think to follow my lead when I called you Sophie-Anne.
I purchased Area Five from the Náshit’ush Indians when I first arrived here centuries ago. When you took up your crown, I then purchased it from you with the understanding that I would guard the Northern part of the state. I sit upon my own tiny little kingdom and guard your Northern boarder. I have had several handsome offers to turn my back so that marauders could cross over and pillage and kill at will and burn your residence to the ground.
And,” he pointed his finger at her, “you should not trust Homer either. He has offered me one hundred times what I paid you for that small bit of acreage. Just so he could taunt you and cause you to never rest peacefully, again.
I pay you homage, I pay you taxes, as I agreed to do. Since it is the holy season, I even brought you a gift. You call me Sheriff to my face and you meet me at the door like I am a thief and a criminal.”
“Bill said,” she began and realized how weak that sounded.
“Bill said what? That he could move my wife in here full time?” he hissed.
Sophie-Anne sat down on her throne and closed her eyes. “Yes,” she finally answered him. “Yes,” she sighed and met his gaze. “Honestly, Eric, I did not know that she worked for you. That Bill was only her manager. I did not know. Please, can we get past this? I need you to stand tall and guard my northern boarder. Nevada has been making threatening dance steps in our direction. He has an emissary here, tonight, wishing to discuss owning gambling riverboats on our great and powerful Mississippi.
And besides,” she smiled at him, “you have brought me a gift. And I do so wish to hear the story about how you now have skin tones and your heart is beating.
Please,” she motioned to a guard, “a chair for Mrs. Northman. This shall be grand entertainment.”
The room became quiet as Eric began his story. “This past week, I was off the coast of Cuba,” he began, “on the New World side, searching for treasure. In the mid 1600’s there was a fleet of Spanish ships filled with gold headed back for Spain that danced with a hurricane and lost. I pulled my charts from that time and tried to determine just where exactly the hurricane could have possibly blown them too.
And so I kissed my lover good bye, told her I would bring her unlimited wealth and headed out.
Well, there I am off the coast of Cuba, walking around the island and at the southern tip, I see a glimmer and then I see another glimmer. And then another glimmer. Since I am not finding any boat wreckage, the captain has figured out he is in some deep were shit and has started throwing the treasure overboard.
I have my bags at the ready. All I can think is that I will never have to work again as I start to pick up what is off the ocean floor and am following it to where the ship finally went down.”
Eric raised his bag and rattled it, grinning.
“Then the oddest thing happened. There were currents coming at me that should not have been there. I thought maybe an earthquake could produce such as effect but I was wrong about that. Because swimming towards me was Neptune and his twin brother, Poseidon.”
“What?” Andre laughed. “We are not ignorant Eric,” he sneered on the name. “Neptune was Roman and Poseidon was the Greek counterpart.”
“As I was saying your majesty,” Eric continued on, “they were swimming toward me. And they were pissed.
‘All that is in the oceans is ours,’ they were bellowing at me. “And that trident that you always see one of them with. That thing is real. And it shoots some type of electrical charge that lights up the ocean and can be seen on satellite. I took my bag,” he grinned at her and shook it around, again, “and started running, vamp speed. And these two are just as quick. I made the continental shelf and was headed to shore, leaving the deep behind me when I happened to look back and both of them were standing in water waist deep with their tridents raised and yelling profanities and started directing those lightning bolts at me. Before I stepped out of the water and onto the shore, I could feel it. Snaking its way along in the water, pushing those currents out from it. And then, just like a snake, it bit me. It started at the souls of my feet and tore through my body until it discharged out the ends of my hair. I am now a different shade of blond. More gold then yellow, my lover says.”
“Yes,” HRM said standing. “I can see that now that you mention it.”
“This,” Eric dumped the forty pound of gold and jewels onto the floor at her feet, “this was all that I was able to escape with. And my Queen, I brought it to you.”
“Oh come on…!” Andre yelled and stomped his foot. “Where is the rest of it?” he sneered. “You owe your Queen…” and then he stopped. Sophie-Anne had her hand around his heart.
“Child,” she began in an easy voice. “He owes me nothing. We apparently owe him back tax money. Do you see him,” she shook Andre around a bit to make her point. “Take a good look at him. He has flesh tones, a heart beat. Look…at…him…” she shook him with each word. “How do you explain this? Like Frankenstein’s monster, these gods electrocuted Eric and re-ignited his spark. We are lucky that he still walks among us.
And besides,” she hissed at him. “He holds our northern boarder without any expense to us. And he brings me gifts. And if he wanted more wealth than you can imagine, he would just fucking sell Area Five,” she bellowed in his face. “And retire,” she added with a smile.
“A table please,” she said to a guard. “And place my newest crown jewels upon it so that we may admire them.
Eric, you are so kind to think of me at this time of the dark season. You know how I loath the coming of a new year.”
“Yes my queen,” he bowed to her. “I was hoping this would help to lighten your mood.”
“Thank you Sheriff,” she said extending her hand. Raising it to his lips, Eric placed a kiss there.
“I am indeed blessed to have such a loyal sheriff,” her eyes flitted around the room. Clearly, she thought there were some who could show more loyalty!
“The governor will be here in an hour. Please, take your lovely bride and dance with her out in the gardens. The heaters are on and the snow is falling and magic is in the air.”
The rest of the evening Eric and Sookie mingled. Here a thought, there a thought, everywhere a thought thought! O.I. was running interference for her and would filter out the background noise when she dropped her shields and would just listen in to one. There were two slimballs that walked in with the governor. She listened in to all three of those ass wipes!
When Pamela picked them up in front of the residence, Eric and Sookie got in the back and they motored off.
“How did it go?” she asked. “There is all kinds of chatter on the band width. Really….good….stuff. Did you really pin Compton to a wall?”
“Yes,” he nodded, “I did.”
“Damn, would have paid a lot of money to see that,” she sighed. “Oh well, next time. And his Mrs.” Pam turned to look at here. “What did you think of tonight’s little on-dit?”
“That was some fucked up shit,” Sookie was shaking her head. “And the governor, knew he was crocked, but I had no idea he was trafficking humans.”
“You put that in place?” Eric directed the question to Pam.
“Yes,” she nodded. “The authorities have been notified. I heard the FBI was waiting for him at his residence. Put him in handcuffs and hauled his ass out of there. Film at well, right now,” she chuckled.
“Excellent,” Eric responded. “Take us home.”
The band Gone to Ground had played this dark at the queen’s residence and the boys in the band were now back in their hotel room. Moe, Curly, Shep, Herman, Larry, and Jules had thrown all the locks on the door and had drained the mini-fridge. Fuck the cost!
Curly kept getting up and going over to the door to listen and would recheck the locks. “No one,” he would nod, “is out there.”
“Glad this room has not windows,” Shep kept saying as he crossed himself.
“Does not have windows,” Moe would correct him. “Will you stop that shit! Speak the Queen’s English and conjugate your verbs in the language we are speaking.”
“H-man,” Larry was sitting next to him on the couch. “We are all spun up here….”
“Hey, speak for yourself,” Moe snarled. “I am…”
“Boo!” Curly was behind him and whispered in his ear.
There was a yell and Moe was up on the ceiling. “That shit is not funny,” he fumed as he floated back down to the couch.
They all pointed at him and blew raspberries.
“You keep the fuck quiet and maybe the H-man will speak words of great wisdom. Or fuck, bullshit by the bucket loader. We are in a world of hurt, here. Please Herman,” Larry’s voice was full of distress. “Please.”
Herman opened his eyes and looked around the room. “Just what the fuck do you want me to say? That the piece of dragon jewelry around Mrs. Northman’s neck did not raise its head and blow us a kiss. Is that what you want me to say. Because if it is…ta-a-a-a-a da-a-a-a-a! There I said it.
But if you want the truth, of which I only speak, you fuck wads know it did and that is why we are holed up in this room with the locks thrown and Shep reciting The Lord’s prayer as he counts the rosary on his fingers.
Seriously,” he drove an imaginary stake through his heart. “If that little dragon wanted in here, I don’t think an electronic anything is going to keep him out.”
“Do…” Jules found his courage and spoke up. “Do you think that was part of the Frankenstein curse the water gods threw at Eric?”
“I have,” Herman settled back onto the couch, “been thinking about that. And honestly, I think so. He could pass for human. I mean…and I say this with all reverence, if it woke up his heart and his skin tones, what else did it wake up?
He’s married. She’s human. Maybe she wants kids. Maybe, just maybe Eric found a way to wake his little swimmers, up, so he could be a dad.”
“But how would he know this?” Jules asked.
“Viking,” Herman replied. “Shit, he’s been on the water for over a thousand years. Who knows who and what he has met. He is always wheeling and dealing.
Case in point. He is here and it is snowing. I am going to give you all a moment to think about that.”
Herman watched as eyes lit up all over the room.
“Good, follow along with me. I am under the impression he did not take his Mrs. So how do you protect what is yours while you cannot be there to do so? You keep everyone inside. And how do you do that? Do you threaten them? Do you bribe them? Hell no. White out blizzard conditions. Especially keeps the Weres at home. They would freeze their balls off in snow like that in Area Five. And did any of you go out in that maelstrom? Hell no. No humans out and moving, what is the point?
It has been white out blizzard conditions since The Sheriff,” he snorted, “king of his own fucking area,” he was laughing, “left town to go in search of treasure. Well yes…snowing in his area…everything locked down tight….nothing moving, nothing out of place. This is the way of the Viking. Was he out of town…fucking yes…as in way out of town….searching for treasure for the queen my ass. Searching for those two water monsters to zap him…maybe yes.”
“So…so…” Shep was figuring things in the air with his finger. “So how did he meet the dragon?”
“Look fuckwads, Eric is a Viking. There is a reason they call him The Viking. Vikings ran with dragons back in the early days. Probably been with his family since the beginning of time.”
“So,” Moe was hooked and then gave up and yelled, “you don’t know that!”
“Shut the fuck up!” Larry threw a pillow at Moe and hit him head on. “I am learning some dragon history, here.”
Looking at his mates, they were all nodding in agreement.
“And beside,” Larry was smiling. “If you think it is all bullshit, you can just leave and go sit at the bar.”
Moe slunk bank down into the chair. “I’m good,” he replied. “H-man, please continue.”
“As I was saying,” Herman was lost in thought, “you have only to look at the jewelry and the architecture of the Viking age and dragons abound. That idea had to come from somewhere. Besides, I saw one, once.”
“What?” echoed around the room.
“It was the dark I was turned. As I lay there dying, before my maker showed up, there was a dragon, bigger than a mastiff but not as big as a VW bug, walking through the dying. He was looking for someone. You could tell by the way he would keep sniffing the wind and the ground. When he would turn a body over, he would look relieved and then walk on.”
“No fucking way,” Moe laughed. “How does a dragon looked relieved?” When no one laughed with him, he said, “I’m sorry. It’s just that my Grammy woman said that when she was a little girl, during a Viking raid, her mother hid her in the trees. She said she saw a dragon land and carry someone off the battle field. She used to drink a lot. Maybe that was why…” he sighed.
“That would make sense,” Herman nodded to himself. “If it is your ancestral dragon, he would be there to claim his own. To fly his wounded to safety and to take his honored dead on to Valhalla.”
“Just fine,” Moe rolled his eyes. “I was a believer until that part. You think a dragon can carry a dead into what would be the Vikings version of Heaven?’
“It’s a dragon,” Herman, closed his eyes and went back to writing music in his head. “I think he can do whatever the fuck he wants.”
“Frankenstein’s monster,” they all whispered around the residence. “Eric has found a way to beat the odds.”
“How many,” Sookie chuckled as they sat around the fire and played back the evening for Gran, Lafayette and Pam, “do you think are headed out into the ocean in search of The Twins?”
“There shall be many righteous expeditions, especially once word passes.”
Pam’s phone dinged. “And it has,” she chuckled. “Dwayne wants to know if you have any old charts you would like to sell?”
“Tell him I bought them off e-bay about fifteen years ago,” Eric laughed.
“Oh-h-h-h, good one,” Pam laughed in glee. “I will tea stain some old parchment and get busy. I see shoe money in my future!”
The week passed. Eric and Sookie continued to waltz their way through HRM’s residence. Listening here and there and watching the crowd watch them.
“Have not seen the Bobbsey Twins,” Sookie smiled.
“Oh,” Eric grinned as he twirled her along the upper balcony and then down the stairs. “I am sure they are busy.”
“It is fucking dark down here on the ocean floor,” Bill kept complaining.
“Oh look, there is something glimmering over there,” Andre said with glee. “Oh Were shit,” he hissed. “It is a righteous expedition with fifteen head lamps coming our way! Everyman for himself!” as he took off across the ocean bottom floor.
Compton did the only thing he could do! Run!
When he finally made landfall, he knew dawn was not far off. “Go to ground,” he drug his weary body out of the water. “Dig in and wait for this to pass and then…haul my ass back to New Orleans and report in. I fucking hope Andre meets the sun.”
“How did you know Bill was going to be here?” Sookie asked as they watched him come up out of the water.
“O.I. hit him with a little dragon juice. Bill thought maybe it was a bug bite. Actually it was a dragon tail slap. Better than GPS. I don’t have to carry anything electronic.”
When Bill started to dig, he knew he was no longer alone. The fact that Eric had his hand around his neck and pinned onto a tree was also a big indication. One thing for sure, Bill reasoned, he was smart, he could figure things out.
“Seriously Bill,” Eric grinned at him. “Which witch sold you the gooey goody?”
“The what?” he chocked out.
“What she painted your body with. Did she have a name?”
“You cannot kill me,” he shook with laughter.
“Yes, it is only good for one healing of the hole,” Eric shook his head. “Did you honestly believe that they would give you something that would make you immortal?”
“Fuck you, Eric! I deserve to live forever!”
“Sookie, the stake please,” Eric smiled at her.
“With pleasure,” she nodded and pulled it up out the ground where it had been waiting for this moment. “I made this myself, after the first time you cheated me.”
Eric took it from her and with a smile, plunged it into Bill’s heart. There was no blood spatter, just a glittering of fairy dust that vaporized when it hit the ground.
“Good to know,” O.I. said. “Whoever it was that cast the spell on the goody, they also wrote in that it would neutralize when that body died. Leaves no trace that any fae was involved.”
“The shit just gets deeper,” Sookie said as she climbed onto Eric’s back. “Let’s get breakfast somewhere and maybe walk around Miami and…and…is that a snowflake?” she asked.
“Haul ass,” Eric grinned. “We cannot take down the economy of south Florida as well. We’ll breakfast in N.O.”
The house is still in re-shuffle mode. And Jack being the retriever that he is, wants his ball chasing time. I write when I can…sigh…
As always, thanks for reading!
Be blessed and be the blessing,