The Curse of the Eclipsing Blood Moon—Chapter 4

Banner The Curse of the Eclipsing Blood Moon

Chapter 4

The characters of the Southern Vampire Mysteries belong to Miss Charlaine Harris. No infringement on my part is intended. The characters on True Blood belong to Mr. Alan Ball. No infringement on my part is intended.

I have no BETA, editor, or other such charming person. All mistakes are my own. This Story is rated M.


The Curse of the Eclipsing Blood Moon

Chapter 4

The doors at the front of the club swung open as Sookie approached and the sailors in the boat on the door knocker all bowed to her. “Easy journey, Fair Lady,” they called out to her. “Thank you for blessing our house! Fair winds and following seas to you and yours!”

Waving at them, she took a couple of steps. Taking out Lafayette’s phone, she called home.

“I am done,” she said when Gran picked up. “I will be home in a bit. I love you.”

As the doors closed behind her, there was a short, dark handsome man who stepped out and smiling at her he bowed.

“Please, if I might introduce myself. I am Samuel Da’vid, Eric’s brother. Please pardon him for his rudeness. This is not the first time he has fought this evil that descends and tries to rule the world. He has a good heart but a foul mouth, from time-to-time. I cannot make excuses for his ill manners but I love him. Please, won’t you join us for the after-party briefing.”

“I don’t think he wants me there and if I attend, I am not going to make this easy for him.”

“He would not know what to do if you did,” Samuel smiled at her.

Sookie thought it over for a second or two. An after briefing made all kinds of sense. “Do you know how long this will take? I just called my Gran and told her I was on my way home.”

“Possibly until sunrise. Would you mind?”

“No, I’m off work today. I could swing that. Just give me a minutes. Where do I meet you?”

“Make your phone call and I will escort you to the back of the  building.”

When Sookie hung up, Samuel was there and offered her his arm. Placing her hand on his forearm, together they walked around to the back door, Samuel discussing the building techniques that had been used to turn a warehouse into a Gothic manor.

So, this is where everyone had parked, she nodded to herself as she surveyed the back-parking lot as they approached another door. Samuel placed his hand on biometric scanner and the door opened.

The hallway was nice. Lovely, even. The Goth carried all the way to the back-loading dock. Not at all like the drywall and scuffed, aged, green paint that greeted them at the back door of Merlotte’s. Walking inside, once more time Samuel placed his hand on another door and it opened, to reveal a large room with leather furniture and paintings on the walls. A massive desk. All very masculine. It was an office, a very nice office. And in it sat several other men and a woman who all stood when she entered.

“If I might,” Samuel smiled at her, “I would like to introduce you to Ian, Cedric, Attila, Vlad, Lady Vedo, Siggy and Willy.”

They all bowed their heads to her when their names were said.

“Please,” she motioned with her hands, “please sit down. And you can call me Sookie.”

“Here,” Samuel smiled at her, pulling out a chair. “Please sit. We were just watching the floor show. I must say my dear, you were very impressive. I believe Pamela owes all of us money. We bet on you. She of course, had to bet on her maker. I am happy to say, I believe I am getting my Paris penthouse back in time for Spring.”

Sookie grinned at him. “Is she anything like her maker?”

All of them laughed.

“Well then,” she grinned, “good for you.”

“Oh, the party is breaking up,” Ian chuckled.  “Eric is threatening to throw them bodily out. Pamela will see them to the front doors. If anyone is tossing them out, she wants to be the one to do it.

I do believe our host for this evening is headed this way.”

The door to Eric’s office opened and when he saw her he said, “Where are your friends?”

“Friends?”  she replied, baffled.

“You really came by yourself?” he stared at her in disbelief.

“There was nothing said about bringing friends,” Sookie countered.

“Late Druid,” Eric eyed her in disbelief. “That is a given. When you go to war, you take as many friends as you can with you,” he chastised her.

In the same mocking voice he continued on. “Do you have a name?” Eric asked her.

“Yes,” she stared at him, her eyes never leaving his.  “Late Druid.”

Cedric actually laughed out loud.

Eric and Sookie both turned and glared at him.

“Pardon,” the Irish lad mended his manners and wiped the smile from his face and sat quietly with his hands folded in his lap.

“Yes,” Ian nodded, smiling, “you can tell she is family. She gets pissy, Eric, just like you do. Has not one problem expressing her opinion.

We were very impressed the other day, my lady,” he bowed his head to Sookie,  “with your on-line come backs. Clever, refreshing and to the point.”

“That was not me,” Sookie looked at the Irish and the English. “That was my family helping me out. My Gran knew the Irish code, my brother, who is a Medium, knew that the undead was not a spirit but a vampire and I pushed the thought around that you were all probably sitting in England having a very good laugh at our expense,” she chided them.

“So you do have friends,” Eric nodded. “Most excellent. Will they be joining us?”

“No, if something happens to me, Lafayette is to take care of Gran. I am willing to risk myself but not them.”

So, he had been wrong about her. It was time to re-evaluate. “She has morals,” he digested that, “and a real sense of family. Well fuck…” so she was from his mother’s side of the family. And he had been disrespectful. This was not going to be easy.

“Why not a steel blade?” he queried, his voice polite.

“Because tin is native to Cornwall. It runs through the earth there and flavors everything. Curses, blessings, water, wind, it all carries the taste of tin. The madness might have started in Eire, but for the family,Cornwall is where this began. The henge was flavored with it and the evil, also, once it opened the portal.

So it will take tin to destroy it.”

“Fuck me,” Eric said as he thought through that line of reasoning. “That explains a lot.”

“Yes, it does,” Vlad nodded in agreement. “We were so proud of our crucible steel blades. They could cut any metal known at the time. Just not the death blow to whatever that is that descends those stairs.

Tin,” he shook his head. “We would have never put that together.

Thank you,” he said, bowing his head to Sookie.

Eric was watching her closely. Relaxed, confident, at peace. Her dress and her braids reminded him of his grandmother. The symbols that were braided onto her scalp proclaimed who she was. Seid, well yes. Priestess, well yes. She was his match. She carried her line of women’s magic, as well. She was very gifted in an age that was without grace and not deserving of her.

 “My Viking ancestor,” he began,  “was married to your Druid ancestor. Somehow time and place lines were crossed and here we are today, still cleaning up this mess. I fought this war a thousand years, ago. And five hundred years, ago. And in the early  1700’s hundreds.

Tin,” Eric nodded his head. “I will have a blade of tin and my steel one as well, just in case.”

“Smart,” Sookie nodded. “Always be prepared.”

“What else do you know of this?” he asked.

“I hate to sound like the cliché, but our male ancestor should have killed the traitor when she told him too. Her husband hesitated, because of the laws, and I get that; but that gave evil an opportunity to escape up the stairs and into the stars.

She set boundaries, though. For them to return, it has to be an eclipsing blood moon, there has to be a henge that the eclipse stares into at its azimuth, and a male and female family member must be present to fight it.”

“And if we defeat it, you really have a way of closing it?” Eric asked.

“I am thinking on that,” she replied. “There are one or two ways it could go. But for sure, it can be done.”

Eric stared at her and started to say something when they heard singing out in the hall. A male and female, singing a bawdy song and laughing in-between verses.

“O.I. and Pamela, from the sound of things,” Attila chuckled.

“I would say your top shelf tequila that Pam keeps under lock and key took a serious hit,” Samuel was laughing as well.

When the door opened, Sookie smiled. For the first time tonight, she felt a weight lift from her. There fluttering into the room was the clone of Lafayette, in dragon form.

“Mo fo’n,” she smiled at the cat size dragon, “no turban tonight to match your big assed jewelry? And where is your cigarillo?”

The dragon landed in her outstretched hands. “You knows me?” he asked.

“I know your brother,” she replied. “Because he is my brother as well.”

“Mo’ fo’n,” he replied, staring into her eyes. “So tells me somethin’ about myself,” he grinned at her, all his teeth showing.

“Oh where to begin,” Sookie sighed and then chuckled. “Let me see, what is the most important part of your look? That would be a coin toss between your eye makeup, which is sadly missing tonight. You would look killer in a purple butterfly design. Or your manni and peddi. Seriously, I could go either way with that.”

“Favorite drink?” he asked.

“Well you might think that Attila gave that away. But it would be the blue agave. Just pour it into a glass and don’t stop until it is full.”

“Favorite somethin’ somethin’ to snacks on?’

“Corn chips, hot and fresh from the fat; and salsa, medium hot.”

“Favorite singer?” he leaned in.

“Barry Manilow.”

“Favorite movie?” he chuckled, thinking he had her now.

“Some Like it Hot.”

“Favorite get on down the big roads music?” And he thought she just might know him!

“Anything by the Queen of Soul. Miss Aretha, step on out.”

“Barry White?”

“Your hero.”

“Hm-m-m-m-m-,” he was stroking his exposed left, front fang. “And if I never come home again?”

“I can find you someplace over the rainbow.”

 “Those are some good and righteous answers,” he smiled at her, nodding. “Toughest one of all…now…wheres do I live?”

“In a heart full of love,” Sookie replied gently.

O.I. could feel it building inside of him. Hope…

Sookie was admiring the big presence that the small creature made. His wings created a soft fluttering of the air currents. There was a distinct smell that wafted around him. “Fireplace with toasted marshmallows,” flitted across her mind and cause her to recall memories of s’mores being made on a cold day with her oldest brother.

 O.I. noted the change in her. She haloed love and caring, and a softness to her that had been missing, before. What could bring about such a change in her?   “I could use me’s a dragon rider of the finest sort in this next battle. How’s come it won’t be him?”

“Because,” Sookie smiled at O.I., “he is afraid of heights.”

“Mo’ fo’n,” O.I.’s lower lip trembled while he wiped the tears away. “Been missin’ him somethin’ fierce and fiercer. Been lonely, so much been tearin’s at my heart this last bits and bits.”

“I think he would say the same thing,” Sookie nodded.

“He here tonight?” he asked, hope in his voice.

“No,” Sookie shook her head. “He is at home, takin’ care of our gran.”

“Course he is,” O.I. nodded, wiping at the purple tears that were falling from his eyes.  “Doin’ what’s rights and goods. See’n to family and bein’ mindful. Not out chasin’ the stars and fartin’ on the wind currents of time and chance.

God bless his heart and his soul. You gots photos?” In his voice was the sound of hope.

“Sure I do,” Sookie smiled and went to Lafayette’s selfie album on his phone. “Start here,” she smiled, “and just scroll on through. And maybe take a few of yourself so I can share with him when I get home.”

The vampires and Sookie talked family history while O.I. made his way through Lafayette’s photos. His giggles of delight and outright tears of joy stopped the conversation   more than once.

“Just goes on with your rat killin’s,” he would wipe at his eyes and do a jig. “I am celebratin’ my brother!”

“So how,” Sookie was watching Eric, “how do you keep others from jumping into the foray? I mean, won’t every Druid and his brother be out there at this stone circle during the eclipse?”

Eric stared at her for a long time. Trying to see the depths of her soul. Trying to gauge her…genius, or insanity.

“Late Druid,” he began slowly, “do you know the difference between genius and stupidity?”

“No,” she shook her head.

“Genius has limits. Stupidity does not.

So the answer to that is yes,” Eric nodded, “they will be there with their staffs of elm,  smudge pots, crystals,  and whatever else they deem necessary. But the closer the eclipse gets, the stones begin to vibrate and there is a horrible stench. I don’t even think grave rot begins to describe it. Then the air starts to shimmer and gives way to a completely different night sky. The star clusters are pinks and greens. A stone stair step appears, with a lion guarding  it. Sometimes it roars and joins in the fighting.

In the past, most got scared and ran. There will probably be a few posting to social media and they will get eaten because they are that stupid. Because stupid has no limits.”

“You don’t mince words,” she nodded to herself, “I like that. So, these creatures…are these things like ghosts? Or are they solid?”

They all shrugged. “Both, I would say,” Samuel replied. “You get a true mixture of human appearing specters and things that do not resemble human construct at all that appear to be solid.

My best guess, is that Abhartach was possibly an angel that fell during the rebellion and has been spreading his discontent ever since.”

“Cathain, our male Viking ancestor,” Eric motioned to her, “had trouble killing him. As in, he slew him more than once or even twice. And Abhartach always reappeared in a more dreaded form.”

“So he wasn’t a vampire?” Sookie asked.

“No,” Eric shook his head.  “Something far beyond that.

Be forewarned! The night sky is beautiful! Strange and exotic. If you are weak willed, it can draw you in and the time will pass without you knowing it. This has happened to others in the past. Druid and supernatural, alike.

What comes down that staircase is evil. You can taste it on the wind and feel it in your bones. Not that I am virtuous or would be considered moral, but I certainly do not want that set loose here.”

“I looked on line at this henge. It is out in the middle of a corn field. I know folks just drive up to it. Park, and then walk through some fenced off alley ways.  Is it on private property? Do we need to clear this with someone?”

“Yes, it is on private property. And yes, it is open to the public. But we shall remove the innocent bystanders at around eleven. Then those that are destined to fight this or be destroyed will be in attendance.”

“So, I just meet you there?” she asked.

“We’ll set something up. Call the club between now and then and we will get you the specifics.”

“Well alright then,” she nodded and stood. “I got to be gettin’ back. Is there anythin’ else?”

“No,” they all shook their heads.

“Excellent, I will see you at the henge in N.O. the night of the eclipse. Until then, rest well during the day.”

Reaching for Lafayette’s phone, O.I. handed it to her. “May I go with you, to meet him?” he asked.

“I’ll call,” she smiled at him. “I think he will be delighted to see you.”

“Then come fair lady and I will see you safely home.

Adieu,” O.I. called out and bowed to the group, snagged the bottle of blue agave then opened the door for Sookie and together, they left the building.

Once they were outside Sookie called the house.

“Lafayette, Gran still up?” she asked.

“No, she has done and gones to bed.  You doin’ fine?”

“Indeed I am. I am bringin’ home someone who wants to meet you.”

“That a fact? What is his bona fides?”

“Well,” Sooki smiled at O.I. “He is your brother.”

“What?” Lafayette shot back. “What has Miss Thang done and did now?”

“Not her doin’, Lafayette. We’ll be home in about forty-five minutes.”

“You not drivin’ with some serial killer are you? Do I needs to load your shot gun?”

“No-o-o-o, no need. Just hang tight. And set up the shot glasses. Looks like we are bringin’ home a bottle of Class Azul Ultra. Ole!

See you in a bit, gotta drive now,” she smiled and hung up.

“Ole!” Lafayette shouted. “Where oh where, His La La Fineness wants to be known, did Miss Sooks gets herself a 6,000 dollar bottle of tequila? And I am gonna be havin’ me a bottle of 6,000 dollar bottle of tequila! And a brother who brings home expensives tequila! Ole!”

O.I. fluttered along while she walked the parking lot. “Where you parked? The north forty out of bounds?” he asked, looking around.

“Oh, at the end of the strip mall. I did not realize there was parkin’ in the back lot. Did not even realize there was a back lot. Wow, would you look at the high-end autos parked back here. There must be over a million bucks in cars alone.”

“Yes, the riff of the raft has gone and only vamps left. Their rides are fast and faster,” O.I. observed.

“Yous is changin’,” he said as he now flew in front of her, watching her morph to someone else.

“Yes,” she nodded. “Gran said I would change the closer the time came to goin’ to war. I was surprised that I changed so much tonight. The closer I got to Fangtasia, the more I took on the appearance of a Druid Seid.

That job is now over and I am going back to being Sookie, the waitress in a bar and grill.”

O.I. looked her over carefully. “All I sees is yous love and cherished heart. Your people are mightly blessed to be havin’ you in their life.”

“You know that Eric now consists of my people,” she replied as she opened his car door and he fluttered in.

“Yes,” he nodded looking at her, “he is blessed most of all.

Now then, tells me about my brother. His momma! Do I has any more family that I am missin?”

There was was quite in Eric’s office. All of the vampire’s fingering the blade at their side. “That is why,” Vlad took out the bronze blade, “we were able to kill them.”

The others laughed out loud.

“We were so proud of the crucible steel,” Attila was chuckling as he drew his bronze sword as well.

“To kill an ancient evil, you need things that are original to the earth,” Samuel grinned. “Copper and tin, goodly things that Father God created, make bronze.”

“Note to self,” Madame Vedo nodded. “When killing ancient, go with ancient.  I wonder,” she eyed the crowd. “What do you think of tin worked into your clothing? I don’t know that we have enough time for tin armor. Maybe something like a Kevlar vest?”

“Oh Madame,” they all stood and bowed, “we leave you to do your best.”

“Eric,” they bowed to him and then all pulled their swords and saluted!

“Thank you, once more,” he presented his Viking sword to them in a salute. “The world and I am forever in your debt.”

Eric saw his friends out the door and went back to his office. Samuel was there, waiting for him. It was time to talk this out.

Eric felt the tension of the dark slip away. It was time to speak the truth of his irrational mind and basic greed. Samuel’s green eyes were soft and welcoming. His brother had never judged him, always gave him good council and loved him despite himself.

Eric sat down next to him on the couch.

“What weighs on you my brother?” Samuel asked as he placed his hand on top of Eric’s and squeezed it.

Eric settled back into the couch and bringing Samuel’s hand to his lips, kissed it and letting go, he clasped his own hands in his lap.

“Samuel, I have been thinking the unthinkable. This evil gets stronger every time we encounter it.

The Late Druid, she has inherited her women’s clan of magic. Just like myself. When I was turned vampire, that magic became more.”

“Eric…” Samuel began, shaking his head, no!

“Just let me say it,” Eric whispered. “What…what if I turned her?”

Samuel smiled at his brother. “You share a bloodline, my brother. You would what, create a constantly pissed off version of yourself? Or, God forbid, another version of The Child?”

Eric made a sour face. “Trust you to get to the guts of the matter,” he gave him a small smile.

“There is a reason you do not know her name,” Samuel said gently. “She does not strike me as the type that would go gently into that vampire darkness so I would suggest you keep your fangs out of her neck. She would fight you with all that she is and perhaps destroy the both of you in the process. Evil would gain a gateway and this world would never be the same.

Would you doom all of us to this tragedy, my brother?” he said gently. “Besides, I heard her say she had a plan for closing this portal once and for all.”

Eric was thinking about that. Humans were so fragile. “Then she should be protected. Humans live by the turn of a leaf. Or the soap on a shower floor. A shoe on the stairs.”

“Eric,” Samuel took his hand. “You are not alone in this endeavor. Your friends are here. We have your back. And now, we have a new something to add to the mix. Clearly, she carries power within her. A clean, sweet smelling power. Nothing corrupted. She walks with the God of my fathers. Not the heathen human sacrifice of old.

And I do believe O.I. shall be in attendance upon her. He will keep her safe so that she may play her part. And it sounds like, perhaps he shall have a dragon rider, this go around. Truly, he shall be death from above. And we have the knowledge of tin.”

Eric smiled at his brother and then leaned his forehead against his. “How much salt did Saul and Miriam give you?”

Samuel laughed. “About 200 pounds. Straight from the Dead Sea. It is already on the ground in N.O. at my residence.”

“Most excellent,” Eric grinned and then hugged him.  “Thank you for listening to my idiocy. But sometimes, I just have to say it out loud to someone to get it out of my system.”

“I understand,” Samuel smiled at him. “Truly I do.

Sunrise is coming.”

“Yes,” Eric smiled at him and then stood and headed for the door. “My residence is closer. Let us take shelter there.”

The Curse of the Eclipsing Blood Moon—Chapter 3

Banner The Curse of the Eclipsing Blood Moon

Chapter 3

The characters of the Southern Vampire Mysteries belong to Miss Charlaine Harris. No infringement on my part is intended. The characters on True Blood belong to Mr. Alan Ball. No infringement on my part is intended.

I have no BETA, editor, or other such charming person. All mistakes are my own. This Story is rated M.


The Curse of the Eclipsing Blood Moon

Chapter 3

Sookie heard her alarm, felt the sun, and was up and in the kitchen. Gran had already made coffee and had gone out to get the newspaper.

“We may be country dwellers,” Sookie poured herself a cup, “but Gran says we live in civilization. And reading the paper with a cup of coffee is a sign of civilization. So be it. I am living the dream!”

Taking out the bread and making toast, Gran came in. It was lunch time but breakfast sounded better.

“Bit of a nip to the air,” she said as she took the rubber band off the rolled-up paper.

“That’s interesting,” she spread the paper out and Sookie refilled her coffee cup as well.  “There is a small article here on the front page that says if you want more information on last night’s shooting star spectacle, to contact Longboat Scientific Optics. Apparently, they have several telescopes, the biggest one named Drakbåt,pointed at the night sky and captured some excellent photos. If you want to use them in your magic circles or for science projects, please feel free to do so, it says.  They are not going to hold  a copyright on the photos. They give a web site and everything.”

“Just shooting stars?” Sookie asked. “Nothing about the purple Northern Lights that were flashing their stuff this far south or the Drakbåtthat was ridin’ it? Yeah, go fish,” Sookie hooted.

“Not one word,” Gran smiled at her. “Nope, not a one. Do you think this is from the fellow warriors that you are supposed to fight with? You know, throwing out a line? Do a little pre-war meet and greet?”

“Oh, it is probably a line all right,” she snickered,  “but I cannot ignore the magic circle bit. So, Lafayette has a laptop. We should be able to check in with his.

I’m callin’ him now.”

“You has got the good and righteous His La La Fineness, Miss Sooks. How are you and Gran doin’? I didn’t sleep until the sun came up.”

“Us as well,” Sookie said pulling back the kitchen curtain.  “After last night, don’t know if I will ever sleep again.”

“Same as same here,” he replied. “Lordy, pretty lights and a boat you don’t have to row. No spirits on board, though. Don’t know if that is good and righteous or nots.  Not everyday, though, you see one of those hovering on the lights of the North this far south.”

“Yeppers, that is where we are at. And because of that, Gran and I are in a quandaryover here. We need a computer to check out a web site that looks like is talkin’ to us.”

“Well come on,” he said. “I’ll fire it up and will be here waitin’ on you. Makin’ coffee. A pot. Don’t bother bringin’  that stuff you keep in yous cupboard.”

“On our way,” Sookie said and hung up the phone.

“Do you think Lafayette will put a chocolate kiss in our coffee along with that full fat cream,” Gran asked grabbing her sweater.

“I would count on that,” Sookie smiled and reaching behind patted her butt. “So much for ever fittin’ into my skinny jeans, again. Lafayette puts those kisses in his muffins, as well. I bet he is doing up a batch of those, even as we speak. Forget the toast and peanut butter. Let’s go have chocolate for breakfast and then see if he will do a follow-on with chocolate for lunch!”

Lafayette had indeed made chocolate muffins and had special coffee! As they ate, he studied the newspaper article.

“So we are thinkin’ this is code for somethin’,” he said as he took a sip and then put in the web address. “Okay…here we are…and we are lookin’ at their menu in regards to the shootin’ stars.

Hm-m-m-m, nothin’ here that particularly sets this in motion,” he said as they scrolled through the photos.

“Okay,” Sookie was thoughtful, “here it says leave a comment. What says the group?  Yes or no? Easy-peasy. Click yes,” she said.  “And now it says describe what you saw.”

“We can do that,” Lafayette said and began typing. “What do you think? Is that enough?” he asked as he sat back and turned the lap top to face Sookie and Gran.

“Oh yes,” Sookie nodded. “Good description. You even include the big, shinning stars that twinkled and looked like they were blowing kisses.”

“Clicking the send box and well, just looks here at all theses pretty photographs. It says pick the one that looks like the closest of what we saw.”

“It is not there,” Gran said carefully scrutinizing the photos.

“You are right Gran,” Sookie nodded. “It is not there.”

“Now what?” Gran asked.

“Scroll all the way to the bottom and once more click into the comment box and ask them just what the fuck? Sorry Gran,” Sookie looked at her, “but really, just what the fuck?”

“And so if I might quote you on that,” Lafayette began typing, “Just what the fuck? The photo is not there.

Hitting enter, there was no immediate response. Then another box popped up. “Would you like to chat with a live associate?”

“We want to do that?” Gran asked.

 “Yes,” he typed, “get yourself on line.”

Eric had caught an immediate flight out of Shreveport after watching the sun set and was sitting in Ian’s manor home in London, watching the wanne be’s think they could be invited into the little eclipsing of the Blood Moon, to-war, soirée.

“We have a live one,” he chuckled as Ian, the vampire king of British Isle pulled up a chair beside him.

“I like him already,” Ian laughed as he read the message. “Sounds like a live one. We got afuckright out the door. So who do we have manning the phone lines today?”

“What do you think about a peg-legged pirate?” Eric asked.

“Aar-r-r-r-r-r-gh!” Ian answered. “I like it. But I really like those psychics at those 900 numbers. Maybe you should fly as one of those.”

“Really?” Eric grinned. “I have not done Miss Jazz-meme in a while.”

“Time to take the old girl out,” Ian grinned.

“Can do,” Eric replied as he began to type.

Greetings and salutations from the other side of the veil, oh gifted of sights not seen by human eyes. I will be your guide for this conversation with the undead who shall pass your way with vital information.

I am smelling me some bullshits,” Lafayette rolled his eyes as he read this missive out loud. “Undead? This is His La La Fineness! I knows undead in the grave. This is undead that walks! You think we is chattin’ up a vampire?”

“Well if we are, he is not local. We have got us some sunshine ruling the skies today. He should be sleepin’. Anywhere in the U.S. he should be sleepin’. Unless he is in Hawaii. And if he is in Hawaii, fuck him,” Sookie snarked.  “He can just turn to flames when the sun comes up.”

“True dat,” he nodded. “But this vamp, he could haves some serious foldin’ monies and the world could be his oyster. Lets says he watches here last nights then hops on a plane and goes East. Maybe London or Paris. If I hads monies, that is what His La La Fineness would do. They have some nightfall there and nice things to buy.

Miss Sooks, how do you want to play this?”

“Fucking rich ass hole,” she snipped. “I am wound up enough about this and now to put up with this…this…” she stopped and looked over at Gran. “Bad work, bad word, bad word, stuff,” she nodded.

“For now, just go with it,” her voice stern.  “Hit them with your woo-de-who ways, our very fine His La La Fineness.  Call him a Viking, because of the longboat and a seer…really?  Isn’t that a tough job for a vamp, seeing as how he sleeps during the day.”

“Tit for tat, I likes it,” Lafayette grinned. “Here we go.”

Oh one of the Viking fanged persuasion. We grieves mightily that you cannot partake of tea-time and champagne, so please check in with someone in charge so that we might glean our info and move forward.

“I like,” Sookie nodded. “Hit send.”

“Off we goes. Now, let us see what pops up next.”

“Damn and damn again, Eric,” Ian was laughing. “Too bad Cedric is running late. He would love this.”

“Did I hear my name, me boyo,” the Irish stuck his head in. “And what do we have going on? I see The Viking looking daggers at his lap top. I do so hope he is not going to go berserker all over it.”

“King of Eire,” Eric looked over at him and smiled. “Sit your very fine Irish ass down and have a go at this. I am starring you in the very beginning of the conversation.”

“Oh,” the Irish lad read, “and then oh-h-h-h-h, well. Appears that you have been figured out.”

“Yes, hit them with some of your Irish. I am now curious to see their bona-fides.”

Hello darlin’ one. Something like that?” he asked.

“Yes,” Eric nodded. “And do not make this easy for them.”

“Well, then, let us discuss the Hill of Uisneach. See what they have to say about that.”

The seat of kings,

The power of one

From the beginning of time,

All has come undone.  Lafayette read.

So is that a yes or no on the approval rating?” Gran asked.

“So-o-o-o,” Sookie was staring at the poem. “Since there was no snark, we are somewhere in Europe. And I think they have switched out folks. So who is the new guy?”

“Irish,” Gran replied. “The seat of kings…that is the Hill of   Unisneach. Remember that postcard we got from my Aunt Hilda. She was there on Samhain for the fires.”

“Well, Ireland does have a vampire king,” Lafayette added.

“You think we are rolling with the big guns?”  Sookie asked, a little shocked.

“Who is to say?” Gran replied. “We got no come back when we called him a Viking. Maybe that is why they switched drivers, so to speak.”

“Well, time to rhyme, His La La Fineness says.”

 Undone? Undone my king?

Your seat of power continues on

The vista great with birds on wing.

The Hill of Usineach forever in the dawn.


“And there it goes,” Lafayette chuckled.

“My o’ my,” was being laughed out loud.

Eric looked at the two royals who were having a chuckle at his expense.

“Bona fides and then some,” Ian grinned.

Eric glared at the two and then making something that resembled a triangle with his two hands, tapped his fingers together. “Well, that purchases some good will. They get grid co-ordinates. I hope they know as much about land navigation.

Ian, if you would do the honors?”

“My pleasure.”

Gran, Sookie and Lafayette  watched the screen once more as it came alive.

32.454N X 93.8287W  15/1/19  02

“What the hell?” Sookie hissed.

“Grid co-ordinates,” Gran answered. “The wonder of it all,” she sounded exasperated and rolled her eyes. “They don’t believe in making this easy, do they? And the date and time.  The 15th of January at two A.M.”

“Fine ladies, we knows that we has got us a Viking, the king of Eire, and there is a vamp king of British Isle. Where do you think these mo fo’ers are broadcasting from?”

“I read a romance novel about the vampire king of British Isle. C.E. Stewart did a real fine job of writtin’ up his London manor.  Let’s look that up and put it in.”

Lafayette was out on the web and then grinned. “Gots it right here, Fine Ladies.”

“Send it,” Sookie and Gran both said.

 “51.5194 N X 0.1270 W,” Cedric read as he chuckled.

“Mo’ fo’n,” O.I., king of the dragons laughed out loud, blowing smoke rings that looked like bunny rabbits that went bounding away.“Tis good to be able to pull on Mr. Eric’s short hairs. Really gets his attention!  Tis good to be bona fide.”

Eric said nothing, only glared and then had a smile, himself. “We will have an interesting crowd fighting evil this time. O.I., so glad you could join us.”

“You know Mr. Eric’s, if there is a brawl, I wants in.

 Been that way from the beginning of time. In later ages, when I hooked up with Brother Samuel, there was some of that evil from the beginning, still out there lurkin’ and we kicked its ass.  And then, Brother Samuel introduces me to his Viking fineness and there are stone henges that need to be weeded and hoed…especially on the night of an eclipsing Blood Moon. And you knows, I am always up for a good brawl. Will invite myself in if needs be.”

“The meet and greet is on the 15th,” Sookie took out a calendar, “at two! As in two in the morning! Sick vampire fuckers,” she mumbled under her breath. “Lafayette, do you know where yet?”

“Yes…” he looked up at Sookie. “Fangtasia. The vamper bar in Shreveport.”

“You mean the one that looks like a Gothic manor on the outside?”

“That would be the one,” Lafayette, nodded. “And it looks like a gothic manor on the inside as well. All the furniture  and do-dads, the real thing. Stained glass, a lot of it. A vampire by the name of Eric Northman owns it. Viking, starting at the top of his head with his blond roots,  all the way down his long legs. Gorgeous but deadlies, I hears.”

“So this fucker just up and flies to London to hang out with his friends that are two kings and who knows what else. Must be nice,” she mumbled.

“Okay, got that out of my system. Maybe.

So I don’t appear to be a complete goof-ball, I am goin’ need to do some studyin’.  Viking religion, Druids, and I want to go to church this Sunday and take communion. I need all the help I can get.

The romance novels I read has a lot of Viking history in them. Along with stone henges and other magics. So some things maybe I know. And there are libraries about things I don’t know.”

“I can help also,” Gran said. “I’ll go to the library and read and then, Sookie, I can explain to you the important stuff when you come home from work.”

“Myself as well, Miss Sooks. We shall have us a basic working knowledge. And that night while you are there, maybe you will learn some more.”

For the next nine days Sookie learned, discussed and speculated on the most general of things relating to magic…Viking, Druid, and how they celebrated their holidays.

Those days passed swiftly. Lafayette grilled her at work, Gran was always up whenever she came and filled her in with fine details.

The evening of meet and greet finally appeared. Gran was helping her with her jacket.

“The most important thing to remember,  Sookie, is: Vikings: The Tree of Life and the Rune stones.

Druids: Poetry, stone circles, and all things that speak too and of nature.”

Sookie nodded. “Got it. No bullshit. If I don’t know the answer, then I don’t know and let him make of it what he will. This rich, Viking vampire asshole is a relative of some sort. Boy, I sure would like to kick his ass for getting me out at such an hour.”

“It is 0045,” Gran looked her granddaughter over one more time. “Give us a kiss and we are lighting a candle for you. I am going out to the henge and taking my lantern with me.  Lafayette has said he will sit with me until you return.”

“You be careful” they both shouted after her as she made her way out to her car.

“Will do,” she looked over shoulder and called back. There, in the porch light stood her family. “I love you,” she said and blew them a kiss and got in started the car. With another wave, she was off into the night.

“Lafayette, if you would grab the thermos, I already have the blankets and chairs positioned and the wood stacked in the fire pit.”

“Let’s go call down some blessin’s,” Lafayette nodded.

“Our girl is goin’ into the fiery furnace. The angels will surely be there to keep her from gettin’ burned!”

It was a fine night to be out driving! The sky was crystal clear and the stars glittered like diamonds thrown out into the dark abyss of waiting love.

“Yes, right,” she grinned, “who is ever gonna want to love me? Crazy Sookie! But hey, check it out, tonight I have a mission. And it just does not come any crazier than this.”

Turning up the radio on her favorite gospel station, she sang along and shouted “Amen” when she felt the need.

When she hit the Shreveport city limits, there was a detour sign.

“What the fuck?’ she groaned as she followed the signs through residential neighborhoods. “This is going to cost me time. Should have allowed more leeway,” she hissed to herself. “But I will be there!”

When she emerged back onto the interstate, she had five more miles to go.

When she pulled into the parking lot, “What the fuck?” exploded out! There was heavy road machinery everywhere. “So this is their staging ground. Come on universe, work with me here!”

Carefully she threaded her way through and down to the club. There was no place to park! Heavy machinery along with holding containers of sand, rock and who knew what else took up all the room.

She found a parking spot next to a bulldozer down by the Toy’s R Usthat had gone out of business. “Finally,” she moaned as she scampered out of the car.  “I am going to be late. But I am here, that has to count for something.”

Down the parking lot she went, weaving her way in and out of the machinery.

Approaching the front door, she felt something inside of her shift. Like when she clutched her car. That second before the next gear engaged and then the shift went smoothly into gear. Before she knocked, she felt the warmth spread out and around her. The night air no longer held the chill.

“What the fuck!” breathed out of her. “What is happening to my hair?” Lifting her hands up to her head, she could feel the corn roll braids covering her head in intricate patterns until one long bread cascaded down her back to the floor.

Her clothes had shifted as well. Looking down, she could see that she was wearing an off-white shift and was wearing a massive white wool shawl that wrapped around her and covered her head. Her suede boots went to her thighs.

“I’ve been Cinderella-ed,” she choked on that thought. “Okay, Gran said I would become more.” As she reached out to lift the door knocker, a staff appeared in her hand as well, the top third embedded in crystals and from the top bloomed lilacs.

“We are not worthy, O’ honored one,” the sailors aboard the longboat knocker said to her.  “Please, rap with your bloodied staff and we shall consider ourselves blessed.”

“Okay,” she kept her eyes on the longboat and raising her staff, struck the door three times. Even from where she stood, she could hear it ringing throughout the building, a pure clear tone that announced her.

Everyone in Fealty Hall heard the knock.

“Druid. Late, as always,” Eric rolled his eyes.

“Come in,” he shouted.

The doors swung open and Sookie stepped in. Lafayette had not been kidding! Even in the candle light, this place was damned impressive! Manor house was right!

Hearing the voices, she went toward them until she found where they were gathered. There were chairs scattered about the room.  Lots of chairs and all looked inviting and expensive.

A huge fireplace spewed embers up the chimney when she entered.

“Late Druid,” the man at the front called out to her. “We have been waiting on you. So nice of you to join us so that we might start.”

“Fuck,” she mumbled. T’was indeed Eric Northman that was hosting tonight. Lafayette had briefed her all about him. Complete with photos. Blond, good looking, deadly and apparently family.

Just fucking great. So it was noted that she was late.  Well, she had been raised with manners. “Just do the polite thing, Sookie,” she nodded to herself.

“I apologize to all of you for being late. That I have misused your time unwisely. May the love of the universe find its way to you and yours.”

An older woman up front stood and faced her. “The Three Feathers Coven thanks you for your blessing.”

“Here we go,” Pam mouthed and shook her head at Eric. “We’ll be here all night just listen’ to them praise each other.”

Eric hid his smirk and began his dressing down. “It is a quarter past the hour,” he said with disapproval in his tone.  “With the Late Druid’s permission, we shall start.”

“Well, yes…” Sookie began a bit embarrassed.  “Please do…”

“Do you not know sarcasm when you hear it?” Eric said staring at her and then switched his attention to those assembled.

“Tit for tat” rattled around in her brain. After all, he was family. “Treat him like you treat Jason,” she heard that voice of reason and acted on it.

“I know an asshole when I hear one,” she smiled at him. “They make a rude noise followed on by a foul odor.”

From the corner of his eye, he could see Pamela smirking.

“Touché!” The Child mouthed at him and winked.

“Thank you, Cousin,” he bowed his head to her,  “for your endearing remark.

First order of business,” he began, as he watched the crowd’s reaction! Several blinked and many of them turned to look at her.

“What is your reason for fighting this war and how did you get here?” Eric asked calling their attention back to the front of the room.

Sookie took a breath. Okay, so he knew about the family curse. That made things easier, maybe. Pulling up a chair in the back, she sat down and looked around her. Most were dressed in jeans and a hoodie. Which is how she had started out. The Coven in the front, they all wore robes. As she traversed the room with a critical eye, there seemed to be several other covens as well.

The meeting had been called back to order and it was interesting listening to them speak.  Each group had its own reason for guarding the stone circle.

For some it was a rite of passage.

For others it was a test that had to be passed before moving to the next level of their rank.

“Packmaster,” Eric addressed a tall, handsome man who wore a brooding look that matched the one of the vampire on stage. “Why are you here?”

“Blood moons are bad business for us. It has its ways with the dual natured. My momma sent me tonight. Momma said that her bona fides and my strength were needed. So here I am to stand and fight with you.”

Eric nodded. “I respect your mother’s knowledge and her reverence of the ways of nature. So be it.”

Something rippled throughout the crowd. For a moment Sookie thought maybe they were laughing at the man.

The blond on stage dropped his fangs and roared his discontent out at the gathering. “You think you know this magic that wants to eat you,” he snarled as blue sparks shot from his eyes. “You know nothing!

Packmaster,” his voice was calm and held respect.  “I have nothing but admiration for your mother,” Eric said with a bow of his head to the other man.

“Well good on you,” Sookie smiled to herself. “Don’t let them insult him and his momma!”

The crowd settled back into itself.

“Let us continue,” Eric said. “The Coven of Cat’s Paw, stand and take the floor.”

Sookie was very surprised  to hear several say that it was their destiny to die defeating the dark magics.

And as she listened, she wondered if they were human.  “Dual natured,” her eyes went back to the man that was called Packmaster.  “Just what type of pack does he master?” she wondered.

A man in a dark cape stood. “The Dark Arts Druids are here to protect the henge. We care not what does or does not slither out. The circle has been sanctified and we will keep it that way. We arrived here because there was a calling in our magics.

And we do not know this…this…Late Druid,” his voice held malice. “She is not a goddess, regardless of how she dresses and proclaims it to the world.  Such arrogance! We doubt that she walks the path at all.”

Sookie stood and announced in a very clear, controlled voice, “Like I give a fuck about what you believe or do not believe,” she replied with attitude and then sat back down.

There was a slight ripple of power across the room. Sookie could feel it. It was like someone had been sitting on the fence about her, but that business was now done. The decision had been made in her favor. She had no idea by who or what, but her words had rung true. She did not give a fuck what any of them thought of her.

“The Late Druid is recognized,” the host for tonight looked amused.

Sookie stood, her eyes never flinching as she stared at the vampire. Her voice held humor. “This is a family feud and I got here by GPS.” Sitting back down, everyone in the room turned around to look at her.

“So tell us, Late Druid…” Eric began.

“I do have a name,” Sookie replied, her eyes never leaving his. “And it is not Late Druid.”

“Were you late?” Eric asked with a smirk.

“Yes,” she replied, keeping her temper in check.

“Are you a Druid?” he asked pointedly.

“Yes,” she responded.

“Then you are a late Druid.

Now,” he was once more addressing the populace.   “Let us talk skills.  If you cannot defend yourself, I will not allow you to sacrifice yourself or be a martyr to the cause.  Who would like to begin?”

Sookie watched as she witnessed magic being done.  Some of it magnificent and others she thought boarder in the dark and nasty.   And so folks auditioned for their bragging rights to this battle.  She wondered what they would say if she were to tell them she was a telepath. Who could apparently change clothing and hair styles as she walked.

Once again, she was the last.

“Late Druid,” was said with a grand bow.  “Show us your

super power.”

“I have no super power,” she began. “My only claim to fame is being related to you.”

From the front a voice yelled, “What did I tell you! Not a Druid. Not even a decent human that can do Momma Magic!”

Sookie felt the tingle go up her arm and into the staff. All the crystals that had been placed it in began to shine and small bolts of lightning were flashing around her and then they began to streak upward toward the ceiling. There was the crack of thunder as nine distinct burn marks appeared on the ceiling. Then other small bolts hit the ceiling in rapid succession.

When the smoke cleared, you could see the nine planets and dancing around each one of them were nine more planets.

“You think you know what you are fighting?” she began, looking out into the crowd.  “You do not. This is a family vendetta with evil thousands of years in the warring. Taking on the ungodly unknown that would eat your souls and have you lick the shit out of their asses,” she laughed as her voice mocked them.

“I don’t know if any of you believe in God.  Your hereafter is not my concern. But it was the Vikings and Druids that got us into this. It is going to take the Vikings and the Druids belief systems that are going to hold true for the threat and give us the victory. For the Vikings, there are nine planets that reverence the Tree of Life. They are surrounded by nine planets that are surrounded by nine planets to infinity.

For the Druids, there is an eight-fold wheel.” As the words left her mouth, more lightning spit from her staff onto the ceiling. “As you can see, there are  nine major planets living within the Tree of Life. And imposed on each plant is a node of our wheel.  Look closely and you can see that Earth is without the Druid protection. Which allows this evil to access the stone henges.

If we defeat the evil this time, I will seal the henge, and a node will move to block our planet and we will not be troubled again. If we do not…well, there is always next-time.

Is there anything more to discuss?”

“No,” Eric shook his head. “Until the night of the blood moon, Cousin,” Eric bowed his head to her.

“Until then, Cousin,” Sookie bowed her head to him. Her eyes turned from him up to the ceiling. “For your rudeness to me, I shall leave the star map to remind you to mind your manners. Perhaps next time you will remember your etiquette and not mock your family.

Listen carefully” she addressed the crowd. “For those of you who will bring a blade, you will need tin ones to defeat the monsters that will sally forth. Steel will not defeat them.”

The crowd all stood and began talking at once and Sookie walked unnoticed out of the room.

Cacius, the Druid that had rebuked her, approached Eric.

“Just what the fuck has happened?” he glared at Eric. “Cousin? Really? Where did you find her? How did she come to be here? Who is she? What is she? Where does she dwell?” His rage was so great that spittle began to run down his chin. “Cousin…you call each other cousin! You know her truths! I want to know them as well!”

“Cacius,” Eric addressed the Druid that had been so rude, “you heard her just the same as I. Our family set this loose and she is here to help right the wrong.

If you hurry, perhaps you can catch her out in the parking lot and demand answers to your many questions.  But I would be careful if I was you. You can see what she did to my ceiling,” he grinned. “I don’t think she would have a problem tattooing that onto your forehead. She strikes me as the type that would enjoy it.”

The Curse of the Eclipsing Blood Moon—Chapter 2

Banner The Curse of the Eclipsing Blood Moon

The characters of the Southern Vampire Mysteries belong to Miss Charlaine Harris. No infringement on my part is intended. The characters on True Blood belong to Mr. Alan Ball. No infringement on my part is intended.

I have no BETA, editor, or other such charming person. All mistakes are my own. This Story is rated M.


The Curse of the Eclipsing Blood Moon

Chapter 2

The morning of the 5th passed quickly. They made scones and lemon curd. Gran took blackberries out of the freezer and made individual pies in the muffin tin. When she baked the rosemary bread, Sookie’s tummy started to rumble.

“Do we need vanilla ice cream to go with those cute little pies?” she asked. “If so, I am more than happy to go to the store.”

“That sounds good dear. And while you are there, have them slice a couple of pieces of roast beef and that honey baked ham they do. And buy the German brown mustard. Our little feast will be exceptionally nice.”

When Sookie returned from the store, the dining room table was set with Gran’s wedding china and silver. Sookie admired the heavy silver cutlery and how nothing like this could be afforded by them, today.

Gran’s family had been a somebody back in the day. Her family’s business had been buggy whips. There were still one or two out in the shed. Gran had used one on her brother when she found out he had been molesting Sookie.

Sadly, the family had not kept up with the times and when they did not adapt to the automobile, the business closed. The founding industrial father had sold off the big house and they had downsized to something far more modest and could be afforded by the small investments they had coming in. They kept a few things that spoke of their past glory. The china and silver had been kept and  passed down to the oldest daughter. So when Gran married, it came to her.

And here it sat now. On her dining room table where she was going to have tea with her granddaughter and her adopted grandson.

“Do you remember the big house at all?” Sookie asked. “You said at one time you saw a photo of it at your grandparents.”

“Yes, Grandmother was a Hale that had married a Hale so she came with a sizable dowry and inherited her parent’s house that they lived in.

When they moved to New Orleans, she had a photo that she kept in her sewing room. She could not put it where Grandfather could see it. Brought back too many unpleasant memories. Former glories and all that.

They had lived in Kansas City during their wealthy years. In River Market, overlooking the Missouri river. The house was limestone and had a grand driveway leading up to a front porch that stretched across the front and around on both sides. The photo was taken in the summer and there were plants of all types sitting out with white wicker furniture. You could have easily entertained a hundred people out there. The front of the house had thirty-three windows stretching across the front. I counted them one time when Grandmother was teaching me my embroidery stitches. Since it was her childhood home, she told some lively stories.”

“So how is it they ended up in New Orleans?”

“Because of their downfall, Grandfather said they could no longer live where anyone knew them.

Grandmother knew times were going to be tuff so she made the decision to move to N.O.

 Grandmother told fortunes from tea leaves, read palms and read folks auras. That was her egg money. Grandpa raised a few chickens and sold eggs to the local restaurants. And that was his folding money.”

“So Great-Great-Grandmother Hale had the gift?”

“Most assuredly,” Gran nodded at the memory. “I can remember her saying she told the old man to sell when someone wanted to buy the business. That the horseless buggy was going to take off and who would need a buggy whip? He laughed,  called her crazy and mortgaged the house and purchased another building and ramped up business, spending money like a wild man. Then along came Henry Ford and it was too late.”

“Men,” Sookie breathed out. “I guess that helps to explain Jason. It will be because I say so.

“He does come by it honestly,” Gran nodded in agreement.  “Oh good,” she said looking out the window, “Lafayette is here. Let me put the kettle on.”

Lafayette was made much over when he came into the house. Gran proudly showed him the dining room.

“Lordy, His La La Fineness says, I am blinded by the brilliance of the light setting aglow all that silver on the table! Gran, this looks His La La Fineness splendid! You has done peered into my brain and knows how I would like to set a tea table.”

“Well, thank you Lafayette,” she hugged him, again. “I used the book you gave me for Christmas, Tea & Me.”

“Yes ma’am,” he winked at her. “How the poor South does tea London style. You just gathers yours this and thats and it is just too pretty for words.

I am honored to be your guest.”

“Well,” she smiled, “I will be tea mum. And once we sample the things on the pyramid, there are one or two things to discuss. At any time, please feel free to leave.  I hate drawing you into this Lafayette, but we would like your perspective.”

“Besides,” Sookie locked gazes with him, “if somethin’ happens to me, you will need to take care of Gran.”

“What the fuck…?” he looked from one woman to the other. “I dids not bring my shot gun. Do I needs to go and gets it?”

“The tale is in the telling,” she sighed and passed the pitcher of honey liquor, “so fill your cup with this.”

Lafayette listened to the story not saying much and kept looking over at Sookie. “Knows your Druid ways, am much obliged when you let me sit in your stone circle out in the pecan grove. Did not realize you had a grimoire.”

“What?” Sookie put down her spoon. “We don’t have a book of spells.”

“If your ancestor kept notes, then this is her journal. And she was a Druid. So her written words hold power. Let’s just call it what it is. A grimoire.”

“Never thought of it that way,” Gran replied. “Wait one, and I will get it.”

Going into her bedroom, when she came back to the table, she handed the volume to Lafayette.

His eyes took in the ancient book and he nodded his head. “Never in my days did I think to see a medieval manuscript up close and personal. Tis a thing of beauty and power. Can feel it radiating out before I even holds it. Wood for the outer cover with a chain for wrapping around it and locking it that has long since gone missin’.

May I?” he asked Gran.

“Of course,” she replied.

“Gots to be respectful and asks permission. Don’t want to offer any offense.”

“Please, Lafayette,” she nodded, “you have my permission to open it and turn the pages and whatever else…” her hands fell helplessly at the table.  “I was taught to respect the earth and the things that grow and live upon it. To walk the stone circle and say my prayers when I was burdened. My mother said that was all there was to being a Druid. That is what I have passed down to Sookie. This book, this was just a diary that my ancestor kept.”

“More than one,” Lafayette turned his critical eye to it. “More than four hundred years old, Gran. Way older.”

Lafayette pushed his tea cup out of the way and then took the book from her. “You did goods and righteous, Gran, by our Miss Sooks. She walks the circle and thanks Jesus for her blessin’s,” Lafayette nodded his head and touched only the edges of the velum as he turned the pages. “Never in my days did I thinks I would touch such a thing of beauty. And worth,” his eyes once more rested on Gran. “Knows this is family, but if you ever needs money, contact Sotheby’s. They will auction it off for a fortune. As in you lives happily-ever-after in whatever expensive neighborhoods you wants. Would loves to take my time and peer through this work of art. But we got sundown comin’ on and the moon settin’.

So tonight, we knows if this hell mouth that opens in N.O. involves Sookie or not.”

“You will stay here and wait with us?” Sookie asked.

“You knows I will. When you goes to war, you always takes yous friends with you.”

They were all standing outside as the five o’clock hour ticked silently down.

“Moon is setting,” Lafayette said, looking at his watch. “Sun still sittin’ in the sky but has hidden itself behind the trees. All eyes on the night sky.”

“Stars are out,” Sookie’s voice was quiet. “Look how bright they are. Here comes dusk. I can see the purple giving way…what?” her voice halted. “Giving way to a river of stars…” she gasped.

“The Aurora Borealis,” in Gran’s voice was disbelief.

“A Viking dragon boat,” Sookie gasped out. “Do you see it?”

“Fuck…me…running…,” Gran’s voice shook.

“Lafayette?” Sookie managed to get out.

“Yes I do. It is sailing on that river of stars,” his voice was quiet as they all stood and watched.

When the earth was swaddled in darkness, the vision of


Aurora purple copy 3

the impossible that held them in its thrall was broken. The ship and the sea of stars it had been riding on was gone.

Meanwhile, standing outside admiring  the sky in Shreveport was a Viking vampire…reflecting on his life.

 “Fuck me running,” he breathed out in a heavy sigh as he watched the night sky and waited.

Fuck…he could see the twinkle of the purple lights begin! And there it was! The purple was rising!  His destiny…his family’s heritage!

You cannot,my Grandmother told me, escape your fate. She was leaving our village and going to a Druid henge in England where she would fight with her brother against the evil that wanted to crawl out and destroy his village.

Why you, I asked her.

Because our family did not destroy this villain when given the chance to do so. And this villain now brings evil to our world that would destroy us. Until we right this wrong, this is our war to fight.

Family…they will fuck you over every time. And continue to do so long after they are dead and you are still fighting the good fight. And Vikings, we keep our promises.

So here I am…fighting the good fight. And this will not be the first time I have stood in a henge and battled this bastard that comes to end us all. Somewhere out there, is a Druid relative, that will contact me and once more, we shall stand together and close the portal.

Fuck. Me. Running.

I am a vampire that is a thousand years old and I am out watching the night sky for a dragon boat that at least gives me enough warning to gather my friends and prepare for war!


And fuck the daylight! And the setting sun….and the rising sun! And whatever else thinks to dictate my life! And fuck th earth for spinning on its axis that sets all of this in motion and cheats me of my life that I live between sundown and sunrise!

From time-to-time I can cheat the vampire fate and keep my eyes focused on the dark that is overhead and not the setting sun that is behind me. Tonight, is such an occasion.  I am granted a reprieve so that I might watch the fates as they decide my destiny.  Fucking fates!

My destiny…seriously…I was to die in a glorious battle. And I almost did. I was on my funeral pyre; my friends were just waiting for me to gasp out my last.

Well, things do not always go the way you planned. I am a Viking that was turned vampire.

Honestly, I did not see that coming.

You might think that is the best of both worlds…one of the greatest warriors to walk the earth…and as a vampire, walk it forever.

Let me tell you something, forever is a mighty long time.

Those humans that are wanna-be vampires call us Immortal. The rest of the world knows there is no such thing as an Immortal.   All things die.  Or fade or wish themselves into nothingness.

Insanity works as well.

The first hundred years or so I was vampire,  I was insane; well according to Albert Einstein’s definition. I was doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.  When you are vampire there are no different results, just the passing of time and surviving.

And with the insane teaching of my maker, Godric, who meant well, but he was old when he turned me and had gone back to be something of an outraged animal himself, I survived very well.

At the time I was grateful to my maker but we had our cultural differences…

I was not content to sleep in the dirt like many of my comrades, to include my maker, because when I slept in the dirt, I dreamed of a stone circle and of the hymen blood of many virgins that stained its altar. It was a magnificent  dream for one so young and foolish as myself!

But I could not embrace the sublime while resting in the muck. For as a Viking race, we are very clean and the mud is impossible to wash out of my braids. And under my nails. There are those vamps that proudly leave blood under their nails. Barbarians!

And most of my fanged brethren think they are superior to all forms of faiths and creeds…at which I boldly roll my eyes at them because there is the matter of stone circles of which I am well acquainted….

My grandmother told me that stone circles are places of power. Some of it unspeakable. And to take an offering that is left there is to call down the anger of the gods that guard it. So perhaps that was another reason I did not wish this dream…but all the way down to my dick, I wanted a virgin on the altar stone in a stone henge. As a young vampire, I was always thinking with my little head.

“Hey you big oaf,” was yelled from his crotch. “Do not be pushing your stupidity off onto me! It is a good thing I am the brains of this outfit, or we would have been finally dead ages ago!”

For a moment I thought about whacking King Eric but what purpose would it serve?

Where was I, oh yes…

But insanity does not stop the young and foolish. Does not even count as an excuse.

In my first 100 young years as vampire, I was a blight  upon the earth. When the flowers grew a carpet of blue and the blood moon rose in the sky I would stare at this magnificent representative of who I am.

Centuries ago, along with my maker, I reigned supreme. For the first one hundred years, I was unstoppable! And I fucked and I killed.  And my name spread and with it came tribute, blood whores and those that wished to just admire me.  And truthfully, I was a lot to admire.  Robust, ruthless and renegade.  I bowed to no one and I took what I wanted.  The old vampire crown of the East thought to trap me in the daylight. I ate him and his many wives for breakfast before I retired to my day rest.  When they sent Weres after me, I skinned them alive and wore them for clothing.

Until in the year 1112…and then I was renegade no longer…because of my strength and the fierceness, I was crowned Sovereign de Vampyrand I was to rule my fanged brethren, forever! And in the deep recesses of my ego enflamed mind, I knew I could and I would and I should reign forever.  For I was supreme and my brethren, they did not want me to stop.  They told me to glory in my vampyrism and to incite them to do likewise.  They rallied to me and we bathed in the blood of the moon and humans.

Yes, oh so young and oh so foolish. Even I roll my eyes when I think back on those days.

And the seasons passed…spring, summer…and in the blackness of my soul, I watched for each leaf of autumn to wither and die and blow away. Leaving a bare, bleak, landscape. For winter was coming with its heavy snows and long dark hours that I could walk the earth! And I did!

Then all hail the ending of winter darkness and the coming of bloom filled nights of spring!  And welcome the blue flowers that perfume our nostrils in the night air and we gather to hiss at the blood moon that weeps great tears for with the tenderness of the first greenery,  it is The Time of the Feastand humans trembled with fear.  And wept and cried and pleaded for mercy!  But there would be no mercy.  For when the flowers bloomed blue and the night was pregnant with their sweet aroma, it meant that winter had passed and it was time to savor the sweetest of meat.

For humans, in their infinite wisdom, during the roar of snow and wind, locked their doors and when the light burned out, slipped beneath the covers and let their  baser instincts take over.  The need to procreate.  And they would sweat and groan and grunt and find release, until the male’s seed took and then sorrow filled the house.

For when the blue flowers bloomed, there would be one or two whose bellies would be swollen and they were left naked, chained to the outside of their stone circle.  And my pleasure I did take.

Sometimes the offerings were inferior, and I left them. You do not needlessly keepcattlefrom breeding.

And those I found worthy, I feasted on the full bellied until the babe was born! Then both child and mother became a part of my household. It was, indeed, good to be king…and I was very good at being king.

I was a handsome monster and a charming rouge that killed for sport and pleasure.  Until the night of the silver harvest moon in the year 1112…I was running my meal to ground that evening, one of my slaves having escaped.   This one that I terrorized, I knew her. I had known her mother when her belly carried this daughter and gave her life.

She was small but a fighter and a screamer and had broken off a branch that she would threaten me with each time she heard me rustle the leaves in the dark of the moon.

The fun was in the chase! And as calloused as I was, I was a bit surprised and somewhat excited she had challenged me.

As I approached her, I stopped. For there in the moonlight, you could see them, the rocks shining like teeth that the earth had grown.

This henge was small.  The stones small enough for her to carry and unless you were looking, and I was.  For the henge was not noticeable.

Note to self:  When the slaves come out to forage, they are to be watched at all times.

 I briefly wondered how long it had taken her to build this magic circle.

Not that it mattered now, I found myself amused.

She had taken Sanctuary inside the henge that she had built. And I was very sure she had pledged herself to each stone.

I admired her spirit greatly at that moment. Who knew how long she had labored at this circle and planned her escape? But there she sat, in the middle of it. And I bet myself that her ass was planted firmly on top of some type of altar stone. She just struck me as the type to be exact.

I enjoyed watching her and thinking about what I would do next to alarm her into screaming fits that I knew would dissolve into crying when she realized that all was lost. Oh for the long nights of winter! What a prize I had been given! I was going to have a virgin on top of an altar stone!

The clouds had been playing chase with the moon all evening, like a fox smiling at a rabbit, and now the moon was gone and the darkness was my friend and the woman’s enemy.  I did not laugh when the wolves began to howl and she sat crying, beating the stick on the ground, daring me to come and get her.

Well, who I was to disappoint and not fulfill her wish! The problem with small stones in a henge is that they can be kicked aside. Which I did.

And the magic begins to leak out.  Which it did!

I walked the stream of dissipating enchantment into the center and I could taste the stones once more, just becoming rocks from the earth.

I remember laughing as I hauled her up off the ground by the scruff of her neck.

That perhaps was a mistake.  I had forgotten about the stick she held in her hand.  She apparently had not.

Thrusting it up into my chest, I felt it hit my heart and I fell to the ground with a great and resounding thud.

Fucker,“ she hissed. “Meet the sun and die.”

The moon once more blessed this human spirit with its light and she stomped on my head with her wooden shoes before she left me…well yes, a head bloody sacrifice on an altar stone after all.

I did not move for fear of pressing the wood into my undead heart. I could feel the sun sending its warmth into the pre-dawn air.  And in the distance, I heard the sound of my child, calling for me. Frantic, terror in his voice!

Finding me, gently he cradled me and was weeping as he carried me back.

“How is it he is not dead,” they whispered as Rolf carried me into my home.

“What can we do to save him?” my child cried and pleaded.

“Cut it off and leave part of it in my chest,” I gasped. “Quickly child, before you and I sleep and I never wake, again.”

And so it was.  When I woke that new dark, my wound was healed, but I could feel the cleanness of the wood and the truth that was the tree.  Slipping from my chamber, I went to the creek and washed away the old that I had reveled in and looked down and saw my reflection in the moonlight, the Viking that I had been. My grandmother’s favorite. The one she had given the women’s magic, too.

I had no taste for blood or for killing or for fucking.  I felt human once more in a vampire’s body. To this day, I know it was the stone circle that had tasted my blood and had its way with me.

And when my child found me, he knew that I was no longer the scourge that had made him and he had no love for me.

“Abomination! Abomination! Abomination!” he kept screaming until vampyr found us and I feared for my life and ran…and ran…and ran…until I met my Brother Samuel who had the skill and the love to remove the wood from my chest.

And so I still wander the earth.  On silent, moonlit, star-filled nights, my first child’s screams still echo in my ears.

And the little blonde that staked me, she had courage and strength to build her circle where she knew she could defeat me if the gods willed it.

 I wish she had fucked my brains out, there on the altar stone, instead of beating them out with her wooden shoes.

But no such luck…

Here I am a thousand years later and still think like the young and foolish. By the gods, I would love a virgin on a stone altar, licking her virginial blood from her body and the rock, alike.  To ride her inside a henge while she screams my name as the orgasm overtakes her and I spew out my essence inside of her under a Blood Moon!

Damn the coming of this Blood Moon!

Not that it matters, I am a Viking and I keep the promise of my family.

Cheating the lights rays as the moon sets and once more I see the bridge to Valhalla blaze across the night sky. The drakbåt, sails…so I have my sign. With the eclipse of the Blood Moon comes the battle. The promise to my ancestor will be upheld.

There is no such thing as an Immortal. We all have an expiration date.

But before I was a vampire I was a Viking warrior. And I still am. Time to sharpen my sword and keep the promise of my family. To kill this one that would take free will and enslave us all. And to keep contained the evil that travels with him.  And perhaps this time we shall defeat it, so that my family can take the drakbåt to Valhalla and feast in its great hall.

Or not…because I will be fighting in a stone circle. And my experience to this date with them has not been a  pleasant one.

The Curse of the Eclipsing Blood Moon—Chapter 1

Banner The Curse of the Eclipsing Blood Moon

The characters of the Southern Vampire Mysteries belong to Miss Charlaine Harris. No infringement on my part is intended. The characters on True Blood belong to Mr. Alan Ball. No infringement on my part is intended.

I have no BETA, editor, or other such charming person. All mistakes are my own. This Story is rated M.


The Curse of the Eclipsing Blood Moon

Chapter 1

For two people to be so much unalike and yet so much in love was truly a gift from the gods!

They lived this truth everyday…the love that had fostered and grown between them since they were children.

Cathain was a Viking.

Hale was a Druid.

He was tall.

Hale was short.

He ruled within the law, but justice was always swift.

She did not care for politics, but knew it was crucial to the well-being of their village. The law, she did not always find favor with it and sometimes a dead villain was better than a live one clamoring for his rights. Perhaps she had helped more than one to the other side of the veil with some well placed poison in their last meal. It was better than slitting their throat on the altar stone.

Perhaps she should feel guilty about that but she did not.  She did not cheat the altar stone, who would want that foul blood?  And dead was blissfully dead.

This place by the coast was where she called home and found herself to be at peace, although, sometimes it was short lived. Because there was always something evil lurking about.

Her job was to be the Seid for her village and the stone circle that stood watch over their village. And she took it seriously. If you did not, evil would rain down on you.

And because she was the Seid, it was her job to deal with it. You had no time to be frightened of things that you could see. Her sword dealt with those things just fine. It was the things that you could not see in the dark of the moon. Those evils she knew as well and so she walked her path with power and reverence for those things around her.

Hale had never left her native land on the island that she called home. She had no need. Her magics walked here with her and she called down the rain from the sky and the mist from the ground to fortify the growing things that surrounded her. She talked to nature and those that lived in the woods responded in kind and also gave her warning!

Their fire was always bright and cheery and all was welcome to warm their hands, there. And when the fire roared its sparks, that gave her warning as well!

It had been a long month. She was glad it was over and her world back to rights.

The day was getting long in the tooth. She had accomplished much, but night was coming and she must still be outside. Opening their front door, the parent stones stood straight and tall; just as she was to stand straight and tall!

Her man was the clan chieftain and was hers to love with all that she was! He was bold and brave and fierce and loved her with all of his being. And he held to duty. Home not even on day…and…

he still sat at the council fire. Things had gone to shit while he was gone. They always did. His younger brother could not keep the Thompson brothers from wanting to burn down their home and build a new one. So they had started a fire and it had taken the entire village to put it out.

“Just what the fuck!” she muttered. “Let them die of exposure when winter howls. My husband sits with these fools, wanting the village to help them rebuild!”

Cathain did not always understand her and what flowed through her veins. His people were not native to this land, but  had settled here long ago. He had been born here, not in the cold, windswept forests that backed down to the sea. Her man held to truth and justice. And when he had taken the oath to marry her, she had insisted that he pledged to fight evil where ever it wanted to find succor.

That is what had taken him from home this past month. He had been gone, to Eire.

Just yesterday, he and his men had returned. They had hunted a great evil named Abhartach. Her husband said they gave him chase and this monster called down stairs from the stars outside a henge and made his escape.

“That I should live to hear of  such an outrage to nature,” she sighed.

Last night, she had hoped to find release with his body in hers. Instead, he was troubled and they had talked through the night. He told her that Abhartach might have started out as an evil man, that had been slain by his village folk, but now he was an evil being that called upon the dark magics and still walked among them and summoned the stars to escape!

“I put my sword, through him, Hale,” he said quietly, the night giving way to the birds’ song of morning. “Dead. He was dead. And the next night, I saw him kill a woman and began to eat her. I killed him, again. This time, I cut off his head.”

“Such crimes against nature,” she had held him and said softly.

So, upon rising,  she had written poetry upon their door thanking the gods for his return to her.

The day had been long and she had thought about his words. As the sun walked through their forest, her mind had tarried on what was needed to safe guard their village and which dead to consult that would give guidance.  She would welcome the passing of the sun and the darkness and her husband’s arms.

It was early in the evening. The birds were singing the last of their songs. She took comfort in her gardening rituals while she listened to the life around her ready for bed.

Tonight, they would feast on berries. Training the berry vines to grow outside their door had been a very small something but she was greatly rewarded with their fruit. With her basket at her side, she began to pick and tomorrow she would dry them in the sun so that they would have them when the snows returned. With the last rays of the sun, she would write the spell upon the henge to keep evil out and goodness walking in their village.

“Blessed greetings Hale,” she heard the untruth in his voice and felt for the knife at her side. He blessed no one but himself. And he certainly did not wish for her continue good prosperity.

“Birger,” she replied as she continued picking with one hand. She did not like him. Never had. Not since he was a child that fancied himself too good to work, his widowed mother allowing lazy ways because of his fatherless plight and how she needed him at her side to fetch her things and be her eyes. Two of a kind, she thought. Her always crying about how she needed and there was no one to supply.

There was something inherently faithless about him. An unpleasant odor that clung to him. He pledged duty to no one and yet wanted the wealth of the village when on Midsummer they shared what they had with each other.

“Your berry vines are the envy of the village,” he smiled as he approached.

“They are just berries, nothing to be envious of,” she replied as she continued to pick. “The woods are full of them.”

“But you have trained them next to your door. That is very handy. Your husband is a lucky man to have you for a wife. You run his farm very well and always profit from your sale of livestock and mead. Your bee hives are very prosperous, as well.”

There it was, that whine in his voice. He wanted bee hives but was too lazy to build a skep for them. “The reason that our,” she stressed, “farm is so prosperous is that I do not waste my time on idle chatter. What are you doing here, Birger? I am at task and have much to accomplish before my husband returns from settling disputes in the village. And with the calling of the dark, I have the Runes that must be placed upon the henge.”

She could see it on his face. Distrust of the stones and what lived there.

“O’ lady of the henge,” he began. “I have been having dreams. Great and powerful dreams! They reach to the stars and I speak with the dead in these dreams. And they warn me of terrible times to come. I, I wish to be a Seid so that I might understand these visions.”

“Visions? Men do not have visions!

So?” she chuckled. “You jest. No man seeks a woman’s spiritual domain. How feminine of you,” she shook her head in disbelief. “Does your mother know of this betrayal of your masculinity? That she has raised a daughter and not a son?”

He was fuming. She could see the light eek out of his aura. It was low and stingy and colored with something that smelled like and resembled shit.

“You are a powerful seeress. And I wish to know the joy of seeing the future.”

“Joy?” she stared at him. “There is no joy in knowing the outcome of a life. I hope to bring peace to a grieving soul. Perhaps understanding. But joy? I cannot give what does not live within.”

“That is foolishness,” he laughed at her. “In my dreams, Hale, I do bring joy. And long life. I can be so much more than I am now. I know it is within my power to call down the stars. And I am without question true to this quest.”

“Call down the stars?” she pulled her knife and stood staring at him. “True to this quest…” she took a step toward  him. “Has this anything to do with your time in Eire? This demon that you hunted? The one that lives in the stars and left by them?”

“What?” he stuttered. “No, of course not.”

“You accompanied your chief and the war party of this village to slay this monster, Abhartach.  The brute that dwells with evil and kills all those that he deems not worthy or for sport.

Did you meet him while you were there?” she asked, peering into his eyes.

“No,” he took a step back from her and looked down at the ground. “No, of course not! I stood by my liege. At all times…I am faithful to my land, my home and my village,” he yelled at her. “Do not curse me with your women’s ways,” he shook his fist at her. “I will seek council about what is to be done about you. I seek your council and you pull a knife on me!”

“By all means,” she set her basket on the steps. “Let us go now. Cathain is sitting in council. I am very much interested to hear just how much time you spent at his side and not seeking out your own reward.”

“You are the evil one here, you whoring bitch,” he yelled at her as picked up a fallen limb and approached her.

There was the low rumble of death behind him. He froze, terror now lurking in his heart! It was Cathain’s hounds! Which meant their master could not be far behind!

“Do you threaten my wife?” they both heard the voice that belonged to the clan chief.  “Birger, what is this about? I see you holding a limb as if to club her with it and my wife has pulled her knife. My dogs are snarling and snapping and regarding you as if you are their evening meal. And If you think to hit my wife with that limb, you will most assuredly be their evening meal.

I would suggest that we go back to the council fire and we can discuss this.”

The sun was going down. Could he stall? He could not run, not with the dogs, but the moon was already up and fortune looked upon him!

“No husband,” Hale shook her head. “Kill him now. I must mark the henge! There is mischief afoot. I fear evil has followed him back to our village. He speaks of being a Seid and calling down the stars.”

“No,” Birger laughed. “I am a man. What foolishness is this? I suspect your wife has been drinking the mead she brews.”

“Before the sun sets,” her voice was intense. “Can you not feel it? It is coming…it is coming for him. Evil, he has brought back evil! Kill him outside the henge so that his blood is not upon the altar stone!”

“Wife,” he called after her as she ran into the house. “You know I cannot slay out of hand an equal of good standing…”

In a run she came out of their home.

“I will scatter the tin,” she said when she returned with a horn full of small tin pebbles the size of the tip of her smallest finger.

“No,” Birger yelled. “No,” as the sun set and the moon began an unearthly glow.

This was his time! His! Pledging his soul to Abhartach, he had been granted a boon. “Master please,” he cried out, “send the blood moon so that I might escape!”

The moon changed to  red and from the henge came a horrible howling.

“No-o-o-o,” Hale yelled as she ran around the stones, dropping the precious metal onto the ground and the stones and scattering it out before her.  Once the henge was safe, carrying her knife, she charged into the henge  cursing the false lights that wallowed about in the sky!

Cathain was cursing this thing as well, her husband behind her!

A night sky that they did not recognize was hovering above a set of stairs! Down the steps charged the evil of her dreams!  A man that resembled a beast that should not have been given life! And with him came things that did not resemble humans!

 Cathain pulled his sword and together they slashed at anything that moved, those of the otherworld’s dying yowls filling the night with death and pestilence!

“You stupid bitch!” Birger laughed as he ran up the stairs and into the stars. “So you destroyed these pitiful nothings! Next time, we will be better prepared! You cannot guard every henge and my master and I, we shall be back. I curse you and your kin! May the sons and daughters to come be lost forever as they wander the stars and never find succor or rest! They shall fight us all of their days. And while our numbers grow mighty, yours will grow weaker until we rule the world! I will be  Seid! The most powerful one of all. And you kin shall bless me with this power while I bathe in their blood!”

Cathin started up the stairs after him only to watch the strange night sky vanish, as he fell back to the earth, landing next to her.

Kneeling down beside him, she checked him for harm. As he righted himself, he managed to get out, “I am fine. Bruised but not broken.”

The smell of the unholy filled their nostrils, causing both of them to puke.

As their moon climbed in the sky, the rot that was around them dissipated.

 When they were once more able to stand under their moon and sky, her husband  took her hands and fell to his knees.

“I am sorry I doubted you. I should have slain Birger when I saw him threatening you. What have we given life, too?”

“Evil,” her reply was monotone. “His master is Abhartach.”

“What?” Cathain came up off his knees.

“Yes, the evil that you slew that will not remain dead. Birger has pledged himself to him. He wants to be a Seid and rule the world.

There is nothing I can do about that. But using the Triad, I can set limitations. Since he used nature to escape, I can bind him to an eclipsing blood moon, the henge it speaks, too, and that our family must be present. Male and female so that we might someday right this wrong.

It will be our family’s duty to protect the earth from the evil that wishes to slither out and rule. Woe to them,” her voice was broken. “Our children shall never find peace.”

Sookie was sitting outside on the porch swing enjoying sundown. The air temperature had cooled and there was a breeze keeping the bugs, away. Winter in the South was not like Winter in the North. There were no blazing reds or oranges on the leaves to announce Fall’s arrival or snow to celebrate on Christmas Day.

It was the first of the year and the roses were still looking good.

She had worked two shifts at Merlotte’s, today, and she was to the bone, tired. She had done nothing but work two shifts since the New Year. Folks calling in sick or hung over and Sam called her to come in and cover for them.

“I hate to sound like I am not grateful,” she said out into the universe, pushed her shoulders back, trying to stretch out some muscles in her shoulders, neck and back. “But just damn…”

Gran came out and sat down beside her. Popping open a beer, she handed one to Sookie and then opened one for herself.

“Thanks, Gran,” she eyed the woman who never drank beer, only whiskey when she had a mind to celebrate some big occasion.

They sat on the porch swing and the creaking of the chain kept them company while they pushed back and forth with their feet.

Sookie looked over at the woman who had raised her and her brother after their parents had died. Gran was not drinking her beer. Just slowly moving the tab back and forth in time to the rocking.

“Gran, somethin’ weighin’ on you?” she asked.

“Yes,” she nodded. “Not for real sure where to start.”

“Somethin’ bad?” Sookie was now watching her face closely.

“Yes,” she nodded.

“Do I want to know?”

“Probably not, but this has everything to do with you Sookie, and so it has fallen on me to explain it all to you. And I know you are tired and it is not fair but just damn…” she sobbed out. “I cannot put this off any longer.”

“Do we need something stronger than beer?” she asked, taking her hand.

“Yes,” Gran nodded with a heavy sigh. “Let’s move inside. I think maybe the kitchen table. That way, we can keep the bottle handy and if you want to gut me with a knife, it will be right there. Hell, I would even welcome it at this point, but that is just a coward’s way out.”

“What?” Sookie stared at the older woman. “Gran you are no coward!” she said with passion.

“Thank you dear, but it is in the telling, Sookie, and time is wasting. Let’s get inside and get started.”

When the whiskeys had been poured, they both sat down and picking up their glasses, said their toast. “To the Stackhouse women,” and downed their glass. Gran poured them another round and leaned back in her chair.

“Sookie, did you like the movie, The Guardians of the Galaxy?”

Shrugging, she replied, “Well, yes, it was funny and cute and taught a lot of moral lessons.”

“What about Jupiter Ascending?”

“Yes, I enjoyed watching that one as well. Both had strong women, and pretty good script writing. The story lines were not bad and were entertaining and the bad guys got theirs in the end. You know Gran, the only reason I go to  a movie anymore is to be entertained. To sit in air-conditioned comfort and eat popcorn and drink my soda and laugh or maybe cry a bit.”

“Yes,” Gran nodded. “Myself as well. And maybe to learn something about, you know, things,” she hesitated on that thought, “I might need to know.”

“What things?” Sookie eyed her.

“We Hale women,” she began slowly, “we have a special calling.”

“Yes,” Sookie nodded in agreement.  “I know our history. Our people came over from England. Cornwall. They were Druids.  They had great skill at reading the night sky and also great skill as warriors.

That is why I am a telepath. In the past, it was considered a great power. I wish I could say that was still true, today.”

“Yes,” Gran nodded, taking her hand. “I know it has been a hindrance to you.

But, there was something else that was passed as well on the warrior side. And I honestly thought I could side-step this but I cannot.

So I will just begin at what I know to be the beginning…

The name Hale is not English. It is Viking. It means valley. Our female Druid ancestor married a Viking.

They were a powerful team. According to our legends, some mistakes were made along with promises. It involved a Blood Moon and a stone henge.  Husband and wife fought as a team. Both with swords drawn and spewing curses. There was a male  that called on the evil that lives between the two worlds and escaped up the stairs. When her Viking tried to follow him, the stairs disappeared but took with it the curse that they had flung at it before it disappeared and all that was left was the night sky.

Words were exchanged between husband and wife. Promises made. That when the Blood Moon should shine down on a henge, the veil between the worlds would shift and they could once more hunt the evil that would destroy our world.

And when a Viking gives his word, he believes that if that promise is not fulfilled, that it will carry with him into the grave and he will sit at the gates of Valhalla and be denied entrance until his family fulfills his promise.

That is why, Sookie, you are a telepath. This passes from one woman in our family to the next because we promised we would keep that gaes, this vow we had made that this bestowal of power would continue forward. So that the curse of the Blood Moon might be broken. And this monster that defies death would be brought to justice.”

“Gran, you know I love you. And I know you believe what you believe. And you know I do not look upon this as a super power from the past.”

“Yes, dear, I know. But the telepath links you back to Hale, the first lady of our family.”

Gran carefully folded and refolded the napkin that was on the table.”

“There is going to be an eclipse of a blood moon.”

“Yes,” Sookie nodded. “Been in the news. Even the folks at work are talkin’ about it. Tryin’ to figure out how to take the best pictures of it.

Why? You honestly think this got somethin’ to do with us?”

“I have been reading the first Sookie’s journal. She only dates back about four hundred years but it is at least something. And she spends time discussing this eclipse. It appears to crest in different henges all over the world. So, yes, this eclipse has everything to do with us.

According to the casters in New Orleans, it is going to reach its zenith over a small henge off the coast of  New Orleans.

Now, according to the journal, when the moonlight hits that circle, an opening will form and all the bad things that have been locked behind a doorway, or portal, or another dimension, call it what you will, will come streaming out, looking to bring mischief, mayhem and murder. And also the evil one that escaped Hale and her husband that they vowed their family would bring to justice.”

“What? Gran no. That henge in N.O. was built on a lark. It is only about five years old. You know, all those folks in New Orleans got together and pitched in money  and sent for those Druids out of Wales to come over here and build them a stone circle. You know, a real photo op for the magics in N.O.”

“No, Sookie,” she shook her head to emphasize her point. “They sacrificed mead, millet and a maidenhead on that altar stone. The henge is up and running. And the stone circle will be looking for its warriors to defend it from the evil that will try and push through. We are Hale’s descendants. Our first mother promised her Viking husband that we would defend our henge against evil and bring to justice the one that would betray us all. All the daughters that followed, she promised us to this task, also. Family,” Gran closed her eyes and shook her head. “I am sorry, Sookie, truly. I love you and one of us is required to be there to help defend the henge. I would not ask you to do this.”

“I know you would not,” Sookie’s voice was quiet. “But it has to be the one with the gift,” she shuddered. “Correct?”

Gran wiped the tears from her eyes and finally nodded yes.

“Gran,” Sookie was shaking her head.  “Seriously…and…and…”

Pausing, she took a deep breath and let it out. “So this falls to me.” The Sookie that worked triple shifts and helped to harvest the pecans and clipped coupons sat up straighter.

“I know our Druid ancestors took an oath to protect the land. To protect the wildlife. To protect the people that dwelled here from  evil.

But really, Gran…this doorway between worlds really does open?” her voice trailed off and Sookie picked up her glass and emptied it and poured herself another. “Are we talkin’ a hell mouth?”

Gran shrugged. “That is kinda what it sounds like. But I don’t know if they are escaping from hell or not. What Sookie the First says is that there will be a staircase that you will see overlooking a strange night sky with our eclipsing blood moon shining down on you. You will not be alone in this fight. There will be other champions there to help you, to help you defeat those that would end our world. And a male relative. This is part of the spell she spoke.

When you have vanquished the enemy, you will take the stairs down, back to our time and place and when the eclipse is over, the henge will once more be locked for another,” she shrugged, “perhaps thousand years. That is a guess on my part. This first Sookie did not know how to gauge the time of it.”

“Gran,” Sookie took a drink. “Really?”

“Yes,” she nodded. “As the eclipse draws closer, your powers will increase. And after the battle, you will go back to being yourself.”

“What kind of powers?” Sookie asked.

“Well, the legends get a little hinky about that. Everything from blue lightning being thrown from your hands to you having all the moves of those superheroes.  You know, Kung Foo, karate, knife throwing…”

“So I what, show up in New Orleans at the henge? Wait for the stairs to appear and then go forth and conquer?”

“Something like that,” she nodded.

“And if the stairs do not appear?” Sookie asked.

“Then have a wonderful night in New Orleans, which I will pay for and motor on home the next day.”

“And if the stairway does appear?” she asked.

“Kick ass,” Gran replied with a heavy sigh. “Sookie, this is so unfair.  Let me do this.”

“No,” Sookie shook her head vehemently. “You just had a heart attack. Doc said you are to rest and not worry or stress about anything.”

“Then I will go with you,” she pleaded taking Sookie’s hand.

“Gran, then I would be stressing about you and not the task at hand. And God knows I am going to be behind the learning curve. Besides, Doc said for you to stay off the stairs. So I will go and call you before and after.”

“Sookie,” tears welled up in her eyes.

“Gran, we know how fucked up our family is. So why not this? Actually, it kinda makes sense. Parents died young. Brother who is a whore. Cousin who is a whore and a druggie. Uncle who is a pedophilia,” she sadly shook her head. “Not many there that I would say I am proud to know.”

Her gran looked so sad. So downcast. Time to move on.

“And I am a telepath. And maybe a warrior,” she grinned at this woman that she dearly loved.

 “Do we know what the sign is?” Sookie asked.

“Those that are to fight, they get their own personal invitation. In the dark of the moon before the eclipse, there will be a drakbåt, the legend says, a dragon boat that is waiting for the outcome of the battle. So If there is no longboat, all of this just might be a moot point,” Gran smiled ruefully. “The eclipse in not until the 20th. We just passed the New Year. The New Moon is tomorrow night. So between now and then, if we get no sign, then we are free and clear.”

“No foolin’,” Sookie looked perplexed. “Gran, this could just be a great big practical joke one of our ancestors  thought would be funny. So ha ha in advance. Let’s just wait and see. I mean really, a dragon boat? I just don’t see a Viking sailing up in one of those and offering us a ride to N.O.”

Gran just shrugged. “I agree. But, odd happens. So I guess we will be outside tomorrow night looking for a dragon boat.”

“You think we need anything special?” Sookie asked. “I mean, is this like Santa? Do we need to have a bottle of mead? Or some type of European beer? What do you think?”

“Maybe we should go to a liquor store in Shreveport,” Gran was thoughtful. “And you know, purchase a small bit of this and that.”

“Sounds like a good plan. Do you want me to drive?”

“No, I can drive. You have been working some long hours. You just rest and I will get us there.  And let’s eat dinner out someplace. I feel like being waited on.”

“I could do with some of that,” Sookie nodded in agreement. “Let’s grab our things and go. I hear folks talking about the Around the World Liquorstore. Let’s look up their address and we can call them and see if they have anything that would be deemed worthy by a Viking.”

Around the World Liquor’swas exactly what they were looking for! They had been told over the phone that they had fifty-seven foreign beers, hundreds of wines and yes, they had mead and other fine drinks from above the Arctic circle.

Pulling into the parking lot, it looked like many of the tired old buildings in town that could use a new paint job.

“In we go,” Gran eyed the sign that blinked OPEN, like it was winking at her!

“I have a good feeling about this,” she nodded and admired the old rock step that had served ladies who were getting into and out of their carriage.

“Buggy whips,” she grinned to herself and in they went. “They can take you to some odd places.”

“Look Gran,” Sookie called out. “Aquavit. You know, the stuff the Norwegians ship past the equator to Australia and back and it has in it all the herbs from the different countries the Vikings conquered. You should see all the stuff that is in this.”

“I think that would make a nice offering,” she said picking up a bottle. “Let’s get this and this bottle of mead. I think if the boat shows, we’ll be prepared.”

Sookie and Gran talked on the way home. Good days, better days, best days. As Sookie drifted in and out of sleep, they both avoided talking about the two bottles that were in the trunk. Neither one knew what to think or to expect. But both of them knew it paid to be prepared.

It was not until they took the turn-off for Bon Temps that the conversation once more came back around to their ancestor that had been name Hale.

“What do you think she was like?” Sookie asked.

“I think she had hopes and dreams, Sookie, just like any other woman. Her life was a lot harder, as far as food and protection goes, so her dreams had to be a lot bigger. Besides food and shelter,  I am sure she wanted to watch her children grow up, her husband to return home to her and to die a good death. Her religion and politics would have been a part of her life as well. In a small community, there just never seems to be any getting away with that.”

“Do you think she was a priestess, or did magic?”

“Well, she was something with power and for sure, she was married to a Viking. Fought this evil thing that still haunts us today. So between the two of them, they made promises and here we are today. Still going to war against evil if this longboat shows up.”

“What time is moon rise?” Sookie asked.

“It rises on the 5th at 7:05 and sets at 4:59.”

“It will be dark, or pretty close to it, both times.”

“Sun is up at 7:17 and sitting on the horizon at 5:23.”

Sookie looked over at her grandmother. “You have known for a while this was comin’…”

“Yes,” the older woman sighed. “Yes I did. I just kept hoping…I don’t know for what. That maybe it was a joke. Or someone’s drug addled brain. Or maybe they fancied themselves to be a writer and just made shit up.

Then a part of me has been nagging me non-stop to tell you. After all, you carried the telepath, so that part was true. And the responsible part of me said it was time to come clean. I mean, what if it is all true?”

“And you think I am one of the defenders of the home world?” Sookie laughed.

“Well yes,” Gran looked over at her. “Why not?”

“Gran, I love the fact that you have that kind of faith in me. And I am a pretty good shot with Grandpa’s revolver and shot gun. But I don’t know about takin’ on a bunch of somethings that come up out of a hell-mouth. Or down the stairs, or whatever!  That sounds more like Lafayette.”

“Sookie,” she began quietly. “You saved my home world, you know that right? I would be dead if you had not been sitting there with me on the couch when the attack meant to take my life. And then, taking care of me when I came home. It has been a long haul, but I am back to driving and doing for myself. You gave me back my home world, Sookie. So yes, you can save worlds.”

“I love you Gran,” she said in a whisper.

“I know dear. And I count on that love. And your goodness. And I know there will be champions there with you. God would not leave you alone to do this. Just maybe Lafayette is one of them?”

Sookie chuckled. “Lordy, I can see him now all pirated-up and looking like a million bucks! His eye make-up is just the best.”

Gran laughed right along with her. “Well, I would feel a lot better if he went with you.”

“Well, let’s get past tomorrow night. We can invite him over and if the boat is a no show, we can all have a good laugh and get drunk.”

Before Sookie went to bed that night, she called Lafayette and left him a message. “Come for afternoon tea, tomorrow at four. Gran and I have a most delightful story to tell you. Hats are required! And all the magic you can muster!”

Epilogue: Talk to Me—Chapter 16—Compliments of The Viking

talk to me coveere page

 Talk to Me —Chapter 16—Compliments of The Viking

The characters of the Southern Vampire Mysteries belong to Miss Charlaine Harris. No infringement on my part is intended.The characters on True Blood belong to Mr. Alan Ball. No infringement on my part is intended.

I have no BETA, editor, or other such charming person. All mistakes are my own. This Story is rated M.

Chapter 16

Catherine was having fun…actual fun…she could not fathom it but yet, her she sat in her home away throneand she was having a good time. She was pleased to be here and those handsome young men that had danced with her and then sexed her up…why…who knew such delights were to be had in the New World? This was just the very best of times!

Richard, that very dull child she had made had taken himself off to search for her lover. Or at least, if he wished to continue with his undead life, he would do so. And he would smile! Something warm and wonderful and heartfelt!

She wished there was some way for him to share in the elation that she was feeling! There was a warm tingling sensation that was causing her entire body to flush! Why….she giggled, she even felt warm and wet down in her girly parts! What was that about? Lifting her hand to brush back a curl, a most delicious aroma wafted off it. Why? Why was that what those randy rascals on the boat had left on her hand? The smell was delicious and bringing her hand closer to her mouth, ever so slightly she reached out with her tongue and licked where those naughty boys and deposited their load of sweet essence to be remembered. Lost in that happy glow, she let herself relax into the chair and dream it was Eric who had spent himself in her hand! That he had treasured her and had trusted her enough to allow himself release in her hands!  That he lay next to her and wrote his name with his dick on her leg, leaving a trail of his sweet cum. “I would never bathe that off,” she sighed  to herself as she imagined Eric sitting with her in the chair. His arms wrapped around her while she sat in his lap and he kissed the back of her neck with passion and fervor! That he wished for nothing more than to be at her side, while they planned their long and exceptional lives together!

Another sigh escaped her lips as Richard pulled out another chair and sat down. Yes…her child…the New Yorker that was  never happy, always bitching child.

“What is wrong with your face?” she asked. “Did you stick your finger in a light socket?”

Richard said nothing. It would do him no good. That was her go-to line. She had once seen a vamp stick their finger in a light socket. She had been terrified and laughed hysterically, even after the fried vamp had been removed. “Note to self,” he cautioned,  “electricity always wins.

Splinters,” he replied. “I removed them. They called me foul names and wished me ill while I plucked them out.”

“Do you have any luck at all?” She asked smiling at him and patted his hand.

“Well, I did not end up in a hell mouth, so I would consider that lucky.”

Catherine laughed out loud. “Well good for you!” she snorted. “A hell mouth! My child, what a most excellent story! Is Eric hosting a scavenger hunt? Must I find this hell mouth and bring something back to prove I have been there and am not a coward so that I might win the price that will be given by my lover?”

Richard thought about a snarky reply…then he thought about telling her the truth… “Fuck no to the truth,” he smiled to himself. “Maybe I can get her down there after all.”

“Yes, a scavenger hunt,” he nodded. “I brought back a bottle of wine from the wine cellar. Left it at the bar. I have all sorts of points racked up beside my name. Whoever has the most points at the end gets Eric for the rest of this dark.”

“Fibber,” she grinned. “Now, have you seen Eric and sent him this way?”

“I have not seen Eric but I did see his child. We chatted as she escorted me out of the wine cellar and locked the door behind me.”

“She have anything good to say about her maker? As I remember her, she runs at the mouth as she casts those cheap whore eyes over you, looking for anything on your person that is out of place.”

“Well that would depend on your point of view. For you, my queen, I do not think you would consider it good news.”

“How so?” she remarked, leaning in closer. “I consider any news about him to be good. So tell me what you have learned.”

Richard blinked. His queen could not have imagined this! He was not sure he believed it. Pamela did have a tendency to fuck you over any chance she got.

“Stop it and talk to me!” she snarled. “You are ruining my fun!”

Fun! Ha! What did she know of fun? Glare at him, would she. Well, after all, she did ask for it. “He is married to a breather.”

“I am not finding your sense of humor to be funny,” she retorted. “Now, if you say it again,” she took his hand in hers and crushed all the bones, “I will bring you the true death. Now apologize to me for your sick, twisted, sense of humor and for trying to ruin my good mood.”

“I am so sorry, my queen,” he said bowing his head. “I am indeed a loathsome creature, not worthy of being your child or vampire.”

“Get out of my sight,” she hissed at him and shewed him away with her hands.

“Of course,” he said bowing and he continued to bow as he backed away from her.

“There goes my pleasant disposition, he drained the joy right out of me! I cannot have one amusing moment. No, I am denied the smallest amount of pleasure,” she sniffled dabbing at her eyes. Then reality squeezed her tight until she thought she might faint! “What have you done?” she wailed at herself. “Who is going to find Eric for me now? I sent Richard away and now…now…” she could feel the tears beginning to well up in her eyes.

In the distance, she could see that tall, good looking Were that had admitted her. Watching him, she felt the smile return to her face. He was talking to someone in a headset as he moved about the crowd.

“He was very charming and polite,” she sighed. “And good looking in a dark and brooding Were sort of way.” Standing, vamp speed she was over to him.

“Hello,” he turned to her and smiled as she came up to him. “Have you been haunted yet?” and the grin lit up his face.

“What?” she took a step back.

“I have heard from more than one guest that the Fresh Deads have invited themselves into the party.”

“What?” she said worriedly, looking around.

“It is,” he leaned his head down to her, “the responsibility of the staff to talk up the supernatural aspects of this evening and to make sure if you are here for a good fright, that you get one.”

“Oh,” she nodded in understanding, “not real…” she took a deep breath and let it out. With a smile on her face, she continued on. “You called them Fresh Deads, but it is really  just fun house tricks and gadgetry. Like the Vikings on the door knocker.”

“I can neither confirm or deny that,” he smiled at her. “It is All Hallow’s Eve and the dead walk and spooks roam.”

“Do you know,” she smiled sweetly, “is Eric here tonight?”

“Yes,” Alcide nodded. “I have seen him once or twice out on the dance floor. And once or twice back in the kitchen. For some reason, he had to oversee the popcorn machine.”

“Why would he do that?” she said, startled. “I would think he would have people to do that.”

“Oh he does. But this was something about the dragon who is applying the flame to the kettle wanting a bottle of tequila and he would not drink what they sell to the patrons. He wants top shelf all the way.”

“Now you are funning with me,” she grinned. “Yes, I know,” she patted his arm, “you can neither confirm or deny. Of course there is a dragon, it is All Hallow’s Eve.”

“Yes ma’am,” he replied with a bow of his head. “Now if you will pardon me, I am needed out on the loading dock. Apparently, the gargoyles are fussing over the new kegs that have just been delivered.  A keg of porter was sent and not the IPA they wanted.

“Gargoyles,” she stifled a chuckle.

“Yes,” Alcide nodded. “Normally, they are perched up there,” he pointed to the ledges over-looking Fealty Hall. “And like to throw popcorn down on the patrons. But, there is no popcorn being thrown…”

“Because of the dragon and the lack of good tequila…” she added.

“Correct and they wanted to be paid in IPA and not porter, so there will be no popcorn thrown even if the dragon comes on board or not. So I must take myself out back and get the IPA here so there will be popcorn.”

“If you see Eric, would you please tell him Catherine is looking for him.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he grinned. “It would be my pleasure to do so,” he said, raising her hand to his lips and kissed it.

“How do you feel about living in Russia,” she grinned at him.

“Cher, I do good to speak our French mother tongue. I just do not think I could wrap my tongue around Russian.”

“Pity,” she winked at him as she turned and went back to her chair, sashaying as she walked and smiling and waving to the crowd as she passed them by.

Alcide was back on the loading dock when Pam appeared beside him. “That skank!” she hissed. “I heard her invite you to wrap your tongue around all things mother Russia! I am pulling her fangs and sticking them up her ass!

And you kissed her hand,” she glared at him.

Alcide took a step toward her and placed one hand on her ass and another on her breast.

“You cannot sweet talk your way out of this,” she snipped at him as he slowly slid his hand off her breast and moved it around to her other butt cheek. “You smell like her!”

Pulling her up onto his crotch, he leaned into her and licked her lower lip.

“Or lick me to death, either,” she groused, as his tongue slowly conquered her neck and then pulling her up and onto his shoulders, her skirt was moved out of the way as he mouth made contact with her clit.

“Yes, okay,” she moaned and ground into him, “you can lick me to death…”

Alcide felt her thighs tighten around his neck as she sobbed and then she slid down the front of his body. “Now,” he licked her lower lip, “I smell like you.”

“A vast improvement,” she replied as she straightened her skirt. “You may escort me back in.”

Offering her his arm, she placed her hand on a well-muscled    upper arm and placing her hand on the scanner, the door opened.

“I thought Catherine was the all time Queen Bitch,” Alcide closed the door behind them. “I have actually seen her smile like she means it.”

“Momma Sookie,” Pam nodded. “The boys in the boat, courtesy of Momma Sookie’s sparking and hand waving, they are packing happy juice. As soon as it touches your skin, it absorbs like a very fine and expensive cream, giving you an entire new outlook on life. It will last until around one-ish and then her sour, dirt dragging unhappy ass will be back.”

“No foolin’,” he chuckled.

“No fooling,” she replied as she pulled him down for a kiss that was flavored with the most exquisite perfume he had ever smelled or tasted. When they broke apart, there was a second when he could see her…the hurt she had endured…the hope that lived there now…before the mask dropped back into place. “Now,” she slapped him on the ass, “get back to work.”


“How are we doing?” Eric asked as he and Sookie strolled arm-in-arm up to the bar.

“Very well,” Pam replied. “The mixed drinks from the 20’s are all the rage. The French 75is kicking ass and taking names. I do not think it would do every night but it celebrates the occasion. And the Grasshopper, New Orleans own righteous drink of the 20’s, is selling very well, also. How goes the dancing?”

“My bride is born to dance,” Eric grinned.

“Best time ever,” Sooke smiled with delight. “Where is that skank, Cathrine?”

“She is sticking to her side of the building. She does not venture very far into Fealty Hall or the Cardiff Rectory.”

“Cardiff Rectory,” Sookie nodded. “It is a lovely room. It looks just like a rectory should. Just how did it come by that name, Eric? I often wondered.”

“The room is patterned after Professor Cardiff’s office who taught linguistic anthropology at Oxford. His evening classes were always booked.”

Sookie looked over at Eric. “Professor Cardiff, I presume.”

“Yes, madam,” he said with a serious tone and a bow of his head. Then his smile was back. “I taught there for ten years during the 18thcentury. Languages, modern and ancient and how language and politics of those times influenced art.”

“Well I guess so,” Sookie nodded looking around. “You have exceptionally exquisite taste.”

“Yes I do,” he grinned at her.

Smiling at him, he put his arm around her and pulled her in closer.

“What time do you think Catherine will make her move?”

“We are coming up on midnight. Her people have been out dancing and suggesting to those they encounter that at around midnight, they need to cash out and be on their way. It will take her an hour to clear the building of those she has deemed not worthy.

It will take us another hour to remove those civilians that are left in harm’s way. Which is perfect since we close at two. At that time, we will be ready.”

“Well then,” Sookie grinned and rubbed the palm of her. A blue sparkling of fairy dust appeared there. Raising it to her lips, she said,

“There is one whose heart is not true blue,

So dear dust I entrust this mission unto you.

As vampire she cheated aging human ills,

And did not know how the ancient human feels.

Find the vampire bitch and may her long life be,

Wrapped in her left-behind human misery.”

Pressing her lips together, she gently blew on the magic and it dispersed out into the room, seeking to treat one vampire with human aliments of which she had been cheated.


Catherine sat watching the crowd get smaller, congratulating herself on how clever she was. Well yes, just extend the invitation and she was more than happy to attend.

“I am fucking perfect,” she gloated and winked at a couple that was dancing cheek-too-cheek.

“What…what is that?” as she felt something not as perfect coursing through her blood stream. “It is like I am looking out the eyes of someone else…” a ruthless, general malaise took over her body! Nothing about her felt right, everything felt abnormal!

“I am the vampire queen of the Old World!” she hissed at no one. “You think to cast your spells on me and I will eat you alive!

Now body, shake it off,” she commanded herself.

“What?” she stammered when a pain shot up her back and radiated out along her rib cage!

“What…the…fuck…!” she sobbed looking around. Carefully she looked over her shoulder. There was nothing to see! A spook was not standing there, running their icy frozen fingers up across her back! And as much as that would have terrified her, the fact that no one was there terrified her even more!

“How much worse can it get?” she thought gritting her teeth. “Soon this foolishness will end, I will have Eric and we will be on our way out of here! And I will be home and back to my old self!”

Then the unthinkable happened.  The pain engulfed her entire back! Letting out a small screech, she stood and then she fell abruptly back into her chair. “What is wrong with my knees?” she sobbed as she tried to stand again, only to have agony engulf her legs!

It was at that time a gargoyle came fluttering up, pulled out a chair and sat down beside her.

“I understand,” he smiled at her, his fangs framing his perfect face. “That you were the one that paid the Blood Necromancer of Geisling to entrap us so that Witch Wurly of Bisset could weave her spells on that poor soul to shift them to stone. You would make art out of living beings.

I have waited a long time to have this conversation with you, Catherine. I do so hope you do not mind me calling you Catherine,” he grinned.

“You know, before there was lower than Were shit, there was Gargoyle shit,” she spit at him. “You do gooders and oh so righteous with your all knowing eyes and protector of innocence! Your kind brought vampires to the verge of extinction! Mad dog killers! All of you!”

“You left us to bury children and to restore to Heaven babes that you had turned and left behind!” he growled.  “You, Catherine, are perverse and immoral. A degenerate that has roamed this earth too long. You and your children are perversions.

I consider myself blessed that The Viking found me and brought me here to watch over his house. It is with great pleasure that I shall watch over his family as well. His Mrs. shall bless him with many children and his family will be his greatest joy,” he smiled at her as he got up to leave.

“Abelard,” she said to his back.

So she did remember him. Good. Turning, his smile was genuine and heartfelt. “Yes,” he said with a bow of his head.

“I should have cut your head off, o’ king of the gargoyles.”

“Woulda, coulda, shoulda,” he chuckled. Offering her another bow, with a mightly leap into the air, he was gone.

“Of all the fucked up Were shit!” she stomped her foot and bit back the pain that engulfed her.

Reaching for her handbag, she found she did not have enough strength in her fingers to operate the clasp to get it open! Trying to get comfortable in her chair, she began to silently sob as every joint in her body felt like it was ablaze with throbbing tentacles of malignant energy!

Richard was out on the dance floor, doing the Charleston with some blood bag and grinning like the fool he was! Desperately, she tried to lift her arm to wave him over! There was pain in her shoulder and her elbow forbidding her to raise her hand high enough to be seen.

“What the fuck?” she sobbed. “Who has bewitched me? What has happened? Was I poisoned by those breathers? Is the New World full of humans that has tainted blood?”

It was at that time, she spotted Eric and…and…a tiny, petite breather go dancing by! On his face…his face…there radiated happiness and joy and he was at peace! She could see it! There was a glow about him as he smiled at this…this…piece of Were shit as they twirled around the dance floor! This thing…this thing that would give birth to his children!

“No,” she sobbed, “what is left of my heart is now gone as well! He has come within my reach only now to be unreachable! Oh woe is me…I am indeed cursed and cussed.”

“Well,” and that is when Absolon landed and sat in the middle of the table.  “My brother neglected to tell you of our one super power,” his eyes were round and clear and at peace. “And I could not let you sit here and enjoy the warmth and hospitality of The Viking. You are not deserving.”

“You are not magic,” she glowered at him. “You are just a beast that is not even useful for draining water from a roof! Just a beast, forgotten to the ages of time.”

“Well then,” he batted his eyelashes at her, “you will not mind a little weather precipitation from one who cannot do magic”

“What?” escaped from her as he disappeared and above her head a cloud appeared. Then another. Was that a sizzle of lightning? A crash of thunder?

The rain came down in torrents! Soaking her within seconds and evaporated as soon as it hit the floor.

“Just the best entertainment ever! Spooks, magic and thunderstorms! Fangastiaon All Hallow’s Eve!” was being shouted out on the floor as the dancers stopped and applauded and then went back to doing the foxtrot.

Were they laughing at her! In desperation, she tried standing again, only to once more have unimaginable pain tear through her legs, causing her to cry out and sit back down!

Just as suddenly as the rain had begun, it stopped. With a sigh of relief, when she left here tonight, she was burning this place to the ground!

Then it became unthinkable! It was teeth numbing cold! And snowing! And she was freezing! Literally! Because of the pain, she could not move, and because she could not move, her clothes were freezing to her skin! And the snow was sticking to her and covering her form!

She heard the bells beginning to chime through-out the club and sound out the hour. It was one! They were now into All Saint’s Day! What catastrophe awaited her next for even she could admit she was not a saint!

Just when she thought it could not possibly be any more humiliating, pulling out a chair, down sat Eric’s child! And…and placed a small stainless tray on the table in front of her. And…and out her carpet bag came grease paint! Cheap, theatrical grease paint! And…and…something that looked like a small trowel!

“Why Catherine,” Pam drawled out her name and chuckled hysterically.  “You can just call me Dr. Love. See, I have brought my surgical instruments to make you look a bit more human because you are looking very much like Frosty the snowman. How fortunate for you that I have arrived in time to save you from being embarrassed. As you can see, like any good doctor, I have brought along my tools and have them neatly laid out as any good surgeon should.

So, to begin your transformation from lower than Were shit queen of nothing, I have brought along things to take you from mundane to stunning. For your snowman crown, you need a top hat,” she grinned and standing, she placed one on the queen’s head. “Hm-m-m, tilted charmingly to one side or straight up? Oh, pardon me. How silly. There is nothing charming about you so it will sit straight up and cover that bale of straw you call your hair.

And since frosty had two eyes made out of coal…” she smiled prettily and wiped the snow from Catherine’s face and loading the black onto the trowel,  made large, black circles around her eyes. “And a button nose…and you know,” Pam leaned in companionly, “the song does not say what color button he had for a nose so I am going with orange, because in these modern times, carrots seem very popular for snowmen noses,” as she picked up the tube of orange makeup. “And dear Catherine, since you have a long, aristocratic snout, I think this is a look you could carry year round.”

“You are dead,” she hissed at Pamela as The Child troweled on   the makeup.

“Well yes I am,” she laughed. “And so are you. And I personally think you could use a little color. Now, just look what  I have laid my very delicate and lady like hands on.  It is clown red. You know, the kind of clown red that gives you nightmares. Because no where in nature is that color found. I am just going to use that to brighten your cheeks. Perfect,” Pam said nodding and then standing back. “Now for the photo op,” she grinned as she took out her phone and “Wa-la! I just snapped at least two dozen and oh, maybe a couple of hundred more. If you would just attempt a smile,” she grinned, “I would love to get video of that,” she said, winking at her. “That way everyone could admire watching your face crack.”

“Child,” both women heard the stern rebuff. “This woman is our guest. A paying guest at that.”

“Eric,” Catherine sobbed, “I am so thankful you are here. Please, you must help me.  Your child is maniacal bitch!” she screeched   as she saw the most gorgeous hunk of male she had ever encountered lean down and scrutinize her face.

“Well yes,” he sighed. “I believe that describes Pamela perfectly.”

Pam crossed her chest with her arms. In a huff she added, “I thank you for the compliment, but I am also a killer fashionista! My shoe collection alone sets me in the stratosphere of shoe whores everywhere!”

“My apologies, Child,” Eric said bowing to her. “You are the goddess of the shoe whores.” Then he turned back to the table. “Now, who are you?” he queried.

“What?” Catherine drew back slightly and yelled in pain loudly!  “I am Queen Catherine of the Old Empire.”

Eric titched under his breath and sadly shook his head. “First of all, get your facts straight. Catherine is the Vampire Queen of Russia. The Old World…please…she does well to sit in the frozen north. She is certainly not worth imitating. Even on All Hallow’s Eve. Although, she would frighten any spook that was out and about back into the grave.

So do not give yourself false airs about trying to be her. No wonder The Child has had her way with your makeup. Even without the grease paint, you clearly have nicer features than Catherine’s. She is one ugly bitch. When she was born, I am amazed the people of her tribe did not insist that she be left outside for the wild animals to eat. The only reason I can envision that she was made vampire was a warning to others not to turn someone so ugly or smelly. Even on the days the North winds blew through her palace, you always knew where she was by the overpowering stench of rotted meat and maggots.

Oh-h-h, perfection,” Eric looked away and smiled, placing his hand over his heart. “There is my bride. The one I have been waiting for these past thousand years. The one my grandmama promised me. My love, my life. My Lady of the Light.  If you will excuse me.”

Both women watched him walk away.

“There goes my maker,” Pam smiled and then frowned. “Really, describe me without my wardrobe? Let alone shoe wardrobe! He has lost all good sense since he fell in love and married. Oh well,” she sighed. “He has promised me the club and his black American Express Card.

Well,” she pouted, “he will set a limit. But he is known for his generosity. So I will not be forgotten while his wife and children shall inherit everything else.”

“Eric has money?” she whimpered.

“I should say so,” Pam eyed Catherine like she had lost all good sense. “He is The Da’vid’s brother. Brother Samuel handles all his finances. Even the money the breathers stuff down his pants when he dances with them. Brother Samuel takes that small change and turns it into millions.

Oh, look, there is my date for the evening,” she smiled as she began putting her paints into her handbag.  “Yes, I know, you are thinking what a handsome devil he is and can you talk him into your bed.

Well, yes he is handsome and no, he would never get into your bed. Even if you could glamour him. This man has exceedingly good taste. And you are just a pile of Were shit.” Smiling brightly at Catherine, Pam turned and walked off into the arms of the man who was waiting for her.

“What version of hell have I fallen into,” Catherine sobbed. “I cannot move for pain. Eric has money and is married. His whore of a child mocks me! I need to be someplace else. Even if I could call someone over, who can I trust? Richard would stake me and rule Russia. And the others I have brought in tonight, they would do the same! I am doomed! Eventually the hour shall pass and all will know that I am weak and without resource. If I could only entice those two humans that I had earlier to come to me and perhaps carry me out and away…” that thought trailed off as she saw her reflection in a glass sitting on another table.

“By everything that is unholy,” she began to cry, “I look like an evil mass murderer snowman.”


“Mission accomplished,” Pam smiled as she watched the feed on her phone.

“Damn Cher,” Alcide grinned, “you do good work. And remind me to never piss you off. I would hate to have video of you cutting my balls off and shoving them down my throat playing on the vamp channel from now until the end of time.”

Wiggling her eyebrows at him, she winked and said, “How about video of me fucking your brains out.”

Alcide stopped and considered that. “Do I get to howl your name?” he asked.

“We would have to negotiate that,” she replied. “So think about what you want to offer up and then let us see if we can come to an agreement.”

Sookie and Eric were dancing cheek-to-cheek. “She looks like a serial killer clown,” Sookie said into Eric’s ear. “Pamela certainly has the knack for creating your most embarrassing moments.”

“Yes,” Eric nodded in agreement. “Trust me, I know from experience that she does. I fear our oldest  will not be a good example for our children.”

Sookie laughed. “Or she will set a very good example for our children. Somehow, I just don’t see our kiddos being quiet and reserved compliant. I am sure they shall be full of energy, life, and lots of oomph. Children, in their most innocent of moments, just seem to tell folks about your most embarrassing ones. I think ours will have the knack for it. They shall be just like their father.”

Eric grinned. “I just really don’t think we want that.”

Sookie laughed. “I really think that is what we are going to get. How many times did your mother say to you she wished upon you children just like yourself?”

Eric laughed. “Too many to count.”

“And there you have it,” Sookie pulled him down for a kiss. “She has blessed your destiny and mine as well.”

When Eric lifted his head, he nodded over towards Catherine. “What do you think?”

“I think the thousand years worth of arthritis she side-stepped as vampire has caught up with her. There is probably no cartilage left at all between her joints. And because there is now a thousand years’ worth of damage to her joints, that means there is a thousand years’ worth of damage to her bones  as well.”

Nodding, Eric said, “She is screwed now and she knows it. There is no one here she can trust to help her out of the building. Let alone the journey home.”

“What do you want to do?” Sookie asked.

“Make an example of her,” he responded, as he dipped Sookie to the floor. “She came to Area Five to take what was mine and to kill at her pleasure. We shall grant her safe passage back to Russia along with a note pinned to her that this is what happens if you think to bother, belittle or borrow what is mine. Those that take her off the plane will pass the word. Then some one shall become embolden and think to dispose of her and crown themselves. And if we are very lucky, they will end Catherine and there shall be massive infighting and several others that do not have the good sense to greet the sun shall depart this world for hell.”

“Do you think that will be enough deaths?” she asked. “It appears there are a lot of fools and the world is a mighty big place.”

“I believe so. Because tonight we are announcing that Q S-A has met the true death. And that Pamela is now Queen of Louisiana and will be ruling out of Fangtasia.  Any and all will think twice before invading our state, our area, our home. Two vampire queens in one night, brought down in their prime. Not a bad reputation to have.”

“Does Pam know yet?” she asked.

Eric grinned. “No. I am saving the best for last.

Now, it is one-thirty and approaching closing. I see our vamps are beginning to replace those that thought to replace us. We are going to have a short conversation with Richard after we have a short conversation with Catherine. My bride, I love being here with you tonight!

Now I need to write a note to put in with Catherine.”


Eric danced them over to Catherine’s table and pulling out a chair, he sat down and then pulled Sookie into his lap. “My bride,” he picked up her hand and kissed it. Looking into her eyes he said lovingly, “This is your show.”

“Thank you, husband,” she ran her hand down the side of his face and kissed him on the nose.

“The Child told me you were Catherine,” he directed his attention to the woman who, for all the world, really did look like a homicidal clown.  “Who would have thought it beneath all that grease paint? Please, if I might, I would like to introduce you to Mrs. Eric Northman. You may call her Mrs. Northman, until she gives you permission to call her by her first name.”

Tears formed in the old queen’s eyes and began to spill out. “No Eric,” she sobbed, “she is nothing. She has not one idea of what you truly are. Together, we can be everything.”

“Catherine,” Sookie sadly shook her head. “I understand everything. And Eric explained to me how he does not want to enact the Balance of Power. He likes calling home his acreage in upper Louisiana. This is where we want to raise our children. The Old World can just keep to its Old World ways.

You are a prime example of that. Look at what a fine mess you have gotten yourself into. And it just keeps getting worse. You came here tonight to destroy me and my family. Take my husband and go back to Russia. Well, you will be going back to Russia, but not with my husband.”

“No,” she shook her head and pain carved itself into her face.

“Eric please,” she whimpered. “Please, your gargoyles have poisoned me. Please, for what we once had. Please, help me.”

“For what we once had?” Eric snarled. “Oh,” his voice lowered,  “I am going to help you…to your true death.

And Abelard and Absolon did not poison you,” he said righting himself.  “My lovely wife cursed you with the human aliment, arthritis.  About a thousand years’ worth. My Sookie,” he said, his voice gentle and full of love, raising her hand for another kiss, “she is exceptional. And with one thought, she can destroy you. And with that knife she has strapped to her hip, well, she can make your ending painful. But, since you invited yourself here and did pay to enter, we have decided to see you safely back to Russia.”

“What?” she murmured. “But…no…not like this! Not back to Russia!”

“Thought about that have you,” Eric arched an eyebrow at her and grinned.  “You sorrow in your unbeating heart that you will be found incapacitated and they will have their merry way with you?” Leaning into her he said,  “I would just count on that. As soon as your travel box is opened and you are seen like this…” he twirled his hand around in the air.

“They will be shocked and amazed and then they shall consider themselves blessed. Their queen returns from Area Five with a strange aliment and before it can spread, she must be destroyed. Or, that will be the story. They will take one look at you and you will die and the infighting will begin.  Oh, now,” Eric shook his head. “Do not try to thank us. We are also   dealing with Richard.  Because we all know he would do the deed of gifting you with the true death before he left here if he saw you like this.”

“You cannot glamour him!” she hissed.

“You are correct, I cannot. But a dragon can. Richard was out on the dance floor, but I do not see him there, now. Well,” Eric smirked, “so you will not meet the true death at his hands.”

“My vampires and Weres will end you!” she spit out.

“Your eyesight must be failing as well. There are none of your people left out on the floor. They have all mysteriously disappeared. The magics in the club have done a fine job of removing them one at a time. The vampires shall not rise again and the Weres, well,” he shrugged, “O.I. has glamoured them and they have been sent on their way, back to your plane awaiting your arrival. They shall remember you getting into your travel box and them escorting you home.

That grand battle you were pinning for is not going to happen. Oh…do you hear that sweet chiming? That is Bell sounding the close of business. Very soon, your nightmare shall begin.”

Catherine watched as the club emptied out and all that was left was vampires she did not know.

Wait, she did know the band that was playing. She had hired them before! Perhaps, maybe…they would rescue her!

Or perhaps not….here they came carrying her travel box. All of them staring at her with death in their eyes.

“How do you want her put in Sheriff?” Moe asked.  “As much as none of us want to touch her, I am all for just tossing her in there and covering her with a silver net!”

“She is repulsive,” Eric nodded in agreement. “The makeup actually improves her looks.”

“I’ll do it,” Sookie said smiling at Eric.

“Thank you, wife,” he said gently to her.

“No need,” Eric replied to Moe. “You don’t need to touch her and she won’t be getting out. My wife is going to spell the box and only once she is in her own palace can it be opened.”

Several eyebrows went up as their gazed shifted for a second to the small blonde that stood next to the big one.  That was one serious knife she had strapped to her hip! Viking! And around it swirled magic! You could see it! It pulsed with blue and the runes on it moved! Even the leather it was holstered in was alive with power! You could see the end of the belt reach over and stroke her hand! As if asking permission to be used! Or perhaps it was just begging her to do her worst!

“Catherine,” Sookie said directing her gaze to her, “into the travel box you go.”

Catherine could feel it! The magic that burned her, took ahold of her and lifted up out of her chair and levitated to the coffin that would truly become her place of death. No matter how sumptuous the inside was, she would never rise from here, again.

With her body hovering above the box, she felt the magic let go and she fell, causing all of the nerve endings in the back of her body to sear with pain.

“You thought to take what was mine,” Sookie said, leaning over and looking at her. “Eric is blood of my blood and blood of my bond. My lover, husband and father to my children.  I will utterly destroy any who think to touch him or our children.”

Leaning down, Eric tossed in a piece of paper that landed on her chest.

With that final act, the lid, of its own will, closed with a hollow thud, that echoed through Catherine’s ears.

Taking out her knife, Sookie touched the elaborate metal crown that was inlaid on top of it. The metal melted and ran down to where the lid met the edge of the opening. A seal formed completely around it, dancing with blue sparks. Sookie laid her hand on it and the sparks faded. “My blessing on the metal band that keeps her within and others without. To you I grant  your freedom. You shall dissolve and return to the atmosphere when she reaches home. Thank you for being of service to me and mine. Now, let us shove her back into a corner. I believe we have a little more business to attend.”

Over the next hour, vampires from Louisiana that had not attended, came in. The rolls were checked by their sheriff and when everyone was present, the cameras were turned on and they were broadcasting to the vampire channel.

“Welcome to All Saint’s Day,” Eric began. “We have had a regime change. Sophie-Anne has met the true death. In her place shall rule my daughter, Pamela. You all know her and what she is capable of. Our new headquarters is Fangtasia.To the Louisiana vamps, you shall no longer pay sovereign taxes. So if your Sheriff comes around talking up tax money, stake the bastard.

Those of you who worked for Sophie-Anne, find a job and support yourself. You are expected to be law abiding citizens. If you are not, as our new Queen’s  to-war adjacent, I will stake your ass. So come to terms with this or move your ass out.”

The cameras went dead and Eric stepped over to Sookie. Gave her a kiss and then jumped up on the table. “You heard what I said. So did the rest of the vampires world-wide. The Sheriffs shall continue on as before, unless they no longer want the job.  Our seat of government is here.

You saw what happened to Catherine.  Sophie Anne’s end was just an inglorious. If S-A owed you money, present your bill. When we brought her the true death, we raided her accounts and from this money, we shall make restitution. After we pay her bills, if there is any money left over, we shall divide it evenly among us and all will get perhaps a little something. After all, it was our money to start with.

Any questions?”

“What if we cannot prove we gave her money?” Roger, a vampire out of Area One asked. “I mean, maybe not money but goods and services. Someone would drop one of her cars off and I would have to work on it. For free.”

“Did you write up the ticket?” Eric asked.

“No, because she did not want the state to know how many cars she owned. She was afraid they could track her through my paper work.”

“But you know how much she owed you,” Eric countered.

“Yes,” Roger nodded. “I certainly do.”

Eric looked out into the crowd. There stood Madame Vedo. Only the gods knew how much money S-A owed her! “If you don’t have the paper work, you will be evaluated on a one-by-one bases. If it smells like Were shit, Pam will be having words with you. None of them pleasant. So don’t think to cheat the system.

Anything else?” Eric asked.

“The Queen is dead! Long live the Queen!” Eric shouted.

“Long live Queen Pamela!” they all joined in and cheered for their newest monarch.


Eric might be their Queen’s new to-war adjutant but Crankshaft was her aide-de-camp. Where ever she went, there he was, yes or no-ing money amounts and who had loaned S-A what.

“Let’s just knock as much as this out as possible,” Pam said to the crowd. “You kneel and swear, then we will come to terms over money.”

A line had formed to swear fealty.

The printer had been moved out of her office to the main floor. Phones were out and Sophie-Anne’s past sins were all brought to light and printed out with a monetary amount attached. Apparently, she owed every vamp in Louisiana. Some of these vamps, well their memories were not as good as Old Cranky’s and once they were called on their bullshit, they apologized profusely and gladly took the reduced amount that Crankshaft said they were due.

With money in hand, the party started in earnest and for the next two hours, Fangtasiarock and rolled!



Alcide stepped up to where Eric was sitting with Sookie on his lap. Pam was chatting with the Sheriff of Area One. The Were  kept hearing her say, “Like I give a fuck…”

“We have about an hour before daylight. AA is here. They are ready to pick Catherine up.”

“Excellent,” Eric smiled. “Show them in. Please walk out with O.I. and see to it that she is loaded safely into the carrier and that those present remember seeing her.”

“With pleasure,” Alcide nodded and signaling to the men, they brought the gurney in so Catherine could be rolled out.


When Alcide returned, the area had cleared out. With the entertainment over, the vampires had taken off so that they could have their own private feed and fuck before daylight. With their new found wealth, they had already been on their phones planning how to invest their money.


Alcide was watching Pam as she sat in her chair and surveyed the area around her. My gawd she was beautiful…and deadly…and smart…and his…

“Mine,” he said to no one as he approached.

Walking up to her, he bent his knee to the floor and lowered his head. “My Queen, I swear fealty to you. I shall do whatever I am commanded to do. I shall defend you from any and all. I would sacrifice my life for yours.”

He felt her hands in his hair, lifting his face to hers. Pulling him up she put her arms around his neck and put her legs around his waist.

Slowly she began. “I am hoping for the best and that it is not going to get fucked up crazy around here. But in case it does, I want you to know and never forget…” she paused.  “I want you to know that I can shovel a lot of bullshit…with Were shit on top of that. I say mean things that I think are clever. I say clever things that are mean. I have a tongue like an asp and I think more of my shoes than…well…than Eric, truth be told. He is my maker and he really is all that, but I have some killer foot wear that I am never walking away from. And there shall be other strappy expensive ones in my future that I shall become just as enamored of.”

“Noted,” Alcide nodded.

“I am not kidding,” she arched an eyebrow at him.

“I know you are not,” he replied, his voice serious.

“You did not have to swear fealty to me,” she placed both of her hands on his face.

“Yes I did,” he smiled at her. “My days are not infinite. My time on earth, until my last breath, that is as long as I have. And as long as I draw breath, my heart belongs to you. Thought you knew, Cher, wolves mate for life.”

“I love you,” she said, placing her forehead against his.

“I love you,” he responded. “Now, I think my place is closer. Sunrise is comin’ on. Let’s get to ground.”

“May I have my wicked way with you before daylight over takes me?” she asked as he walked them to the back.

“Countin’ on that,” he smiled at her.

“Magics,” she called out. “Lock up.”

“Will do our Queen!” they shouted and applauded and saw them both out the door.



The boys in the band were in their hotel room with the door locked and a chair pushed up in front of it.

There were numerous True Blood bottles, empty bagged bloods and Moe, Larry and Curly had taken on a bottle of Scotch. They had puked their guts out in the bathroom, but they did not regret doing it.

“As I live and no longer breathe,” H-man sat with his head back against the couch with his eyes closed. He was holding his hands clasped together on his lap so they would not shake.

Jules nodded in agreement from his corner of the room where he was presently curled up with his back against the wall.

Shep was eyeing the bottle of Scotch that had not yet been opened, wishing someone would break the seal so he could drink it and puke his guts out!

“A new queen now rules Louisiana,” H-man said to no one. “A good and righteous queen she will be. Queen Pamela is fair and always pays on time. She will dock your pay if you drop a note, and point out your mistakes like the piece of worthless Were shit you are, but pay she does.”

“That is truth,” Larry picked his head up from off his lap, thought his head was going to explode then laid his head back down.

Moe was lying on the floor. “I wish the room would stop spinning,” he shivered as he reached out and grabbed the leg of the coffee table. “I wish I had drunk the other bottle of Scotch before I got so feeble I could not.”

“Curly,” Herman sighed, “you still with us. You have not met the true death have you. I would hate to have to audition another fuck wad for your job.”

“Fuck you,” he mumbled. “And don’t be spending my share of the money that we were actually paid tonight.”

“How many vampires shit themselves, tonight?” Jules asked. “I know we were not the only ones. There was the over ripe smell of vampire everywhere.”

“Everyone,” Moses moaned. “As in, everyone. The only reason I am not embarrassed by that is because every vamp there left with their pants full.”

“No new taxes,” Larry almost managed to sound gleeful. “And no old ones either.”

“Could one of you fuck wads just go ahead and stake me?” Curly asked, choking back a sob. “And H-man, may you be cursed to never find someone to replace me. My ghost shall haunt all of you and turn your money to straw! And…and…what the fuck has The Viking married?” he whimpered. “I am going back to church. I need to go to confession before I meet my end at her hands.”

“Such a wee tiny thing,” Moe said. “I do mean wee,” he sighed lifting his hands. “Like a butterfly on a dew drop. Reflecting the beauty that she is back to you.   So small, so dainty, so deadly in a very beautiful yet macabre type of way. From the very pours of her skin, there floats a blue mist that masks all the ugliness around her. She quotes poetry without saying a word. Her movements alone inspire you to set to music the swaying of her hair and the death knell that she sounds on a far and distant land.”

Several cleared their throats.

“And brings the true death in her own backyard,” he added, looking around and checking every corner.

“You know,” Herman opened his eyes, “for all your bullshit, I think you pegged her exactly. And you forgot to mention she can destroy you with a look…just poof!  When Gilmore snarled at the mention of Pamela being queen…! Mrs. Northman looked at him and he explode into a million blue jewels that apparently the gargoyles in the club enjoy decorating themselves with and I think, perhaps, even ate one or two.”

“I was too scared to mention that,” Moe replied. “Eric has married the supernaturals greatest nightmare…and I don’t even know what that nightmare is.

And can you get room service up to and tell them to make the room stop spinning…please…there is a very big tip for anyone if they can just make the room stop…” he whimpered.

“Well here is a big tip for you,” H-man said. “de Castro has met the true death. The same for S-A and Andre and their major ass kisser Compton.  And you had better believe when Catherine gets home, her weak, painted up ass will be finally dead as well. Let the infighting in Mother Russia begin!

That night in Paris two hundred years ago. Richard was there also. That only leaves New York that The Viking has a score to settle with for that ill-fated evening.”

“What makes you think that Richard has not met the true death?” Jules asked. “Did anyone actually see him leave?”

Heads came up across the room. Vampires who had been puking their guts out earlier all looked a little bit more cheery and a lot less pukey!

“Well there is a good thought,” Moe grinned. “And who cares that he owed us money. Our new queen has set our world to rights! We actually have cash instead of a cash flow problem!”

“Long live our Queen!” Jules shouted.

“I like having money!” Curly air pumped.

“Yes,” Herman replied, “don’t we all. Now, dawn is coming, let’s go light tight and settle in. I have one more something I want to discuss. Just to prove that I have the biggest balls.”

There were a lot of raspberries being blown as the band all raised their eyebrows and scurried around, putting things to rights. Instruments back in cases. Empties picked up off the floor and pillows righted.

When they were all tucked neatly in, Herman said out loud. “Think on this. Mrs. Northman said they were going to have children. As in Mr. and Mrs. Eric Northman are going to have children. Did she mean that she is going to give birth to Eric’s babies or are they talking, you know, Eric turning one or two someones vampire? There it has been said. I believe I win the prize for the biggest pair of balls this evening,” he said as his words hung heavily on the air and lids closed and locked.

“You fucker!” they all heard Moe yell. “We were all thinking that! I was going to say it and then you called for bed time…” his words trailed off as morning overtook him.

Herman grinned. “That round goes to me! The H-man strikes again,” as he drifted off to sleep, with images of tiny little look alike Mr. and Mrs. Northman’s running through a clear and sparkling creek as they stopped to admire a minnow or hop a ride on a butterfly…or was that a dragon?




“Talk to me lover,” Eric smiled at Sookie as she snuggled in next to him.

“It was a good All Hallow’s Eve. And a most excellent beginning to All Saint’s Day.”

“Yes,” Eric nodded. “I do believe you sufficiently scared them enough that they will not give Pamela or us any problems.  And the magics in the club were exceptionally feisty tonight and proudly strutted their stuff. I had no idea vampires could shit themselves.”

“So you think I made my point?” Sookie asked, her voice serious.

“The point being that you are a bad ass?” Eric chuckled.

“Well, let me see. I think you made your point when the vamps from the Lower Californias tried to storm the area and rescue Catherine from Pamela’s face painting party. You did what, cut them with your knife, they bled out blue glitter and a wind came along and blew them out the front door.

Or perhaps those vamps from South America. Chile, I believe, who tried to storm the bar and grab Samuel and you threw your knife, it went through the heart of all six of them and when they turned to dust you pursed your lips and blew them out the door.

And then…

When those vamps from O’Canada tried to charge Pam after she had been announced queen and they were screaming ‘declare anarchy’. What was it you said? Oh that’s right, ‘Really?’ and you pinned them to the ceiling with wooden kabob sticks with the chicken and vegetables still on them…they looked like a collection of butterflies while smelling like an outdoor BBQ. Then when our daughter was finished with her acceptance speech you unpinned them and when they fell to the floor, unfortunately, they land on that stake, which then went through their heart, and they turned to dust.  And what was equally impressive was that wind came along and blew them out the front door with the Vikings in the boat cheering you on! Was that the point you were trying to make you were referring too?”

“I guess that could be it,” she nodded. “Eric, I am real serious about not wanting anyone to hurt our family.”

“I know that, my wife. I do believe that by now the rest of the world knows it as well. And if they do not, they can just talk to me about it.”


When Catherine woke, it was late. She could smell that the sun had been down for an hour and that she was back in her palace. Rudolf, her day walker, ate borsch  for every meal and drank cheap vodka. Perhaps if she paid him more, his diet could vary, but she paid him far too much the way it was. She had enough strength to lift the lid, but not much more than that. Hopefully, there was no one around and she could…

“Your majesty,” she heard and peering out of her box, she could see that all of her resident vampires had gathered and were watching the vamp channel.

“For the past hour,” Hurly came walking up and leaned down and removed the note that had been laid on top of her.

Compliments of The Viking,” he read.

“Thank you Eric,” he smiled and taking her by the hair, pulled her into an upright position. “We have been vastly entertained. Apparently, you are no longer capable of defending your crown. We shall do that for you.”

Before she could scream, a sword appeared from nowhere and her head went flying across the room. Then the fighting started in earnest, as more heads followed hers onto the floor, several made it out the window and one or two into the fireplace.  The mad scramble for who would rule Mother Russia was on.

And by the time the sun rose, when the Weres came in to clean for the day, with joy and a great deal of satisfaction, those vampires that were still alive, although severely wounded, were tossed out into the sun!

The Weres declared independence and looted the palace, returned home, and posted their new-found riches withSotheby’s.



When Richard woke, he was not sure just exactly where he was. There were no familiar sounds or smells that reached him. Instead, there was a slow, steady, hum that reached his ears that annoyed him greatly and caused his ears to ring. And what was this! He was not in his lovely coffin! No, he was in some cheap pine something that had been roughly knocked together.  As he stepped out and his feet made contact with the ground, the sound got louder and the vibration now traveled through him as well. Causing his bones to tingle and his eyes to throb and teeth to   ache. With a backward stumble, he was sitting back inside the cheap pine box, shivering, a fever washing through him as he wished for his head to explode!

“Thought you were dead,” he heard the old man’s voice and turned. There stood a man with a strange beak looking device being worn over his face, his body covered in a garment that looked awkward and cumbersome.

“You spent the day throwing up blood. It won’t be long now.”

“What…where am I?” Richard asked.

“You are in St. Michael’s church in Venice. The Great Pestilence has taken you for its own. You have buboes in your groin area. A sure sign.  The largest I have seen is the size of a chicken egg. Yours are much larger than that. For all the plague victims I have tended, yours are so large they look like they are going to burst.

Fortunately, your bowels have not yet loosened. Oh,” there was heard a great gurgling sound, “I spoke to soon.”

“What…what year is this?” Richard sobbed as he felt his pants fill with watery diarrhea.

“1400,” came the doctor’s reply.

“I…I was in Venice in October and November of 1400,” he blubbered.

“Well, yes you are,” the older man replied, his voice full of sorrow. “May your passing be quick and merciful.” He  helped Richard to lie back down as his stomach spasmed and once more, his bowels let loose the fires of hell as his stomach followed with the onslaught of bloody flehm from his mouth.

“This is not fair,” he whimpered. “I am a vampire. I am immune. I carried in the plague to Venice so that that Italian whore, Chiara, who was really Spanish and not Italian, would lose her bloodbags so that she and hers could not feed. Then my Russian Queen, Catherine, my proud vampire maker, could sally forth and destroy her greatest enemy once and for all.”

“Sh-h-h, child,” the old man tried to quiet him. “Drink this,” he took a small vile out of his pocket. “Drink,” he nodded. “It will ease your passing. Or do not and know the horrors of those final minutes. Now, there are others I must attend.”

He was alone in the room. He could see them now. The coffins that had been hastily put together. The one against the wall had more than one body in it! Was he going to have to share his hallowed space? Richard was going to cry, there was nothing to be done for it. Somehow, somewhere, he was chained with silver and suffering the silver delusions!

“Not delusional, you low life mo’ fo’er,” he heard a voice in his ear. “You is human and you is dyin’. Before too long, you will be sittin’ face-to-face with Father God and explainin’ your fucked up ways to Him. I has seen His face and cans tell you, your life’s work wont’ set well with Him.

Then comes judgement. Won’t be pretty. You’ll be sobbin’ not my fault when they come to carry your mo’ fo’n ass off to Hell. You’ll be screamin’ not my fault while you is roastin’ and feedin’ the slime in Hell.

Mmm-hmm…when you see Satan, tell that bitch that O.I. says hey de ho! Lookin’ forward to her last go round on Earth I am. Tell that bitch we is gonna have us some good times then.”

“What…!” Richard screamed as the gaping hell mouth opened and fire belched out to get him!  He  was so scared he fainted!


O.I., rolling his eyes, shook his head and mouthed, “Low life mo’ for’er,” and concentrating on the date in the future, started back through the time shifts to the farmhouse.


Richard could smell the pine…everything hurt! Had he dozed off only to wake now lying in his own shit? “I am dreaming…I have the silver sickness. The silver sickness…” he moaned as he closed his eyes and his body voided itself one last time. He felt his spirit slip away from his human body…human? What had happened to the vampire?

Not that any of that mattered! There were dark, horrible, hungry things reaching for him! When they touched him, he knew it was no dream and not the silver sickness. He was indeed, dead. The horribleness of these creatures seeped into him as they pulled him toward the light!

They threw him forward while they continued on in the shadows.

In this light was actually the form of a man.

And from this man came a voice and his life was reviewed.

Yes, he admitted, he had done all of those things. And was proud of doing so. “From nothing, I achieved greatness.

But,” he stood up straight and squared his shoulders, “it was not my fault I walked this path. I was not the oldest son. Nothing came to me. I had to work, my father told me! Work! I was not going to work. I was too good to work!”

He had talked and explained and reasoned and pointed the finger at everyone that had touched his life. “So you cannot condemn me! I am not at fault,” he shouted. “I took a bad situation and made it palatable.”

When he was done, the light vanished and he was left alone in the darkness. And that is when they came at him. All of them! Their hunger tearing him apart! And while he screamed in pain and terror, the Black Death that he had so joyfully carried into Italy was there in his body to keep him company for all of eternity and to add to his misery in Hell.

“Talk to me,” he heard the rasping voice scream inside his head! “Talk to me…talk to me…talk to me…talk to me…!” And it sounded exactly like Catherine…


Dear Readers,

Thanks for hanging with me. I was back to giving tours in Crazy there for a while…lol…

With the ending of this story, I am back to editing my original fiction.

This story took much longer than I thought it would. You know, one shots do not exist for me…although, I maybe have the idea for one. Truly, a one shot. (Please do not laugh, you know I can hear you!)

As always, thanks for reading!

Be blessed and be the blessing,



Talk to Me—Chapter 15

talk to me coveere page

Chapter 15

Talk to Me 

The characters of the Southern Vampire Mysteries belong to Miss Charlaine Harris. No infringement on my part is intended.The characters on True Blood belong to Mr. Alan Ball. No infringement on my part is intended.

I have no BETA, editor, or other such charming person. All mistakes are my own. This Story is rated M.

Chapter 15


All Hallow’s Eve. The one night a year all the vampires tried to stay home. Instead they were working because the bitch of Eternal Winter could not keep her pale, undead ass in Russia.


The parking lot at Fangtasia was full. The armor plated Suburban kept circling the parking lot. The driver was not looking for a parking spot. Queen Catherine was getting “the lay of the land.”

“That Romanoff,” she huffed, “he said Eric had built a smaller version of my summer palace. What an ass kissing liar! I am going to rip his heart out when I get home. Or better yet, place the call, tell him to get his ass on a plane. I want to rip it out while I am standing here and he is explaining to me how this Gothic madness in any way resembles my summer cottage! There is no charm here, whatsoever. It is just dark and foreboding. And I hate gargoyles! Those damnable French! I would like to rip their gargouilles out and put them on their roofs to act as water spouts!”

Richard sat with his hands relaxed by his side. He had long ago mastered the art of tranquil self-containment around her. Many had met their true death who had not. His maker was on a rant and it would be death to anyone who thought to pacify her.

There was not one sound in the auto. No movement. Fortunately, the car was so well soundproofed, that the merry making in the parking lot heading into the club was not being heard in the car. So much fun and cheerfulness  out there! So much death and destruction inside the auto!  Richard just sat staring straight ahead out the window. They had thirty Weres on the ground along with a dozen vampires that were patrolling and  would be reporting in. Then….when they moved inside…well, things would perhaps get better. Slowly during the evening, their one hundred vamps would enter and those that backed The Viking would disappear.

There was Popov, now, approaching them. Her screaming was over. He just might live if he spoke to her now.

“My Queen,” Richard began, “Popov is here. Would you like a report at this time?”

“Yes,” she nodded and kicked the seat in front of her. “Yes, I would. Have them stop the car so that I might speak with him.”

Richard gave the command to the driver and the big lumbering beast came to a slow stop.

Rolling down the window, Richard motioned him forward.

“They are checking I.D.’s,” the vamp began. “They have Weres working at the podiums, running the machines. Also at the doors. So we cannot glamour them. You must have a photo I.D. or you will not be allowed entrance. The theme for this All Hallow’s Eve is indeed the Roaring Twenties. No masks are allowed.”

“Well,” she huffed, “just as they said on their web site. What trickery is this? Eric now tells the truth about what he wants? He just puts it all out there for anyone to read that would like to come to his club? This is madness! He has grown far too trusting. It is a good thing we are here to take him home. We are saving him from himself and those that would take advantage of him!”


“Heads up,” Alcide said into his headset. “Looks like they are parking. We have incoming. I will be at the kiosk that they use.”


“Excellent,” Pam replied. “We are closing the doors. They are going to have to knock to gain entrance. The lads on the dragon boat are overjoyed that they get first contact.”


The Russian contingent approached, picking the line closest to the main entrance. Alcide stepped in and Magellan stepped away. “I.D., please and look at the camera,” the packmaster said.

“What?” Richard remarked. “You are photographing us?”

“No,” Alcide replied, “just running you through the data base. Making sure you are who your I.D. says you are.”

“No,” he replied, haughtily. “I shall not!”

“Then move out of line and take yourself someplace else,” the Were replied.

“But I have a ticket!” he shot back, thrusting it at Alcide.

“I can see that,” he replied as if speaking to a two-year-old. “Before you purchased the ticket, you had to agree to the consent form at the bottom of the page. So either show me your I.D. and look at the camera or move on.”

“Or what?” he snickered.

A silver net fell out of the sky and took Richard down to the ground, while he screamed in pain! “I am the King of New York,” he bellowed.

“Don’t give a fuck,” Alcide replied. “Felix and Butch, pull this cocksucker out of the way so our next guest may come forward.”

Catherine was amused as she watched her child being dragged across the sidewalk. The silver was removed and he was picked up and thrown away from the building.

“Good,” she nodded. “Very good. Nice to see Eric has not lost all sense of responsibility. First round goes to The Viking,” she grinned. “Richard,” she turned and addressed him. “Get back in line and act accordingly.”

The vampire stood up, brushing dirt, real or imagined off his tux and advanced forward.

Once more, he was standing in front of Alcide. “I believe this is my best side,” he smiled politely as he handed him the ticket. “Just straight on, we are not running mug shots,” he replied as the light flashed green on his reader. “Through the doors,” he nodded with his head. “Knock first.”

“Knock first?” Richard huffed.

“Like in the old speakeasys,” Alcide replied. “You knock, the small panel in the door opens, you either pass muster or you do not.”

“I thought I had already passed muster,” he responded, sounding a bit confused.

“They are going to invite you in. Do not make this difficult. Just play along.”

“Oh, okay,” he nodded as he approached the doors, he paused for a moment.

There was one of the largest door knockers he had ever in his long life seen! It was exquisite! It was solid brass! It was a Viking longboat with the crew at the oars and a whale for the strike plate!

Raising it and letting it drop, a sharp tap sounded in the air! Richard was so entranced looking at the men on the boat, where they appeared to be rowing, he struck again.

“Once was enough,” the whale called out and then blew water out his blowhole, all over Richard.

Sputtering and taking a step back, the small speakeasy door opened and there, looking at him through the grate was a pair of orange eyes.

“Speak,” the gruff voice said.

“Eric sent me,” Richard replied, hoping that was the right answer.

“Enter,” he heard as the door opened and Richard, smelling like month old krill and stagnant salt water, walked in.

“Wow!” Greer, the Were in charge of the door mumbled into the headset. “We have incoming. You should be able to track this fucker easily the rest of the evening.”

“That is the plan,” Pamela chuckled. “Month old sushi left out in the heat be thy name.”

Catherine approached next. Handing Alcide her passport she smiled prettily as she looked into the camera. “Do you head Eric’s security?” she asked.

“No ma’am,” he replied, “I just work the door on big occasions,” as he checked her vitals. “There is your green light. Knock and give them the secret code,” he smiled politely at her.

“Eric sent me,” she grinned and clapped her hands, together.

“That will get you in,” he said with a bigger smile and tipped his head to her.

As she approached the door, the Vikings on the boat began to shout encouragement and beat their swords against their shields! There were lots of wolf whistles and “Yo-o-o-o momma, bring your hot self on over here! We have got some brass that you can rub! Just run that dainty little finger over any brass bulge that looks appealing to you! And they call us a big knocker. Would you just look at that set on her! Come on over her momma and rub those against us and polish up our brass! No need for Brasso! We come with our own!”

Catherine was laughing and enjoying the show. “Did Eric put you up to this?”

“Baby, Eric does not get us up! Feel us up, woman! We can see your nipples! Just go ahead and brush those across us!”

“You are some very bad Vikings,” she cooed at them.

“We can show you bad!” they whistled and beat their swords again!

Raising the door knocker, she let it abruptly fall when she felt several somethings wet squirt onto her hand!

Yeah!”they were yelling and waving, “feeling much better down here! We dropped anchor!”They were stomping their feet and high fiving each other.

Looking at her hand she then looked at them. “Did…did…?” she sputtered.

“Wash your hands well before you wipe your privates!” they shouted. “You would have a hard time telling which one of us was the proud poppa!”

Before she could score a pithy comeback, the speakeasy door opened.

“Eric sent me,” she said.

The both the front doors opened and Richard was standing there, waiting for her. “You stink like a fishwife!” she said fanning her nose. “Hold still,” she growled at him as she wiped her hand on one  of his tux’s tails.

“What was that?” he asked.

“Viking cum I think,” she replied with a straight face and then chuckled. “The look on your face,” she patted his check.

Richard looked over his shoulder, attempting to assess the damage.

“Oh stop it,” she frowned at him. “The front of you is wet and ripe. I have known fish wives that smelled sweeter. That tux is ruined, anyway. Me using it for a towel is not going to make any difference. Eric is having his fun tonight. I am sure the entire club is tricked out with this and that. All fanciful things to make us laugh.”

“I am not laughing,” Richard said to her.

“Well start. As your maker, I command it,” she smiled fluttering her hand! “Oh, here comes our hostess now to show us to our seat! Would you just look at the legs on that one! I wonder if she dates? Or can be glamoured? Or wants to come home with me and rule Russia.”

Richard’s eyes bugged out for a second and glanced over at her.

“Oh you poor heart-broken child. You know I am kidding about the ruling part. I rule Russia,” she said, her voice low, a fixed smiled on her face with her fangs peeking down.

“I never doubted,” he replied as he followed her to their table. “Not for one fucking minute…” he thought as he began to look around him. He had never been here before and yet the place looked oddly familiar.

“Why are you looking so serious?” she chided him when she sat down. “I have commanded you to laugh and make merry.”

“This all looks familiar. There was a party in a chateau in   Switzerland. Monthey was the only village around at the time. The house was finely appointed and had many luxuries. To include a Roman steam bath, which I believe was original to the building. What struck me was the place was old. Even for the early 1600’s. You could just tell by the way the stone steps were worn. That perhaps they had been tread upon for a thousand years. It was not warm or welcoming at all and I could not push my influence out to change the tragic outcome of what those walls had tasted while vampire lives had ended there and tragic outcomes were called out with a role of the dice. That there were things there that wanted to reach out and touch you. Perhaps judge you before they devoured you,” his voice trailed off. “Reminded me of the parlay parlors. So much vampire blood that had been tasted by those unworthy but could rhyme and bluff.”

“Richard, you are being maudlin,” she leveled her gaze on him. “Stop it. And perhaps the place was older than sin and haunted, and ate vamps as light snacks during their day slumber. There are stories about these holy places across the globe. Those refuges where we are not welcome and goodness of some sort still lingers there and wishes to destroy us.

But this started out as a warehouse and Eric has done a fine job of making it come to life this dark. So enjoy it. Or at least sit there and shut the fuck up and smile and let me enjoy it. The witch up there on that broom is smiling at me. No one smiles at me. I am taking that as a sign of good fortune and maybe she will read my cards, later.”

“What…the…fuck…” Pam squawked her mic, rolling her eyes. “That was all tastefully done. The chateau style still stands today. We just skied there last winter.

“The Swiss compound,” Eric chuckled. “I had no idea it had made such an impact on him.”

“Let’s lock him in the library and let the books do their worst!” Sookie chuckled. “Read him into insanity and then drown him in mermaid spit.”

“Now, now,” Samuel laughed into his headset. “That would not be polite at all. Better yet, let us wait and see if he goes looking for the secret passageway.”

“I will be there to get him if he does,” O.I. chuckled. “I will light up his mo’ fo’n dark and give him a fright he will remember.”

“Game on,” Sookie laughed. “Eric, I see The Throne beginning to stir. Peering into the future, I see splinters in HRM’s ass.”


HRM was seated at a table with nice enough chairs, just nothing as grand as she saw sitting over in that corner. In her undead heart, from time to time, that chair would beckon to her!

“Richard,” she sighed, admiring the fine upholstery  to her right, “I do believe that chair is more fitting for me,” she said pointing and nodding her head. “No one is sitting there yet and I want that throne,” she giggled. “Just look how sumptuous it is. And how regal. And how bedecked out it is with jewels and other fine adornments. I would be far more comfortable in that chair with its rich velvet cushions and…and….why look. It even has a matching foot stool for resting your feet! And I do so wish to rest my feet,” she smiled sweetly and batted her eyelashes.

“Of course my Queen,” he nodded and moving toward the chair, it appeared to move away from him. Taking a step to the side, he approached it from a different direction and it shifted, also. “So not funny,” he hissed, as he looked around for the device that made it move.

Not seeing anything or anyone, he took a step to the right and then to the left and the chair did likewise.

People had begun to watch him and was calling encouragement to both him and the chair. Perfect, now these bloodbags were placing bets!

Making a lunge at it, he went down face first as the chair sat pristinely to the left of him. Eyeing the lion heads that were the feet, they were all smirking at him! Dropping his fangs, the lions then dropped theirs and roared at him!

He pulled back and reached out to rip off a foot!

Lion claws appeared from nowhere and came very close to removing his hand from his wrist!

Sitting up, he wrapped his wrist with his other hand while it healed and he moved back against the wall, watching the chair and wondering what its battle plan was going to be! Not that it mattered. If the chair wanted war, he was willing!


Catherine got up and walked over to the chair. Looking down at him, she rolled her eyes. “What the fuck, Richard?” she frowned at him. “It is a chair. No need to strong arm it.”

Placing her hands on the arms, she began to scoot it back over to their table, bowing to the applause and well wishes! “Get the foot rest,” she said to him and together they walked the furniture back to their area.

Those around them had gone back to their own business and inside she was seething. “What the fuck?” she scowled at him as she plumped the pillows.

“I was chasing it,” he replied, unhappily. “It knew I was trying to…to…”

“To what?” she laughed. “Have your merry way with it? Come on Richard. It is a night of revelry and delight.  Ghost and goblins! Witches and warlocks! All things of the murky shadows and dark, malignant hell pits come out and play on this night,” she laughed.

“Well,” he harrumphed, “you know they all know Northman. Probably on his pay role. Certainly they are all on a first name bases.”

“Well, let us find out for sure, what do you say. Find him for me. With this Throne, I am now ready to entertain him.  So, go on now, shew! Bring me my lover and let the rest of the evening speak of romance and glad tidings yet to be announced.”

“You want me to mingle?” and there was shock in his voice. “With…with…” he looked around. “With…”

“Child,” she was shaking her head. “You have lost your connection with the common man. These good folks are the source of your nourishment and entertainment. You have no respect for their toil so that they may fill Eric’s coffers or regard for their wellbeing so that my lover might feed from them and rule them while they are here.”

“What?” he stared at her. “Rule them?”

“Yes,” she arched an eyebrow at him. “Clearly, this is his kingdom. His. He is master of all while his business is open. He is not some penniless drifter as I had feared. Someone who was tossed about by lack of funding as Sophie-Anne, that skank, admired his long legs and handsome face. Here, he is a king, worthy of this queen.”

“What?” he took a step back. “Northman owns a fucking bar! I am the king of New York! Let me tell you about being the king of the Big Apple!” in his words were fury. “Have you any idea what it is like to deal with a New Yorker on a daily basis? Any New Yorker? Than multiply that times eight and one half million and you have my fucking nightmare!   Americans come with attitude as it is! And New Yorkers!  Pbbbllllttttttt!” he spit out.  “And the Weres that come out of New Jersey to bitch about the Weres in New York,” he made a gagging sound. “Somehow, they think I am responsible for that fucked up Were shit and bitch non-stop about how New York’s taxes infringes on their packs’ hunting grounds! They are the fucking Garden State! Purchase some land and rent it out. Or go drown in the Toms River. I do not give a fuck!

You, my queen,” he got down on his knees,  his hands beseeching her, “sit in Mother Russia where all bow and scrape and I sit here in the New World where everyone thinks they are an avenging angel and I am lower than Were shit! Just looking to bring me the true death and overthrow my throne and purchase O’ Canada and raise American bison! Although what the fuck for, I have no idea. This is the madness that I deal with each new dark. This stares me in the face when I rise and kicks my ass when I go to my rest! Only to toss and turn and wonder if I can possibly get through one twenty-four hour period without some politician calling me and wanting me to give them campaign money! Talking to me like they are my equal. Fuck-ing blood bags,” he snorted through his nose.

“Jealous of The Viking, are we,” she grinned. “Feel better?”

Glaring at her, he nodded his head yes.

“Richard, you amuse me, or that would have been your final tirade. Child, just so we understand each other, you will never rule in my stead and Eric will be my king. Not that I will allow him to rule, either. Now, before I command you to stake yourself, rise o’ ye of faint undead heart and just exactly what color is your hair now and go and find my lover.”

“It is called Frasier Ginger,” he replied standing and offering her a grand, sweeping bow.

“Well, it makes you look like a leprechaun who has stuck his finger in a light socket. You look quite ill.”

“Seriously,” he replied.

“Yes,” she nodded. “You have not the skin tones for it. Or the Scottish brogue. Or the tartan. You are Swiss-French, Richard. Get over it. Brown hair, some type of gypsy brown to your skin and your eyes so pale blue it is like they have no color at all. I have seen dead fish washed up on the shore with more color.”

“I am so killing my hair dresser,” he pouted. “She said I looked very hip and in style and trustworthy.”

“Trustworthy,” she snorted. “No,” she rolled her eyes and fluttered her hand at him. “You look like a plague victim waiting for the blow flies to escort you to the funeral pyre.”

“Anything at all handsome about me?” he sobbed.

“Your shoes still hold a shine,” she said in a matter of fact voice looking him up and down.

“I will find Northman,” he said with another bow, then he turned on his heel and left.

“I somehow doubt that,” she sighed and then winked at the two males who were sitting alone at their table while their dates went to the lady’s room.

“Care to dance?” she cooed at them.

“Both?” they mouthed.

“Yes,” she replied and nodded, fluttering her eyelashes just  a bit.

They both stood and approached her.  “Do you know The Black Bottom?” she asked. “Perhaps followed by The Tango and then The Charleston? And,” she winked again, “if you boys can keep up, perhaps The  Ménage à Trois?”

“At your service,” they both smiled at her and led her out onto the dance floor.

“Ought oh,” Pam snickered into her head set, “looks like we are going to need clean up on aisle six. The ladies just returned looking for their dates who seem to not be present.

And look, Ric-Dic has made his way to the Library. Look at him feeling up those books! He remembers that passage way from there to the sex room. O.I. you are on, and please do not disappoint.”

“I will be waitin’ on him,” he grinned.

“Sex room?” they all heard Sookie over the headset.

“The Child’s area,” Eric replied. “Her sole domicile in the chateau.”

“I was so cheated,” she huffed over the headset. “All that elegant space and Eric made me keep all my toys in there. I had some real conversations starters for some otherwise drab and boring parities that he hosted. I mean, some guests were real sleepers. I had butt-plugs more interesting than that Viscount’s telling of his newest saddle. But no-o-o-o, Pammy had to keep her dolls and marbles in the playroom,” she pouted.

“Well,” Eric smiled. “Richard has found the secret panel and is making his way down the stairs. Bringing up the cameras in the secret passageway.”


“Ah-h-h Eric,” Richard chuckled, “you do not disappoint. Now, I wonder what is behind door number one. Looks to be some sort of metal alloy on this side. Oh my, just how naughty do we get?” he asked, turning the handle.

“Dark,” he muttered. “This is not possible. I can see in the blackest of pits. But this is…is so dark…and what is that smell? Eric, you naughty boy, just what do you do in here?”

“What doesn’t he do in here?” came the low, dastardly chuckle.

“Who is that? I am the king of New York, I demand that you make yourself known!”

Richard was slapped upside the head and went flying across the room. When he hit the wall, he went splat and then stopped.

“You will pay for this outrage,” he bellowed as he stood and went charging in the direction of the voice. Only to be slapped on the other side of his head.

There was a cut on his cheek and he could feel the blood oozing out.

“I am going to bring you the final death,” Richard whispered. “And then I am going to destroy Northman.”

“Mo’ fo’n,” came the chuckle. “Been a while since anyone has taken on a hell-mouth!”

In the darkness, Richard could see it, the fiery pit of hell, with razor long teeth at the opening as he was caught up on the air current of sulfur and ammonia before he felt the fire burn his skin!

His wails of despair started in earnest and he began backing up, trying to escape the devil’s eyes that were telling him of his past sins and all of his naughty ways!  When he could go no further, he slid down the wall and began screaming!

“I’m on this,” Pam said. “Make sure you get my good side.”

Richard was still screaming when the lights came on.

“What the fuck, your majesty?” Pam said as she carried a basket that she was filling from the wine racks.

“I…I…I thought I saw…” he stopped.

Northman’s child was looking at him with distrust.

“I was in the library,” he began the lie, “when I heard this noise behind a wall. “Well, I went looking, hoping it was not rats. And if it was, I would kill them, because I know that the health department can shut you down. So, I followed the noise down here and…and…and…”

“Did you see the hell mouth?” she asked.

“Possibly?” he answered.

“Mm-m,” she nodded as she went on filling the basket. “Eric had his witch install one down here. Someone on the staff kept stealing the private stock.”

“So…?” Richard stood up and began brushing his clothes off. “Why not just drain them?”

“That is so yesterday,” she rolled her eyes. “And leaves you with a body to deal with. This way,  when someone tries to walk out with a bottle, the hell mouth opens and a demon reaches out and grabs the offender. Of course, it costs us the bottle of wine, but we have gotten rid of some partners who thought they could sell it to a private bidder. Eric has some bottles down here that are over five hundred years old. Of course, they probably taste like piss and vinegar, but what the fuck do we care? Bragging rights are everything, especially when you are entertaining, here.”

“A witch…” Richard was starting to see a plan! A plan where he could be KING! And his maker…the true death!

“May I speak to Eric about purchasing her services?”

“You can,” Pam laughed gleefully, “but you will not be walking out of that meeting with your heart still in your chest.”

“Oh surely,” he smiled, “we could come to some sort of agreement. I mean, Queen Catherine is my maker. Money is not a problem and he would always be welcome in New York.”

“And this witch is Mrs. Eric Northman,” Pam added with a smile. “And she is not for sale.”

Richard took a step back. “Seriously, Northman married a breather?”

“That would be Mrs. Eric Northman to you,” she said, raising both eyebrows at him. “Under no circumstances are you ever to address her as anything but his Mrs. After he rips the heart from you, he will toss you into that hell mouth.

What do you think really happened to de Castro?” she snickered.  “That story about the sniper killing him was just a wee bit of a lie to see who else Eric could possibly pull into his tiny web of  step right on up and disrespect my wife. Phillip is right now the main meal for many in Hell. If you sit down here long enough and embrace the dark, you can hear him screaming above all the others. My maker lives for this shit.

You know how Eric is actually a war monger at heart. His Viking ways and his Mrs. hold him in good stead. He gets all pissed-off and berserker rage fired up and she just kisses him on the nose and says, Lover, let me take care of this for you. Damn, you should see what she did to a pack of Weres that HRM S-A sent this way.”

“Is…is she a local girl? Or did Eric bring her in from N.O.”

“Oh fuck,” Pam laughed. “She is as local as they come. Of course, her people moved here from Cornwall. You know, Romans, Druids, Celts, and everything the Vikings drug in with them from their homeworld to include dragons and who knows what else runs through her blood. Plus, she teaches Sunday school at a Baptist church, so she has that whole blood of Jesus thing going on as well.”

“That…that is a lot to take in,” he said softly.

“Yes, it is,” she replied. “Now, I will escort you back up the stairs so I can lock that library door. Would not do for any of the happy party goers to wander down here and think to drink without a tab. When the demons get to roaring and cheering each other on, it can get a bit rowdy and heard all over the building. Plus that sulfur and ammonia smell. It is meant to knock a human out so they are easily pulled in. We really do not want that wafting through the building. We do not want to be accused of gassing our guests.”


Richard was back at the table and sitting as he watched his maker dance. It was obvious from the way she was grinning that the two young men had provided her with a bit of stress relief. Which was good, because she was not going to take the news of Northman being married very well.

“Too bad I cannot get her down into the wine cellar, toss her a bottle of the grape and let the demons eat her.”

“Ouch,” he said as he felt several somethings sharp poke him in the butt.

Standing, he could see several miniscule pieces of the chairs bottom, reminding him of hairs, sticking straight up.

“If I had a piece of sand paper!” he sneered at the chair. He felt several small somethings hit his face and lodge there.

Pulling one out, it was a splinter. “Perhaps the fireplace would be more fitting,” he smiled and then vamp speed, he was gone to the men’s room to pluck away his five o’clock shadow that consisted of  miniscule pieces  wood.


Dear Readers,

Happy New Year!

It is good to be back on some type of schedule. I still need to take down Christmas decorations, but I am finding time for writing. Not much time, as you can see by the very short chapter…but I will take what I can get!

Hope your holidays were indeed, blessed. On to 2019!

Be blessed and be the blessing,







Talk to Me—Chapter 14


talk to me coveere pageChapter 14

Talk to Me 

The characters of the Southern Vampire Mysteries belong to Miss Charlaine Harris. No infringement on my part is intended.The characters on True Blood belong to Mr. Alan Ball. No infringement on my part is intended.

I have no BETA, editor, or other such charming person. All mistakes are my own. This Story is rated M.

Chapter 14


O.I., in his Tor persona had sat quietly through-out the showdown between the Were and the magics. As he and Adele walked out to the parking lot, she squeezed his hand.

“You are very quit, O.I.”

“It just astounds me, fair lady, that Big T could just walk herself into the club and expect to take something that was not hers. I mean,” he shook his head, his voice full of disbelief, “that she honestly thought she could have sex with Eric and Miss Sookie, even if they did not wish to participate, just because she did.­­­­­­­ How do you get to that mindset?

You are not to abuse your power,” he said, “all answers to The Light. You are to be a good steward and when your time comes, you are to answer for that stewardship.”

“Goodness is a core value in you,” she smiled at him and raising his hand, brought it to her lips for a kiss. “Let’s go home. I could do with some of your most excellent loving.”

“Home it is,” he grinned as they walked into the shadows and he shifted to dragon. Climbing onto his back, they were airborne and streaking across the night sky.



“Could I interest you in a night of romancing?” Eric smiled sweetly at Sookie as he locked the front door. “I happen to know where there is a lovely penthouse apartment overlooking the Dallas skyline. I cannot get you there on the wings of a dragon, but I can fly,” he smiled at her smugly.

“You are so handsome,” she chuckled, “when you look like I really am all that.”

“Well, that would be because I am,” he winked at her. “And I am yourI really am all that. Say it after me, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine….”




Everyone in the king of New York’s residence was hiding, somewhere! Fearful to be gone, fearful to be in attendance! Dread oozed from the walls and from the cracks in the mirrors that were all now broken!

The king’s maker  had come to visit! Panic and terror followed her wherever she went and her cursing was ripe with hate and distrust and loathing for all that was not hers!

There was presently screaming and cursing as Catherine’s rage tore through the King of New York’s home! The phone was on speaker and she was furious!

“What do you mean,” she screeched, “that the Queen of Louisiana is indisposed! I am the queen of the Old World Empire! She will be finally dead, and all of you with her, if you do not put her on the phone!”

“Sorry my Mrs., but this is just old Crankshaft. All my betters are somewhere else and I was left to answer the phone and the door. I have not been left in charge of the phone before. Opening the door is my job. And I do it right smartly. But this is my first time to answer the phone. So I apologize for any mistakes on my part but there is no one else to take the calls because

there are not many folks about and no folks with authority. They are all busy someplace else.

The old HQ is being demolished and the borrowed new HQ  has to be funded and renovated and there are workmen about, union paid laborers and they are not to be bothered under any circumstance. So there is no one to yes or no your questions. If you wish to end me, I am present, but there are not any others for you to end. Except for Union laborers and they are not to be touched.”

Catherine was staring at the phone with her mouth open. “Find someone,” she hissed.  “I am not to be kept waiting. I am the queen of the Old Empire,” she stated again with authority.

“Yes my Mrs., my mind might not be right but nothing wrong with my hearing. I heard you the first time.”

“A simpleton,” she was shaking her head in disbelief, “I am reduced to speaking with a simpleton,” she said to no one, not caring that Crankshaft could hear her.

“Well, maybe we can make the most of this situation,” she smiled at Richard.

“Dear Crankshaft,” she addressed the phone. “I understand about Unions. Truly,” she said and was rolling her eyes and shaking her head no. “So, perhaps I could chat with you. You were left in charge of the phone.”

“Yes Mrs.,” he said with pride, “I was.”

“Most excellent, your phone manners are impeccable. I understand why your queen left you in charge. Now, I have heard all manner of rumors. Everyone in Europe seems to think that…well, she finally stepped on some very war mongering toes,” her voice lowered and became conspiratorial, “did The Viking really blow up her headquarters?” she asked.

“I have no way of knowing that, Mrs. But that is the speculation. I have heard plenty times my queen curse    him for his due diligence.”

Catherine stared at the phone. “What?” she said as she motioned for her child Richard, the king of New York, to rub her feet.  “What do you mean by that?”

“I have heard it said that The Viking acts with a certain standard of care. That he does his due diligence before he commits to anything. My queen seemed to think he had committed to blowing up HQ. And the blowing up was done with such expertise, that I therefor assume he did his due diligence, if it was indeed the Sheriff of Area Five of which no one has proven.”

“Did…did…” it was too horrible to consider, “did that slut Sophie-Anne want him to commit to her in marriage?”

“Have no way of knowing that Mrs,” he replied. “There was always our queen moping about and wishing her Sheriff of Area Five lived closer. When Compton would gloat that he did not, she would have a screaming fit and have Compton silvered. He never did learn, that one. Was stupid and enjoyed it our Queen said more than once.”

“Crankshaft,” she softened her voice, “have you any idea where she might be?”

“No Mrs. Big tip-top secret! The Viking came down to see her new temporary HQ and when he left, she grabbed a few things, took her money manager and day walker and left in a hurry. I think she was fearful of what he might do, but since this house belongs to the city, I don’t think The Viking would do anything. He is very civic minded. He actually belongs to the Rotary Club in Shreveport. All the vamps here had a good laugh about that. He is the only one in our kingdom that does.”

Catherine looked down at Richard and said “invaluable,” as she clapped her hands together and grinned.

“Well thank you Crankshaft, you have been very helpful. When I speak with your queen, I shall tell her how blessed she is to have you working for her.”

“Thank you Mrs.,” he said. “There is the door. I have to go now.”

“Yes,” she smiled as he hung up.

“Yes,” she was still smiling when she looked at Richard.

“Mrs., well yes, I could be Eric’s Mrs.,” she sighed happily.

Crankshaft hung up his phone. Pamela had shifted all the phone calls coming into the residence to him. Checking caller I.D. he either answered them or let them roll to whose job it was to answer the phone at the residence.  And everything was recorded, to include all the incoming and outgoing phone numbers and went to Pamela in real time.

“It is a mystery how that idiot female has not met the true death,” he said with a shake of his head. “Well, maybe tomorrow night,” he chuckled as he took a blood out of the mini-fridge and found Buffy the Vampire Slayeron TV. His suite in The Blood on the Quarter was lovely. Miss Pamela said it was his home for as long as he wanted to keep it.  “Very good to me, the Mistress is,” he sighed as he picked up his cat Queenie, snuggled in and watched the little blonde kick ass!


Pamela was in her office at the club and was indeed, listening in real time. “Simpleton,” her eyes narrowed and her fangs popped down! “How dare you call Old Cranky a simpleton! Well, I hope Eric let’s me end you. If not, I will have my fun before you meet the true death!” Pam went out into the club and started chatting up the magics. “This,” she said holding up a photo of Catherine, “is the bitch that insulted my good and faithful friend.”

“We’ll get her Mistress,” they all clapped and cheered and whistled. “She will find no comfort here! Miserable she will be! Splinters in her ass and silver in her drink! We will see to it!”

Pam turned to go and standing at the door that led to the back area was Alcide.

“Nice view,” she said as she sauntered over and hung a mug over his erect penis.  “Can I get you a beer?” she asked sweetly.

“Cher, you are just all kinds of funny,” he smiled at her and removed the mug. “A beer is not what I want,” he took a step toward her and tossed the mug onto a table.

“I generally leave Weres dying from laughter,” she responded with an arch of her eyebrow.

“Why Cher,” he throbbed his member at her, “I seem to be still alive and willing to please.” Placing his hands on her ass, he pulled her nude body up and impaled her on him.

With a thrust of his hips, she glared at him. “I only do girls,” she thrust back and felt him satisfy the space inside of her.

“Myself as well,” his voice was low as he pulled them both down onto the floor with her on top.  “Ride me,” he grinned at her. “Please,” his voice got lower as his hands started to roam over her body.

“You want a reverse cowboy?” she asked as she pinched his nipples.

“Fuck yes,” he growled. “Show me that perfect ass of yours.”

“You want it vamp speed?” she grinned as she turned around and slid into her the only penis that seemed to be just right.

“I always want it vamp speed,” he howled when she bit his inner thigh.

“Say please,” she turned to look at him, licking her lips.

“Please,” he said sitting up and turning her around to face him.

Wrapping her legs around his back, Pam began a slow   and steady rhythm.

His growls filled the quiet as she squeezed her vaginal muscles and he whispered, “Harder…please harder…”

“See,” she pulled his head down and kissed him. “You don’t like it vamp speed. The one time I did that to you,  I swear, your dick got two inches shorter. Just rubbed you down to a nub.”

“You make me crazy,” his growl was low and throaty.

“Good,” she licked his neck and then leaning down, sucked his nipple. When he howled, she looked up at him. “I have the cure for crazy. I just figure that is what keeps you comin’ back around.”

“I am there!” he spit out, gritting his teeth.

“No you’re not,” she grinned at him as she slowed her pace and relaxed her muscles. “Not yet, you big stud. Not even close,” she sighed as she closed her eyes and ground around on him in pleasure. Pushing her cleavage together, his mouth latched onto both nipples. There was a touch of his teeth and she got off in Crazy as well.


“Sunrise is coming,” Pam sighed as she slid off the handsome Were. “Time for you to get dressed and get your ass to work.”

“When you own the company, Cher, you can take the day off when you feel the need to. And I am feelin’ the need. Let me sleep with you today.”

“Is it your birthday? Or Christmas?” she looked at him cross-eyed.

“No,” he responded as his hand settled on her hip. “I just want to sleep with you today. Be there when you wake up. Help you get dressed for tonight’s to-do.”

“Aren’t you working tonight’s to-do? I seem to recall seeing your name on the worker bees list,” she eyed him. “I expect you to be Were fresh, not the best fuck of your life worn out.”

There was that look on his face. She had spent enough time with him that she now recognized it. “What?” she stroked his face with her hand. “You worried for little ‘ole me?”

“Catherine has all kinds on the ground. Has for the past week. I know that is not news to you but they are starting to piss me off, in a big way. Chatting up my crew, trying to chat me up. All buddy-buddy, nudge-wink and let me buy you coffee. Shit, if they bought me the entire North American continent, I still would not tell them anything.”

“Well what got your panties in a wad?” she asked.

“Had one come to me at the job site yesterday. Bringing me a hamburger and a milk shake. Scratching his balls and talking trash about  how we could rule Louisiana when The Sheriff and his bitch of a child were carried back to Russia. He confided that Catherine is willing to let the Weres run this state and collect her taxes after we take our percentage.”

“Oh…” Pam nodded, “and since you don’t pay a supernatural tax, you are not going to start paying one now.”

“Something like that,” he growled and pulled her up onto him.

Placing her hands around his neck, she wrapped her legs around his waist. “Or is it the fact she wants to haul my magnificence off to Russia,” she kissed him on the nose and then there was a small thrust of her hips.

“You think you have me figured out, huh?” Alcide smiled at her.

“Well, let us just say I know what you like,” she laughed as she pushed into and out of him at vamp speed.

“Make it last, cowboy,” she nibbled on his ear as his breathing increased and she could hear the pounding of his heart!

“Do it,” he yelled, “fucking do it,” as his thighs began to quiver and he was there…oh gawd…he was there and it started at his toes and centered in his dick and then she bit…he was bucking hard against her, driving her into the wall!

She was smiling at him when he opened his eyes. “You are going to have to say it,” she whispered.

“I worry about you,” he whispered back.

“And…” she kissed his nose.

“I love you.”

“You can stay with me, today,” she said as she slid down from him.

As she started to walk off, he took her hand and pulled her back to him.

“Say it,” his eyes were burning orange with Were passion.

“I trust you,” she replied, honesty in her words. “As I trust only Eric.”

The both stopped and looked toward the ceiling.

“On the roof,” they both mouthed to each other.

“Sounds like Gabin and Raphael are making short work of them,” Pam smiled.

“Yes,” Sir Irwin approached them. “Mistress Sookie woke up all the magics. The outside gargoyles have always been alive, but apparently she has blessed the roof as well. All those old slate tiles were apparently taken off Snow White’s castle.”

“Well just damn,” Pam chuckled. “The Winter Princess lives on, bless her old-ways magic and all her falderal and fiddle-de-dee. Bet she did not see that coming when she checked her cauldron full of pumpkin seeds and virgin snow and met the true death. Let’s take the tunnel. My place or yours?”

“The cubby at my place can accommodate me. I have no place to pee at your place.”

“The Wolf’s Lair it is. Let’s get dressed and make that happen. I could do with another romp before sunrise.”

“Woman…I am down to a nub…” Alcide began as he watched her perfect ass sashay towards the door to the back. “Well fuck yeah!” he grinned and air pumped as he ran to catch up with her. “That sweet vampire ass…” he sighed as she slipped onto his back and he carried her piggy-back the rest of the way, “cannot get enough of that.”






Dear Readers,

Shortest of the short! Writing when I can find a few minutes…

On to the holy days and holidays!

As always, thanks for reading!

Be blessed and be the blessing,


Talk to Me—Chapter 13

talk to me coveere page

Talk to Me

Chapter 13

The characters of the Southern Vampire Mysteries belong to Miss Charlaine Harris. No infringement on my part is intended. The characters on True Blood belong to Mr. Alan Ball. No infringement on my part is intended.

I have no BETA, editor, or other such charming person. All mistakes are my own. This Story is rated M.


“Long live the Queen,” was yelled one last time as Pamela smiled and twirled in the air.  Cedric caught her  as she floated gracefully down and placed her on the ground.

“I could get use to that,” Pam batted her eyelashes and adjusted her lipstick with her little finger.

“But in the meantime, All Hallow’s is coming and I have one more night to fine tune for our out-of-town guests. Would anyone care to join me? It will not be as grand as tonight’s entertainment, but then, who knew this dark was going to end in such a majestic and glorious way? Seriously, the true death to both Compton and S-A. And I got to ride a dragon! What a grand evening!”

“Seeing Fangtasia as a customer. That sounds like fun,” Sookie smiled at Eric. “I would love to see the club from that point of view and what new mischief can be added to help the evenin’ along.”

All eyes settled on Sookie. All of them with an arched eye brow.

“Blood of my blood,” Eric smiled at her.

“And blood of my bond,” she replied back.

“They think alike,” Ian nodded. “I like it.”


All Hallow’s Eve Eve—-Fangtasia

“This place looks great decked out for Halloween,” Sookie smiled as she walked around with Eric as her escort. Sidestepping waitresses and bus boys that kept the area filled with alcohol and also clean and tidy. “And I love what you have done with the library. Are those really haunted mirrors you have hung up in here?” as the one closest to her smiled and winked and blew her a kiss.

“Not haunted,” Erc grinned, “just magic. “The only season they get to talk to customers and show off their stuff is when we decorate for All Hallow’s Eve. Then it is all for one and one for all! They make up for the lack of interaction they have not had the rest of the year.”

Sookie was all grins as she waved at different pieces of furniture and they waved back. “I have never seen this part since it was finished. I have always worked the back  area when I came in. This is beautiful. Looks just like a Gothic manor house! I love this library! The stained glass is incredible!”

“Do you want to live here?” he asked. “We can convert it into a home.”

“What?” Sookie punched him in the ribs. “Stop that. This is your place of business.”

“This is our place of business,” he corrected her. “And we have others.”

“No, it is beautiful,” she said wistfully, “but Pam seems to be very happy here. And she is going to need a place where they shall bow and scape to her,” she said with a smile. “I would not take that from her.”

“You have a very kind heart,” Eric ran his finger along the side of her face.

“Nawwww,” she smiled back at him. “It is just where ever I go, Gran is going to be there also. And she likes living at the farmhouse. Bon Temps is where her friends live. But maybe she would like to vacation in Europe. We have always dreamed of going there.”

“Very doable,” Eric said as he put her hand back on his arm and they continued their journey back out into the club.

“Bathroom, please,” Sookie said as she watched the folks out on the dance floor.

“This way, my lady,” Eric responded and strolled with her over to the ladies’ room.

As Sookie walked through the door, a tall and well- muscled female was at the sink dressed in biker leather pants and no shirt, bathing her upper body.

“Lordy,” Sookie thought not wanting to stare, but there was no missing the snakes she had tattooed on her breasts, starting at the base of them and going around and around until the snakes fangs were in her nipples.

As Sookie walked to a stall, the woman pulled down paper towels, dried off and thankfully, picked up a jacket and zipped it up.  Well sorta, she stopped under her cleavage and left things there just poking and falling out. The woman smiled at herself in the mirror then she was out the door.

“Lordy,” Sookie was shaking her head. “Please Jesus,” she whispered, “thank you for not ever letting me think that was my best look.  Or for making that fashion statement. Or drinking too much tequila…or whatever…” she sighed as she closed the stall door. “I know I should not judge…but just lordy!”


Pam was in vigilant mode. There were several spies here tonight scoping out the place. “Posers,” she smiled to herself as she nodded to the gargoyles placed strategically up by the roof in Fealty Hall. With a wink and a smile to her they were back on duty.

Oh! There was her maker. Eric was standing over to one side talking with Samuel. The Kings of Nothing were dancing and well…would you just look at that. Herveaux was sitting at the bar when a Frankenstein female approached him.  Complete with the monster’s boots and what appeared to be bolts sticking out of her neck. And there was no mistaking the smell of New Orleans that clung to her. And…and…had she used the soap in the ladies to bathe with?

“Just what the fuck is that about?” she muttered as she walked over to the bar and started to pour drinks at the end farthest from them.

“Packmaster,” Alcide said when she walked up to the bar.

“Packmaster,” she nodded and sat down on a bar stool. “You ready to do the introduction?”
“Sure,” he finished his beer. “But I can tell you, Northman does not hire out of town for anything. He goes local.”

“Says you,” she snickered. “Maybe I can offer him things you cannot.”

“I don’t think he fucks Weres either.”

Big T regarded the Shreveport packmaster. “Just how well do you know this deader? You maybe date him and want to keep that good time for yourself?”

“Tuesday-Wednesday,” he began.

“Do not call me that,” she gave him a low growl.

“Is your name,” Alcide replied. “It is not my fault you were born at midnight and your momma  could not decide what to call you. Now what is this about? I thought you were looking for work, but sounds like you are wanting to get into bed with the deader.”

“I have not done a vamp. Thought I would mark it off my bucket list. And since I am going to do a vamp, thought I might as well start at the top of the list.”

Alcide was shaking his head at the wonder of it all. “Do you know anything,” he stressed,  “at all,” he emphasized,  “about Northman?”

“Sure. Tall, good looking, stud. Likes fast women and fast cars. I am a fast woman and I have a fast bike. And there is a lot of me to love. And I like being loved. There is no such thing as too rough. Or too long, or too big. I am,” she gave him a full moon  tooth smile, “a snake charmer.”

Alcide drew back into his chair and glared at her. “So the real reason you called me here was to be your pimp.”

“No!” she hissed at him. “Just an introduction. I can take it from there.”

He growled at her. “Procurer, I believe is the term Sophie-Anne would use. I believe she uses Bill Compton for that purpose. To find her people she can fuck and suck. I am out of here. You find him on your own.”

“You think this is going to work out for you, Packmaster?” she grinned. “We have got some bad mombo-jumbo brewing in a pot in New Orleans, Cher. I mean, some bad stuff. You could come down with just about anything that could kill you. Same could be said of Northman and all the other deaders that walk in here.”

“You threatening me?” Alcide’s eyes turned orange as he took a step toward her.

“You don’t scare Big T, baby doll,” she grinned at him. “Nothing scares Big T. I have a voodoo priestess who likes to suck my tits and fuck me with a two-sided dildo as we go screaming two hundred and ten miles an hour down the big road on my bike. And it is not just for sex that she likes me. She likes everything about me. I am a snake charmer. One of the best around. You want to live to fuck another something with your own dick and not a pretend dick,  you go find me Northman. Because with the right words muttered over that big old pot of badness, your stick just might rot off.”

Alcide grinned at her. Big and toothy. “Not scareable, huh?” he chuckled “Well that is about to change. I will introduce you to the big blond. I hope I get to watch what he does to you that puts you in the state mental hospital.”

Alcide put his beer down on the bar.

When Pam leaned across the bar to take his empty bottle, she winked at him. “Bathroom,” she mouthed. “Not scareable,” she rolled her eyes.

Alcide choked back a chuckle and went to find Eric.  Spotting him, Alcide approached him and was surprised when a small blonde came out and she put her arm around him and he leaned down and kissed her.

“Eric…” he said with a nod of his head. “And Sookie, right?”

“Yes,” she smiled and held out her hand.

“Alcide, I would like for you to meet my wife, Sookie Northman,” Eric added with a grin.

“What…?” his voice trailed off and then broke into laughter. “Well, congratulations and this is interesting. Eric, the packmaster of New Orleans is here and she wants to meet you so she can…well…” he looked at Sookie and then back at Eric, “have intimate knowledge of you. I told her I was not her pimp or her procurer and she said she was not scared of anything and that she was presently having carnal knowledge of  a voodoo priestess who would curse, me, mine, and yours if you did not step up and your know, get undressed and participate. I might be paraphrasing a bit because my momma taught me how to act in front of ladies, but you get the idea.”

“So that is why Pamela is working behind the bar. So she could listen in,” Eric said directing his sight over to The Child who mouthed “not scareable” and was holding her sides and pantomiming laughing hysterically.

“Well by all means,” Sookie smiled at Alcide. “Bring the bitch over. She can’t be scared, we’ll see about that. Eric, what time does the bar close?”

“Oh my bride,” he chuckled wickedly. “Right now if you so desire it. Last call is normally at two. It is now one.  Let us toy with her for an hour and then have our fun.”

“Ah-h-h-h, Eric…” Alcide was grinning. “Is there any way at all that I can stick around and watch the after-hours fun?”

“We’ll see what we can work out,” he chuckled. “But in the meantime, please, bring her over.”

Sookie watched Alcide walk over to the woman whose evening was not going to end as well as she would have liked.

“Oh hell no,” Sookie said with disgust.

“My bride?” Eric asked.

“I saw her in the bathroom. She had nothing on but snake tattoos on her breasts. She was washing her upper body then dried off and got dressed. You know, by zipping up her jacket.”

“How do you want to play this?” Eric asked.

“I am your wife,” Sookie smiled sweetly, “I have this.”

Pam, not wanting to miss the show, left the bar and was vamp speed over to Eric to discuss what type of mayhem was going to ensue and did she need to sell tickets?

“Child,” Eric was explaining to her as Alcide and Big T approached. “We cannot record what goes on here. You know we have to have release forms and all manner of legal-eze. Do you really want to go through all that?”

“Eric,” Alcide said and The Viking turned to face him.

“Packmaster,” he replied. “What can I do for you this evening?”

“I have someone that would like to meet you.”

“I have this,” Big T stepped up and pushed Alcide out of the way. “Eric Northman,” she smiled at him with orange in her eyes. “I am Big T. The packmaster out of New Orleans.”

“You are Stennis’ sister. I can see the resemblance. What happened to James Joseph?”

“What?” she stared intently at him. “You knew my brother? And his name was Jimmy Joe.”

“No,” Eric shook his head, “it was not. When he did business with me, he always used James Joseph. Not his nick name.”

With his peripheral vision, Eric saw Alcide blink. “Think on that,” Eric chuckled to himself.

There was a bit of confusion on her face. Alcide just stood back and watched, hoping he could learn a few pointers in the game of one-upmanship.

“How did you know my brother?” she finally managed to get out.

“You honestly think I sit alone in my ivory vampire tower? Foolish Were child,” he chided her.

“I am not a child,” she hissed. “Do you see these,” she said unzipping her jacket, her breasts now exposed as she pulled the leather back and jutted out her chest. “Nothing there says child,” she sputtered.

Sookie looked up at the woman. “I would thank you to keep yourself covered in front of my husband.”

There was a look of a complete disconnect as Big T took a step forward. “He is married, to you? Why, you are just a bit of nothing. Just a blonde bobble headed doll. And do not think about pulling that knife you are wearing,” she hooted. “I would be around during the day to visit with you while he sleeps. And after I had finished with you, you would never go back to driving stick, baby girl. Of course, a three-way could be fun.”

“Just what are you here for?” Sookie asked.

“I want to fuck the big blond,” she stated matter-of-fact. “And now that I have met the wife, I want to fuck you, too.”

Smiling, she looked over at Eric. “I have friends in very powerful places, vamp. A lot of them. And seems I did them all a big favor with the message I sent out today. I can guaran-damn-tee you, the little woman, she will never be safe. And while you are down for the day, maybe you won’t  be either.”

“Threats,” Eric said nodding. “Very effective way to get my attention. And maybe very dangerous for you.”

“I do not scare,” she replied. “I have a voodoo madam that is my part time lover when she is not my fulltime voodoo priestess. Nothing scares me. You should be terrified.”

“Point well taken,” Sookie spoke up. “The club will be closed at two. When everyone leaves, and I do mean everyone,” she arched an eyebrow at Pam, “we can check Eric off your to-do list.

Miss Pamela, if you would please, start last call. I feel the need to have some sweet alone time in the library with Eric before this brute thinks to have her way with my husband. I just do not see that happenin’, but what the fuck, I am up for some deep and soul satisfying amusement. You think you know magic,” Sookie grinned at her, “Eric comes from a long line of magickers and so do I with a great big dose of covered in the blood of Jesus thrown in. Just bring us your fucked up shit. By the time we finish you, you will not be able to shift to Were. So I am guessin’ you can kiss your packmaster days goodbye.

Before the games begin, I feel like dancing before we get intimate. Husband, if you would be so kind as to lead me out onto the dance floor and then let us dance our way into the library.”

Eric offered Sookie his arm and the two strolled away, leaving Big T there with her mouth open and Pamela keeping her face in bitch neutral, instead of shouting “Way to go Momma Sookie! You rock! I am proud to call you mine! And really, I have to leave?”

Alcide was shaking with laughter. “Better run, run now,” he winked at the woman who was starting to turn purple in the face. “I am off the opinion the little tiny Mrs. is going to skin you for your pelt with that knife she wears strapped to her side.  Packmaster,” his eyes got orange, “I believe I understand who killed your brother,” he was wolf grinning. “Coming into Eric’s area in broad daylight without an invitation. I would beware of the little blonde if I were you. That is a Viking knife she wears. I do believe her magic is probably older than yours.”

“Well,” she glared at him. “My brother  did not have your permission, either. How do I know youdid not kill him?”

“Why Cher,” he winked at her. “You don’t.

Listen,” he held a hand up to his ear. You could see the concentration on his face, “I do believe there is a beer calling my name,” he blew her a kiss and sauntered off.

“You cannot talk to me that way,” she hissed as she pulled out a chair, sat down, and motioned for a waitress. “Top shelf, a glass full of Kentucky’s finest,” she growled as the girl took her order and left.  “We will see about the Viking magic and whatever the little blonde thinks she blows out her ass,” she chuckled as she took out her phone and called her lover. The phone was ringing. And ringing….and still ringing.

“Princess, come on pick up,” she sat watching her phone willing it to even go to voice mail. “Nothing!” she snarled.

Getting up, she made her way to the front door and out into the parking lot. Hanging up, she dialed, again. “Nothing,” she rumbled as it rang three times and then silence. “She must be working my protection spell,” she nodded to herself as she dialed the number again and let it ring until the call dropped off. “How is it there is no cell tower reception?” she groused as she stood out in the parking lot, walking here and there, trying to get through, going through her settings and just cussing technology in general.

For the next hour she paced, walked the strip mall, and cussed!

For the next hour Sookie danced, laughed and got sexed up. Her screams of pleasure could be heard by those that were exiting the building and with the doors open, she could be heard out into the parking lot.


Meanwhile—In New Orleans

Princess was working her magic and trying to get through to Big T. “Come on!” she would wail. “Where is my woman? Work damn it!” she yelled at her phone, her cauldron, and the charm she had blessed with Big T’s menstrual blood. “Fucking work! She cannot just have dropped off the grid! Magic is magic and mine is all powerful! She is my woman! We are bound and I am bound and my magic is bound! Work!” she wailed as a cold gust of air pushed past her and into the fireplace where it tipped over her cauldron and with a flurry of sparks, out went the fire! From the cold, dark chimney came a hand, made of blue lightning. “Fo-o-o-o-o-o-l,” the laughter sounded out the word and as it reached for Princess, she fainted!


Parking lot of Fangtasia

It was ten minutes until two o’clock. Big T watched the last car drive away. She stood there staring at the building. “It is just a warehouse made up to look like a gothic manor,” she told herself as she watched lights dance on top of a tower balcony. “Just a fucking warehouse. It is not haunted,” she said out loud as she heard whispers on the wind telling her to beware!  “Spooks do not abide there. There is no history attached to that building. It is just a warehouse,” she tauntd the building, shaking her fist.

“Inside that building is a vampire and a human female and maybe that Were shit Herveaux. I did not see him leave and I do not see his truck. Two is coming on,” she smiled and then took a step back. It looked like something with red eyes was watching her from the top of that tower. “You don’t scare me,” she smiled. “Touch me and die!”

Pam, Alcide, Gran, O.I., a Were and the vampires three were in her office, watching the club on the screen in real time.

“This is just the best,” Gran said sitting back in her chair, having a sip of wine.  “Brother Samuel, I thank you mightly for bringing this back from Israel. Very sweet and still light on the tongue.”

“You are more than welcome Miss Adele,” he bowed his head to her. “I am glad it has found favor with you.”

“Oh, the clock is chiming down the hour,” Ian wiggled his eyebrows. “And there goes Sookie and Eric to the door and stopping off to give marching orders to Sir Irwin. Why I do believe someone is knocking.”

“Punctual,” Cedric nodded. “I like that. Not at all afraid to have her fate handed to her. Or at least,” he chuckled, “not yet.”

“Just dumber than Were shit,” Alcide chuckled as he raised his bottle to his lips as he watched Sir Irwin head for the front door and Sookie and Eric where headed back to the office.


Big T was ready. She had howled at the moon, finger brushed her teeth and tweaked her nipples. Now was the time! The door knocker on the front door was massive. It was a Viking longboat with the men at the oars with the sails unfurled. Lifting it to hit the strike plate, she felt pain shoot through her fingers as the knocker fell and produced a loud boom that echoed.

Examining her fingers, there were  tiny ragged holes. Looking at the knocker, she could see that where her hand had made contact with the men and they had something red around their mouths. Leaning in and taking a sniff, it was her blood!

“Pbbbbblllttttt! Were!” she could have sworn she heard them cry out as rude noises and complaints continued.

“Wired for sound,” she told herself, repeatedly. “This entire building is wired for sound. And all manner of beastie and beauty lights and spooks!”

The door slowly swung open and there stood a suit of armor. “The Master and Mistress await you in the library,” he said as he stepped aside, allowing her to enter.

With a heavy thud, the door closed and the doors locked!

“Electronics,” she told herself. “The entire building is wired!”

The great hall was lit with candles and there was a fire in the fireplace. Shadows danced everywhere and there were rustling sounds coming from every direction. Unseen things skittering in the dark, making small movements that echoed around the empty chamber.

“Do you have a name?” she asked as they slowly walked along.

“I am Sir Irwin,” he replied.

“No really,” she stopped and so did he. Coming around so she stood face-to-face with him, she said again, “What is your name? Your legal name.”

“Sir Irwin,” he replied. “So states my baptismal record, which is held at Westminster Abbey.”

“You don’t sound British,” she laughed. “You sound a lot like my great grandpa. Lived in the mountains of North Carolina. I honestly expected better from Northman,” she snarked as she reached out and raised the visor.

“How?” she took a step back, “there…there is no one in there…”

His gloved hand came up an closed the visor. “Of course I am in here, you silly child. And because of your impudence,” his sword to turned to blue sparkles which he thrust into her and pulled out, “I have taken away your Were. Now be on your way,” he motioned with the sword in his hand which way she was to go and then nearby candles went out, only leaving enough lit so she could not see into the deep shadows.

“What the fuck!” she screeched feeling where the sword had gone in. Not finding anything wrong, she righted herself and reaching out her hand, she was expecting to hit metal but he was no longer there. Blinking, she brought the Were orange to her eyes. “Take away my Were my ass,” she hissed.  “Just what the fuck? Where did he go? And…” she felt something around her feet? “What is that?” as something went slithering past, leaving the sound of dry scales on the stone floor. There was a violent flapping sound as she was spun around in the air, being wrapped in some type of material then  dropped to the floor in a cocoon.

“Am I wrapped in a carpet? Really? This is just ridiculous! They have no idea who they are messing with! Show your fucking selves and get me out of here!” she screamed. “You will regret this! Well then, just a touch of the Were,” she yelled, “and I am coming for you!

Wait one, where is my wolf?” Using all of her concentration, she thought WOLF! Nothing. “This is not possible. I am a Were, I have skills, I change to a wolf! I fear nothing!”

“Liar, liar, liar,” she heard her dead brother chanting. “Liar…” he snickered. “You were scared of Daddy,” he laughed.

“Yes,” she snarled, “and I killed him. And I wish I had killed you!

Calm down Big,” she took a couple of strangled gulps of air. “Just get a grip. There is an explanation for all of this. So, let’s start by getting out of this. They wrapped me clock-wise, so if I role counter clock-wise,” she began carefully rolling across the floor, “I should come out of this, okay. Then they are all dead! I will find that suit of armor, take his sword, and blue flame Eric and his Mrs. up their asses!”

As she slowly rolled, along, she could hear someone sniffing her, nudging her with its head and rolling her back up.

“Go away!” she shouted. “Leave me be!”

From somewhere she heard a bell chiming and heard laughter that sounded like a waterfall!

“Table,” someone called out, “let her go so we can have our fun.”

Carefully, she began to unroll and met with no resistance. Standing up, she kicked out at the carpet, only it was not there and she feel on her ass! Then she was being pelted by pewter mugs! “Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!” she yelped, placing her hands over her head and back crawling away!

The embers gave off a soft glow from the fireplace! She was in a corner. Safe! For a while anyway! Slowly she stood up and glanced in a mirror that flanked the massive chimney. “Who the fuck is that?” she squeaked. “I mean, that cannot be me! That is some type of funhouse mirror! That cannot,” she stepped back, “be me!”

Slowly she approached the mirror and placed her hand on it. “It is me,” she sobbed. “Oh my gawd! It is me! I am five foot nothing and…and…still weigh two-thirty! Oh my gawd! That is not me!”

“Of course it is you,” a face appeared in the mirror. “Who else could it possibly be? You are looking in the mirror and there you are! Wa-a-a-a-la-a-a-a!”

“No-o-o-o-o-o!” she screamed. “That is not possible! No!”

“Let us play some round ball!” was called from the rafters as two large somethings took flight on the right side of the hall, and then two from the left!  Laughter was echoed and they were airborne.  Then she too   became airborne and was being tossed back and forth across the room, razor sharp claws nudging into her skin!

She could see just fine what was flinging her around about three stories up! From one horrid, putrid face, to another she went. Each one more horrible than the next! When she tried to scream, nothing came out!

“Looks like the gargoyles have her,” Sookie said. “Nice. I hope she does not puke.”

“Myself as well,” Pamela was watching the monitors. “Although this is vastly entertaining. I guess I would not mind some vomit. Who shrunk her down to five foot?”

“When I super charged Sir Irwin’s sword,” Sookie replied. “He got all kinds of super powers.”

“She gonna stay that tall?” Samuel asked.

“Well, until she is truly sorry for what she wanted to do to us,” Sookie replied. “Thinking Eric would like to do her…woof! Thinking I would prefer her over Eric! Really! Calling me a bobble-headed blonde. Really!” she huffed. “Someone needs to teach her some manners. And it looks like it is up to us.”

“You know she is never going to repent,” Samuel stated.

“Yes, I know,” Sookie sighed. “So I guess she is going to be a bobble head as well.”

“Sounds like she is beginning to become a bit unhinged,” Ian noted. “What is that sound she is making?”

“Not for sure,” Eric said. “But I say let the magics in the club have their fun for another hour. By that time, she should be this side of bat shit crazy. We’ll call 911 and let the local constables come and pick her up.

Oh, most excellent, Piano and Harp have started Ride of the Valkyries!And Stone Wall has joined in humming along! This just keeps getting better.”


At three-thirty Eric let Shreveport’s finest into the club. The work lights were on and behind the bar, rolled into a tight ball, was a female.

“All the sensors and alarms went off,” Eric said as the officers tried to remove her. “I have not found where she breeched our doors. She must have been hiding somewhere when we did our closing.”

“I am a Were,” she screamed. “I am going to fuck his vampire brains out and then eat his belly and man meat!

I am,” she sobbed, “five foot nothing!” and the tears started in earnest.

“Well of course you are five feet tall,” one officer responded as he finally got the cuffs on her wrists.

“No,” her crying became hysterical. “I am really six-five and mean as a snake! But tonight, they played basketball with my body! Way up there in the air! If they would have dropped me I would have gone splat! And they used me for a bowling ball! There were gargoyles and mermaids and mummies and all manor of things out here on the dance floor being the pins and…and…a nasty little bell that would ding-a-ling every time I made a strike! Sir Irwin, I swear, he drained my Were; he was throwing me down the straightway, seeing how many of his friends he could knock down. They all cheered him on and called advice!”

“And how many did you knock down?” the female officer asked, helping her up.

“I don’t know, it was kinda hard to tell. Magic Carpet would get me all tangled up and I would not take down as many of those cocksuckers as I would have. I know it.”

“We have this Mr. Northman,” Officer Kent was shaking his head.

“Yeah, you look out for that bloodsucker!” she yelled. “Northman has Vikings on his front door that will chew your hand off!”

“Vikings?” Kent asked.

“Doorknocker,” Eric replied. “Vikings in a longboat doorknocker.”

“Been that kind of night,” Willkins was shaking her head. “I hate full moons.”

“Hear hear,” Kent nodded in agreement.

“Thank you, officers,” Eric said opening the door for them.

“We appreciate good citizens,” Kent responded as they headed out to their patrol car. Eric waved to them as Shreveport’s finest drove off.

“She tasted really nasty,” Orlo, the captain of the dragon boat said to Eric. “Were…ick! We still have a bad taste in our mouths, don’t we boys!”

“Aye!” Was shouted back. “But we would do it all again! We are Vikings! We rule the seas and the front door to Fangtasia!”

“Indeed,” Eric smiled at him and saluted. “Just wait until tomorrow night. We have even older and nastier coming this way. Vampires off the continent. Perhaps a Were or two in attendance with them as well.”

“Here all week!” the boat crew called out with cheers and whistles!

With a bow of his head to the fearless sailors, Eric closed the door and locked it.

“Good job, tonight,” Eric called out to the magics inside the building. “More of the same tomorrow night. We shall be celebrating All Hallow’s Eve in style!

Now, I believe we can head for home. Packmaster,” Eric bowed his head to him, “we leave the New Orleans pack in your hands.”

“Pleasure,” the Were smiled and took out his cell phone and punched in a number.

“Boogie Boy,” he said, “I have bad news for you. I just got a call from Northman. Apparently Big T hid herself away tonight in Fangtasia. She set off alarms and the police have escorted her out.”

“How is that bad news?” the voice on the other end said. “I hope she robbed him blind. We will b around to bail her out.”

“Well, apparently,” Alcide became very serious, “it looks like maybe she shifted. Or something.  And when she tried to shift back, she is now all of five foot even.”

“What?” You could hear the disbelief tinged with terror.

“Thought that might get your attention. You know Northman has his club spelled, right?”

“What? I thought vamps did not traffic in magic!”

“Well, apparently this one does and ah-h-h-h, maybe she tangled with it. Northman said she had a case of the bat shit crazies when they rolled her out of here. And she tried to shift without any luck while yelling at the cops. She had been talking out of her head when he found her, he told the police. About bowling, basketball and she was a Were, so beware.  Of course, Northman was laughing when he told me that.

Just thought you might like to know what happened to this packmaster.” With a grin, he hung up and was given a standing ovation.

Boogie Boy just sat there, staring at his phone.  “A dead packmaster; a crazy, shrunken packmaster, and the Devil’s Pit, that Big T warned us off, of. I am beginning to believe that Eric has his entire area spelled. Shit! Guess I better call her momma and tell her to be expecting a phone call. And to garage sale her clothes. I wonder if her feet are the same size as mine? I could use a new pair of boots.”







Talk to Me—Chapter 12

talk to me coveere page

Talk to Me

Chapter 12

The characters of the Southern Vampire Mysteries belong to Miss Charline Harris. No infringement on my part is intendedThe characters on True Blood belong to Mr. Alan Ball. No infringement on my part is intended.

I have no BETA, editor, or other such charming person. All mistakes are my own. This Story is rated M.


When Eric returned, breakfast was a chatty affair. Gran told about her evening travels and O.I. was much applauded for being such an excellent tour guide.

“When we get this settled,” Eric was sipping the honey liquor that Gran kept on hand, “we shall all go to Paris. And where ever else we like.”

“Well, it did not take S-A long to send those Weres. You think she will be on the move tonight?”

“Who is to say?” Eric shrugged. “The Were we cut loose should scare her into keeping her ass at home. Now, she may send Hadley and Jason this way. Just to do a preliminary look see.  After all, Old Snick would not attack them, they are family. So perhaps, be prepared to see your grandchildren either late tonight, she will fly them in, or perhaps tomorrow, if she has them drive.

I am sure they will both be wearing a wire and probably some type of little camera. We shall spend the day setting up a few jamming devices. I need to make a few more phone calls and get those on their way to us. And around lunch time, I am making a few calls to the continent. Might as well bring the boys on over for a visit and call Samuel. Time to get all the paper work switched over so that Sookie inherits.”

“Eric,” she said placing a hand on his arm.

“You are my wife. This is how things are done,” was all he said. “If something happens to me, you will be provided for. And if that shifter Merlotte comes calling here, wondering when you are coming back to work, I am kicking his ass to the moon.”

“Shifter?” she echoed. “A Were?”

“No, just a shifter. He can shift to any animal. And there are rumors that they can skin walk. Impersonate other people.”

“What?” Sookie’s eyes grew round.

“Yes,” Eric nodded.

“So maybe I should call him and tell him I quit,” she said.

Eric refilled his glass. Setting the bottle down, he gave Sookie a very small, tight smile.  “That would keep his ass from being on the moon. Because I would be more than happy to kick it there.”

“I’ll go do that right now,” she replied, all business, getting up from the table. “Do I tell him I am married?”

“You are my wife,” Eric’s voice was very serious. “We hide that from no one.”

For a moment she just stood and smiled at him. “You  know, you make me very happy.”

Raising her hand to his lips, and keeping his eyes on hers, he kissed it again. “That is all I want,” he placed another small kiss there. “To make you happy.”

“I’ll be right back,” she leaned down for a deep kiss. When she stood up, Eric excused the two of them and followed her into the house.

Gran watched them walk off, his arm around her. Opening the door for her, they disappeared, inside.

“He is custom made for her,” she said, wiping at the tears. “All I have ever wanted for her was to know happiness. I mean down in her soul. Even if it was only for one minute.”

“I would say, Miss Adele, she is gonna have a lifetime.”

“Yes,” she smiled at O.I./Tor. “Yes,” she nodded. “For the rest of her days, blessed beyond belief.”

“And how about you?” O.I. asked. “You feelin’ up to bein’ blessed?”

“You charmer,” she stroked his face. “What kissing you along the Seine under that moon did not do it for you?”

“Oh, it did it for me Miss Adele. And then some,” he smiled and winked at her.

“You are just bad,” she grinned, “but very good. You feel like taking a walk and showing me where those Weres dug around on our land?”

“Yes ma’am,” he bowed his head and standing, helped her from her chair. “Indeed I do.”

Gran and O.I. stood looking at the hole. “That thing is huge,” she said walking around it. “What were they going to do, make a home down there?”

“Yes,” O.I. nodded. “S-A would come with staff, etc. So if she had vampires in attendance, they would need shelter during the day.”

Gran took out her phone. “Well then, let us go on record. I am calling the Sheriff. Show him so he knows one no- good was up to something. And I just might point the finger at Compton.”

When Andy drove up, Adele introduced him to Tor Torlesson.  “He’s a distant cousin from Ohio,” she said in way of an explanation. “Not by blood, only by marriage,” she added.

Andy hid his grin. So maybe Miss Adele was shopping around for a husband and had decided to import one in and that was trusted and true! Good for her!

“This way,” Grad said once they got past the how do’s.

Walking through the woods, Gran told about how William T. Compton had come calling at midnight and how she had taken silver spray to him.

And… “He was wanting to rent a room from me,” she sputtered. “I don’t own a boarding house, especially one for vampires.”

“That is quite some dirt mound,” Andy replied, “Miss Adele, I can see it from here.”

“Wait until you see the hole,” she harrumphed. “I never would have known anything about it if Tor had not been  scouting out a deer stand.”

“Vampire, huh,” Andy snorted as he was taking photos. “Must be the one who dug it, also. I don’t see any foot prints.

It is quiet out here. A vamp could do a lot worse. Set up shop here in the middle of nowhere and make yourself at home. If you accidently drained the body, you could bury it without any fuss.”

“Kinda what we thought,” Adele was scowling. “Look at this mess! Sheriff, this hole is going to need to be filled up. You got anyone looking to make a little extra money?”

“My cousin Ramey does ditch work. Owns a small back  hoe. How much you willing to pay?’

“I’ll give him fifty if he does not tear up my ground,” Gran replied.

“I know he is working a job today and tomorrow. Saw him this morning buying coffee. I’ll talk to him and send him out,” he replied.

“Thanks,” she nodded. “You need anything else? If not, the wind has a bit of a chill and we are going to head on back.”

“You go right ahead,” Andy replied. “I am going to take a couple more photos and head on back, myself.”


“Let’s call Gran,” Hadley kept giggling. “I mean I am going to be royalty! Let’s call Gran,” she laughed and clapped her hands.

“Jason, you roll a really nice joint,” she smiled as she watched her cousin work with the weed and paper.

“Thank you,” he smiled. “I do know a little somethin’ about the workin’s of rollin’ your own.”

“Well, I guess you do,” she nodded as he passed it to her. “Damn, this is good stuff,” she nestled back into the chair and took another hit. “You think Gran will be happy to hear from me?” she asked as she exhaled and relaxed even more.

“I think so,” he replied as he finished rolling his and lit it. “I mean, we are her grandchildren. Our successes are her successes. When we do well, it reflects upon her.

Besides, you have not been gone for that long?”

“Really?” Hadley perked up. “You think so? I…I have been gone for six years, Jason,” she sighed.

“Well, is that all?” he took a deep hit, held it, then blew it out. “Why, you are just the Prodigal Granddaughter comin’ home. Gran will kill the fatted calf and there will be a feast in your honor!”

“Really?” she smiled. “I would like that. Maybe have an open bar and dancin’ at Merlotte’s. Let Bon Temps know how well I am doin’. That would be real nice.”

“I have decreed it so,” Jason winked at her.  “As the oldest Stackhouse male, my wish is my command. Everyone will be happy to see you! I know I was!”

“Can we call Gran? I mean, really, let’s call her! You talk to her and tell her how fine I am and how well I am doin’.”

“I like it,” Jason grinned taking out his phone. “Let’s make this happen!”


When Gran picked up, she was greeted with, “Hey Gran. This is Jason! Guess where I am?”

“At work,” she responded. “Out of town on a road crew somewhere.”

“Naw…not today. I am in New Orleans making some big money. And guess who I ran into!”

“Well, from the excitement in your voice, Hank Williams, Jr.? I know he is your favorite country singer.”

“No-o-o-o, Gran,” he laughed. “Besides that was a million years ago when I would sing along with Hank. My new favorite is Keith…”

“Jason,” Hadley whispered in the back ground. “Tell her about me. You know, how well I am doin’ and how lovely my home is and I only shop at the finest places. Tell her!”

Gran rolled her eyes. Let the drug induced bullshitting begin…!

“No, Gran,” Jason was giggling, “not even close. But it was someone we all know and love! And miss! We have missed her so much! Do you know now?”

“Patsy Cline?” Gran asked as O.I. snickered.

“Who? No-o-o-o,” he laughed, “I am here with Hadley. And she has a sweet deal goin’ on. She is workin’ hard and savin’ her money….”

“Tell her about how pretty I am and lady like!”

“And she is gorgeous! I mean, really cute, Gran. Just as cute as a button and doin’ well. Did I say that?”

“Yes, Jason, I believe you did.”

“So, Gran, I know how much you love us and as the oldest Stackhouse male, I have invited Hadley to come home with me and visit for a while. You know, until she has to get back to her job…that she is very good at and she is you know…just really good at it.”

“So, you are taking her to your house, is that correct?” Gran replied.

“Well no, I said I was the oldest Stackhouse male and I think she needs to come to the Stackhouse homestead.”

“That would be your home, correct?” Gran countered.

“No Gran,” he took another hit and twirled his index finger around his ear and mouthing to Hadley in a quiet whisper, “She’s crazy!” and he giggled.

Gran rolled her eyes. “Jason, I can hear you,” her voice held frustration.

“Oh. Well, yeah. Okay,” he giggled and took another hit. “No, we would like to see you and maybe have a meal with you. You know, you can cook and we’ll eat and we’ll just chat while you are cookin’. I really like your cream gravy and biscuits.”

“And when would this be?”

“Oh, you know, sometime in the next couple of days. Not for real sure when, but we are lookin’ forward to one of your home cooked meals, cause you know, she is the Prodigal Granddaughter comin’ home for a visit.”

“Hey, tell her about the open bar and the dancin”,” Hadley whispered back.

Gran stood staring at the phone.

“And, because she is the prodigal, maybe we could invite the town and have an open bar and some dancin’, you know, at Merlotte’s” Jason added. “Just to show the town how well she is doin’.”

“Good,” Hadley laughed, “You got in the dancin’! I love to dance! And I love an open bar!”

“So we’ll be there,” Jason’s voice was filled with joy! “And lookin’ forward to the party! Thanks Gran, we love you. I gotta go now, Hadley needs me to roll her another   joint. And do you know why she does drugs? She started usin’ so she could understand Sookie.”

“Damn straight,” Hadley said. “That poor  miserable soul. I am just tryin’ to understand her horrible miserable life. She was just so sad and pitiful and my life was so full. I was just tryin’ to get down to her level.”

“Okay Gran, we’ll see you,” Jason said, hanging up.

Gran sat in the chair with her mouth open. “Both of them,” she sat there, shaking her head, disbelief in her voice, “higher than a kite.”

“What do you want to do, blessed lady,” O.I. came over and sat down beside her and took her hand.

“Take a nap,” she replied, stroking his hand. “Could you use a nap?” she asked.

“I could use a nap,” Tor smiled at her.

“Good,” she said standing. “Everyone feels better after a nap.”


The day passed in a delightful blur. Eric and Sookie roamed the woods, keeping to the shadows so that Sookie would not worry about Eric.

Eric was playing peek-a-boo with her as he hid behind trees and jumped out to scare her and sometimes seduce her.

Any time Eric might start to feel a bit feverish…Sookie would offer him a sip of blood and unfasten his pants while he helped her to undress!

For someone who had not seduced a woman in the late autumn afternoon shadows in a millennia, Eric had no problems remembering to use flowers, feathers and other small charms he found to stroke her skin with as he placed kisses all over her body.

When they returned to the house, Gran and O.I./Tor were in the kitchen, preparing vegetables for the pot of stew that was going to be their supper. Gran put the cornbread in and O.I. cleaned the chopping board and got out the cheese.

“Looks like a feast,” Sookie remarked. “And cornbread! Yum!”

“Indeed,” Gran smiled. “Thought maybe Eric could do stew. Just meat and vegetables. His body should remember stew.”

“Oh, okay,” Sookie nodded. “That sounds like a plan. After all, he does not have a problem with the honey liqueur.”

“That is what I was thinking,” Gran smiled at her. And then frowned. “Guess who we heard from today?”

“Your other two grandchildren,” she replied as she snitched a piece of potato that was ready to go in the pot. Sprinkling it with salt, she popped it in her mouth.

“You mean my two x-grandchildren.  Jason called. He is in New Orleans and he ran into Hadley while he was there. He wanted to know if they could be here tonight for supper.  A late supper, mind you. Maybe midnight. And if not then, maybe an early breakfast. Or lunch. Or any meal within the next two days. But I would know when they showed up! Like I was going to sit up and wait! Oh, and also since the Prodigal Granddaughter was returning, maybe we could have a party at Merlotte’s. With dancing and an open bar. To show Bon Temps just how well she is doing. And by the way, she became a drug addict so that she could relate to your poor, miserable life.”

“What?” Sookie countered.

“Exactly,” Gran snarked.

“There was not even a kiss my ass or by your leave from that boy!” Gran grumped. “Both of them higher than a kite. I could hear Hadley there giggling and telling Jason what to say.”

“So what do you want to do?” Sookie asked.

“Fill them with rock salt,” Gran replied.  “I cleaned and oiled Old Betsy, today,” she said with delight in her voice.

“All right,” Gran sighed. “I got that out of my system. O.I. says we can set Old Snick on them. Show them the fires of hell and the pit of demons!”

“Well,  I am liking this!” Sookie air pumped.

“I see that hole the Weres dug is inspiring us one and all,” Eric grinned.

“Indeed,” O.I. wiggled his eyebrows.

“I like it,” Sookie smiled. “So until they show up?”

“Let’s play a game of some sort,” Gran said. “After a round or two, we’ll make a pie and it they are not here by bedtime, then we are turning out the lights and going to bed.”

Eric looked over at O.I. who only wiggled his eyebrows, again.

“Should I call Pam?” he asked.

“Could,” O.I. grinned. “She could be the wind rider while I belch out hell fire.”

“Oh, I like this,” Eric smiled taking out his phone. “Pamela will declare you a hero,” Eric continued on with his text message. “So this is what, both of you; you blowing out flames while she screams in torment?”

“Something a whole lot like that,” O.I. replied sharpening the knife on a claw. “Those two will think twice about dis-respectin’ their Gran and before a comin’ this way, again. Mo’ fo’n, just wait up for us and fix us whatever we want.If I would have talked to my granny like that, I would not be here, today! I would be toastin’ coals in hell!”


When Sophie-Ann rose she was met by her day walker, Lauren. “The Were, Wills, is in a bad way. He has not stopped crying and shaking and shitting himself since he returned.”

“Did you shoot him up with a calm the fuck down drug?” she asked.

“Yes, I used the cocktail that we have reserved for the humans when you remove their flesh and feed it to the sharks. He just sits and moans and shakes.”

“Where is he?” she asked.

“The basement. That is the only place we have that has been sound proofed so far.  And the new packmaster, Big T is here. She called, wanting to know why the ones we hired had not returned. I called her back and explained they would not be returning. I saw no reason to delay this. Get all the questions answered at once.”

“Big T,” Sophie-Anne nodded. “That is Packmaster’s Stennis’ sister?”

“Yes. And she is just as big and nasty as her brother.”

“Excellent, the basement it is,” she sighed.

Listening to Willis the Were crying and shaking about what he had encountered at the old farmhouse gave her pause. As it did everyone else in the room.

“Old Snick,” he kept bawling, “he ate the other nine! In front of me. Dangled them by their hair and started with their feet and he ate them while they screamed in torment! Chewed through their leathers and…and their boots and I begged and pleaded and he laughed at me! Told me I was too old to have any testosterone left in me. Told me to take myself on home and to spread the word that he was hungry and he liked rough and ready meat! My gawd, he ate the packmaster! And my boy, Reynolds! And Glenda,” he sobbed. “He ate my Glenda,” the grief racked his body. “She had just tatted my name on her tits. And now she is gone…” he howled in misery.

Big T was nobody’s fool. As the new packmaster, she   had been notified that out of the ten that had contracted to work for S-A, only nine had returned. You had to be some kinda strong and mean to destroy nine Weres!

“There now, Willis,” Big T said as she walked up to him and put her arms around him, her voice soft and caring.

“You are the new packmaster now,” he sobbed. “Jimmy Joe is gone. He was a good brother…a good packmaster. Now…now, he is livin’ in the gullet of some horrible, hell dwellin’ beast,” he whimpered.

“Come on in here,” she sighed, “just rest your head right here against my bosom.”

“I can’t stop shakin’,” he wept as he snuggled his head between her breasts. “Have not been able to. I keep shittin’ myself I am so scared!”

“I know,” she was stroking his back. “I know. Now you listen to Big T. Everythin’ is gonna be just fine,” she said lifting his head and stroking his face. With a hand on each cheek, with a swift jerk, she broke his neck.

Staring at Sophie-Anne, the six-foot five woman in the biker boots and leathers was watching the vampire queen. “That’s ten of mine, down. That’s a million apiece. I want it now.”

“Of course,” she nodded. “Do you want to take retribution on the one that did this?” she asked.

Big T laughed out loud and slapped her thigh. “Good one,” she growled. “This thing ate nine of our Weres like a smoked pork rib covered in Sweet Baby Ray’s. Just ate until there was nothing left. I am contacting every pack in the US and giving them the grid coordinates and telling them if they value their pelts, they will stay away from this cursed land that devours those who do not belong there.

Now, our money. And no paper shit. I want it in gold.”

“Yes, of course,” S-A rose and started up the steps. “Were shit,” she breathed out. “Why me?” she moaned to herself. “Why me?”

Upstairs, the gold bricks were being loaded off a cart and into wooden boxes.

“Wait one,” Big T said stepping forward. “That piece of shiny bright is not the correct shade of shiny bright.”

“What?” Sophie-Anne replied, a sharpness in the word.

“You listen to me vamp,” Big T snarled. “I know fool’s gold when I see it. That bar there, it is not genuine. I can smell the lead from here.”

“Goget,” she nodded to the vamp in charge of her treasury. “Break that bar in half.”

Snapping it in two, it was most assuredly a lead bar, coated in gold.

“Whose area gave that as tribute?” she hissed.

“Gift out of Vegas,” he replied. “From De Castro when he was in power.”

“Fuck…me…!” she yelled. “Get a new bar, out of Area Fives’ tribute.

I apologize Packmaster,” she said with a bow of her head. “This will be set to rights in a few minutes.”

“Area Five,” Big T smiled. “Northman still got his hold on that land?”

“Yes,” she replied through closed teeth.

“Well say, isn’t that where you sent my pack, into his area unannounced?”

“Yes,” she replied, again. “And before you say another word, Packmaster, I would advise you to keep any and all thoughts of blackmailing me for more money to yourself.”

“Oh now,” she smiled at Sophie-Anne, “I was not going to do that. I was just going to ask you if you think he would fuck a Were. He is one good looking, tall, undead piece of meat.”

The Queen of Louisiana started to laugh. “Big T,  I am of the impression Eric would fuck anything. Seriously, probably even a dinosaur if they still walked the earth.”

“Do you think he would see me if I went callin’ on him? I have been told I clean up real nice.”

S-A broke into hysterical laughter. “I have no way of knowing, of course, nor can I think of a reason why he would not. Ah look, here is your solid gold bar. I am so sorry for your loss…and congratulations on your new job. Now, Fleet will see you out. I have a phone call that is waiting on me.”

The Were left and S-A was standing there, trying to gain some type of control over herself. “Goget, how many bars of gold did we purchase from Vegas?”

“My Queen, bars, hard to say but it was about one ton. We paid sixty-three million.”

“Do…do we have any more of those gold bars left?” she asked.

“No, the extras, those went in a shipment to Catherine. You wanted pounds sterling to purchase that island off the British Coast.”

“Goget, give me your best yes or no. Do you think Catherine unloaded them on her child,  De Castro, for cash?”

“Catherine loves gold, your majesty. Of course, if she was releasing bogus gold, sure why not, sell it to your child. I mean, what are they going to do if they find out?”

“Good point. And who did we send the rest of that bogus gold, too?”

“We paid your taxes to the National Committee. We shipped that out to the East Coast two days, ago.”

“So it has arrived safely there…?”

“Count on that my queen. I have the received the stamped paid-in-gold manifest.”

“Well Were shit…we are moving out to the Stackhouse place. Find out where Jason is. And round up Hadley. If anyone in Boston checks that gold shipment, we are in deep Were shit. They will be sending everyone after us!

Tell Crankshaft he is to be here to open the door.  I am going to grab a few things, but I can shop on line anywhere. Get the breathers and let us go.”

“Not a problem, my queen,” Lauren replied.  “They are both still in the party room. They have been smoking and eating all day. Jason called their gran. Told them they would be by sometime to visit with her.”

“Excellent,” she nodded. “So them showing up at the door will not be a total surprise. Lauren, I am going to need you there with me to monitor the humans by day.”

“Not a problem my Queen,” she said with a bow. “You know I am happy to be of service to you.”

“Grab some cash, a weapon, and let us leave by car. A helicopter leaving out of here would draw attention to itself. We’ll drive to Baton Rouge and take another look at our options.”


Pamela got the phone call from Crankshaft. “I owe you, my friend,” she said to him. “Once they are gone, you get to the Blood on the Quarter.Ask for Samuel. If anyone gives you any Were shit, you call me and hand them the phone.”

Hanging up, Pam called Eric. “I am inbound. Prepare for Were shit.”

Hanging up, Eric looked out at the group. “The Child is on her way. She has news of the to war, type. I can tell by the glee in her voice.”


With Pamela’s arrival they all settled in to listen to the story. When she had finished, Sookie sat back. “So they are actively on their way here.”

“Yes,” Pam nodded. “They will drive to Baton Rouge and probably take a helicopter to Shreveport. Or they could over-night in BR and then just drive on in the next evening.”

“They will be here before sunrise,” Eric said, tapping his fingers, together. “She is running scared. She has sent lead to pay her taxes and those in Boston, when they find out, will not be amused by that.”

“Boston? National HQ is located there?” Sookie asked.

“Yes,” Eric nodded. “This changes things a bit. Sadly, perhaps Pamela will not get to go dragon riding at this time.”

“What do we need to do?” Gran asked.

“Not one thing,” Eric responded. “We will take care of the vampires. What do you want done with Hadley and Jason?”

For a moment Adele looked lost. “Send Jason back to his job and his house. Hadley…she is going to be trouble no matter where she ends up.”

“Well, she apparently has a life in NO,” Sookie responded. “How about if we just send her back there?”

“Can do,” Eric said with a nod of his head.

“Will the queen still want her when we won’t grant them sanctuary?” Gran asked.

“Miss Adele, if S-A shows up here, there will be nothing left of her and hers to return to NO.

O.I., Pamela and I, we will let Hadley and Jason pass. But not the others. If S-A has an ounce of brains in her head, she will see the death and destruction and run. Perhaps we will scare her so badly that Boston will not look nearly as terrifying.

Or, she could meet the true death. Just depends on how all of this rolls out.”

“What happens if she does meet the true death?” Sookie asked.

“I am crowning Pamela queen,” Eric replied.

“What?” Miss Pam looked up from her phone.

“You shall rule out of Fangtasia  and we shall go about our lives.”

“But, but, but…” she stammered.

“Child, there is nothing to it. Literally. You are not one to embrace drama, so there shall be no drama. We do not need tax money, or fealty money or insurance money. So no accountants, no lawyers, no hanger-on-ers. No no and no.

There is no longer a HQ in NO. So that part would be easy. Nor do we care about what is no longer standing in NO. Very easy.

The Louisiana vamps will check in from time to time with you at the club. You will either bless them and send them on their way or curse them and bring them the true death.

Any other royalty shows up, you can bless them or send them on their way or curse them and bring them the true death.

If Boston throws a fit and wants taxes, we shall turn them over to the IRS. We just might do that anyway.”

“So it will be my undead life as usual at the club, but perhaps with a little more killin’,” she mused on that thought. “And we won’t be collectin’ money so we just might have an influx of vamps,” she nodded.

“Indeed,” Eric nodded in agreement.

“They going to call me Queen?” she asked.

“If that is what you want,” Eric replied.

“We leave the Sheriffs in place?”

“That would be the smart thing to do,” Eric grinned at her.

“You still gonna’ be the Sheriff of Area Five?”

“I am yours, your majesty,” he smiled.

“Well just damn,” she mused.

“Until the baby comes along. Then I will be required at home.”

“What?” she was like a rubber band, snapped back to this reality.

“The Northmans shall be expecting, one day. When that happens, my time will be limited.”

“This have somethin’ to do with Momma Sookie’s magic knife?”

“Everything to do with it,” Eric responded.

“Well just damn,” she said again. “So what are we doin’ until NO shows up?”

“Let’s play Spoons,” Sookie looked around at the group. “We have five, enough to make it interestin’. We can still play until we get tired or the baddies show up. I can smell Gran’s apple pie bakin’. We can have some of that in a bit.”

“Spoons?” Pam looked thoughtful.

“Card game,” Gran replied. “Let me get the cards and the spoons and we will get started.”

“Can you bet on this?” Pam asked.

“If you could not before, you can now,” Eric chuckled.

“Show me what we are doin’. I will figure out the spread, call my bookie in Vegas and we can make some serious money.”

“Is she serious?” Gran asked.

“When it comes to money,” Eric was nodding his head, “always.”

Pam was explained the rules. “Let’s play a quick hand,” she said, “and I will think on this.”

The little missy was entranced. “So it is all about speed…and always losing a player. H-m-m-m, we could hit this as a race as well. Give me a minute.”

“It is actually very scary to watch her mind at work,” Eric smiled as Pam sat there with her phone in her hands as she continued to fire off text messages.

“Good thing I have Vegas wired,” she said at one point, not looking up. “Most good. And look,” she grinned, “we are taking odds already! Looks like Blue Sword and Older Excellence are the go-to at the moment. Beautiful Fall and Long Legs and sadly Cutie Pie is coming in last. But still, we could make a couple of mil off this. Let’s play.”

“Is she serious?” Sookie asked.

“Yes,” Pam smiled.  “Only thing that could make this any better would be if there was some killin’ goin’ on tonight.”

The cards were shuffled and passed out. Gran began the round.

”Oh, and talk among yourselves. Fangtasiais going to be open All Hallow’s Eve. I even have some free tickets if my family would like to attend.”

Eric looked over at Pam, doubt on his face. He finally choked out, “Free, Child, seriously. Are you feeling well?”

“Yes I am fine. No headache, no dizziness, no pre-menstrual cramps. Seriously, really, free,” she stressed as she threw down a card. “It is Roaring Twenties night. Come dressed in sequins and beads. Why, there will be all manner of folk there. Someone with a Russian credit card keeps purchasing tickets. About one hundred so far.”

Eric put his cards down and looked over at her.

Pam was looking very pleased with herself. “Tracked them from server to server but the purchases all originate out of Russia.

Also, chatted up British Isle, Eire and of course, Brother Samuel. I am also gifting them with free tickets. They cannot wait to meet the family,” she smiled as she batted her eyelashes, “and of course, do a little killing.”

“I had invited the threesome to come and meet the family,” Eric responded.

“Well, that was before I found out about Russia. And you know how those three are,” Pam pouted. “They would blame it all on me if they did not get to be here for the All Hallow’s Eve to do.

“Granted,” Eric replied, holding up a spoon. When Pam looked down, they were all gone.

“Well,” Pam looked around and saw smiles, everywhere. “Looks like Cutie Pie is out of the game,” she said arching an eyebrow. “Let me call this in. The odds on me being first out were not the best. Hm-m-m-m, looks like only fifty thousand on that round. Let’s see if we can do a little better.”

The little better turned up about an hour and a half later.

There was a knock at the door and when Eric went to answer it, there stood his comrades-in-arms! Gran was called over and they were invited in.

After hearty congratulations and well wishes, along with hugs and kisses that were passed around, the game continued.

The night was loud and boisterous. Fun was had and some were clearly better at sneaking then others.

Miss Sookie and Gran were lavishly complimented and more than one looked longingly at Sookie’s blade.

“Viking,” they would mutter from time-to-time.

Ian finally could not contain himself. “Clearly Miss Sookie,” he began as he dealt the hand. “Eric has picked the perfect bride. I recognize that belt and knife handle. His gift to you appears to have been made especially for you.”

“Yes,” she replied. “Would you like to see it?”

Pam started laughing as she threw down a card.

Ian pulled back into his chair. “The Child is honestly amused. No snark there what-so-ever.  So what does she find to be so genuinely funny that would cause her to laugh out loud?”

“Long story, short,” Eric grinned. “My grandmother’s magic has manifested. Sookie’s family magic has manifested as well. With the blood exchanges, we have made a whole new type of magic.”

“She comes with magic?” Cedric looked intrigued.

“Indeed,” Eric nodded.

“And now there is something new?” Ian drew back.

“Yes,” the piano said and began to play.

“We have more now, Gran,” one of the spoons chimed up. “Get some more of us and another deck of cards and let’s play!”

“Like at Fangtasia,” Samuel laughed.

“Yes,” Eric smiled at him. “My wife, show Brother Samuel your sword.”

When Sookie drew it, blue fire danced around it.

“I have not seen that since the war,” Samuel whispered.

“What war?” Ian asked.

“The weapon, I is covered in fae fire,” Samuel whispered and then looked at Eric and then Sookie.

“The Unholy Wars,” Ian nodded. “Just a bit before our time but Eric has certainly told us the stories.”

Eric was regarding the three. “Do you remember the prince I told you about, Brigant?”

“Yes,” the boys nodded.

“Sookie is his great-granddaughter. He died at her hand, she inherited his magic.”

Cedric let out a low whistle. “Beautiful and deadly.”

“He was gonna kill Gran,” Sookie replied matter-of-fact. “So I shot him first.”

“And she is also strategically sound,” Ian nodded.  “Eric, you have surpassed yourself. None of us are of course, surprised.”

Cedric looked over at Tor. “Oh honored one,” he said with a bow of his head. “Me granny told me that one day I would meet you. And I have lived to see her promise come true.”

“How so?” Ian asked.

“Do you not see how his aura shifts and scatters on the candle flame. How his shadow changes from that of human to that of the fiercest creature to ever walk or fly.”

Samuel chuckled. “You just have to love it when the Irish has his magic up and running.”

O.I. looked over at Cedric and grinned. “You come from a long line of wind riders, my Irish lad. I thought they were all gone from this place and time.”

“Tis a pleasure, sir,” the Irish lad said, bowing at the waist.

“Indeed it is,” O.I. returned the bow.

“Dragon,” Cedric said looking at Ian and pointing with his head.

“Oh…oh-h-h-h-h,” his eyes grew round. “Makes perfectly good sense. Eric needs help and the Cavalry comes calling.

His brother, his two friends, his child, his lady with her fae magic and a dragon…good to know Eric your luck has not changed.” Ian stood there shaking his head and rolling his eyes.  “Now, looks like you are playing a card game. So explain to us the rules and let Pamela call her bookie while we get the rest of the story.”



After the humans went to bed, the vampires gathered out on the roof of the house watching the road and the night shadows.

“S-A won’t be able to help herself,” Pam was snickering. “She will be here.”

“Yes, she believes she really is the end-all. And tonight I am thinking will be her end-all,” Eric replied as he hefted his sword. “I like O.I.’s dragon flame and Pamela, you screaming and scaring the un-death out of them. But I am beginning to feel I want to be face-to-face with her. Her sending those two Were shit grandchildren here has just pushed me over the edge.”

Ian laughed. “I remember the last time you got pushed over the edge. I believe that outburst of rage was sponsored by Tully.” Samuel and Cedric both laughed. “That tower in Pisa still leans to this day.

It really is all about the tactical advantage,” Ian said as they watched the car turn off the highway and onto Hummingbird Lane.

“Does that look like a limo that is pulling off beside the road about a quarter of a mile from here?” Cedric asked.

“I do believe so,” Pam replied. “If you listen closely, you will hear a car door opening and you can sniff two humans on the wind…a cannabis saturated male and female…along with some Johnny Walker and they are  still giggling away. And there are five vampires remaining inside the auto. Oh my, just whatever could they want? And at this hour?”

“Gran says only trouble shows up at this time of night,” Eric said in his most sincere voice.

“Well then,” the Irish lad smiled, “we would not want to disappoint Gran, so trouble it is.”

“My exact thoughts,” Eric grinned and together they floated down to the ground.

“Now let us wake Gran and Sookie and explain to O.I. about how this is going to happen. I am of the opinion, if I let my bride sleep through this, I would never get laid, again. Besides, Sookie can change the locks. That should provide some value-added entertainment. As high as those two are, I would be surprised that they can find the front porch.”

“Change the locks?” Samuel read the look of pride on his brother’s face. “She can do this in a short amount of time?”

“Oh,” Eric grinned, “just wait until you see what she can do.”

“Yes,” Pam was dead-pan. “Just don’t shit yourself when she does.”

Sookie, Gran and O.I. were up and dressed and getting a quick briefing.

“High on weed and drunk on whiskey,” Gran was disgusted.  “Here to be invited in so the vampires have an advantage. I am done with those two and I am calling the law. Let me get my phone.”

Sookie was not very happy about the situation, herself. The house had gone quiet. Listening for her slightest wish. “Listen up, doors. The keys that these two, Hadley and Jason  are going to use does not work. Windows, pull the drapes, close the shutters and everyone else, go on alert. We have evil waiting for us out and about in the yard. I have no idea what they will try and do, but they are not gonna’ push their evil ways off on us.”

“Hear hear!” those things in the house shouted and blue glitter danced on the air in the shape of Sookie and Eric as the house went about the task of preparing for a siege and chatting among themselves!

“Good work,” Eric grinned. “Now, let the fun, begin.”


Jason and Hadley had their arms around each other and staggered their way to the front door.

“Damn, that was some good Johnnie Walker  Miss Sophie-Anne had and was mighty generous with it. I have not felt this good since I scored that winning touch down my Senior year. Damn, I got all kinds of laid that night. Girls I thought I would only do once, I did twice.”

“It was a good night for the family,” she hiccupped. “I mean, I got three different proposals of marriage that night. Everyone was ridin’ your high. If you were related to Jason Stackhouse, you could do no wrong.”

“That’s a fact,” he giggled. “Aw-w-w, Hadley, we are standin’ at the foot of the porch steps. How are we supposed to get up those steps? I can’t seem to keep my feet where they are supposed to be. You know,” he said turning to look at her, “Supposed is a good word. I don’t use it very often. But when I do, I feel like I am the smartest person in the room.”

“I know,” she replied as she started counting the steps, pointing to each one with her finger. “I feel the same way about their, thereand they’re.  I know they’re  has an apostrophe in it so it is two words, which means they are.So I know I am gonna get one of the three, right. I am never for sure about the other two.”

“Way to go cuz,” they tried to high-five and missed. “You are so smart. I will have to remember that. Now, how are we gonna get up these steps?”

“Well, I keep countin’ them and gettin’ a different number,” Hadley had her finger working, doing some serious air pointing as she was twirling it about. “That time I counted seven. But I think that originally there were four…maybe five? You lived here. Does four sound right?”

“Maybe,” he replied nodding his head and then sat down on the ground. “Starting to feel a might bit pukish. Give me a minute.”

“So, how we gettin’ up the steps?” she asked, sitting down next to him.

“How about if we butt walk?  You know, just sit on a step and push our butt up to the next step.”

“That could work,” she looked relieved. “Cause I think the rain is gonna move back in.”

“Cuz,” Jason looked up, “all I see is stars.”

“That’s cause you are not female. We females, we know things like that. We are born with it. That way we know to carry an umbrella or some such so that we are always lookin’  good. Perfect hair, perfect makeup. Just perfect.”

“Oh-h-h-h-h!” Jason was granted a great revelation. “Well yes, the women I date, they always look good. To include great tits and ass.  Some of those I saw in a wet t-shirt, but it was beer and not rain they got caught in.  Hey…I just felt a couple of brain cells kick in. Damn, I am feeling very phil…philo…no wait, I have this…fill-o-sock-able,” he smiled as he got out the word, “about this. Life has taken on a whole new structure. And I am thinkin’ thoughts new and you know, not from this country. You know, not anti-American, just someone not from here.”

“You mean foreign?” Hadley burped and then giggled.

Yes, that’s it. Foreign. Another good word. Now where was I…oh…but Sookie, she has been caught in more than one rain storm.”

“See,” her voice was very sorrowful, “that is why I do drugs. She was born without the most essential of womanly things. Loser plus.  Which is why I feel so sorry for her and I do drugs hoping we have some kinda link so she can feel better about herself.”

“So very kind of you,” Jason’s voice was a whisper as he reached out and stroked her face. “You know, for my cousin, you have some great tits and ass.”

The inside crowd was standing at the window and watching. All of them at one time had rolled their eyes and whispered rocks are smartermore than once.

“Oh gawwwwd,” Sookie choked back. “Do not, you man whore, kiss her!”

Hadley was batting her eyelashes at him and giving him her best fuck me smile. “Well thank you Jason. I will always treasure that, coming from the biggest stud in the county. But I have to pee. So let’s butt walk up the steps, use your key and go potty. Then tell Gran about the party I want. After all I am the Prodigal Granddaughter.”

“Prodigal Granddaughter,” Gran hissed. “Where is Andy? He needs to get here before I fill them both with rock salt!”

“Wait for the entertainment, Gran,” Sookie chuckled. “Look at them butt walkin’ up the stairs. Both of them  countin’ out loud! Wait one, did Jason just count five and Hadley six? Wow…dumber than rocks is correct. Okay, now they are stand—ing…or maybe not. Oops, another try. Oh how sweet is that, they are now hanging onto the wall and one, two, three, ups-a-daisy, here comes Jason and Hadley is pulling herself up by hanging onto his legs. Making progress, now she has his belt. And up she goes…no wait, back down, hanging onto Jason’s belt and she finally lets go.”

“Doin’ great Cuz’!” Jason smiled down at her. “You just wait there. I’ll get inside and call for help and Gran and Sookie can get you onto the toilet.

Now, take the key out of the pocket,” he smiled as he accomplished that task.  “And insert into the…the…hey, where is the key hole?

Oh, there it is…no wait, it is gone again.”

Jason leaned down until he was eye level with the key hole that had just reappeared and it spit something that smell a whole lot like pee at him.

“What the fuck!” he yelled. “Either Gran or Sookie just pissed on me through the keyhole!” he yelled wiping his eyes.

“You fuckers!” he shouted as he leaned back down and began yelling obscenities through the hole.

The house did not at all, like being on the receiving end of his foul mouth. Out of the keyhole came a deluge of pee! Knocking him off his feet and down the steps and into the yard.

“Damn,” Sookie chuckled. “And do I see Bon Temps finest pulling into our yard?”

Andy and Kendra got out of the vehicle and started walking toward the front of the house.

Jason sat in on the ground cursing and trying to stand up.

“What the hell Jason?” Andy said as they approached. “I can smell the weed and alcohol from here? And did you piss yourself?”

“I did not piss myself!” he said indignantly.  “Andy, if you would be so kind to help me up and help me get up the steps, I am gonna kick that door’s ass. Then I am goin’ kick Gran and Sookie’s ass. They pissed all over me!”

“That’s right,” Hadley giggled. “I saw the whole thing. And I need to get inside  so I can pee and explain to Gran  how I am the Prodigal Granddaughter and I want dancin’ and an open bar at Merlotte’s. I want the whole town to be there to welcome me home, beeeeee-cause,” she twirled her hands around, stopped for a moment to admire them and then focused back on Andy, “I have returned home and am worthy of such a lovely to-do. Yes I am,” she said lying down. “I am rich and successful and have made for myself a life in New Orleans and anyone would be proud to say they know me.”

Andy stepped over her and knocked at the door.

When Adele opened it he gave her a pitying look. “We have this. Kendra and I will take them and put them in the drunk tank.”

“Thank you Andy. Sorry to disturb you but I have no way to handle these two.”

“I understand that,” he nodded. “When they detox, what do you want me to do?”

“Send Jason back to his home and Hadley, apparently she is doing very well in New Orleans. You put her on a bus and I will pay for the ticket.”

“Can do,” he nodded.  “Do you know how they got here?” he asked.  “I didn’t see a car.”

“No idea,” she replied.

“We will get them up and out of your yard.”

“Thanks Sheriff,” she wiped at the tears in her eyes.

“Yes ma’am,” he said patting her on the shoulder.

When Gran closed the door, Andy and Kendra went to work.

“Just what the fuck happened to these two?” Kendra asked.

“Who knows,” Andy answered. “Good thing Gran has Sookie to look after her. I cannot imagine having to depend on these two for anything.”

“I really have to pee,” Hadley kept saying as they loaded her into the back of the cruiser. “I mean, that is why we stopped by, so  I could pee and tell the town I have come home.”

“Just pee in your pants,” Kendra said buckling her in.

“I’ll wait,” she smiled. “I am the Prodigal Granddaughter, I can do no wrong.”

“Well that went to Were shit,” Sophie-Anne huffed as they watched the police car roll out. “What do we do now?”

“Well, the house is up,” Bill replied, standing uneasily on the edge of the road.

“The house is up,” she smirked. “Well, you started this, you go to the door and tell the blood bags we are out here and want to work a deal.”

“What deal is that?” Bill asked.

“That we won’t stand out here and firebomb their house if they will let us in.”

Bill hesitated. “What about Old Snick? He will be offended by such a threat!”

“If you want to be my second-in-command, you had better act like it.”

“But Old Snick…”

“If he does not end you, I will,” she hissed.

“Yes, my Queen,” he said, squaring his shoulders and starting towards the house.

“As I live and no longer breathe,” Eric grinned. “Here comes Billy Boy. What oh what should we do?”

“We can dragon up!” O.I. chuckled.  “Miss Pam, you feel like screamin’?”

“I could possibly have a little angst comin’ on.”

“Most excellent,” Eric grinned. “Well then, out the back door with you  and hit him front on. Toss him back to Sophie-Anne.”

“Would that cause S-A to run away?” Gran asked.

“Well, yes, probably,” Eric nodded. “And we need to draw her in. So Bill gets to live for a few more moments. So we will let Bill come to the door. Maybe be nice to Bill, Sookie, and perhaps pretend like he can glamour you. While Bill is speaking, we shall pay a visit to the soon to be dead queen of Louisiana.”

“This is so much fun. And to think, Momma Sookie,” Pam blew her air kisses, “you are making all this possible.”

“Well, I do what I can,” she smiled. “Now, here he comes. I have this. Up the steps and oh…there is the knock. Please, allow me,” Sookie gave Gran a kiss. “I’ll be right back.”

Vampires went out the back door while Sookie opened the front door. “Huh,” she looked Bill up and  down. “My dumber than a rock brother and cousin were here and now you show up once the Sheriff is gone. Is there a method to this madness or am I imaginin’ things?”

“Why Miss Stackhouse,” he took a step closer to the screen door. “There is nothing here to imagine. It is all truth as you look into my eyes.

See,” he said looking over his shoulder, “she can be glamoured. The world is now our oyster…my queen?” his voice trailed off. “My queen, where are you?”

Giant flames raced across the sky! Followed by a hideous, hair raising scream that spoke of vomit and death!

You could hear a bit of panic in Bill’s voice. Not much but there was certainly a pitch that his momma would have recognized when she told him he was gonna get a spanking.

“Old Snick,” he whispered. “He’s here!” he gasped. “Run,” he screamed. “Run for you lives.”

Sophie-Anne and her now entourage of three goo spots were having a bit of a problem.

Three were finally dead and she was laid out in the woods in silver. Burning…and she would have been screeching except for the gag that was in her mouth.

Eric was smirking as he pulled his gloves off. “Would you look at that…the queen comes calling but cannot seem to make it to the front door.”

Pam dismounted from O.I. and was licking her fangs. “What do you think, Eric? A stake or the sword to cut her head off with? My personal favorite is ripping her heart out with my hand.”

“Those are quick and painless, Child,” he answered. “I think she needs something a  bit more.”
“You just going to leave her, here,” Ian asked. “And let the sun take her?”

“She is not worth much effort and that is very effective,” Eric answered. “You know sunrise is coming and you can feel the heat as it begins to cook you. And then it starts to crest and those life giving rays bring on your death. First you scorch, then your blood boils and then you feel you skin melting off before you implode.

And her court thinks she is living here. We will just see to it that they continue to think that.”

“Film at eleven?” Pam asked.

“Absolutely,” he replied.

“I am so on that!” she replied with glee. “Oh Sophie-Anne,” Pam kneeled down and patted her on the cheek. “Guess who Eric wants to be Queen? Why little ole’ me,” Pam smirked batting her eyelashes. “How fortunate that your residence was blown all to hell, by us, and you are homeless. We will be done in New Orleans and I shall rule out of Fangtasia. Well,” she sighed, “if you can call it ruling. No vampire taxes to be paid in the great state of Louisiana. No drama to feed or to deal with.

And how, I can see the laughter in your eyes, you are thinking, are we going to make that happen?

Well, Daddy Eric has a brand new bag of tricks and they are spectacular. So you don’t have to worry for him. Things in Louisiana will be just fine.

And so you know, treachery abounds. All Hallow’s Eve is coming on and Catherine just might show up. Seems a hundred or so out of Russia will be in attendance. And I bet she did not clear that with you.

But don’t you worry,  we have a nasty surprise waiting for her as well.” With an extra special smirk, Pam turned away.  “What about Bill?” she asked.

“O.I., can you find him?” Eric asked.

“Indeed I can. Master Cedric o’ last of the wind riders,” O.I. sparked as he spoke. “If you would like to join me?”

“I would be honored,” he replied as he climbed on and they took to the air. “Back soonest,” he grinned and then they were gone.


William T. Compton had hauled ass off the Stackhouse property, through the cemetery, past his old homestead and when he found the main highway, he headed toward Shreveport.

“I can hear the boo-hooing all the way up here,” Cedric said rolling his eyes as he watched the vampire below him, who had finally sat down and was blubbering and wailing about Old Snick!

“Pickin’ him up and takin’ him back,” O.I. chuckled.

There was not even a shift of the breeze when O.I.’s  claws went around Bill, shook him around, bouncing him off the ground and then took flight.

The screaming from Bill was non-stop and once they were back at the farm, O.I. revved up for the pitch and Bill crashed through the trees and onto the ground.

“Bulls-eye,” Gran smiled and waved at O.I. as he fluttered to the ground. “You hit S-A dead-square in the face with his ass. Looks like his upper body landed on a stick and he exploded right in her mouth.”

“That is the closest Compton has ever come to you know, cumming in a woman’s mouth,” Pam chuckled.

“Let the bad, tasteless jokes, begin,” Ian hooted.

“Let me get the cameras,” Pam was back to being all business. “We will record S-A’s death for any and all who we need to torture. Just play this over and over and bore them to death.”

Sophie-Anne saw the dragon approaching. “Old Snick, Old Snick,” she kept whimpering, her eyes rolling into the back of her head! With a moan she bit off some of the silver and swallowed it in her fear! It passed through her heart and just like that, she was goo.

“Huh,” Ian looked down at the mess. “Not very elegant but effective.”

“The Queen is dead!” The cheer was taken up as Cedric   tossed Pamela up into the air, “Long live the Queen!”

Talk to Me—Chapter 11

talk to me coveere page

Talk to Me

Chapter 11

The characters of the Southern Vampire Mysteries belong to Miss Charline Harris. No infringement on my part is intendedThe characters on True Blood belong to Mr. Alan Ball. No infringement on my part is intended.

I have no BETA, editor, or other such charming person. All mistakes are my own. This Story is rated M.

Sophie-Anne was watching Hadley dance. Dressing her in a long evening dress and heels, she was intrigued as Compton waltzed her across the floor. The girl had some moves. Some delightful, others distracting. But  for now, the pros outweighed the cons so she was still delightful.

Her Hadley was an addict. Her Hadley acknowledged that. And that she liked being an addict.

Yes, the Queen of Louisiana licked her lips. Hadley would not refuse anything, but Oxy-Contin   was the breather’s drug of choice, ,  and she could admit to herself, she liked it as well.  Opium had been her go-to when she was a human.  There was just a slight tingle to Hadley’s blood that made the newest wanna be child interesting and brought back a bit of a buzz from her human days. Of course, if she turned her, that lovely high would be gone from Hadley’s blood, but the girl was lovely and pleasant and sneaky and conniving. Not a bad child to keep around and running the day-to-day. Plus, a new child would mean a grand party and right now she had no place to hold such a gala…well, she snickered, unless she graced Area Five with her presence.

“What the fuck?” she chided herself. “This is how you ended up in this mess to start with. Eric…” she closed her eyes and counted to ten. When the Queen of Missouri had wanted to marry him and offered her money she had laughed outrageously. Hell, she would have loved to have worked that deal! Except Eric came with his own caveats!  Like he owned those acres of her, oh ha ha, northern border. Apparently had since he came to the new world, which was a fuck load of time before anyone else did!

And since he inspired loyalty, had a warrior’s spirit, loved to war and came with a fuck you personality and  an abundance of muscles and brains, he was left alone. In the early days, there had been one or two who thought to make a run at him. Those poor fools were not even footnotes in vampire history. They were just listed under stupid fuckers, she had heard from more than one of their history keepers.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! If only she could get rid of Eric! But if she did, who would she put in that most strategic  northern border? Certainly not the nitwit Compton who was smiling and laughing as the music went to a Rumba and  both dancers fell into step.

That old scoundrel Niall, was supposed to be here tonight with a small, blonde, breather as well. It would   be fun to pit the two of these little girls against each other and see which one came out the winner. But the old vampire so far was a no show. He had touted his breather’s delights to far exceed the likes of which she had ever encountered.

“Hah!” she snickered to herself. “Niall is a proven liar but I am intrigued why he would not keep such a delight for himself.

But then, those same rumors say he has a harem of only the finest which is why he has lived so long and prospered. He hand selects the mother himself and finds a stud to get the job done. Raises them in the fine way of serving your vampire master. Damn….what a lifestyle! You have to have money and a lot of security to make that happen. And where in the hell in the U.S.  could you do that? Phones are fucking everywhere and there is always someone trying to get ahead. My gawd…the Were shit going on in the Californias is enough to convince anyone that there is always someone willing to cut off your head for a step up! Who would have thought that idiot Rappion capable of ending Granting? In what universe does that happen?  Well, apparently this one! That I should live to see such a day!

But this one that Niall touts, I am intrigued. If she is sweeter than Hadley, we just might have to make a deal!”

Looking at Bill, he stopped dancing and brought Hadley over to her. “Do you see child, how Mr. Compton watches for my every move and anticipates my needs? That is why he is my Procurer.

As my child, I shall desire this behavior from you.”

“Of course your majesty,” Hadley replied with a deep curtsy, flowing gracefully to the floor.

“Rise child,” Sophie-Anne smiled at her and extended her hand.

“Thank you your majesty,” Hadley replied, keeping her voice very soft and demur. When she was once more standing on her feet, she kneeled and kissed the queen’s hand.

“Rise child and come sit at my feet and stare longingly into my eyes. While we chat, William shall provide us with our next bit of entertainment.”

Bill looked at her and she nodded.

With a salute, he was gone.

“Dear child,” Sophie-Anne began, “are you adverse to having another child?”

Hadley looked confused.

“Speak child, what is on your mind?”

“Your majesty, can I be a vampire and get knocked up?”

“Such a vulgar term, child, for our heir. And no, you cannot. You would have to carry the child to term and remain drug free. When the babe is born, then you shall be turned and be Mother-to-the-Regent.”

“Really?” It was easy to read the desire in her eyes. Yes, Sophie-Anne smiled to herself, you just had to dangle the right bait.

“Yes,” she smiled. “And I would want our child to be perfect. A child so beautiful that all would stop and gaze in wonder.

This is easily doable with you as the mother and the handsome young man we have picked to father our child.”

“So…so…it would be sex and nothin’ artificial to get me pregnant? With a good lookin’ guy…and I live here and you pick up all the bills?”

“Yes,” she smiled. “Ah-h-h-h, Mr. Compton is bringing him in now.”

When the door opened, all Hadley could do was stare…dumbfounded at the handsome man that was entering the room.

“Hadley?” Jason bellowed. “What the fuck girl? Is this where you have been? Feedin’ vamps. I been doin’ a bit myself on the side, but damn, you are lookin’ like a million bucks!”

“You know each other?” Sophie-Anne drawled out, feeling herself wondering if she was ever going to have a moment when she did not have to kill someone.

“Yes,” Hadley smiled and waved at the man whore who was just as gorgeous as the day was long. “He is my cousin, Jason Stackhouse.”

“Just what are the odds…”Sophie-Anne regarded Bill with a frown. “Jason, do you happen to live in Bon Temps?”

“Yes ma’am,” he smiled. “I do. Bill here said that if I did a stud service for him, I would get a couple of grand and maybe get a job here on weekends, you know spreadin’ my goodness around and pleasin’ the ladies.”

“Oh…my…gawd…” the Queen of Louisiana was shaking her head. “Inbred country bumpkins. This will not do at all,” she thought.

“Bil-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l,” she drawled out the word. “Report to Zimmerman. Tell him to give you the royal fuck over treatment. I’ll be down in fifteen minutes.”

“My queen,” Bill threw himself on the floor. “Mercy…please…there is something that guards the Stackhouse homestead. I brought Jason as…as…”

“Thinking to get back at what guards the house?” her voice went up an octave. “Did you bring Were shit down on my home?” she screeched.

“What?” Jason and Hadley both said.

Sophie-Anne and Bill both turned and looked at them.

“Somethin’ guards the house?” Jason shrugged. “I have never seen anythin’?  Of course, Sookie is a bit odd.”

“A bit,” Hadley snickered. “How about a lot.”  Oh goody, she had an audience! Look how interested everyone was!   “However my momma did say she when she was a little girl, she would see lights out in the woods from time-to-time. And maybe an old man walking there. Some ghost of a relative or somethin’, she always thought.”

“A ghost?” the queen shivered. “And this Sookie, does she talk to this ghost?”

Jason hooted. “Who knows just what or who my sister talks to. Maybe the Man in the Moon. And maybe he answers her. Damn…at times, she is just spooky.”

Hadley rolled her eyes. “Not spooky, just stupid! You know, she was the reason I started doin’ drugs. I was tryin’ to see if I could understand just what she was goin’ through, poor thing. No boy wanted to date her, and most of the time, they were just mean. And well, maybe I was too.  But as I got older I got kinder, tryin’ to understand her poor, miserable existence.  I mean I can sometimes see pretty lights when I am usin’, but so far, the only thing that talks to me is my toothbrush.”

“Really?” Jason looked shocked. “Me too. I mean, honest to gawd, if I would drink too much, after puking my guts out, there would be my toothbrush, passin’ judgment on me. Damn I  hate that. Just like listen’ to Gran, only worse, because I have to live with the toothbrush.”

Sophie-Anne just sat there with her mouth open. “Inbreed hillbillies,” she shivered. “Well good, I have dodged a bullet.”

Motioning for the closest guard, she was watching the two cousins and she felt like puking…however, there was no need to burn that bridge. The male might be useful to Niall. “Streeter,” she smiled at him,

“Take these two to the party room,” she smiled sweetly at her. “I understand we have some wonderful cannabis.”

“Oh goody,” Hadley smiled. “Jason, if you don’t want your share, save it for me.”

The two humans were escorted out of the room.

“Bill,” she was shaking her head. “I want the story. The complete story. And if you leave anything out or lie to me, your ending will go on for years.”


Bill began with tears of gratitude in his voice…


…“So…”  she looked thoughtful. “This thing, Snick, protects the Stackhouse property. And those that live there. I wonder if it would protect me if I lived there with Hadley? And maybe Jason?”

“My Queen?” Bill was still prostrate on the floor.

“While the work is being done, I need someplace to live. Someplace safe. Somewhere filled with homey goodness and yet deceptively simple. Someplace if someone was to think to make a run at me, this thing would destroy them.”

“Oh…” Bill paused. “My Queen, that is brilliant. Rid the kingdom of wanna be’s at no expense to you.”

“But we would have to be careful. Hadley and Jason will be our   way in. Then we can glamour the Stackhouses  and move in and cause no harm to them. This just might work.

Bill,” she stood and toed him, “you should have told me this upon your return. Report to the Zman and…and…have him put a tracking chip in you.”

“What? A tracking chip? You have those?”

“Bill…are you questioning me?”

“No my queen, of course not. Tracking chip it is. Do you require anything else this evening?”

“No,” she replied as she went back to her throne. “Send in Crankshaft on your way out. I need my feet rubbed.”


“Zman,” Bill began when he entered. “I am required to have a tracking chip. Her blessed and most sincere requests it.”

“Bill, you dumb fuck, you keep pissing her off. Sit on the birthing stool and let us get started.”

“What?” he yelped.

Zman just looked at him and Bill immediately stripped and sat down on the silver dildo, screaming and bucking wildly as his feet swung in the air above his head.

“Now for the chip,” Zman was all business as he advanced toward Bill. “Smile for me and hold your head still for a moment. I need to push this piece of silver right up into you gum, on top of your fang.  It takes ten minutes for it to mutate your fang, then I will remove it. It won’t grow back for about thirty days. So be a good boy and take your medicine and for fucks sake Bill, pay attention and stop pissing her off.”


It was morning at the old Stackhouse farmhouse and Gran and O.I., still wearing his Tor persona, were sitting outside on the porch sipping coffee. Tor had made scones this morning and Gran was having hers hot from the oven with butter and lemon curd.

“Mo’ fo’n,” O.I. took a sniff and rolled his eyes. “Can we please have a nice breakfast just sittin’ and rockin’ and enjoyin’ each other’s company. Ams I askin’ for the world, Miss Adele?”

“Certainly not,” she replied. “Who comes calling so early in the morning?” she asked as she took another bite.

“Mo’ fo’n Weres,” he sighed and rolled his eyes. “I hates that they is out there tressing the pass  in your woods. Doing gnarly and snarly things that decent folk do not abide.”

“They hurtin’ my land?” she asked as she took a drink of coffee and eyed another orange cranberry scone.

“Hm-m-m-m,” he took a sniff. “They is diggin’. Let me go take a look see what is goin’ on. I’ll be right back.”

Gran watched him shift to dragon and take flight. There were screams and then she thought she smelled burning hair.

O.I returned shortly. “Took care of those mangey mo’ fo’ers,” he smiled as he settled back into his Tor body. “Left one for my prince to be talkin’ with. There were ten of them, diggin’ a big hidey hole. Now there is just one of them, in the hidey hole. All dragon glamoured up and waitin’ to tell his truths.”

“What was all the noise?” Sookie asked sticking her head out and carrying a cup of coffee and a scone.

“Weres, Mr. O.I. said, but he has dealt with them and left one for Eric,” Gran nodded, looking very pleased. “Good morning,  Mrs. Northman,” Gran blew her a kiss.”

“Hope we didn’t keep you awake last night,” Sookie smiled. “I mean…”

“I know what you mean dear and no you did not,” Gran got up and hugged her. “Mr. O.I. took me flying. We just got in ourselves.”

“Really?” she looked intrigued.

“Yes, I saw the moon rise over the Eiffel Tower.”

“Wow,” Sookie’s eyes got big. “Way to go, Gran!”

“Yes,” she nodded and smiled at O.I.

“Wait,” Sookie took a step back. “Is that…is that bad girl talk for sex?”

Gran chuckled. “No. I really did see the moon rise over the Eiffel Tower. Now how is Eric? Did he go to ground or is he tucked up under your bed?”

“Oh,” Sookie’s smiled got bigger. “He’s comin’. We watched the sun rise and did some more fun stuff and showered and now he has business to conduct before he comes on down. Seems our blood exchanges really do work. And damn, he is just handsome in daylight!”

“Excellent,” Gran smiled. “Come sit down and rock with us for a spell. O.I made the scones. We stopped off in London and purchased the lemon curd. Such a nice way to start the day. I feel like royalty!”

“Well you certainly look like royalty,” Sookie nodded in approval. “Where did you get that dress and matching outer duster?”

“Lovely, huh,” Gran smiled. “O.I. took me into the cutest little shop in Paris. Bought this for me. Check out these little house shoes to match!” she said very pleased, holduping up her feet.

“Wow, you sparkle like a million bucks,” Sookie smiled at her. “And that shade of burnt orange with all those fall colors with all those rhinestones looks fab on you, Gran.”

“Well thank you dear,” she sighed. “Shortly, I shall be retiring for the day. But I am putting this outfit back on when I rise. It is just too pretty for words!”

“Yes, it is,” there was Eric’s voice and then the screen door opened and he stepped out. “Good morning family,” he kissed Gran on the forehead and taking Sookie’s hand, he placed a lavish kiss, there.

“Good morning husband,” Sookie smiled at him.

“And a very good morning to you, wife,” he smiled back as he sat down beside her in the old wicker love seat.

“Sorry to have to conduct business before breakfast, but Pam left me voice mail. And I thank you, O.I. for dealing with the Weres. There is something about the smell of burning Were first thing in the morning,” he grinned. “Tends not to set well with the lovely evening you had,” Eric said as he brought Sookie’s hand up for another kiss.

“My pleasure, saved you one,” O.I. replied as he sipped his coffee. “Glamoured and waitin’.”

“Most excellent. But I probably know more than he does. S-A needed a foot massage and she talks like Crankshaft is not even there. Musing to herself and laughing and chatting while she plots and plans.

I am so sorry to bring this to the breakfast table,” he bowed his head. “But I have a thousand years of dealing with business first. So, before I start, I would like to acknowledge the beautiful women that sit here with us.

Gran, you look like the Fall Goddess Capro,this morning. What a lovely ensemble. Did it come from Le Vol des Ailesin Paris?”

“Well yes it did come from The Flight of Wings,” she smiled. “How did you know that?”

“Pamela loves to shop there. Their one of a kinds,” he nodded to her, “are truly one of a kind.”

“And my beautiful wife,” his voice was soft and tender. Leaning over, he  gave Sookie a kiss.

“Grandson,” she smiled at him, “you were not the first to bring business to the table. It started with those pesky Weres out in our woods. Is that what your business was about?”

“Yes,” he nodded. “I had to make a few phone calls and put some boots on the ground.

I come bearing sad news. Your Hadley is in New Orleans but so is Jason, hiring himself out for stud service.”

Gran closed her eyes and shook her head. Looking up she sighed and said, “Just tell me. All of it.”

“S-A fancies to breed her own. Have a good looking couple give her a child and then turn the mother…” Eric shrugged. “Maybe or not. Depending on her mood.

When I ran Bill off as Old Snick, Bill thought to get even with the Stackhouses for embarrassing him and found Jason. Offered him the job of getting a woman pregnant for two thousand dollars and maybe a romp through S-A’s headquarters.”

“Well, it was a nice morning, glad I had my adventure,” Adele replied.  “What’s the rest?”

“Oh-h-h-h,” Eric lifted his nose and arching both eyebrows, blew her a kiss.  “The queen needs someplace safe to stay until she has a place in NO worthy of her. She thinks here would be ideal. Bring the Stackhouse kids, glamour you two and move in. So that Old Snick will protect the Stackhouse land and any and all friends that are invited in. Meanwhile, she will let all her enemies know where she is and she hopes they will come calling. This way, she rids herself of those who wish to bring her the true death at no expense to herself.”

“Mother…fucker…” Gran shook her head. “Well,” she said buttering her scone, her voice a bit more upbeat, “at least I know where those other two grandchildren are. I honestly thought Hadley was dead from a drug overdose. To me she still is. Guess I will not have to Christmas shop for Jason this year.”

“Gran?” Sookie was watching the older woman and wondering what had just happened. Gran always made excuses for those two.

“Sookie, it is past time to cut my losses. Those two are just whores. Willing to bed anyone to get what they want. And bringing into this world a child…my great grandchild…to become the property of a vampire queen! So that this bitch could what? Breed her own blood whores? With our bloodline?

And those two! This is what they think to do with the Stackhouse blood that runs through their veins!

We are honest, decent, hardworking folks. Always have been.

Those two have no self-respect. Jason looking for an easy lay and Hadley being an easy lay.  Time for me to speak the truth and stop hiding behind the excuses I have been making for them. Because of their poor choices, look what they have rained down on us.  I see war once more being fought on Stackhouse land. Let them bring it. We are ready!”

“Go Gran!” Sookie applauded.

“Grandson, do you have a plan?”

“Oh Miss Adele,” he grinned, “I always have a plan. And now that I have day walking ability and the House of Brigant at my side, I have multiple plans.

I am going to have a brief chat with the Were. Load him with information and send him on his very scared and terrified way. I shall return shortly.”