On this roof top in Dallas….Eric was not suppose to be here…
That was the hardest part. Explaining to his child in the few moments that he had left why he had decided to take this path.
Godric would have liked to have told Eric that this was a decision that had been two thousand years in the making. He would like to have sat down with his child and explained it until Eric understood it rationally and did not grieve for it emotionally.
Godric wanted him to know that he was not afraid to go on, nor was he running from universal truths or myths…just simply that he loved his child and he feared for him.
In his two thousand years he had seen many things and he knew that there were things that he had not seen but were still present and walked along with him.
When he had made the decision to give himself over to the FotS, his line of sight had begun to change. Things seemed clearer and cleaner and he would, from time to time, see flashes of light from the corner of his eyes moving at an incredible rate of speed. Faster than vampire…faster than…well, the speed of light…
If he could have sat down with Eric, he would have wanted him to know that he valued his life but there was a point and a time when things end. He did not understand why there was vampire, he only knew that there was…and the decisions that had been made in regards to his child were not always for the best.
It was comforting having Sookie on the rooftop with him. This small human tread this world without fear and with faith. This would be his ending and his new beginning and he believed Sookie with all that he was…that at the end of this madness, there was forgiveness. Here on a rooftop in Dallas he would find forgiveness, if not for himself, then for his child. In the tongue of the Irish, Dallas meant wise. And since loving Eric, this was the wisest of his decisions.
He could smell sunrise before he could feel it. All vampires could. Warm air smelled different than cold air. In warmth there was life…of all sorts and descriptions. And each season smelt differently. From the heady smells of summer to the sun warmed snow.
Godric could feel the heat of the rays of the sun before it cleared the horizon. His beloved child was gone to his rest, Eric’s bloody tears leaving a smear on the roof…a reminder of what he had created him to be.
“Eric, my Eric.” He was his only regret. He had changed a warrior who should have with honor and glory, died, and gone forth to see his god. Instead, he had transformed him into….certainly not a god. Depending on what you believed, perhaps a monster.
Then there was Nora…he would not waste his final moments, there. She thought he did not know. Of course he knew…she was his child, born of his blood. She was destined to fail with the Sanguinistas, because the humans were destined to win.
There was no fear in him as he stood on the rooftop. There was acceptance and the knowledge that Eric would go on and Sookie would help him find his way.
Because as his maker, he could not.
This exceptional female, Sookie, would see to his Eric. No matter what she said, this was her destiny. He could see the light wrap around her and Eric as they had stood there. The light from his body reaching for her, the light from her body embracing his.
So in peace and also joy he removed his shirt and turned to the East to watch the sun light crest over the horizon. As the smoke rose from his body his eyes fixed on the light that he had not seen in two thousand years.
“Please,” he cried out with his mind, “in my arrogance I mislead my child. Please I am seeking the truth. In my heart, I want to know the truth.”
It was sunrise, the beginning of a new day.
Sookie was weeping…for him. He could feel Eric’s tears as he descended down the stairs and in sorrow walked safely to his room.
Looking into the light, he thought the sun’s rays would be harsher, burn his eyes. It certainly had when he had been human. He could not look at the sun as vampire. When he had caught small glimpses of the sun, he had been blinded, the light and heat so intense that his eyes, scorched.
But this light that cleansed his body pulsed in him and he found it familiar. Like a taste long forgotten; a smell of something that he once, knew.
Looking past the light, he saw the blue of the sky…no it was the blue green of the water and his bare feet walked on grassy land. He was standing in an old growth forest on a high cliff. In the distance was another cliff and he could see that the heavily wooded hill ran down into the water. The mountain peaks in the background were covered in snow. Blue skies and white fluffy clouds provided the backdrop for the mountains.
Of course, he smiled as he looked around. The fjords! Eric’s home!
Laughing, he sat down in a sunny spot and breathed deeply of the pine forest and the lavender that grew in a rotted log.
In the distance, he could see a man walking towards him. “He must be the guardian of this place. This has been pleasant, but I can not fool myself, my time has come.”
Well yes, this was why he was here. He had come to plead his case and to ask that he be allowed to take all punishments. As Eric’s maker, it was his right to ask to do so.
“Nice tattoos,” the guardian sat down next to him and they both paused as a butterfly passed by.
Godric smiled as he looked at his naked upper body. This was the first words he had heard on the other side. He had not guessed that it would be this.
“During my time as human, I was a priest to my people. The tattoos that I carry on my body say this.”
“Yes,” the man studied his arm. “It is a prayer. It identifies you as a priest and that you speak with authority to Tyr for your people. That you ask for inner harmony and peace and protection but that we may always stand ready as warriors. That the power in your words be heard and not blocked by god, man, or evil. That your people are warriors yet wish to walk the path of peace and well being.”
“Your Rune language is very good,” Godric was impressed. “It is written in Tyr’s language. Tyr is a very old god. The first god. After him came others but my clan, we worshiped Tyr. It was a great honor to be his priest.”
“Yes,” the guardian bowed his head in acknowledgement. “I am the priest of my people as well. I carry the prayer for my people within me so an outward display is not necessary.”
“It is good that you have such a strength in your convictions,” Godric smiled at him. “My tattoo prayer,” he closed his eyes and made a face. “It helped to keep me focused. I did not understand why some lived and others died. It reminded me that that there are mysteries and only our god knew the answer.
Then, after I was turned,” he opened his eyes and sighed, “I became lost. Far from the path of Tyr I fell and with stumbling steps, I am trying to find my way back.”
“Why did you stop,” the man’s voice hesitated, “here?”
Godric became very serious. “This is the beginning of my quest. I have hope that this is the place of judgment. I come seeking judgment. I am searching for this god who judges.
My Eric, he thinks I left him there by himself. That was not my intent. I had to come on ahead and meet with this god and let him know. My Eric…” he smiled. “He is a good boy. In his heart there is love. He left behind many things to walk with me. He believed me when I told him that there was no right or wrong. For these teachings, I am responsible. I wish to speak to this god and tell him this. That when my Eric’s time comes…I wish to stand in his stead so that he may sit here and enjoy the cool breezes and see his beloved fjords again.
Sookie spoke of forgiveness. I wish this,” he admired the scenery around him, “for my Eric. “
“Well,” came the guardian’s thoughtful reply, “if Eric was as good as you say, then he would know in his heart that what you said and what he did was wrong.”
“Yes,” Godric felt the tears form. “He knew and yet I wanted him to be like me and so he wanted to be like me. I know that is no excuse. And I do not ask forgiveness for myself. Only for my child.
I was a priest of my people and I knew right from wrong. In my heart,” Godric touched his chest, “I knew.”
Straightening his shoulders he sat up taller. “I knew what I told my Eric was wrong. But I wanted him to survive. The pride in me, the terror of the other vampires could inflict on him. The terror the humans could inflict on him. The Romans were brutal. I wanted him to be strong and I wanted him to survive.”
“Yes,” came the guardian’s steady reply, “I know of the brutality of the Romans.
I may have encountered a vampire or two that I rebuked,” he chuckled.
Godric was relieved. Here was one who had walked the earthly realm. “So yes, you know the ways of that world. You worry for the ones you love. And I worried. Especially after I made his sister, Nora. I thought, since she was a priestess, she would understand. Betrayal was something she had already perfected before I met her.”
“I know something about betrayal, as well,” the guardian replied in a soft voice.
Both men sat in quiet, watching the waves and the sky.
“Do you ask anything for yourself?” Godric heard the gentleness in the question.
Godric closed his eyes and could feel the sun beating down on him. Smell the water, the pine, the cold that blew off the mountains. If he too, could have this…if this god could find a place for Eric and for him as well…
Opening his eyes, Godric regarded the man that sat next to him. There was no frown of disfavor or smile of acceptance. Just his thoughtful gaze that was concentrated on him. “That if this god, that created this,” he gave a small tentative smile as he looked around him, “can forgive me,” Godric’s gaze was back on the guardian, “then he is, indeed, a powerful god for I have done many wrong things.”
Godric heard a call from the sky and looking upward started to laugh. “Are…” he pointed skyward and then stood as if standing got him much closer…”are those dragons?” he laughed in joy!
“Yes,” came a chuckle as the guardian stood. “All with a heart that has been sacrificed are welcome here. The fjords seem to speak to us all.
Love,” the man smiled at him, “is sacrifice. Do not worry for your Eric,” he chuckled and then became very still. “Miss Sookie, she has enough faith until he finds his own.
Nora, however,” he shook his head. “Her kind is not welcome here. We fought a battle a long time ago and cast all those out who could not find love in their hearts.”
“Where will Nora go?” Godric asked.
“Hell,” came the response.
“What is Hell?” Godric stepped in closer, wanting to know.
“The absence of God,” came his reply.
“If god is absent, then what will she find there?” Godric asked.
“Her own kind,” he replied.
With a heart felt smile, Godric bowed his head. “I thank you for my Eric. Could you take my thanks from me to this god?”
“Would you like to tell Him, yourself?” he asked.
“I would think,” Godric looked around, “that he would have no time for the likes of me.”
“He just might see that differently,” came the reply. “I know Him very well.”
“I…I would be honored to be able to deliver my thanks my self.” Godric looked at the man. He was tall, with neatly pulled back blond hair that he wore in a ponytail. His beard was just a shade darker, tinged with some red as a blond’s hair was want to do. There was a small gold earring in one ear and blue eyes twinkled.
“How did you come to be here?” Godric asked as they walked.
“Crucifixion,” was his reply.
“Fucking Romans!” Godric spit out.
“Yes,” he laughed.
As they walked, Godric was not for sure if the ground gave way or if it was his body that changed or both. He was too busy looking at everything around him. The lights that pulsed and flashed were falling faster and faster until they took shape and form.
Millions of voices raised in harmony as joy flooded him and a oneness engulfed him. “It’s a celebration!” Godric clapped his hands in joy.
“Yes,” came the reply. “My Father’s welcome.”
“He must love you,” Godric’s voice cracked as his spirit tired to comprehend what was before him.
“Yes He does,” he replied with love shining in his eyes. “But I am not the son He is welcoming home.”
The brilliance before Godric shimmered and danced as it approached him and a shape appeared. That of a man. A humble man. Not certainly the way you would expect a god to appear.
Standing in front of Godric, his God said, “Welcome home my son.”
In joy and jubilation, Godric sank to his knees and wrapping his arms around Him, he shouted his thanks and his love!
“Come,” The Father stood him up. “I thank you for your love but we are on a tight schedule since my son took his place at my right hand. There is much to be done and it’s time to get to work.”